Sarah: Hello?

Eric: Yes. We have achieved. Wow.

Sarah: Okay. I don't know what happened there. I have no clue. But, like, you hit record, and it went boom, and then I heard nothing.

Eric: I knew. I knew. I knew we were gonna have problems today because

Sarah: I have a head injury?

Eric: No. Well, no. That's part of today has been cursed because I started out this morning I started out this morning putting grinding pepper onto my breakfast, the world's greatest breakfast, biscuits and gravy. And and our grinder is 1 that the grinding mechanism's on the bottom and then so is the cap that you unscrew to fill it with the peppercorns. Right. Well, when I was done and we've had problems with this before. I turned it over to put it back on the counter, and that cat fell out and dumped all the peppercorns all over.

Sarah: And That was an that was an omen for sure.

Eric: It was. I knew today was gonna happen like this. So, yeah, I it's gonna be this way the entire episode. I guarantee it.

Sarah: Let's not talk to gods. Let's get started before we get

Eric: in real trouble here. Yes. Let's let's let's find a virgin we can sacrifice or something, if if we can find a virgin.

Sarah: Anyway. That puts me out. So sorry.

Eric: Alright. Well, I'm ready if you are.

Sarah: Alright. Let's go. Okay. Welcome to steel watching, which is a podcast for Remington steel fans. My name is Sarah, and I am going to be the wet blanket this week.

Eric: And I'm Eric. And, well, it's not starting out good. It's I hope it gets better, but, you know, there's always room for deprovement.

Sarah: Yeah. That's true. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Eric: That's right.

Sarah: I had told steel watchers when we started doing this that there

Eric: was 1 episode. Wait a minute. Wait minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute Okay.

Before you start throwing me under the bus. I want to defend myself. No.

Sarah: No. No. This is I wasn't gonna throw you under the bus. You're safe. No bus.

Eric: Okay. Okay. Alright.

Sarah: Yeah. No. No. No. I I'm saying that 50.

Stay above 50. Anyway, I told steel watchers months and like, when we years ago now Mhmm. Years, when we started doing this, there was 1 episode of this series, just 1 that I would skip if I were not having to watch it for the purpose of this podcast. It's the only episode that I would willingly skip.

Eric: And you probably told me which 1 it was.

Sarah: I don't think I told anybody.

Eric: For some reason, I had it in my head that it was Bonds of Steel.

Sarah: Yeah. No. I I didn't tell anybody, but a lot of people just assumed it was Bonds because, let's face it. The end of bonds of steel is pretty terrible. But the rest of the episode heard me hear first, folks.

I don't mind the rest of bonds of steel. I find it kind of fun. This episode, though, steel spawning. And I think only 1 person in the steel watchers guessed it, and I can't remember who it was, but somebody did guess it. I I so okay.

I just wanted to put this out there first because it's

Eric: Lou Anderson's character. Whoever it was that guessed this, go back and find your post. Send us a screenshot of it. Yeah. And send us your mailing address, and we'll come up with something.

Something. Yeah. Something. We'll come up with something.

Sarah: But I I okay. Louie Anderson. Okay? You know how when we watch pocket full of steel, you cannot stand the kid. Mhmm.

That's this episode for me with Louie Anderson. And I made a point to because I I will freely admit. I have not seen him in anything else. Like, I have seen him in the odd thing, like, the odd, like, but I haven't seen

Eric: Video

Sarah: clip for some them. Him. Yeah. And I googled him because I had seen all these glowing, like, praises of his work and things that he'd won Emmy awards and stuff like that. And to me, in this episode, anyway, I thought this guy can't act.

What the hell are we doing here? So I made a point because I'm like, maybe there's something with this episode specifically, or it was the direction, or I don't know. So I watched some of his stand up comedy, and I found it funny. I will freely admit I laughed at a stand up comedy. I found him funny there.

So and I haven't seen a lot of the other shows. He was nominated for an Emmy, or he won an Emmy for a series that he did later in his life. He's he's passed away now. So I'm gonna preemptively apologize to Louie Anderson for initially thinking that just he can't act period dot period because that was my presumption from this episode. I just cannot stand him in this episode.

I genuinely can't.

Eric: I don't think it's because he can't act. I'm I'm I'm not gonna say he's the greatest actor in the world. I am not gonna say that. But I think, in his defense, I think he's coming off as the character is intended to be. It it maybe it comes off as bad acting to you and some other folks, but I think it's because his character is supposed to be genuinely obnoxious, offensive.

Sure.

Sarah: Yes. His 100%.

Eric: You know? And his thing here and I think part of part of maybe why he comes off as being a bad actor is because he's stiff and he's whiny, but I think that's I think that's the character.

Sarah: Yeah. No. I I I don't disagree with you on that at all. I I I looked it up just because I wanna make it clear here that I'm not trying to bash Louie Anderson because he so according to this, okay, he

Eric: has won

Sarah: the the, Wikipedia thingy that I found. He has

Eric: know how reliable that is.

Sarah: Multiple Emmy Awards. He was named 1 of the top 100 comedians of all time by Comedy Central. He won a Primetime Emmy Award in 2016 for his outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series for his critically acclaimed role as Christine Baskets, the mother of the main character played by Zach Alifarnakis, a role inspired by his own mother. He was nominated for the award 3 consecutive times. Now I haven't seen that up that show, but apparently, his work in that was quite good.

Life with Louie was his own show that he created, produced, and provided the main voices. This is an animated series. I do remember this. I didn't watch it, but I remembered it being on TV. It ran from Fox from 1995 to '98, and it was based on his childhood, and it earned him 2 daytime Emmy Awards for outstanding performer.

He hosted Family Feud. He did a number of acting roles. He was in Coming to America. He was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. He did some guest spots in, like, other shows like Young Sheldon, Search Party.

So he's he's got a prolific career. So I don't wanna make it sound like I'm bashing Louie Anderson. Because like I said, I went and found his stand up, and he was good. Like, I enjoyed the stand up. I laughed.

And I'm part of it is gonna be we'll get into it when we get there, but I just wanted to put put that out there because this was the episode that I said I would skip, Steel spawning. And part of it is some issues with the writing. Part of it's some issues with the directing. But I I I don't I no longer think that he just can't act blanket like he can't act because obviously he can. This episode is is is gonna try.

It's gonna try me. So I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna try to get through it here without being too because, like, I don't wanna be that person that just destroys an episode, especially if there's people that Even

Eric: though you're going to be?

Sarah: I'm trying to try not to be, but, like, there's probably people out there that like this episode. I'm sure 1 or 2 of them exist. So

Eric: you're talking to 1 of

Sarah: them. Okay. So you'll be the this is a you'll be the the good cop, and I'm gonna be the bad cop this time. Yes. That's fair.

Okay. So, yeah, as in case you haven't guessed, we're gonna be talking about steel spawning season 4 episode 12, which aired first aired on 01/28/1986, and it was written by John Worth and directed by Will McKenzie. Now I just wanna quickly find out how old he would have been here because I think that matters in terms of what you said about him being whiny. So if this was 1986, and I believe he was born he would have been 33. So maybe that plays into it a little bit because I think I could possibly buy a whiny character that was maybe a little bit younger.

That would maybe annoy me a little bit less than a grown ass man just acting like a 12 year old and saying daddy all the time. Like That just But that's

Eric: his character. That's his character.

Sarah: I get, like, like, full body revulsion anytime I hear him say daddy. I'm just like, no. No. Can't do it. Can't do it.

So, yeah, this was really funny.

Eric: 0. 0. 0.

Sarah: 0. Can we

Eric: sorry. We got so sidetracked with all of our technical issues, and we just ran straight into the episode.

Sarah: Did we miss something?

Eric: Well, there are some things that that I wanna go back to. We had some reviews that came in about a year ago, I guess, really, that I I don't recall seeing. So I don't well I do remember that. Kinda familiar. I think we got an email on 1 of them, but we haven't actually referenced the reviews.

So can we can we do those here?

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. Go for it.

Eric: Go for it. There's 2 of them. First 1 came from Tomorrow Salad underscore d, interesting name, and says, thanks for the podcast. I was a young teenager when this show originally aired, fell in love with Pierce, and I wanted to grow up to be Laura. I think a lot of women probably did.

Thanks for the podcast while I'm doing a rewatch. The thing I think is missing from the podcast are anecdotes from the actors and or directors on each episode. Just a suggestion. And, yeah, that would be great if we had access to that level of information. Unfortunately, we don't.

We are not in the industry. We don't have connections. No. And so, I mean, we've we've we've had a few a few guests join us on the show, and 1 of them was an actress from the show. But as far as as anecdotes from actors and directors, that's something that we're just we're just not in a position to do.

It would be great

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: But just not in a position. Anyway, then we got another review from Love Steel. And this 1 says, I recently found the steel watching podcast while while I spent my time at my mother's bedside while she was dying. The juxtaposition of running across this gym while waiting and waiting and waiting and being present for my mother was a gift. She loved Remington Steele as much as I do, and I know she listened along with me in her final days.

The show is the show I fell in love with as a child. Listening to others talk about the series is a novelty that came at the right time for me. Thank you for helping me get through some of the hardest days of my life. And I think we did mention this 1 because we got an email on this 1, but I did I just wanted to to acknowledge the the public review that they posted. So, yeah, that was very nice.

And then

Sarah: Yeah. I do remember that 1, and it is always nice to hear something like that because it just kind of, like, makes it it's more than just entertainment then at this point.

Eric: Like Yeah. You know? It's 1 of those good news, bad news, happy, sad things. You know? You're sad at that situation.

But

Sarah: Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Eric: But, you know, at least there was something that brought some momentary relief in in this person's life. So

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. Now and there is 1 other thing I wanted to mention that I found. I don't remember why I even started looking for this, and I wish I'd have found this at the time. Coffee, tea, or steel?

Sarah: Oh, yeah.

Eric: And I I know I ran across this. Oh, I know why I found this because it popped up on my feed in my Facebook.

Sarah: Right. Yeah.

Eric: And when I first saw it, it was like, no. Come on. It's not that no. Because the source of it was place I'd never heard of, and it came off as being like The Onion or something like that, you know, a parody site. But I did a little I said, okay.

Fine. I'll look at the article and then okay. I'll do a Google search, see if it comes up in other sources, and it did. And this is from a place called The Tab, which is a, according to them, media brand covering youth culture entertainment with a global audience for millions. Our London office is run by Gen Zs who specialize in news, hot takes, celebrity drama, lifestyles, and can spot a TikTok trend weeks before everyone else, blah blah blah blah.

So it seems to be a legit news site. The has exploded into 1 of the most influential brands for young people in The UK and The US covering everything from global politics to Netflix. In 2025, the tab launched the juiciest, funniest, pettiest news site for the reality TV possessed. And they have an article from 12/22/2025.

Sarah: Oh, that's fairly recent.

Eric: Passengers claim family put dead grandmother on easyJet flight and pretended she was asleep. What? Passengers have claimed a British family boarded their dead grandmother onto a flight and pretended she was asleep. Multiple people on the flight have spoken out and said they were concerned about the woman's health, and it's since been confirmed that she has passed away. On Thursday, prior to this article being written, this all began on a fly flight from Malaga to London, Gatwick.

Passengers on the flight claimed that an 89 year old woman was already dead when she boarded due to how she looked as she came aboard on a wheelchair. Petra, a well-being expert and personal trainer, has a TikTok channel where she posted about the incident. In a viral video, she said, easyJet, what were your ground staff thinking of today? They asked the family 5 times if this woman was okay. She was clearly not okay.

To the naked eye, she looked like she was already dead, slumped unconscious in a wheelchair.

Sarah: Oh my

Eric: So why would she be allowed on a flight and then disrupt everybody's plans? The mail online has reported that the woman was with 5 family members who told staff that she was unwell and had fallen asleep.

Sarah: The eternal sleep.

Eric: Yes. Petra has also spoken to the son and explained that the woman was wheeled down the aisle of a plane, looked fragile as her carriers surrounded her, was placed in an assistant seat with 2 carriers around her, and people turned in their seat and went, oh my god. She looks dead.

Sarah: Oh, wow. That's horrible. That is like, I don't mean to laugh, but, like, that's I'm not laughing. I'm laughing out of, like, sheer disbelief because

Eric: that's horrific. She she was a fragile old lady who was curled up and doubled over in a chair in a not very comfortable position. Anyone with eyes could see that she was not fit to fly, and and it wasn't just me that thought that. It was everybody else she went past. So yeah.

Wow.

Sarah: I mean, I've so I've flown with easyJet, and I can say that their standards for anything on those planes are not wonderful. So this doesn't really surprise me, frankly, because I flew EZ Jet from Glasgow to, Gatwick, I think it was. But yeah. Oof.

Eric: Oof. Wow. So maybe coffee coffee, steel, and and Yeah.

Sarah: Tea, and steel steel.

Eric: Wasn't so far matched

Sarah: after all. Wow. That's like that's that's full on weekend at Bernie's. Okay? That is full on weekend at Bernie's right there.

That's horrific. Like, that is really awful. And I I I feel really bad for anybody that I either a, had to see that or b, like, the family like, why would you oh, anyway. Okay. That's a whole other podcast.

Yeah. The only other thing I wanted to say, I don't know that we've had Will McKenzie as a director. I don't recall the name. So maybe my issues with this episode will stem with him. Because we have had John Wirth as a writer, and we've seen him many times before.

So the other thing I wanted to note was just that this episode features heavily, you know, with Russia and talks a lot about Russian, well, not Russian politics per se, but it does sort of touch on it. Mhmm. At the time, Gorbachev was in power, from 1985 until, the country's dissolution, 1991, the Soviet Union, as I as I call it in this episode. And he served as general secretary of the Communist Party from '85, additionally as head of state from 8088. And I ideologically, he initially adhered to Marxism and Leninism, but moved more towards social democracy by the 19 nineties, early 19 nineties.

So this was kind of like a thawing of, like, the Cold War when relationships between The US and Russia and other places in Russia sort of began to start to thaw, like, not fully, obviously, but they were on their way, I think. Gorbachev was a major factor in that. So, I mean, I don't wanna get into any other politics with with Russia beyond that, but it just was worth noting, in in terms of, like, I think how they handle the episode, particularly even Ivan's character because, usually, they're the Russians in in these earlier films are the villains and and stuff like that. So I just thought that was an interesting thing to note. Also, we we went skating earlier today, and I I told you this before we started recording.

I may or may not have a concussion. So anything I say, I can't you can't hold it against me.

Eric: Sure. We can.

Sarah: Injury. Because I I actually slipped, and I fell, and I hit my head. Helmets, people. I was wearing 1, and that possibly saved my my noggin. So wear your helmet when you skate or bike ride or anything like that.

But we we went skating with my daughters.

Eric: Have a helmet? Use bubble wrap.

Sarah: We went skating with my daughter's friend, Mika, who's a a boy. She's in grade 4, and he's in grade 5, and they've been friends since last year when they did a play together. And he's from Russia. Their family has been in, Canada for 2 years now. And we were talking a little bit about it, and I mentioned because we were talking about hockey, and he was telling me about how the like, even though Russian hockey players are some of the best hockey players in the world, they don't have the same hockey infrastructure that Canada has, which I found really interesting and probably speaks to them even more because, like, if they don't even even have the same infrastructure, but they're still pumping out some of the best players, like, good on you.

So Mhmm. Yeah. So I was getting a little bit of, more of an understanding of what Russia is like now, which was kind of interesting because, like I said And

Eric: then she fell on her head.

Sarah: Then I fell and I hit my head. I really did. Because it was a I was saying it's a path. It's a winding path, and I couldn't see the path because there was snow on the ice. And I went right off the path and slipped, and I hit my head, and now I'm injured.

So, anyway

Eric: And this is her big, long winded excuse for why she is going to sound like a nutcase today.

Sarah: No. It's not, actually. It's I went with the TV guide synopsis, and this TV Guide synopsis is also gonna be part of the reason why I have issues with this episode. Why I went with it, because I wanna just open with this. Okay.

A spoiled roly poly importer must locate a missing shipment of freshened caviar before the president of the company, his father, returns from abroad. I really hate when fat jokes are made at the expense of a person in film and TV. I don't think they're funny. I don't think it's I I think it's mean spirited. I don't it's comedy punching down.

I get it if, like, I've seen his some of his stand up comedy, and he freely makes fun of himself. But a lot of the time, I think that's a a defense mechanism, especially for if you've got a a stand up comedian who is overweight. They'll often say, well, I'll be the first 1 to say it so that when everybody else does, it it looks like I don't mind. And I don't I don't know what his frame of mind is or his opinion about his weight was, but it just feels I don't know. It feels cheap.

It doesn't it doesn't feel like there's other things you could like, he's supposed be spoiled and whiny and, like, that's the lean into that. Like, I don't think we need to be mocking people's bodies. And we I've had issues with this the whole way through because Laura keeps saying she needs to lose 5 pounds, and come on.

Eric: No. Needs to put on about 5 pounds.

Sarah: Pounds. Not saying that Louis Anderson wasn't overweight or that he shouldn't, you know, have been trying to. I don't know what his health situation is. It's not my business. I don't, you know, feel the need to comment on people's bodies, but clearly, the media does, and I just don't love it.

So that's part of it's even in the synopsis. Right? I don't

Eric: Is it in the synopsis? Yeah.

Sarah: A roly poly a spoiled roly poly importer.

Eric: Okay. That's the TV guide. The

Sarah: original Yeah. The the TV guide synopsis is what I meant. It's even in that.

Eric: Because the original, Remington Steele production synopsis and by the way, all these come from Judith Moose's book, Steele Loved After All These Years. So just a shout out to Judith. Because the original synopsis that that they used internally at least, spoiled bungling Bingham Parrott, the son of a wealthy caviar importer, tries to do business without daddy, and a menacing Russian begins tailing him. Bing then turns to Laura in Remington to save his hide and bail him out of a brewing international blowup. So Yeah.

Sarah: Spoiled and bungling is better than roly poly, but I use that TV guide synopsis specifically for the purpose of highlighting. Like, it's even in the TV guide that, you know Yeah. He's fat, so it's funny. Ugh. I don't love it.

Eric: Okay. Why do I wanna break into Weird Al?

Sarah: He's fat. I'm fat. I'm fat.

Eric: I'm really, really fat.

Sarah: So, yeah, we've got the opening scene. We begin in the supermarket, and we see his character being in a large trench coat and sunglasses. And I will admit, that's funny.

Eric: Nothing says a Tuscanoe good glasses. More than wearing a trench coat and dark glasses

Sarah: at night. Yeah. Especially when you're it's not yeah. It's like, if you're if you're not Corey Hart, you're not allowed to do it without looking suspicious. That's just the way it works.

I don't make the rules. That's how it is. So, yeah. He's in his trench coat and sunglasses. He's looking for something.

Eventually, he finds it, which is a display of caviar. He goes over to it, grabs all of it off the display, and puts it in his cart. It's basically, the cart is literally full of caviar. And I'm guessing this is a more upscale supermarket. It's not the kind of supermarket where there's like a limit on how much you can buy because he buys it all.

So, yeah. He's, he's at the cash register, and the cashier trying to do the thing that cashiers are supposed to do, you know, make casual conversation as if he's having a party. And this is where the, like, the first line, none of your business. If that's what the direction if that's what the director wanted, I hate him.

Eric: Well, we don't we don't have we don't have a copy of the script that I was able to find.

Sarah: No. I couldn't find 1

Eric: either. But don't know what the script direction was, but yes.

Sarah: But just the none of your biz like, you I don't know. He could have said it any other way, but he chose to sound like my 9 year old. You know? And then the bag boy asks paper or plastic, and he who cares? Like, we're 30 seconds in, and I want to shoot him.

I just yeah. Anyway. Yeah. So the cashier tells him his total is $2,347.82. How how Wow.

Eric: How did he pay this? Because he didn't use very many bills. And given that the the amount is $2,347 and he gets back 18¢ Yeah. That means he gave the cashier $2,348. And given that he only had a couple of bills in that that collection that he handed her

Sarah: Yeah. I don't know.

Eric: I'm thinking he had to have at least $1,000 bill in there, which is a problem.

Sarah: Yeah. They I would think most places wouldn't take that. Well, I'm I'm not sure they gave you that far. Eighties. Maybe not.

Eric: I'm not sure it would even get that far. Legal $1,000 bills do exist or did exist as legal tender, but they were obsoleted and last printed in 1945. This continued for general circulation by 1969 due to lack of use and concerns over money laundering and had been used primarily for large bank to bank transactions. So where did he get these? I mean, they they might have been worth more than the face value Yeah.

That's if they're collectors items. You know?

Sarah: Yeah. Who you know?

Eric: He did he go in to get into daddy's office and and take some of his his money that he has hidden away? Because, you know, daddy's been hiding money. Stop

Sarah: saying daddy, please. She she offers him, like you said, 18¢ change, and then treat yourself. Really, dude? Really?

Eric: I mean, even back in 1985, 18¢ wouldn't buy much. Yeah. No. That's I'm not sure it would buy a piece of penny bubble gum.

Sarah: I do like the irritated look that she has on her face like that just right. Okay. And then how she puts it over on the register and just kind of like glares at him. I I felt that in my soul as somebody who has done that job. You know?

So we then see him walking out of the store with his cart full of caviar. He takes it up to this is a Rolls Royce. Right?

Eric: No. I don't know what that is. I I tried to look it up. To me, it there's elements I I I'm I'm thinking it's a custom made cart. There's elements of it that look a little bit like an old cord.

The tailpipes coming out of the side of the the the hood Right. Sheet metal and such, and the spare tire covered with the with the casing there. But the rest of it doesn't look right, so I don't know. I I tried to figure out what it is. I can't figure it out.

It looks like there is a badge of some sort on the front grille, but it's it's at such an angle and in the corner of the shot that I can't really tell.

Sarah: Knows. Send us a message. Send us an email. Send it. Let us know what what kind of car this is because I

Eric: I'm thinking yeah. Not only is it a custom build, but he's got a refrigerator in the trunk.

Sarah: Yeah. That was, like because he yeah. He I I have that. He opens it. There seems to be some kind of active freezer in the trunk.

Eric: Dry ice

Sarah: or something. It looks like dry ice. We see it already has a ton of caviar in it. Yeah. He begins to start putting that caviar in it when a man approaches him.

He looks scared, throws the cart at the man, and jumps into the car. The man jumps onto the runner of the car, but he shakes him off, and he gets away. So then we switch over to Steele's apartment. They're sitting on his couch. This is again I think she might be wearing the same red blouse that she was wearing in steel on the air, and her hair is way too overdone.

Eric: And Oh, yes.

Sarah: It's a it's a shame because

Eric: And so is her makeup almost.

Sarah: Yeah. I it it's funny because I like that blouse. I do. Mhmm. But the problem is when they do the makeup as severely as they're doing it and they do her hair up like that, it all overpowers it, and it just all looks, like, way too much.

If they had just had her in the blouse with her hair normal and her makeup normal, that blouse would look fantastic on her. But everything else, it just looks like way too much.

Eric: Stephanie should only be treated as the girl next door. So when you're going to, quote, glam her up, it needs to be girl next door glam. Subtle.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah. It it's not a model runway,

Sarah: glamorous magazine. On an episode of dynasty here, and it's just not

Eric: It does not fit her. It does not fit her.

Sarah: Doesn't suit her. So she goes to take a bite of something, and then Steele stops her, telling her it will cloud the palate. He is holding a bottle of champagne that is obviously very important, or he says it's very important. Laura asks what about it is so important, and he tells her it was given to him by a very special friend in Cyprus in '73. Was that when he was Stavros?

It was well. Cyprus is not Greek in Greece. Am I or is my geography terrible?

Eric: It would have to be. Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah. So I'm I'm wondering. I wanna know more about what happened there. He's because he might be

Eric: 1 Was of the pieces of cargo that floated away from the shift when they

Sarah: were Yeah. Because he he says it was given to him by a friend, so maybe it was from Marcos Androcos. Right? Like, the the smuggler. He says in '73, and then he wonders if it was maybe '74 and tells her he had to leave suddenly.

But then he says he had to leave suddenly because the Cyprians decided to stage a coup. So I I don't even know if there was a coup in Cyprus in 1974. I I guess I should have googled that. Was there a coup in Cyprus? I'm right now.

In 1974. Yeah. There was. Military coup d'etat sponsored by the Greek military Junta was executed.

Eric: Junta. Isn't it?

Sarah: Junta. Sorry. I don't know. I I I I I yeah. I don't know.

It was executed by the Cypriot National Guard on 07/15/1974. The coup plotters removed the sitting president of Cyprus, sorry, Archbishop Makarios the third. And if I am mispronouncing anything, I deeply apologize to anybody who's from Greece or is Greek, from office and installed pro Enocious Nationalist Nikos Samson. So there was a coup. Mhmm.

So he's saying he was there and, you know, that's why he had to leave. Yeah. Laura interrupts him and tells him to pop the cork. Obviously, not in the mood. I love this.

I love that, like, in the past, she would have been eager for any tidbit of information that he could give her about her his past. Anything that

Eric: Now just shut up before the booze.

Sarah: Yeah. Now she's just like, right. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

I don't care. I don't care.

Eric: Shut up and pour the booze.

Sarah: This is how far they've come. Right? He's offering her some information on some exciting adventure that he was on back then in '73 or '74, you know, about his mysterious past. And she's like, yeah, whatever. Just pop a cork.

Oh, it's nice. It's nice to see this part of Laura.

Eric: She wants those tiny bubbles in

Sarah: the wine. He's about to do so when there's a loud knocking at the door, and Laura sarcastically wonder wonders if it's the return of the Cypriots, but instead, it's someone calling for help. We hear the voice yelling that they're trying to kill him, and Laura and Steele get up. And honestly, they should have just left him out there, but whatever. They get up, and they go to open the door.

And Bing barges in and shoves Steele out of the way, grabbing Laura and shaking her, telling her that she is his only hope, and he would get down on his knees if it wasn't so much trouble getting back up.

Eric: Why did he I think it's interesting that yes. Why did he go straight to Laura and just ignore him? I mean, his name is on the agency. His face is on the agency. It's a weird unnamed woman.

Sarah: It's a weird directorial choice for because he he literally shoves steel out of the way, so it's not like he didn't see him. Mhmm. So why I don't know.

Eric: On the other hand, given my choice you

Sarah: know? I mean, true. But, like yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I it's 1 of the many mysteries concerning Yes. Bingham Perrette, but here we are. Laura demands to know who he is, and he tells her Bingham Perrette or Bing to his friends. Before they have a chance to respond, he turns, and then he starts shaking steel, demanding to know if they locked the door. Steele pushes him off and tells him to calm down and asks who was trying to kill him.

He shoves his way through the 2 of them, goes over to Steele's balcony, beckoning them to follow. They do, and he points down at the man from earlier and says, him. Steele asks why, and he simply says, caviar. Laura is confused. Steele pulls him over and asks, how did you find us, mister Perrette?

He insists they call him Bing and tells them he called their office, and the nice lady gave them their address. And he said he was in the neighborhood. Mildred, are you deliberately trying to sabotage them?

Eric: How many times I mean, they've already had this conversation with her, I think, or they they should have multiple times because there's been so many times that she's just been so free with their location. And Yeah. Worse worse, It's 1 thing to say, well, he's over at this restaurant having dinner, blah blah blah. You know? That's 1 thing.

But to give them their address for their personal residence, no. No. No. No. No.

No. No. You don't do that. I realize that as a former IRS agent, she doesn't have any kind of respect for privacy, but but still, I mean, come on.

Sarah: Ouch. I'm assuming that he said it was life or death, and that's why she did it. But either way

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: She's constantly interrupting their dates too. Right? Like, she

Eric: and she's trying true too. Like

Sarah: come on, Laura or Mildred. Sorry. That's not cool. Come on. So, yeah, endangering their lives also ruining their date.

Eric: Yes.

Sarah: Double whammy. Steele tells Laura they have to talk to Mildred, and Bing says that they have to help him, insisting that his life is at stake, and money is no object. He holds up fist full of money, to which Steele smiles broadly and tells him, he'll be right back.

Eric: Yeah. Show me the money.

Sarah: Yeah. I mean, obviously, he has his methods. Money works. Steel leaves. Laura tells him to lock the door as he runs outside, and she follows.

Outside the apartment, Steele tells her he'll check the alley and they split up. So we see Steele walk up to a large hedge and look around it only to be hit on the head by the man from earlier, who we later find out is we would pronounce it in North America as Ivan, but he corrects her and tells her Ivan. So that's Ivan. So that's how I'm going to pronounce it. He falls to the ground, but Ivan is then hit from behind by another man, and he falls down beside Steele.

The second man goes through the first men's or Yvonne's pockets, and Laura runs as Laura comes around the corner. And she sees him, he runs, and Laura approaches the 2 just as Steele begins to set up. Sit up. Sorry. Laura helps him up asking who the man was.

The man moans, go dear, and Laura asks, Russian? They hear a noise that sounds like a gunshot, and she calls out mister Perrette. Steele yells Bing, and they run back up the stairs to find Bing in Steele's living room, drinking his special champagne and a hole in his window.

Eric: He laughed. Absolutely no sense of boundary.

Sarah: No. And I maybe this is why this irritates me so much because he just I I don't I don't have much patience for spoiled rich people. Mhmm. I especially don't have much patience redundant. Well, okay.

Fair. But I I especially don't have much patience for people that don't, like, take responsibility for their actions or care about how their actions affect others and and simply think that they can just waive off whatever with a check.

Eric: They have no respect for other people. And it's

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: And And it's demonstrated in how they not only interact with them, but just how they treat their property, what they think of their property.

Sarah: This. Yeah.

Eric: You know? Oh, you got some champagne here. I'll just take some of that. Yeah. Because I'm being perette.

Sarah: It's it's not his and then he just says put it on his bill, but if if if this really was something special that Steele had been saving, it wouldn't matter how much it cost because that wouldn't be the loss. The loss would not be the money. The loss would be the thing that he had been saving to share with Laura or whatever. Like, that's what I think bothers me. It's just this complete lack of, giving a crap about people's stuff.

And just, you know, so, yeah, he says, the cork had a mind of its own to put it on his bill. Steele is speechless as they go over to the balcony and big ass if they found the guy. Steele sees the Yvonne downstairs, stumbling away, and he says he found him. He goes to sit down, and Laura asks why he's being followed by someone from Russia. Bing drops the bottle he's holding through the glass side table, completely shattering it.

Now, I don't know if this would actually shatter the side table because I I have glass tables, and my glass tables are a lot thicker than this. But

Eric: Well, generally

Sarah: You know, they're just going for

Eric: The glass yeah. They're just going for the visual effect because Yeah. In furniture, tabletops, end tables, whatever, when you have glass, it's generally a safety glass.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: It's laminated so that that it's not going to shatter like this.

Sarah: No. Because that would be a real safety hazard. You know? Yeah. Just take your cup of tea down and it's gone.

Eric: Yeah. So yeah. I think it's just for the visual effect.

Sarah: Yeah. He winces and then tells Steele, just put it on his bill. Steele stands up enraged, and Laura gets between them, but it doesn't matter. He grabs Bing by the lapel with Laura in between saying, Bing is a menace to life, love, and property, and I agree, and Laura should have just let him have it. Let him just take him out.

End of the episode, but, hey, whatever.

Eric: Well

Sarah: sadly This is where I have

Eric: an issue with Laura here as well, so go ahead.

Sarah: No. I was just gonna say, sadly, she does. She gets in between them.

Eric: Mhmm. Yeah. Well, carry on.

Sarah: She pushes steel off him and says, nevertheless, he's their client. No. When did they agree to this? Yeah.

Eric: He hasn't paid them a retainer. They haven't formally accepted the case. He's just simply come in and said, help me. They're trying to kill me. Oh, and I'm I'm ruining your apartment, but help me.

They're trying to kill me. No agreement's been made.

Sarah: I think Laura unilaterally unilaterally made the agreement when she saw all the money in his hand.

Eric: Which would be funny because it's usually steel that would

Sarah: do that. Yeah.

Eric: Well And, of course, when he saw the money, he his eyes did light up a bit. You know?

Sarah: Yeah. But now he's he's fully willing to kill this man because he's come into his apartment and just started, like, human wrecking ball destroying it. Right?

Eric: So He'd stuff his body somewhere place it would never be found if they could find the place.

Sarah: Yeah. Exactly. She then asked what the Russians have to do with caviar. We switch over scenes into a warehouse where Bing shows them crates and crates full of Bulgarian ball bearings. He says that his family is in the caviar business, and this was supposed to be 1000000 dollar shipment of Russian caviar.

He asked them if this looks like fish eggs to them. Have you ever tried caviar? Because I have not. No. And I No.

I have not. Say I have any desire to.

Eric: No. Me either.

Sarah: And not even because it's fish eggs. It's it's more to do with the the look and what I imagine the texture to be. It looks like it's slimy, and it looks like it's Mhmm. Yeah. I'm no.

Thanks.

Eric: No. No.

Sarah: No. But, apparently, rich people like it. So, hey.

Eric: Or they say they

Sarah: Yeah. True. It's probably 1 of those things where, you know, you don't want to appear unsophisticated. You're just like, yes. Caviar.

Delicious. I don't know why I became British there, but, hey. Laura suggests that they stop payment on the check, but he tells him it's too late as it was paid 4 months ago. Steele asks if anything like this has ever happened before. Bing tells them, you don't mess around with the king of caviar.

Steele repeats that dubiously, and Bing tells him that his family has had an exclusive contract with the Russians for 100 years. He says, if you live in The United States and you want Russian caviar, you come to me. That is if daddy's busy. There is something about hearing a grown man say, daddy, that is deeply disturbing, and it's not going to stop being disturbing. It's just gross.

Anyway, Laura asked if he contacted the authorities, and Bing says, of course he has. He's been trying to get through to Denisovich all day. Laura repeats the name, and he tells her Denisovich is the commissar of caviar. Are these act they're not real titles. Correct?

Or Well

Eric: they? Think I I think commissar is just the Russian word for commissioner. And, I mean, I haven't looked it up, but I I believe that's the case. And it wouldn't surprise me. I mean, caviar

Sarah: formal title. I just googled it.

Eric: Caviar is a big commodity or used to be at least a big commodity out of Russia. And, you know, it's got this reputation, which they allude to here in in the episode of being the finest caviar in the world. And so, yeah, I can see that they would have a commissar of caviar.

Sarah: Yeah. K. I literally just googled it. And I've got commissar of caviar isn't a formal title, but refers to Kemp Tully's memoir, Caviar and Commissars, the experience of a US naval officer in Stalin's Russia, detailing his diplomatic life while also alluding to Soviet officials like Anastas Mikoyan, a trade commissioner sorry, a trade commissar known for dealings with Armand Hammer involving Soviet luxury goods like Faberge and caviar. The phrase captures the blend of luxury and Soviet authority that during the era contrasting high end delicacies with communist officials.

So technically not an official thing, but, like, officially unofficial kind of thing. Yeah. Looks like. So, yeah. Steele says, and?

And Bing replies that, well, he was in a meeting. As he says this, the phone rings. When nobody moves, Laura asks if he should answer it as it may be Russia calling. He opens and closes the briefcase with the phone in a there's a phone in a briefcase again.

Eric: Yep.

Sarah: Yep. Before answering it in an offensively bad Japanese accent. So here we have, you know, some fun casual racism here. Mister Barrett, not here. So sorry.

Ugh. Gross. He then laughs and says, hi, daddy, in his regular voice. Tells him he was just kidding with him, and the shipment did come in. He has that he's looking at it right now.

I guess he's not lying in anything he just said.

Eric: He is he the shipment did come in. He is looking at it. It's just that what it contains was what it was supposed to be.

Sarah: Not what it was supposed to be. Correct. He listens and then tells Steele and Laura he's in Sri Lanka already, and he will be home before he knows it. He listens again and says, we're not. I know you told me not to have any parties.

Again, he's 30 he's 33. He's supposed to be a lot younger? Is am I

Eric: missing something? He's a whining crybaby because he's an entitled spoiled brat who was raised to be an entitled spoiled brat. I mean, that's how he was raised, and that's what he is.

Sarah: Yeah. And that's what he will always be. And then collapses to the ground crying. Steel helps him up and tells him to straighten up, pull himself together, chin up, chest out, and belly, well, close enough again. Yay.

Fat jokes. Yeah. Laura asks mister Parrott, who who corrects her with Bing, what he wants them to do. He says, he doesn't know, and then adds, go to Russia? She says, they can't go to Russia.

He then tells them that they are sponsoring a charity polo match the day after tomorrow, and he has to have his caviar by then. Steele asks him with any luck, he will. And if he doesn't, he's sure the charity people will understand. Bing tells him they don't understand. This polo match is the most important sales event for the company.

All their buyers will be there. No caviar. No business. No business. Bye bye, Bing.

He adds that daddy will have him for breakfast. Laura tells Steele it looks as if they have their work cut out for them, Steele agrees all before daddy gets home. Laura tells Bing it would be a good idea if he stayed with mister Steele tonight. Does she hate him? Like, does she

Eric: I've got once again, Laura volunteers Steele to be a target. Because not only does he have to deal with with Bing, who is a I mean, a bull in a china shop would appear delicate compared to him.

Sarah: Oh, yeah.

Eric: But but he's also gonna have to deal with the people who are after him, potentially killers.

Sarah: Yeah. So

Eric: it's it's it's a 2 for 1 for Laura. Yep.

Sarah: Bing insists he can't because he has to have publicity photos taken in the polo match the following day. Laura tells him that mister Steele will go with him, and Steele pulls her aside reminding her that the man nearly destroyed his apartment and suggests they put him in a hotel as they are insured for this sort of thing.

Eric: Well, they may be insured, but they're still gonna bill you. Yeah. I mean, you think about in the sixties and the seventies and and even into the February, all the rock stars who destroyed hotel rooms, they paid for those.

Sarah: Oh, for sure. I mean, but the the thing is they didn't care because they had the money. Right? So they'd go in and they destroy the hotel, and then they pay for it. But it was again, this is that

Eric: time of play. That the insurance wasn't made responsible for it.

Sarah: No. That's why a lot of people have to put down a deposit now because if there's damage, then it's not returned.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: Laura tells him that wouldn't solve the problem. And if it were a woman, she would be expected to stay with her, which

Eric: Of course, she might expect a woman to stay with him.

Sarah: I mean, Laura's not wrong. She took in Rocky and and Tony and Terry and whatnot, but, like, this still I mean Yeah. Steel looks at Bing who smiles hopefully and says he has the sinking feeling he's going to regret this. And, yeah, Steele, you are.

Eric: Oh, of course.

Sarah: Back at his apartment, we see a man watching I think it's still Yvonne watching Steele and Bing through his window using binoculars.

Eric: It's not Yvonne.

Sarah: It's not? Sorry. Okay. My bad. It's the guy that kicked Yvonne.

The right. That's right. It's, yeah. My bad. Deal is giving Bing a dustpan to sweep up the glass from the table he broke.

Bing kneels down to do so unaware they're being watched and says that, the phone call from daddy sorry. Go ahead.

Eric: Why okay. Couple of problems. First of all, why isn't the floor showing any signs of dampness? They've broken a champagne bottle. Even after an hour or 2, you'd see some evidence of moisture.

And then second of all, why is steel walking around in bare feet in a place where there may be glass shards?

Sarah: Thought that too. I thought that too. I was like, that's not the best idea there, steel. Maybe put on some shoes. But, yeah.

Good good good questions. Good questions. No no answers, but good questions.

Eric: You sound like a teacher.

Sarah: I don't

Eric: know the answer, but it's a good question.

Sarah: Yeah. That's a good question. I'll get back to you.

Eric: And then you never do. Yeah.

Sarah: No. Of course not. Bing says that, that phone call from daddy, that was Bing just putting him on, a little game they play. Steele sarcastically says he got that from the phone call. Bing tells Steele that just between the 2 of them, he's the king now.

Daddy has gone a little senile. He says everyone wants him to put him away, but he won't do it. He says he loves that man.

Eric: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Does he really think anybody's buying that story?

Sarah: I mean I'm guessing no. And here's the problem that I have with it, because we're supposed to eventually sympathize with Bing, and I just don't. Because I I

Eric: Oh, no. No. Are we supposed to sympathize with Bing? I don't think so. I I certainly don't.

I can't imagine how anybody could possibly sympathize with this guy other than the fact that his dad treats him like a worthless piece of, you know, annoyance. Well yeah. But that's it. As far as how he deals with other people is how Bing deals with other people, no. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for him.

As far as the situations he gets himself into because he's a spoiled brat, no. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for him.

Sarah: My point is that that had this been rited rited, see

Eric: this head injury. You you you as a teacher of English.

Sarah: Injury. Had this been written.

Eric: How how long are you gonna use that as an excuse?

Sarah: As long as I as long as I can. As long as I need to. Had this been written with any kind of nuance, any kind of, you know, depth or anything like that, had this been written as anything other than a bunch of fat jokes strung together with a completely obnoxious character Mhmm. You could have snuck in some of these moments of vulnerability and had them work because this is supposed to be a moment of vulnerability. We're supposed to see through Bing's boasts about how, you know, daddy is not really in charge anymore.

He is, and he just loves him too much. We're supposed to see the insecurity and the vulnerability and, you know, everything else that you just said. We're supposed to see that, but I don't because the rest of it is just so obnoxious and so completely odious. We're going so hard

Eric: for the laugh that we've Yeah. We've left off the subtlety.

Sarah: That they've they've left out that ability to feel for the character because later on as well when they're changing and and Bing gives that whole speech to Laura. Again, we're supposed I know we're supposed to sympathize with him. That's Mhmm. The the intention, but they don't give us any point elsewhere in the episode to give a crap about him. So when we have that moment, it it's unearned.

It doesn't get earned at all. And that's

Eric: And it's unrewarded.

Sarah: Yeah. Exactly. So there the the subtlety is lacking here, and that's partly the problem with this. He tells Steele that's why he has to promise that he won't find out about this little glitch. Steele sits down watching Bing clean up the floor and tells him eventually to leave it and get some sleep.

Bing does so saying he is a little bushed. He gets up and steel pats the couch, indicating that Bing is to sleep there. Bing lays down on the couch, but because he's so big, he promptly rolls right off. Again, this is, like Mhmm. I mean, literally, is done just for the physical pratfall joke of he's fat and he can't fit on the couch.

That's not funny to me. I don't I don't know. It it may be funny to other people, but for me, I'm like, I don't I don't get where we're supposed to like, there are a lot of places in this world that are not designed for larger people. Mhmm. And watching them struggle with that is I don't know.

It's not. I don't find the humor in that. So, anyway, he pulls the coffee table over against the couch, attempts to roll over again, knocking things off in the process. Steele suggests he take the bed, and he will take the couch. Bing agrees.

That's a good idea. He goes into the bedroom and says, oh, what a bed, mister Steele. Steele says, thanks. And a moment later, a crash is heard with Bing saying, put it on my bill.

Eric: Yeah. I'm sorry. That bed wouldn't have collapsed.

Sarah: I don't think the bed collapsed. I think he knocked something over or he broke something. Oh. Like like a vase or something on the

Eric: side of the table. I always heard it as the bed supposedly collapsing.

Sarah: Oh, well, if they are, there's another It's a fat joke. He can't even lay on a bed without breaking it. So funny. Ugh. Gross.

Still winces before going to sleep. At the office, Mildred comes into Laura's office to find her sitting at her desk surrounded by papers. She asks how she's doing, and Laura says that Bing's company has used the same shipping line for years, but this was the first time the caviar has gone through Bulgaria. She wonders suddenly why they changed routes. She then checks her watch and tells Mildred to try and get through to Denisovich in the Soviet Union.

Mildred asks who he is, and Laura tells him the Commissar of Caviar. She tells Mildred she wants to know who instructed the caviar to go through Bulgaria. She stands up and goes over the filing cabinet. She looks fantastic here in this fedora and the whole that outfit is great. Big thumbs up to that outfit.

Mildred asked where she's going, and she tells her the polo field. She adds that once again, mister Steele has gotten the easier part of the assignment.

Eric: You know, I sometimes think that Laura seriously fails to appreciate how difficult Steele's job can be. True. You know, in this particular case, the difficulty is not what you would typically expect. But, I mean, dealing with a spoiled brat, worse, a spoiled brat who's supposed to be a full grown, responsible adult, that's not an easy job. And some of the other stuff that he's had to deal with that Laura has just simply dismissed as something simple and easy while she was doing the hard work, He he's he's I'm sorry.

He's gotten hit on the head a lot of times doing stuff that was supposed to be the easy job.

Sarah: True. She may still be ticked off about the whole plane thing Well, that's okay. You know, had to serve him.

Eric: He Well, that

Sarah: could be too. Trevor Keech. But no. You're right. I do think that you're right in the sense that she does often assume that he's getting the easier side of things.

And sometimes he is. In this case, dealing with Bing, I think that I'm firmly on the no. Steel is not getting the easier side of things. However, he is in Laura's Laura probably sees it as he's schmoozing with rich people at a polo field.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: That's Yeah.

Eric: Likely his interest. Remember, he and he and was it Andrew? No. Prince Valiant. Whoever it was, you know, gets together for Polo ever so

Sarah: often, please. Yeah. Yeah. Prince prince Charles, he Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: Sure.

Eric: Right.

Sarah: But he's not on the horse yet, because this is Bing struggling to get on the horse. Someone has to help. He shoos them away. Photographers are waiting, and he struggles to get on. Eventually, he gets on, and the horse whinnies in protest because, again, fat people are hilarious.

Like, I don't know. I just this drives me up the wall. Because it's not just once. It's repeated throughout the entire episode. And I don't know how Louie Anderson felt about it, but I can only imagine how anybody else who is his size or similarly built watching this and going, oh, yeah.

That's funny. It's not. As he sits up on the horse, a man comes out and tells him that there's a phone call. He asks why they waited for him to get up there to tell him that, which mean, I just got out

Eric: there. When a phone call comes in, the phone call comes in. Yeah. It's not a matter of, oh, he's getting on a horse. We're gonna wait and tell him after he gets on the horse so he has to get back down to get Exactly.

Sarah: Yeah. Bing asks if it's daddy. The man doesn't know. So Bing sighs and tells the photographer to take the picture. He does.

And Bing tells him to get him down. They help him down. And as soon as he's on the ground, someone calls his name. He turns, and he's greeted by a man in a friendly voice calling him Marty. Sorry.

He calls the other man Marty. They shake hands, and Marty tells Bing he's looking robust. He introduces himself to Steele as Martin Rome, and Steele uses the Trevor Keetch identity. Bing tells him that Marty owns Rome's Caviar Emporiums. He says they are 1 of their biggest customers.

Bing tells Marty that Steele is a new sales rep, and Marty asked him if he's a polo player. Steele says he's played once or twice in his time, and Marty expresses an eagerness to go head to head tomorrow. Bing says, why do you think I hired him? They begin to walk, and Marty tells Bing he put in a call to his father. Bing does not like that, and Marty continues by saying that there's no ref this is no reflection on Bing, but his father promised he would have his caviar last week.

Now here it is the middle of that week, and he has yet to see an egg. He says he needs the caviar by tomorrow afternoon, and if he doesn't get it, he will have to make other arrangements. He gestures to Steele saying, tomorrow then. And Steele says he'll be there with spurs on. I don't know if they still use spurs, but okay.

Eric: Well, sir, I I would maybe in, like, cattle ranching or something like that, they might.

Sarah: I don't think they'd use them at polo, though.

Eric: But, yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, I don't think they should have polo, though.

Sarah: Not really. But maybe this is just another 1 of those steel doesn't understand sports, but then he does know how to play polo because we see him playing it. Yeah. So

Eric: And he's played with Charles, and you don't play with Charles unless you know how to play Yeah.

Sarah: Exactly. Once he's out of earshot, Bing says he's dead. D e a dead. D e a d dead. I would have loved to hear him misspell it.

That would have been funny to me. Right? Like, that would have been

Eric: D e d e e dead. Yes.

Sarah: Something like that. Yeah. Because, like, it it would like, Homer Simpson. I am so smart. SMRT.

That would be amusing to me. My my mother used to say and and this was because of my great grandmother. I'm not really sure how it came about, but we were getting ready for bed, she used to tell us to get ready for b r b, which is not how you spell bed. But my great grandmother didn't I don't I don't think she had much of an education. And so for whatever reason, she said b r p, and that's it became a thing.

But, yeah, d e a d dead would have been funnier if it was like d e d dead. Steel tells Bing not to go nutters on him now. He begins to wonder what daddy would do and then realizes that daddy is on the phone. He goes running off to talk to him just as Laura pulls up in the rabbit. Laura tell like, we don't see him hop the fence, but he must have.

He like, I'm glad they didn't make that a joke too, because I was expecting him to go and hop over the fence, but not quite make it. And then yeah. No. Laura tells him the paperwork was driving her crazy, so she thought she'd come down there and get some fresh air. She asked where Bing went.

Steele tells her that daddy was on the phone. In the barn, we see Bing looking for the phone when he hears someone going from a horse stall. He finds him and asks where the phone is. The man tells him that he's Vladimir Demise Demise Dniecevich. Dniecevich.

Dniecevich. Bing From Russia? Begins to strangle him. Yeah. They fall to the ground as Bing demands to know where his caviar is.

Dniecevich You communist? I will say that's funny. But, first, he has to give him 1,000,000 American dollars. Bing is the he already paid him, but then he tells him that he paid the Soviet government. He gets up and he hands Bing his card and says if he wants Caviar to call him, they will have lunch.

He leaves, but he doesn't get very far as he stopped by, Ivan from last night who tells him to freeze. He has a gun. Outside, Laura and Steele watches the car pulls up, and 2 men in expensive suits get out. Laura comments on them, and Steele says Brooks Brothers, I'd say. I like that.

They head to the door of

Eric: the box. Know, what first of all, what's the big deal about Brooks Brothers? And second of all, are their suits really so distinctive that from across, like, 20 yards away, you could look at it and say, oh, Brooks Brothers. I I I don't buy it.

Sarah: I don't know if they are, but it just this reminds me of, like, Die Hard. There's, like, a scene when they're in the elevator, Hans Gruber and the Japanese guy that he kills, Togaki. Togaki. Sorry. And he he sees his suit, and he says, nice suit.

And he says the name of the designer, which I is I can't remember now, possibly because of the head injury. He says he says, I have 2 myself. And so I think it's just 1 of those, like, rich people recognizing other rich people sort of thing. Mhmm. That kind of like, oh, I recognize where you're I don't know.

But it it does. I just Googled it because I was curious. The company was founded in 1818. At the age of 45, Harry Henry Sands Brooks opened H and D H Brooks and Company on the Northeast Corner Of Catherine Street and Cherry Street, Manhattan. He proclaimed his guiding principle was to make and deal only in merchandise of the finest body to sell it at a fair profit and deal with people who seek and appreciate such merchandise.

So it sounds that initially it was meant to just be like reasonably priced suits. But in 1833, his 4 sons, Alicia, Daniel, Edward, and John inherited the family business. And in 1850 renamed the company Brooks Brothers. The golden fleece symbol was adopted as a company's trademark in 1850. A woolly sheep suspended in ribbon had long been a symbol of British woolen merchants.

So then they kind of like started with introducing ready to wear suits to American customers. And then eventually, Abraham Lincoln considered he was a was a loyal customer. And so he wore a suit specially crafted at his second inauguration by the Brooks Brothers. Hand stitched into the coat's lining was the design featuring an eagle in the inscription 1 country, 1 destiny. So I'm guessing it's like 1 of those, like, marks of, I don't know, wealth and status, etcetera.

Eric: Yeah. I just I just can't I just can't buy the theory that from 20 yards yards away, you can look at somebody's suit and say, oh, Brooks Brothers.

Sarah: Yeah. By 1971, though, 11 Brooks Brothers stores were in operation and located in Manhattan, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, LA, Atlanta, Washington, and Saint Louis. And, yeah. So it yeah. I'm guessing it's just like, it's fancy.

But, yeah, you're right. They probably wouldn't be able to say from that far away. Yeah. They head to the door of the barn and go inside and Laura says, shall we? They walk towards the building, but before they can enter, they hear gunshots.

The door opens and Bing comes running out. 2 more gunshots sound. Steel, Laura, and Bing hide in the horse trailers to as the Brooks Brothers men come running out, get in the car, drive away. Bing tells them the guy who was following him was in there. Steele asks if he if there was anyone else.

Bing says, Deniseovich, and adds that he has his caviar and wants 1000000 dollars for it. He hands his card to Steele saying that he gave him that. The card is for the Full Moon Motel, and he's in Room 211. Steele is incredulous saying, let me get this straight. The commissar of caviar comes to The United States, tracks you down into a barn, and tries to sell you caviar that you've already bought and paid for?

Being calls it a filthy communist trick. Yeah.

Eric: Hell.

Sarah: That one's kind of funny. But Laura observes that that sounds like the Dniecevich may have become a free agent. Steel wonders that if it means that the man that's been following them could be KGB. Laura says if he is, the men in the suits could be CIA. Steel remarks that they certainly dress the part.

She tells Bing to take the limo back to the office and wait for them there. Bing whines, where are you going? Laura says, to talk with comrade Denisovich. Steel tosses the friend of the day, his polo club, and he gets in the car.

Eric: You know, I'm gonna I've I've got this in my notes at this point because I think we've seen this Fred of the day several times, and I don't know who he is. I I I don't think I've seen him in anything else, at least not that I would have recognized. Yeah. But, I mean, he's been in there often enough. You you would think that we could come up with a name for him, but, yeah, he's he has been a

Sarah: We could just call him Fred.

Eric: But he he's been the Fred of the day for a while.

Sarah: Oh, no. I know.

Eric: I just like on for a while.

Sarah: I just like saying Fred of the day. Yeah. Once Bing is inside, Denisovich opens the door and climbs in beside him. He says that he might have been too, hasty in offers to make him a deal.

Eric: Yeah. Right.

Sarah: Yeah. Okay. At the motel, Steele and Laura walk into the room, only to be surrounded by the 2 men from before. Steele puts his hands up suggesting they might all be on the same side. 1 of the men asks, what side is that?

And Steele, a little too confidently says, he's sure they're familiar with his biography, and he's been known to work for the company from time to time. I do love when Steele tries to, like, imply that he has whatever connections Laura claimed he has. He's It's always funny to see him the rainy season. It's just Yeah. Enjoy this.

The man in the brown suit asks, what company is that? Laura observes that they certain certainly play it close to the vest, and the man in the black suit says, what vest is that? They are not the smartest henchmen on the planet.

Eric: Yeah. Well, I mean, they're smart enough to not answer any questions. So

Sarah: dumb, they're smart. Yeah. The man in the brown suit asked why the great Remington Steele is looking for a pudgy double crossing Russian. Steele says, you know, caviar. The man in the brown suit punches steel down on the bed and orders the man in the black suit to kill them.

Laura watches horrified as the man in the black suit gets his gun ready. She notices a black and white movie on TV, and it's a shootout scene as well. So she reaches over and turns up the volume. The sound of gunshots distracts them, and Steele is able to hit 1 with a lamp, and she's able to shove the other over as they run out the door of the motel. So they make their escape that way.

Mhmm. Back in the office, Bing is sitting at Laura's desk, and he tells Steele he's very disappointed in him. Steele is surprised, but he adds the entire organization to include Laura. He tells them that he's been going through his bill and lists the charges. End table, $460.

Champagne, $225. Apartment window, double bed frame. So, yeah, I guess you're right. He did break the bed. He asks Steele if he expects him to pay for his faulty equipment.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: I just can't. I can't with this guy. I can't. I can't. It's not funny.

It's not it's supposed to be funny. I don't it just makes me want to reach through my computer screen because that's what I'm watching it on and kill him myself. I just yeah. Anyway. Just can't.

Anyway, Steele points out that it wasn't faulty until he came into contact with it. Bing snidely says, I suppose you're gonna charge me for recovering my caviar too. He claims that he did all the work. Laura is surprised.

Eric: Yes. Yes. That's how it works. You pay for them to do work. You don't pay for them to have a specific result.

And

Sarah: if Yes.

Eric: And and the fact that you or somebody else finds the object of the search before they do doesn't mean you don't pay all the others who work for you trying to find the thing.

Sarah: Yes. But, again, this is this is that rich people mentality of, I don't want to pay you, and I'm going to find any way that I can to pay you. Because if you think about it, if he just decided that like, if this had been the end of it, if he walked

Eric: In out fairness in in fairness, fairness there are some rich people who aren't like that.

Sarah: But To be you know, I obviously.

Eric: Far too common.

Sarah: It yeah. And if he had decided, like, if this had been the end of it in real life, if he had just walked out and said, I'm not paying you. Screw you. Whatever. Be a lawsuit.

To take him to small claims court. But with Bing's money, it wouldn't be worth it. No. So and and he knows that. It's 1 of those things where I can walk away and not pay you because I have so much money that you're not even gonna try to challenge it.

Mhmm. And that's the attitude.

Eric: Well and the thing is that's not just individuals. Companies do that all the time.

Sarah: Time. Yeah.

Eric: They they hit you with all these these charges, and you it's not worth your time and trouble to fight them because because even if you win the case, if you look at how much time you lose at work going to small claims court, filing all the paperwork, doing all this stuff, it's just not worth it, and they know that.

Sarah: Yeah. So this is this is just so, yeah, he claims that he did all the work, and Laura is surprised that he recovered the caviar. But Bing says that he made a deal with Denisovich adding, why else would I be discharging you? He gestures to the bill and says, and for this, you'll be hearing from my attorney before throwing it at them. Now, you're right about that lamp.

Remember, talked about that lamp in steel ink? It is the same lamp. They did have the same Coria lamp because she even says it later on. Right. That was a Korea or Coria.

I don't remember how she pronounces it, but

Eric: Those are the only 2 episodes that I recall seeing that in.

Sarah: Yeah. It's I don't know. I'd have well, I guess we're gonna have to go back and look for another. If anybody has any screenshots from previous episodes with that lamp, please please tell us because, like, this is an an intentional callback to this lamp because it hits the lamp, knocks it over, smashes it on the ground, Bing glances at it, and then says, not very sturdy before leaving the office. And this is, I think, the point where I hate him the most because Laura just looks devastated.

Mhmm. She looks so upset. I mean, I I feel bad for Steele losing this champagne bottle, because it obviously meant a lot to him as well. But

Eric: Mhmm.

Sarah: You can just see, by the way, she sort of sinks to the ground and starts picking up the pieces, the look on her face. Like, this meant something to her.

Eric: And We don't know the backstory on it. We don't know why, but it is definitely yeah. It it has a very significant impact on

Sarah: her. Like, maybe it was the first piece of furniture she bought for the office. Who knows? But either way got

Eric: it from her grandmother or something. You yeah. We don't know the story, but it's

Sarah: yeah. It just bothers me so much because, like, he just he he's so disdainful about it.

Eric: He's just Talis.

Sarah: Yeah. And and then, like, she just looks so upset. Mhmm. And in the limo, she says that was a a Korea lamp. And then Steele kind of callously says that the lampshades replaceable, but the champagne wasn't.

And, again, this is

Eric: Steele. Except it's not. Those are It's I think those are 1 almost 1 of

Sarah: the kind

Eric: type things. They're handmade.

Sarah: They are they are handmade. So, individually, they wouldn't

Eric: And you might be able to find something that's similar to it, but you're not gonna they don't I I I doubt this company that makes those or the guy that makes these Yeah. Says, oh, you need a shade? Yeah. I've got a a stock of shades back here in the back. I'll just ship you 1.

No. It doesn't work that way. I'm I'm pretty certain.

Sarah: Even if he did even if you even if you could replace it with the exact same lamp. If it is something that, like you said, her grandma gave her or or yeah. Or or maybe it came from her old house, and she had it before the house blew up. She had There you what I mean? It had been in structure.

Eric: It was a And it was maybe the the first really special piece of of something that she bought for herself. Yeah. You know, once she moved into that house or something. You know? That was the thing that this I've been wanting something like this, and this is that special thing.

Yeah. It's just

Sarah: Exactly. Like, it Steele is kind of trying to, I don't know, 1 up her somehow. Somehow, like the that the lampshade's replaceable, but my champagne wasn't. If something has sentimental value, it doesn't matter It's

Eric: not replaceable.

Sarah: How much would how much it's worth. It's not replaceable. You can't just buy another 1 and put it there and say, boom. There it is. Yeah.

Years ago, when I moved out

Eric: That would be a great song. Boom. There it is.

Sarah: And we had whoop. There it is. So Oh. Years ago, when I moved out of out of my parents' house, when I was going to school, I moved into my apartment when I came back from Scotland, and I had I bought a Christmas tree. Mhmm.

And I asked my parents for my, baby bulb, like, my baby's first Christmas bulb. Mhmm. And they couldn't find it. Nobody could find it. They lost it, or they said they lost it.

And I was devastated because those were, like, bought in, like, from the Hallmark. You know, there was 1 of those Hallmark ones that you know? And I had had it all my life. And so I I went on the Hallmark website, and, yeah, I did manage to find the exact same bulb from 1982. You can buy them, and

Eric: they shipped it to me.

Sarah: I did manage to thankfully, it was my nephew that just misplaced it. So I now I have But, yeah, it wasn't the same thing. I got the replacement bulb, but I'm like, this is not my baby bulb. Like, this is a replacement that I've got to sort of like as a just to make me feel better. It's there, but it it's yeah.

It just bothers me that he said that when she looks so upset.

Eric: A lot of us have something like that, and that's all I'll say about that.

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: Details, please.

Sarah: Laura says that the man is a spoiled, overgrown brat who should be spanked. Thank you very much, Laura, for that image. I don't need that. And that has nothing to do with his size. It has everything to do with just how terrific he is as a human.

Ugh. Steel says it's easier said than done.

Eric: That that is a bad joke. Yeah.

Sarah: The phone rings, and Steel picks it up to the sound of gunfire. Bing yells, they're trying to kill me. Steele asks where he is, and he says the warehouse in a hurry. Let him die. He looks over at Laura, and then he waits a beat.

Eric: I don't like the fact that paused. Hurry.

Sarah: They're like he says they're trying to kill him, and Laura Connolly says that's because it's easier than spanking him, which fair. And then they wait another moment. They they, like they give it some time.

Eric: Yeah. It's it's 1 of those do we yeah. We've got to, but do we have to be in a hurry?

Sarah: Well, yeah. He doesn't he doesn't tell Fred. I noted this because usually when they're in a hurry, he says, like, you know, hit it, Fred, and don't spare the I'll pay the parking tickets or don't spare the rubber. He didn't say anything like that. He just said, Brett's warehouse.

Like, he didn't tell Fred's throat. Like, if we get there and he's dead, he's dead. Whatever. We try.

Eric: That's right. Oh, we try. And

Sarah: I don't I I'm not gonna criticize them on that. I'm fully 100% behind that policy.

Eric: That's right.

Sarah: At the warehouse, they enter to find Ding sitting dejectedly on 1 of the crates. He's holding what looks to be a gun. Steele grabs it and remarks that it's a starter pistol. Bing mutters that he knew they wouldn't come unless it was life or death. So he faked that

Eric: Mhmm.

Sarah: To get them there. And he he The fact that he knows that they wouldn't come unless it was life or death tells us that he knows the way he behaves toward people is crappy. Oh, yeah. Like, he he's not unaware that his behavior is spoiled and obnoxious and and and awful. He's But he also

Eric: knows that because he's being Parete and his daddy, not him, his daddy has a lot of money, people don't wanna offend him, and so they'll just put up with him Yeah. Until the point that they can just kind of walk away and not offend him by doing it.

Sarah: I mean, if I were Laura and Steele, this is where I would leave. I'd be like, oh, cool. You weren't really in danger? Have a nice life. Yeah.

Laura, quickly losing patience, asks, what is it now? Bing opens a crate to reveal Denisovich dead inside. Laura asks if he killed him with a starter pistol, but Bing says he was I'm assuming a starter pistol is just a regular gun. It's just smaller or okay.

Eric: It's a gun that's designed specifically to shoot blanks or

Sarah: Oh, okay.

Eric: Some other loud cartridge cap cartridge or something like that. But, yeah, there's no ability to fire a round out of it. So you you So Unless you you took something that was functionally close to being a regular gun, but was a starter pistol and designed as a starter pistol and you modified it, which is more trouble than it's worth Yeah. Unless you have no other access to guns, yeah, you you wouldn't know. Okay.

Sarah: Alright. So Bing says he was dead when he got there. They asked about the caviar, and Bing tells him it's gone. He says, doesn't look good. Does it?

Steel shakes his head, Laura tells him that under the circumstances, he's going to have a hard time proving he didn't kill this man. Bing decides that he will go to Sri Lanka, but Steele points out that that will only make him look more guilty. He says he was set up, but good, adding that anybody could have seen him arguing with Denise Fitch at the pole field that morning, and now he turns up dead in his warehouse. Bing asks what they're going to do, and Laura responds with, we? You fired us.

Remember?

Eric: Oh, come on. I was just kidding. You didn't believe that, did you?

Sarah: Like, okay. I have this in my notes, and I'll have to, like, edit it for the sake of language. Laura looks over to Steele and says, did we? And I would write, I would walk away. F him.

Those are my notes. I was like, you know what? No. I you fired me. Bye.

Have a

Eric: nice, policy. Once we're fired, we don't get rehired.

Sarah: Yeah. Exactly. Ugh. But they apparently do because we see Steele and Bing lugging the body out of the warehouse. They stumble over to the car.

Laurie yells for Fred to pop the trunk. How many times has this poor man seen them hide a body?

Eric: Yeah. Another day at work. What did do at work today, wife? Or husband? You know, they they put a body in the trunk, and I drove him around, and we dumped it out.

Sarah: I would love to see the nondisclosure agreement that Fred had to sign when he got hired.

Eric: You know, I've always contended. I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know. But I've always contended that when criminal activity is involved, a nondisclosure agreement is not enforceable. But, yeah, you never know.

Sarah: It's not. From what I understand, it isn't. Because, like, I was reading a bunch of stuff about this is a while back about the Harvey Weinstein case and how, like

Eric: Mhmm.

Sarah: A lot of the people that were assaulted by him were forced to sign these nondisclosure agreements that turned out to be not valid because he had committed a crime. But a lot of people assume they're valid because they're signing something. Right? So that must be

Eric: And they get threatened by lawyers who say, you sign a nondisclosure agreement. And

Sarah: Exactly. And the same was true with that cult, Nixxiom. They got all their members to sign NDAs, so they thought they couldn't go public with the stuff that they endured while they were in the cult. So yeah. But I still I would love to see the contract that Fred signed.

It says, like, you know, anything you see us putting in a trunk, you didn't see that. It didn't happen.

Eric: And and every single Fred that works for him has to sign that.

Sarah: Yeah. Exactly.

Eric: Is there a Fred union somewhere?

Sarah: They're oh, I thought that would be the best. A Fred union. Union of friends. And they're all sitting in the bar, the union bar where they're, like, having a drink and, like, what do you what do you have to do the other day? You don't wanna know, buddy.

You don't wanna know. Oh, that'd be great. Someone needs to write that story. A day in the life of Fred. Bing wonders if this is a good idea.

And Laura says that until they find out who killed him, it's better if Denisovich's body stays in allied hands. Bing asks what about his car, saying it's out front. Laura goes, gets into the limo and tells Steele and Bing she'll meet them back at the office. Steele and Bing go back into the warehouse, and they are met by a man who was out, Ivan, who was outside of Steele's window holding a gun. He identifies himself as Moscow police and tells them they are under arrest.

Steele asked, what for? And he says, for the murder of Denisovich. Bing begins crying. Oh, God. He knows.

It's probably 1 of the few times I laughed. And I thought, you know, Louie Anderson was genuinely funny here because like, Steele's like, shut up. What are you doing? And if they had played him more like this, if if the writing and the the direction had been more like, playing this kind of incompetent and a little bit, like, careless when it came to his money, but not so selfish and callous and and crappy to people. Mhmm.

I might have cared more. But at this point, I'm just like, whoever can shoot them, I'm happy. You know? Like, go for it. Steele introduces himself and his profession and his client, Bing and Perrette, to which Bing corrects with Bing.

The man doesn't care. Even though Yvonne doesn't care. He tells him to turn around and put their hands on the on the crate. They do, and hang and he handcuffs them together, telling them to save their breath for the boys in blue. Once the handcuffs are on, Steele and Bing shove them into a box of crates, and they make a run for it.

The police burst through the door and the and Yvonne says to stop them. Steel and Bing run through the warehouse, pulling down the boxes and other obstacles as they go. They eventually make it out the back door. Scene change. Inside a phone booth, Bing and Steel are squished.

Yep. Another fat joke. He can't fit in the phone booth. Ugh. He's annoyed that Bing

Eric: just let

Sarah: me change.

Eric: In all fairness, 2 people on a phone booth is really pushing it anyway.

Sarah: It never it never works, really. There those phone bills were phone booths were tiny. Yeah. But, again, this is this it's a deliberate we've we've talked about how the physical comedy in this show is so good. Mhmm.

And it is. It's fantastic. But this is physical comedy does at the expense of a of a of a human being that is repeatedly done throughout the episode. It's not just 1 joke. It's it's he can't Yeah.

Fit on the couch. He he hurts the horse when he sits on it. He can't fit in the we get it.

Eric: He breaks the mat.

Sarah: Right? Like, it's it's not it's it's like that kid that tells the jokes out, you know, 18 times, and you're like, okay. Was funny the first time, but I'm not laughing anymore. And I don't think it was funny the first time. So the more they they hammer in there, they double down on it.

It's like, I get it. He's big. Let's let's keep moving

Eric: on here. Let's move on. Yes.

Sarah: He's annoyed that Bing doesn't have any change. Bing pulls out a wad of cash out of his pocket, so he just has bills. He asked if Steel has any, and Steel says, he never cares change. Too noisy. I find it funny that Steele never has cash on him because in the eighties, it would not be as easy to walk around without cash on you.

It's it's easy now. I don't think I ever have cash on me because I almost always use my debit card. But I get the credit cards were a thing, but there were a lot of places wouldn't take them or if you didn't have the right credit card.

Eric: Well yeah. I mean, in the eighties, I think most places most places took credit cards. There there are still a few places around that will not take credit cards. We have 1 up here. It's called the Arctic Roadrunner.

It's a hamburger place. They only deal in cash. Yeah. But even back in the eighties, most businesses would take credit cards. Now they didn't all take all the brands, but, you know, a rich guy would have your Visa, your Mastercard, your American Express.

And if Discover was in in existence at that time, he woulda had a Discover too. He woulda had all his bases covered.

Sarah: But, like, there's there's play like, phone booths, buses. Right? You need change. You need exact change for those things. Well My family

Eric: A rich guy isn't gonna typically use a phone

Sarah: Not booth a bus. Or a bus.

Eric: You know?

Sarah: But my family owned a a coffee shop in in the little village that we lived in, and that coffee shop had been there for decades. And my family, when they bought it, they were the first people to put a a debit machine in there. And we're talking, this was 2010. So, like, there's some places out

Eric: there that respond very much cash. Cards, though. Right? No.

Sarah: No. It was it was cash. It was cash. You went in there. You worked

Eric: in machine is is not necessarily doesn't necessarily mean they didn't take

Sarah: any information. Nobody in that village would have paid with a credit card. It was all cash. Like, it was just a cash business. So I don't know.

It just seems funny that neither of them have cash. Stealing is exasperated saying that there's $1,400 between them, but they don't have a quarter to make a phone call. He tries

Eric: to get out. You know, they could just make it a collect call.

Sarah: Yeah. True. True. Yeah. Help Laura.

We're in trouble.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: You have a a collect call.

Eric: Or person to person call. Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah. They try to get out, but, of course, they're stuck. Eventually, they get out. Just as they get out of the phone book, phone book, phone booth.

Eric: Yeah.

Sarah: They can hear the sound of a police radio. Steele gets him to duck into a darkened doorway as the cop drives past. As soon as they come out, Bing asks if they're going to his office. Steele says no. Is that the first place they're gonna check?

Bing says they have to do something to get the handcuffs off. He whines that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life like this. Steele tells him to stop whining, and Bing exclaims that Martin Rohn's office isn't too far from there. He'll get the cuffs off. He adds that they could call Ms.

Holt from there. Steele says for the first time he's come up with a plan that makes sense. Before they can do anything, they hear the police radio again. Steele tells Bing to run with me. Reluctantly, he does, and we see them running together down an alley until they reach a fenced gate that is padlocked shut.

Steele tries to open it, but he can't. He goes to double back, but the car is still there. So frustrated, he climbs the fence. The cop car stops at the end of the alley, and Bing stands there on the other side as Steel tells him to climb. Bing says he is and with great difficulty climbs the fence.

They managed to run just as the cops are getting out of the car. So that one's not too bad because I could see somebody just having trouble climbing a fence. But

Eric: Yeah. Especially when they're handcuffed to each other. Yeah. That that does make it a little more difficult to climb.

Sarah: Yeah. That would make it tough. At the office, Mildred has somehow hacked into Bing's father's flight records and has canceled his flight?

Eric: Yeah. Well, you know

Sarah: And rerouted him through cashmere. When did she become a a top level hacker? Like, what did we miss? Well,

Eric: you know, it's computer security is a funny thing because sometimes it's really, really good, and other times it's not nearly as good as you think it is, and it's all just an illusion. Could you

Sarah: even do that in the eighties, though?

Eric: Yeah. You probably could if you if you knew knew a little bit about what you were doing and the systems. Because, I mean, some of those systems I mean, even now, some of the some of the systems that get broken into have such pathetic security. It's like the administrator password is 12345. Well, that's the default password that this system came with, and you didn't bother to change it?

Well, yeah, we didn't think it was important. So you got stuff like that. You've got things like utility companies. They still do this. And I think I've mentioned this before.

You come in and we want to verify your identity. So we're gonna ask you 3 questions that you need to answer, and these questions are all based on publicly available information. Well, if it's publicly available, it's not very secure, is it? It's just you know?

Sarah: Okay. Google strikes again.

Eric: Oh, no. So It's not Wikipedia, is it?

Sarah: Well, it's it's a like, it's a it's it's the AI overview.

Eric: Oh, so in other words, put white glue on your pizza so that the cheese doesn't come off. Okay.

Sarah: It's a but it's it's got the sources beside it, so I'm gonna assume that those sources are semi believable.

Eric: They have been there have been AI results that gave you a link to a source that the source didn't say anything about what they said it said.

Sarah: I I I'm going to give it a what is it? A disclaimer. This could be very wrong. But, according to the overview based on these sources that are at the side of my my computer screen here, the short answer, no. Not in any because I I I asked, could you hack into flight records and change someone's flight in the eighties?

No, not in any realistic practical sense, especially not for an ordinary person longer answer. It sounds plausible in fiction, but the reality in the 19 eighties makes it extremely difficult and very risky. Definitely not something something a lone hacker could casually pull off. Here's why and how airlines worked in the 19 eighties. In the eighties, airlines used early computer reservation systems like Sabre for American Airlines, Apollo for United, ParS, Amadeus for later eighties, but access was highly controlled.

Only airline employees and travel agents had terminals. Terminals were on private networks, not the public Internet. You needed physical access, credentials, and training. Most records were also backed by paper printouts, manual manifest, phone confirmations. So even if you altered something on a terminal, the paper trail would likely expose it.

What hacking looked like back then? The kind of modem based hacking you see in movies like war games did not exist, but it mainly targeted phone systems, university computers, and some corporate networks. Airline reservation systems were among the most protected systems in existence at the time. Even the government relied on their reliability. So breaking into 1 would require advanced technical skill, inside knowledge of the system, specialized hardware, and probably inside help.

It would be treated as a serious federal crime. Mail dread.

Eric: It's all it's always a federal crime. It's always a federal crime.

Sarah: Mildred. So yeah. Wow. Mildred's getting into some cyber felonies, I guess.

Eric: Yeah. Well, now here's here's another question then. Did passengers have access to online reservation systems back then?

Sarah: I don't think so. Because because the rest

Eric: of this did travel agencies. Because if the airline computer systems were secured directly, then you you can't attack them directly. You go in a roundabout way. Yeah. So you hack in through their system using a a stolen ID or a hacked ID as a passenger or you log in with a hacked ID as a travel agency, which is that is that is a system that a lot of hackers use these days.

For example, the auto industry, the last 20 years has been under a lot of fire, very, very quiet fire, but fire nonetheless because the control systems, I think it's called the cans, that operates as the backbone of all modern electronic cars. And all cars are electronic. They may not be electric powered, but they are electronic. There's this electronic backbone that runs through them that connects all of their systems, their their brakes, their acceleration, their steering, their their entertainment systems. And they've got these protections on certain systems, but they don't have protections on the entertainment systems.

And hackers get in through the entertainment systems, which are not protected because, I mean, it's just an entertainment system. What's the big deal if somebody hacks into it? Well, it's because it's connected. It's it's a client to this other system as a travel agent might be. Yeah.

And so through this hack of the entertainment system, they can control your car, and they have demonstrated time and time again that they can be hundreds of miles away, and they can control a car. They can take over the steering, the braking, the acceleration. They control the car.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: But they get into it indirectly, and that's that's what I'm wondering here is if there's some indirect way they they could do that.

Sarah: The website or the the overview here continued with, could somebody change a person's flight anyway? Yes. But not by hacking. These the realistic methods were convince an airline employee over the phone that you're authorized. Social engineering.

Yeah. Assistant, he's stuck in a meeting. He needs to be moved, etcetera. Inside help, an employee with terminal access could change the booking in seconds. So if Mildred has a friend at the

Eric: the giver access. Yeah.

Sarah: Right? Or impersonation in person, like, to show up at the ticket counter, claim a mistake was made, etcetera. So, yeah, you'd have to manipulate people, not the machines. But Mhmm. Either way, Mildred's committed a felony.

We're just gonna skate on. And

Eric: as a federal former IRS agent

Sarah: I know. She would have

Eric: no problem with that because they do that all the time.

Sarah: Yeah. That's true. Just then, Yvonne comes in with his gun. He bursts through the door, instructing them to do as they are told. Nobody gets hurt.

Laura and Mildred stand as he proceeds to look at all the rooms quickly. Mildred asks who he is, and Laura says KGB. Man says wrong. And she's surprised. He identifies himself as Ivan I'm gonna say this wrong, probably, Sterenikov, I think.

Mhmm. Moscow, please. He demands to know where Steele is, and Mildred says out. Laura asks why why? And Ivan says that Demisevich is dead.

His body is gone, and Steele has some explaining to do. Laura asks why he thinks Mr. Steele had anything to do with it, and Yvonne replies, intuition. Laura tells him she doesn't know how they do things in Moscow, but here they rely on. She's cut off before she can say evidence by Yvonne who insists that he plays by the book.

He says he called for police backup before he went into the warehouse to bust him and Perrette. Unfortunately, Steele plays by own book. I They

Eric: he he would have no legal authority No. In The US at all.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: First of all, why would the Moscow police be investigating something that would be, in Russia, probably a federal crime, which would or national, you know, government national government crime. So Yeah. Yeah. It would probably be a KGB case. And he even then, he would still have no authority in The US.

And while I called the police for backup before I went to arrest deal, you can't yeah. You know? Uh-uh.

Sarah: I'm assuming that what he means by that is that he I'm knowing what we know about him later. And I I I will say this. Out of this episode, despite my real dislike for this episode, I really like his character. His character is the only saving grace of this episode. And he mean, he comes across as very stiff at first, and then we get to see underneath what kind of a person he is.

And given how staunchly he sort of adheres to the book, I'm guessing when he arrived in The United States, he probably went to the local authorities and said, this is the person I'm chasing. I know I don't have any authority here. Will will you work with me, or will you, like Yeah.

Eric: I'm just saying, though, that when when he says, well, I called the cops for backup before I went into arrest deal. You can't you know, a citizen of The US can commit a citizen's arrest, but as a foreign national, I don't think he has any authority even to do a citizen's arrest because No.

Sarah: Probably not. He's not

Eric: a citizen.

Sarah: We we gotta just hand wave that too.

Eric: Hand wave. Hand wave.

Sarah: Yes. Yeah. He says they got away with the body, and he looks like a fool. Laura says, mister, and he supplies. Laura suggests they can help each other, and he asks how.

Laura suggests they start by telling him why he was following Bing and Perrette. He tells them he came to America following Denisovich, and Perrette was his only lead. Mildred asks if Denisovich defected, and Ivan says no, which is what crawls under his skin. He had plenty of opportunity.

Eric: This is funny. This is funny. It almost gives the impression that he would have rather Yeah. Yeah. The man defected.

Sarah: Yeah. He would have.

Eric: Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I have no problem with him if he had defected. No. No.

No. He he stole caviar.

Sarah: I I I understand actually why he would prefer that he had defected. Because if he defected, it means that he's he's a traitor. Right? He's turned traitor. But if he doesn't defect, then he's stealing from mother Russia.

He's He's still a

Eric: traitor, though.

Sarah: Yeah. But at least he's openly a traitor, I guess, if he doesn't like, that's the difference is that he's openly a traitor. Everybody knows him to be a traitor. But in this case, he's yeah. I don't know.

Eric: Mean, he's got enough political pull that even if they catch him, he can he can have it buried and probably have Ivan sent off to Siberia and, you know Yeah. Chipping ice off of polar bears or something.

Sarah: I kinda get where Ivan's coming from. I like him. Yeah. He says that, Bing and Perrette was apparently in cahoots with him. Laura asks what he thinks they were up to, and Ivan says that Denisovich was commissar of caviar, but 1 day disappeared without a trace.

The next day, they got phone calls and telex from Bing saying there was no caviar. I I don't know what telex is. That that's is that like an early fax machine? Or

Eric: Telegram. Or or well no. Not a Telegram. It's it's well, it's kind of a Telegram. Computer terminals.

Sarah: Okay.

Eric: And I don't I'm not talking about, like, what we see on Mildred's desk. I'm talking about

Sarah: Right. Right. Right.

Eric: The big you know, almost the size of a desk terminal that has a keyboard on it and has a a paper feed into it, and it would it would go computer to computer, it would actually type out a message. Okay. Some similar to a a telegram except that it's, you know, it's not a public

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: Transmission of information. It's it's usually direct business to business.

Sarah: Gotcha. Yeah. He asked Laura what she would think. Laura asked him how he managed to show up at Bing's warehouse tonight. Yvonne said he got a hot tip.

Laura asks from whom, and he said from mother Russia. Mildred asked if mother has a name. Oh, friend of mother Russia. Yeah. Mildred asks if mother has a name.

Yvonne says Martin Rome. Laura clarifies the guy who owns the caviar emporium. Laura wonders how Rome knew Denisovich was at the warehouse, and Mildred wonders who he knew that Ivan was working for him. Yeah. Sorry.

Sorry. Sure that makes sense. Laura concludes that there's more to Rome than meets the eye. Just then Ivan stands up and tells them to forget Rome. He wants the murder of of Denisevich.

Laura tells them that they want the same thing, but she says she knows where to start looking. Mildred says they could join forces and work on this together. And Yvonne is so cute here. He, you know, he just east, east, west. Laura dubiously adds left and right.

He wonders how he knows he can trust her, and she says the same thing occurred to her. So there's this tentative agreement between the 2. And then at at Martin Rome Enterprises, we see a security guard making the rounds as Laura and Yvonne hide behind some boxes and yet another warehouse. Once he's gone, they begin to open the boxes. Is probably my favorite 1 of my favorite scenes in the entire episode.

Mhmm. And that's saying something, because most of the scenes, I'm just wanting to kill somebody.

Eric: Well, then then the standard's pretty low.

Sarah: Yeah. Right.

Eric: Or the bar's pretty low. Whatever.

Sarah: Yeah. It is. It is really, really low. As Laura pulls out a jar of caviar, she asks him what it's like in Moscow. He tells her it's the same as here.

She looks surprised, and he says, you have crime problem. We have crime problem. You have Mary Lou Retton. We have Olga Corbett. Now, had to look these 2 up.

Not Mary Lou Retton. I knew who she was, but and, actually, Mary Lou Retton has been in the news a little more in the last little while because of a Do number of you remember who she was?

Eric: Yeah. She was a US figure skater. And I believe that she No.

Sarah: No. Not a figure skater.

Eric: Gymnast. A gymnast. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I believe she was in the Olympics around the same time as old.

Sarah: Yes. Yeah. She was basically, she she made the news back. She was on Wheaties boxes. She was that famous Mhmm.

Back then because partly because of the fact that she won the gold medal. She had damaged her knee prior to the Olympics that she won the medal. And so

Eric: she gave Tanya Harding's boyfriend the idea or Tanya Harding herself as well.

Sarah: Yeah. So she was recovering from this knee surgery that she had had, and she basically, like this was 1 of the Olympics most prestigious tournaments in the competition, which was boycotted by the Soviet block Nations except for Romania. So she was basically engaged in close battles with and I'm gonna butcher this name. So Eka Terina Sazbo of Romania for the all around gold medal. Trailing Sazbo Sazbo.

I'm not sure how to pronounce that on the after the uneven bars and balance beam with 2 events to go. She scored perfect tens on the floor exercise and the vault. But the vault was the thing that was especially dramatic because there had been fears that her knee injury and the subsequent surgery might impair her performance. And she actually, was quite injured at that point. Like, she should have backed out.

And looking back on it. It was her coach that basically pushed her and pushed her and pushed her to perform. She did the final vault. And when she landed on her ankle, it pretty much destroyed it. She retired like, the following year, I think, because, like, that injury was pretty much career ending.

And, like, you see pictures of that Olympics of her coach, like, basically having to carry her off because she couldn't walk. And it was, you know, hailed as like this brave thing that she did. And everybody was so, you know, like, this is this is what's called pushing through blah blah blah, but she was only, like, 14 at the time and was basically heavily pressured by her coach. Like, you you don't do this. You lose the gold.

You let your country down, etcetera, etcetera. Had she sort of had the wherewithal to say, like, I don't want to end my career this early because that's what happened. She probably should have said, no. I'm gonna pull out of this event. There's always next Olympics, but she didn't.

And I remember this being something that was talked about because Simone Biles, who's who's a very decorated Olympian now for the same for gymnastics, pulled out not these last summer games, but the games before that because of the what what they call the twisties. And it's like a vertigo thing where they can no longer feel where their body is in the air kind of thing. And she knew she was not confident with her doing these jumps and flips and twists. And so she said, you know what? I'm not gonna perform.

And it was kind of like a a switch in the way that we think about athletes instead of, like, pushing them to injure themselves. It was like, no. This is I'm not sure my body can handle this. I'm gonna step back. And then she came back in the next Olympics and crushed it, like, just took all the medals.

Right? So I don't know. I just thought it was interesting that her name I came

Eric: think a lot of athletes in the Olympics I don't think I'm not sure it's entirely fair to put all the blame on the coaches because I and I'm not I'm not saying that they are without blame because they certainly have their share of blame in situations like this. But I think there's a lot of athletes that I I think it falls into 2 camps. There's there's the ones who want to be pressured into doing it because they they they see that gold possibly being there, and they want to they want to go for it. And either they they just themselves disregard the potential for long term injury and and and long term, you know, disability, or they're they they they want to put up a a show of being resistant, but they they you know, at some level, they want to be pushed into it. And I think there are also those who have created a reputation for themselves that they are Louis Anderson's, you know, crybabies that well, I don't wanna but, you know, they they're doing it for attention.

But I I think the athletes, even where the majority of the blame lies in the hands of the trainers and the coaches, I think the athletes have some element, some level of responsibility because there's a part of them that just wants to go for it. And, I mean, this this athlete from a few years ago that walked away and said, you know, no. I I can't do that. I think that is the rarity because most athletes

Sarah: came back, and she, like, just cleaned up.

Eric: But it it Yeah. It's yeah. I I I don't think most athletes would really have a problem allowing themselves to be pressured into doing it. We we have a couple of comments here, 1 directly relevant to this conversation, and then I'll I'll come back to some other ones. Yeah.

1 comment says, it sounds like you're mixing up Mary Lou Retton and Carrie Strug.

Sarah: Oh, yes. I am. Okay. I am mixing them up.

Eric: Both had Bella carry Karolike, a famous Russian coach. Carrie's ankle had been wrecked.

Sarah: Yes.

Eric: And she supposedly had to vault to save the team's medal.

Sarah: Okay. Yes. I am mixing the 2 up.

Eric: And then Mary

Sarah: had the first tens on individual events for an American when the Russians and Romanians had dominated the gymnastics events for years. Look really similar in my defense. I can see I'm looking at a picture of of Marrily Lou Retton right now, and they look like the same person. So my bad. You're right.

I am mixing the 2 up.

Eric: A few minutes earlier, we had a comment about Louis Anderson and and his weight and and such. And the comment is Louis Anderson's comedic stock and trade was his size and weight. The gags are offensive to us today, but Anderson made his living with those jokes, and this person, this commenter, is pretty sure that the episode was written specifically to spotlight his comedy.

Sarah: No. And, again, I I realized that he like, because I watched some of his stand upcom comedy, and he he did but I just I don't know. I don't find I don't know. I just it it doesn't that doesn't work for me personally.

Eric: It doesn't work for To to this person's point, you know, it's we we have this tendency to judge things from the past with today's standards and ideals, and it it's a bit unfair to do that. And I what you're saying that as a person watching this now in the 2 thousands, it's it's offensive. But back in the 19 eighties or we go back to the 19 fifties or something that happened there in a movie or TV show or back in the 19 thirties, something happened in a movie or on a radio show, the standards and the perceptions were different and

Sarah: Oh, yeah.

Eric: You know, something that was not considered offensive back then is now and is it really fair to judge people for you know, we we could judge ancient Roman culture based on today's standards too or ancient Greek culture or or ancient this, that, and the other thing. It's not really fair because if this culture is this

Sarah: Well, to be to be fair, like, that's I mean, if we're looking broad societal standards, person personally myself, like and even when I was a kid watching Mhmm. Some of the stuff in the eighties, I never found fat jokes funny. I found them, like, icky. Like, that like like, cheap like, that's low hanging fruit to

Eric: me. And not everybody's the same and has the same standards. So yeah, you're right. I mean, even in the eighties, even in the fifties, even in the thirties, there were gonna be people that looked at that and said,

Sarah: no. Or, like, you do it once, but then they keep doing it. Right? So it's like Mhmm. And and this like, going back to Mary Lou Retton, you're right.

I I mixed up her and and Carrie Strug, but I did I did find this when I because I had a couple of Google links because I I did actually research this prior to. I didn't just quickly Google it now for once. And she was linked to the, Larry Nassar gymnastic scandal in the sense that, like, he was a serial abuser. And I mean, linked in the sense that her coach was linked to him, like, not that she was, part of it. However, she has defended it, which is pretty gross.

However, there was also a lot that she went through in terms of like fat shaming abuse that she went through after her 19 84 Olympic gold, despite the fact that she only weighed 94 pounds. So she had spoken out about the abuse that she endured. She became the first American woman to win Olympic all around title during The USA's home games in LA in 1984, which is probably why they mentioned her.

Eric: Mary Lou Retton or Carrie

Sarah: Stone? This is Mary Lou Retton because I I'm actually looking at the article. The Olympic gold combined with her 2 silver and 2 bronze catapulted her to fame, not just within the gymnastics world, but on a global level. However, the gymnastic legend has now revealed that her rise to the status of overnight sensation wasn't easy admitting she suffered severe fat shaming. I was considered a big girl.

I was 4 foot 9 and 94 pounds a big girl, but that's what I was considered. She told people I was considered the fat 1 and I wasn't and I'm looking at a picture of this girl. She's not fat. She's she's muscular for her size, but she's certainly not fat. Like, what I mean her size, I mean, she's only 4 foot 9.

So, like, she's short. Right? She adds, it hurts to be called something or not. They'd say you're heavy. You're fat.

This is not what gymnastics is supposed to look like. They used to say, who's the guy with the big thighs? They'd say Mary Lou with the Earl Campbell. Like, gross. Anyway, so

Eric: Yeah. I you know, I've but, you know, that sort of thing happens even Yeah. Even now. You get people that

Sarah: for sure. Like

Eric: The I I look at, you know, people, women in particular, that are called fat or

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: You know, whatever. And it's like or they're what's the term? Plus size, you know, and and it's like because some some magazines have been

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: Had articles about how this magazine or this company or, you know, they're celebrating this plus size people. I'm looking at

Sarah: They're not plus sized. They're, like, world sized. Yeah.

Eric: They're they're they're not even Rubinesque. Yeah. You know?

Sarah: Yeah. No. I agree with you on that too because it was, yeah. It drives me nuts. But so I I don't wanna go too far into the weeds with this.

I just I thought it was interesting because she now. Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. And I it's my fault for mixing up her and Carrie Strug because I, like, I I looked at a picture, and I guess I just I she looks so much like her that I just thought it was her.

And I just thought of, like, that whole conversation. But he mentions he you've got Mary Lou Retton. We've got Olga Corbyn. Mhmm. So I looked her up, and she was a legendary gymnast from the Soviet Union whose performance in the seventies transformed the sport and made her 1 of the most famous athletes in the world.

So she was born in 1955, part of the, what was part of the Belarusian SSR in The Soviet Union. She competed for the Soviet gymnastics team in the 19 72 Munich Olympics. And then again in 1976 in Montreal, named the sparrow from Minsk for her small stature, grace, and charisma. And she is her Olympic record includes multiple medals from the 72 Munich games, including 3 golds for team balance beam and floor, silver on the uneven bars. And then in the Montreal games, she got another team gold and an individual silver.

She was a revolutionary gymnast whose routines emphasized acrobatics, daring moves, expressive performance influencing the direction that women's gymnastics took. Corbett introduced, signature skills including a dramatic backflip on the uneven bars and balance beam known as the Corbett flip or dead loop, which became iconic and later was removed from competition for safety reasons. She retired from elite competition in 1977 and later became a gymnastics coach. She eventually did move to The US in 1991 and continued to teach gymnastics. So she became the first gymnast inducted into the International Gymnastics Hall of Fame.

So it's kinda, I I also wanted to highlight that legacy because he mentions he's he's sort of highlighting these 2 parallel gymnasts, and they do feel very similar in that. They both achieved, like, really big big things for their countries. So I this I I like Ivan. I like how he's trying to find similarities in in in 2 countries that were ideologically couldn't be more opposed if they wanted to be. But he says, you know, you've got a crime problem.

We've got a crime problem. You had Mary Lou Retton. We have Olga Corbett. Like, he's he's seeing the similarities. Right?

Eric: He says, which comment on some of the things he gets late into later. But

Sarah: Okay. What's the comment?

Eric: 1 let's keep going. Just we'll get to it.

Sarah: Yeah. He he tells the rich he says the rich and poor have a long history on both sides of the iron curtain. And, again, he's not wrong there. I like how he's trying to find their shared humanity. This this is probably the only part of the episode that I think is really, really well done is this this element of it.

Laura asked if he ever thought about defecting, and he says, no. He has a good life. He says that the Russians are a stoic. Broad. Broad.

Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. He looks confused, and then he smiles realizing he meant breed. She corrects him, and he smiles back.

And they're just this is sweet. There's, like, a real warmth between them, and it's, like, 1 of the few good moments in this episode, like, this understanding between these 2 nations. And then there's a bit of comedy in in the next bit, because Laura walks over to another box, and he says that they have their vodka and television. Laura asks if that makes them happy, and he says Russian programming? He admits that mostly they watch smuggled American shows on smuggled Japanese VCRs.

Then he says, it's the latest craze. They have all the latest police dramas

Eric: like me? All the latest? Okay. M squad. He mentions m squad.

Sarah: 1954.

Eric: 1957 and 1960.

Sarah: Yeah. Oh, sorry. Produced by Lee 1954 when I looked it up. But oh, okay.

Eric: Produced by Lee Marvin's Latimer productions. Racket Racket squad, 1951 to 1953. Mod squad. That's the only 1 that's even close. That was 68 to 73.

Yeah. Highway patrol.

Sarah: Highway

Eric: patrol. 55 to 59. Excuse me? Latest. But

Sarah: that's not the first time they've made that joke because, like, when they when they go to Mexico, if you remember when they're, hey, man, we got the Starsky and Hutch over here. Right? Like, there's always that joke that these other countries that are smuggling in American programs are years behind. Yeah. And I mean, it it may be a bit of an maybe not the most kind of an offensive joke, but it's yeah.

It is kind of funny because then he's he's so he's so like, I don't know, like, almost boyishly excited to talk about these police dramas that he really likes. You know? He says he's he says, and best of all, highway patrol. Then he says 10 4. Broderick Cufford?

Like, he just looks so excited. He's like, he I don't know. I think he expects Laura to be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I I watched that too, but you're right.

They're, like, 30 30 years out of date. These shows that he's mentioning. But it's very cute. It is so cute. I really like him.

Laura laughs, and they continue to look. At Marty Rome, Steele and Bing are sitting at the table as he gets them a drink. He says, it sounds like they're lucky to be alive. Steele says, yes. Lucky.

And he says he doesn't really believe him. He tells him that he doesn't mean to be hasty, but would he mind? And he gestures to the handcuffs. Rome tells Steele to say no more, then picks up the phone and says, Wade, Smokey. Those are obviously the henchmen Mhmm.

Before putting the phone down. Bing suggests they call miss Holt and let her know they are in safe hands. Door opens. And the 2 men from before walk in, Steele spits his drink out and surprises as he sees them. Marty says he understands they've already had the pleasure, and Steele asks if they work for him.

Marty asks if he's surprised, and Steele says enlightened, adding that he thought they worked for the CIA. Bing wonders what he's talking about, and Steele says they can stop looking for the caviar. Bing says, what are you talking about? We can't stop now. And Steele tells Bing that mister Rome has the caviar.

And Bing

Eric: Thanks. Wow. This is great.

Sarah: Being the idiot that he is. He does? And Marty says to Bing that he's the worst thing to ever happen to his father, but the best thing to ever happen to him. And I don't know. I'm kind of on Marty's side.

I know that sounds terrible, but, like, you know, Bing looks at Steele and says, we're in trouble, aren't we? Yep. Steele says, you catch on quick, adding that he likes that in a client. Marty instructs Wade and Smokey to put him on ice. The men pull out their guns, walk around to the chairs, and yank.

They still handcuff, steal, and bang to their feet, pulling them out the door. Yes. I would just like to point out that this is a a long, sort of running trope in that, you know, put them on ice and, you know, you get the men pull out the guns, but they don't actually use it. Of course, they put them in some sort of, like, trap that, of course, they can get out of and then walk away. And yeah.

Sure. Yeah. So we've got we've got a scene change. We go back to Laura and Yvonne. They're still in the warehouse looking through the boxes.

Laura pulls out a jar of Rome caviar, noting that it says a 100% American on the jar. She asks Yvonne what he knows about caviar. He corrects her on the pronunciation of his name. It's where yeah. And asks, what do Americans know about hot dogs?

I like how he's compared caviar and hot dogs. That Yeah. That I think

Eric: is But the thing is he's also wrong because for for a lot of people, it's a hot dog. So what? You know? Well, this is a different brand. It tastes different.

Yeah. Tastes like a hot dog to me. You know?

Sarah: Yeah. I I I don't like hot dogs, personally. I'm not a fan unless they're, like, barbecued and charbroiled within an inch of their life to the point where you're eating, like, charred remains of what was meat like product. I am not a fan. We've talked about this before, so it's just not a thing.

Eric: A and w Connies. A and W Connies. No onion. And then a Yeah. Ice cold mug of A and W root beer.

Oh, man. Such a game. Oh, so good.

Sarah: I'll take your word for it. But, yeah, not a fan. So she asks, sorry, he says, what do Americans know about hot dogs? He opens it, tastes it, saying it's the real McCoy, 100% Russian.

Eric: Well, he also says it's golden row. And I'm not as we discussed earlier, I I don't know nothing about caviar. I don't wanna know nothing about caviar. But from the information I found, that's not golden roe because golden roe is literally a golden color, and what we see here is black.

Sarah: Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. So this this is yeah. Sorry.

My I don't know anything about Caviar either. The door opens. We get the

Eric: The truth walking in.

Sarah: Yeah. She holds up the jar and says, then why does the label say a 100% American? The door opens, and the 2 men come in pulling steel and being with them. Laura and Yvonne duck down and watches the 2 men shove steel and being into the walk in freezer. So my daughter and I were watching awesome Powers the other day.

And there's that scene where he basically, like gets called out on the fact that he doesn't kill. Like, it's it's kind of a joke about how on a in the James Bond movies. They never actually kill James Bond when they should kill James Bond. Like they so there's this moment where he's got he says, I'd like to introduce you to daddy's nemesis and his son played by, Seth Green. He's like, what?

You're feeding him? And he's like, no. I'm going to put him in an overly elaborate, easily escapable trap and walk away and assume it all went to plan. And then his son's like, I got a gun. I can go up to my room.

We can shoot him together. And he's like, you just don't get it, Scott. To his son. Like, that's the like, this is just how it's done sort of moment. So this kinda made me think of that because, like, this is the supervillain school of murder.

Eric: Well, I've I haven't seen those movies. I have have copies of them on my computer that somehow mysteriously showed up, but I do wanna watch them. But the 1 thing I do know about the Austin Powers movies is that they've got a great Allen Parsons reference in 1 of them.

Sarah: Yes. Yes. I will call it the Allen Parsons project. I love that. They are

Eric: I'm I'm a Allen Parsons fan. So

Sarah: They are extremely juvenile. So you have to just, like, be fine with the fact that the humor is really, really juvenile. But if you can if you can get board

Eric: that smart. So

Sarah: Yeah. If you can get on board with that, you'll have a great time because they are quite funny. And this bit was is 1 of the things that I really love is he's like, I've got a gun. We can shoot them together. And he's like, no.

I'm just gonna walk away and assume it all went to plan 1. And then and then he says, begin the unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism as it's like, put them down. And he wanted them to have, like, be dipped into this pool with sharks that had laser beams, and and his henchmen's like, sir, we couldn't get the sharks because of, like, animal control or something like that.

Eric: This sounds like something from, Kim Possible.

Sarah: Yeah. You you you

Eric: 1 of their villains.

Sarah: Yeah. So he's like, all I wanted was sharks with freaking laser beams. What do we have? Sea bass. So, yeah, if you get a chance to watch it, you'll find it funny.

But this is basically the supervillain school of murder. Like, they could just shoot them, but instead, they put them in the freezer. Yeah. So Laura and Yvonne watch, and they wait for the men to leave, then they open the door. Steele is surprised to see Laura.

He tells her not a moment too soon. Well, I mean, they probably could have survived in there for a little bit longer, but whatever. Yes. She tells Yvonne to get the handcuffs and he does, ushering Bing out of the freezer. Steel is surprised to see that Yvonne is on their side.

And Laura says, scary, isn't it? They all leave and close the freezer door. Back at the office, Laura is trying to explain to what's going on to Bing. He says, think of it this way. Martin Rome approaches the commissar of Caviar Denisovich and cons him into re rerouting the caviar through Bulgaria to him for a price for a price, of course.

Steele adds that mister Rome gets rid of the middleman, which is Bing, and increases profits profits. Sorry. Ivan adds that Denisovich leaves the Soviet Union and becomes big American millionaire. Laura points out that Martin Rome never intended to pay up. Laura says that he must have figured Denisovich would never get out of Russia to come collecting, and Ivan declares that Martin Rome is a treacherous man.

And bing. And, again, this is where we're supposed to feel sorry for him.

Eric: Mhmm.

Sarah: Right? This is 1 of those moments because he crosses his arms sadly and says he was my best friend. And, obviously, this guy has no friends. Yeah. And And neither does Martin Roam.

No. But, I mean, I'd I'd feel bad for him if he were simply a maybe a little bit clueless rich kid who who is desperately trying to get daddy's attention, but is ultimately, like, just kind of no. He's selfish to the point of of being almost a sociopath He turns on a dime when people can when people can help him or, you know, are useful to him. He's he's, oh, you know, it's me. It's Bing.

Whatever. And then the minute they're no longer useful, he just, you know, you'll be hearing from my attorney. Oh, I guess your lamp wasn't that sturdy or something like just that. So we're supposed to feel bad for him here, and I just don't. Yeah.

Laura says to Bing that every year they go, they have a polo match and invite all the buyers to place their orders. Right? Bing nods and says so. Steele tells him that this year in Rome's tent, his buyers will have the chance to sample the best American caviar to rival the Russians that they have ever tasted. Yvonne says that's because what they are eating will be Russian.

Laura says exactly. Steele says that Rome will convince all the buyers to do business with him by convincing them that American caviar is just as good as Russian caviar.

Eric: Is Russian caviar really that much better than anybody else's? I have to wonder. Know, that's that's like the people who say that bagels from this particular shop in New York are the best. They're better than anything anywhere else. You know, nobody else makes a bagel that tastes as good because these are the really?

You think so?

Sarah: I mean, there's certain places that that can can lay claim to things like Chicago deep dish pizza or Philadelphia cheesesteak sort of thing. I don't know. I've never had either 1 of those. But

Eric: Those are things that made that they made famous because they invented them there, but that doesn't mean that they're the only ones that that make it good. That's true. Mean that theirs are better than somebody else's.

Sarah: But if you go to, like, Quebec, you're gonna have poutine there that's better than anything that you'd get anywhere else in Canada, and they invented it. So I don't know. I'm for those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, poutine is a Canadian food staple that is basically french fries covered with gravy and cheese curds. They have to be like proper cheese curds, and they're melted onto the fries. And it's I think it I I'm not sure.

I've I've been told it's French for big mess, but I think that might just be a joke. I don't know if that's actually true, and I've never looked it up. So but, yeah, poutine is like a a thing there. And, or ice wine in Niagara. Like, if you're going into Niagara and you get ice wine, like, that's the or you go to Halifax, you can get a donair, and that's like a big thing.

I don't even know if I don't even know if they have donairs anywhere else.

Eric: I don't even know what a donair is.

Sarah: So a down a don't it's a it it was invented by a Greek immigrant that came to Halifax who basically took traditional Greek gyros, which were, like

Eric: Euros.

Sarah: Well, we say gyros. We say them wrong here, I guess, by using spice ground beef and unique sweet sauce mixed made with condensed milk and mixed it with, like, the donor kebab. And it became, like, a regional staple because it's kind of, like, a mixture of the 2. The difference being that he replaced lamb with seasoned ground beef and introduced a signature sweet Donair sauce, which is condensed milk vinegar, sugar, and garlic powder, and it's served with pita bread, tomatoes, and raw onions. And so it's like yeah.

It

Eric: is good. It's I like gyros.

Sarah: Basically, the kind of thing that you eat coming out of the bar at 2AM when you're, like, really hammered, and there's, like, a stand. You know? But it's delicious. It's like, best thing. Anyway, totally not relevant to what we're talking about.

No.

Eric: Not at all. But when has that ever stopped us?

Sarah: I don't know if Russian caviar is truly better than America. I don't know anything about caviar. To me, it did it sounds like slimy and disgusting no matter where you get it from. But Laura continues saying that it's and better because it's cheaper. 6 months down the line, Bing would be out of business.

Russia would be in trouble, and Rome would have made tremendous inroads into the caviar business. Yvonne declares this man is enemy of the people. It must be stopped. Just He's so cute. I love him.

Laura shoots Steele a look who smiles and looks back at Bing. The next day, we see Mildred painting a sign on a large white catering van that says Martin Rome Enterprises in blue. We then see an identical van that actually belongs to Rome being pulled over by Laura and being dressed as cops and in a fake cop car.

Eric: You know?

Sarah: I think it. Yeah.

Eric: If he's a Los Angeles police officer, they need to raise their standards a little bit. The sad part is that he's probably fairly representative of some of them. I used to used to be law enforcement security in the Air National Guard in Oregon, and they have what's called the fat boy program. That's that's a slang term Okay. Throughout, I think, a lot of the military for a program of putting people who are overweight on a program to get them down to to size or or they they have to go.

And Yeah. Yeah. We we had we had people that could have rivaled Bing. We had 1 guy who he would come in and have 2 grocery sacks full of junk food. He'd bring those into work with him.

But for lunch, he'd have a salad and a Diet Coke because he wanted to watch his weight.

Sarah: Well, we get more fat jokes here with with Bing struggling to get out of the car. Mhmm. They walk up to the van, the man driving it says, well, don't just beat all pulled over by a broad and a blimp. Laura, in a no nonsense voice, asked to see his registration. And as he gets as he gets it out, he asks whether there's a weight limit on cops anymore.

Bing says, this is probably the only again, 1 of the few points in the episode where I'm like, I could I could like Bing if he had if we'd seen more of this because he responds with my brother's the commissioner and asks, you wanna make something out of it? Like

Eric: Yeah. Well, and context in in the context of the episode, this guy's reaction to Bing and his weight is not not unexpected. I mean, that's the kind of thing that that somebody would say because you typically think of cops as being people who are in somewhat decent physical shape at a minimum.

Sarah: I don't know that I would say it to a cop that's pulled me over, though.

Eric: Well, no. But what what I'm saying is that Yeah. That you you if somebody like that came up in a police uniform to you, you think, okay. You know, where's where's the cameras? This candid camera, this this a joke.

Right?

Sarah: Well, and we again, not to go back to Die Hard, but we see the same, sort of thing in Die Hard with, Reginald Vell Johnson, who also played a cop in in Family Matters. He was the the main character of the dad. In that show, when he was a police officer, he also plays a police officer in Die Hard, and he's the first scene you see him in, he's in a grocery store buying a bunch of Twinkies. And the clerk says he gives him a look, and he says, my wife's pregnant. It's our first child.

And the clerk's like, yeah. Sure. And he's like, just bag it. Right? So, like, apparently, though Both because

Eric: of that closed?

Sarah: Apparently, because of that, the actor says he later received, like, tons of in the mail from fans of a movie, and he was like, don't send me any more Twinkies. I I'm sick Twinkies.

Eric: So I never liked Twinkies. So

Sarah: So, yeah. Like, I have seen this joke about cops and stuff before. Again, it's just adding it on to all the other stuff. Plus, if somebody's just pulled you over, why would you mock their weight?

Eric: No. You you don't you don't stupid. No. They're But I mean, there are I mean, I can see somebody doing that. There are people who would do that.

Sarah: It's just dumb. Like, they're you could try to get out of a ticket if you're gonna receive a ticket, or you could mock the cop and get it. Anyway, they're not really cops, but still, he doesn't know that. Laura tells him to get out of the truck. Bing yanks the guy out of the car and shoves him against it.

Laura tells him that they're taking him in on suspicion of driving a stolen vehicle. She tells Bing to read him his Bing tells him he's got the right to remain silent. When he doesn't say anything else, the man's like, that's it. Bing replies, what do you want? The Magna Carta?

Let's go.

Eric: I love that. This

Sarah: is funny. This part's funny. I'm like, if if if he if Louie Anderson had done sort of this kind of thing throughout the I would have enjoyed him a hell of a lot more because he's actually funny as pretend as this pretending to be the cop.

Eric: Yeah. That's great. What do you want? The Magna Carta?

Sarah: The man says he has to be somewhere in an hour and asked about his truck. Laura tells him it will be towed to the impound lot. The man gets in the back and so does Bing. Why? Why does he get in the back?

For I guess it's for another fat joke because the man says, Alan, Bing says, move over. Well But don't would he get in you don't get

Eric: the back of the suspect. I recall seeing that sort of thing in TV shows in the past, and I don't know if that was actual normal procedure or not where

Sarah: I have no idea.

Eric: 1 officer would get in the back with the suspect. It's It seems stupid, but

Sarah: It is. Yeah. It does. Seems stupid to me. But, like, especially if, like, I don't know.

The guy hits you with his elbow and not anyway. Yeah. So, yeah, they drive away just as Mildred and Ivan drive up in the other identical van, and they park behind the first 1. They get out. Yvonne puts a step stool on the ground so that Mildred can climb up and start spray painting the sign that says Martin Rome Enterprises.

Yvonne gets in

Eric: that she's using doesn't match.

Sarah: I know.

Eric: And and it's different later when you see it. And it's just like I I know. Handwave. Handwave. Handwave.

Sarah: Yvonne gets into the driver's seat, grabs the keys, and switches them. Meanwhile, we see Laura and Bing driving the man in the cop car. She tells Bing, who is going by Ronald, that they're supposed to get off at 03:30. Bing says so, and Laura replies, Well, if they take them down and book them, they'll have to write a report, and they won't get out till 9. She hands the ticket back to Bing and suggests they turn the other cheek on this 1.

He looks at it, thinks for a moment, says, his brother is the commissioner, so he won't get in any trouble. What the heck?

Eric: No. He says, he won't get into any trouble.

Sarah: That's true. They turn around and drive back. Meanwhile I'm sorry.

Eric: Ray bans do not they don't do for anybody. I don't care what anybody says. Ray bans are not cool.

Sarah: Says you.

Eric: Yeah. Your point.

Sarah: I like Ray bans. Okay. Meanwhile, Yvonne is, behind the wheel of the first truck, which is now completely white, and Mildred pulls the fake truck up to that spot, gets out and joins Yvonne in the first truck. They drive away just as Laura and Bing pull up to the fake truck. They let the man out, and Bing tells the man to stay off his beat punk before getting back to the passenger side of the car.

As Laura and Bing drive away, we hear her say, let's get these costumes back to the studio.

Eric: Okay. How did they even get

Sarah: them out? I mean, genuinely, like to know how this went down because

Eric: Well well, even before well, first of all, how did they get the the the fake cop car and the uniforms out of the studio? But then again, how did they get into the studio in the first place?

Sarah: Yeah. Because I could buy it if I could buy it if they had rented the costumes, and so they were from a Mhmm. From a studio. Right? Because that's how you get the costumes.

But, no, they got them from the studio along with the car. Yeah. So, yeah, how did they manage that 1?

Eric: 0, also, I think it was in yeah. Was in the scene here. I noticed something that I never noticed before.

Sarah: Oh?

Eric: Stephanie has double pierced ear it looks like Stephanie has double pierced earrings or double pierced

Sarah: ears. Clip ons, though. I mean, I don't know for sure. We know she has pierced ears because we've seen her wear earrings.

Eric: But Yeah. It's just Yeah. On the 1 side, it it's hard to tell. It's I mean, it could just be a reflection from the backside of the earring, but it almost looks like they're double pierced. But I it just it's it just looks weird to me.

Sarah: Yeah. We'll have to look for that in the future. At the polo field, Steele is playing against Rome who tells him he's more clever than he thought. Steele says, on or off the field, and Rome says both. And I looked up polo because, like, I have seen this game in movies, and I genuinely don't really understand it.

They're on this it looks like cricket on a they're croquets or not cricket. It looks like croquet on a horse.

Eric: Yeah. That was kind of. Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah. So it's according to Wikipedia. It is a stick and ball game that is played on horseback as a traditional field sport. It It is 1 of the world's oldest known team sports originating as, shovegen. It's of Persian descent over 2000 years ago and later adopted by the Western world from its modern form developed in India.

It's been called the sport of kings and has become a spectator sport for equestrians and high society often sponsored supported by sponsorship. So basically, like it, I'm not gonna go through all the things, but in terms of like how it's played, I'm just seeing if I can find any sort of like, this is like contemporary polo. Yeah. It's just going through all the country's rules. The rules of polo are written to include the safety of both players and horses.

Games are monitored by the empires. Blah blah blah. Okay. So it's basically games are monitored. A whistle is blown when the infraction occurs and penalties are awarded.

Strategic plays in Polo are based on the line of the ball. An imaginary line that extends through the ball in the line of travel. This line traces the ball's path and extends past the ball along the trajectory. The line of the ball defines rules for players to approach the ball safely. The line of the ball changes each time the ball changes direction.

The player who hits the ball generally has the right of way, and the other players cannot cross the line of the ball in front of that player. As players approach the ball, they ride on either side of the line, which is why we see them sort of, like, riding parallel to each other giving each access to the ball. Player can cross the line of the ball when it does not create a dangerous situation. Most infractions and penalties are related to players improperly crossing the line of the ball or the right of way. So, yeah, that's basically, like, they have to get it to the other side, I guess.

Mhmm. Win points.

Eric: Sounds more complicated than it's worth.

Sarah: It does. It really does. Anyway, we switched back to see Laura and Bing drive back to the film studio where they get out of the car. And as you said, a man demands to know where they've been as they had an 11:00 call. So he assumes they are either actors and

Eric: extras. Yeah.

Sarah: Laura improvises saying they had a bit of trouble with wardrobe. The man says he asked for a white cop and a black cop and says, doesn't anybody read scripts around here? Now I would say this was a Lethal Weapon reference, but it hadn't come out yet. So this is kind of funny that this episode has, like, that line, that throwaway line because this later became sort of like a formula preceded lethal weapon, which was 1 of the first movies kind of like

Eric: Didn't Eddie Murphy do a but that would

Sarah: He did.

Eric: Would have been afterwards.

Sarah: That was just no. No. You're thinking of Beverly Hills Cop, which came out 1985, but that was and still actually references Beverly Hills Cop in a later episode, but that was just 1 cop. It wasn't a buddy cop thing. This is the buddy cop, black cop, white cop formula.

He, I mean, he he he had judge Reinhold in it because, like, the plot of that movie is that he goes to LA, and he has to deal

Eric: with the law of LA cops.

Sarah: Yeah. But it's not really

Eric: It's not the same thing. Okay.

Sarah: It's more adversarial because, like, half the half of the movie, he's trying to stop them from stopping him. It isn't until the, like, last act of the film where they work together. Whereas with Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, they're partners all the way through. But, yeah, this just seems very lethal weapon and lethal weapon haven't come out yet. So he pauses and talks to someone using an earpiece saying, yeah, they're here.

He tells them to stay out of the way until he calls them and walks away. Laura looks over at the trailer next to them and suggests they get out of their uniforms. Yeah. Because you're gonna end up on a film set if you don't.

Eric: Yeah. Right.

Sarah: She goes in the door marked for women, and he goes in the 1 marked for men. Inside, she talks to Bing through the wall. She tells him that she will call Fred and get him to take him back to the agency. She and Mr. Steele will then take care of Martin Rome.

Bing says, don't you think I ought to be there? But Laura tells him that Rome's men will be looking for him. Bing says he has a confession to make and admits that it's not easy being him, living in daddy's shadow, following in his footsteps. He says that he knows he means well, but the problem is that he's overbearing. Big admits he's never had to do anything for himself his entire life.

He says he doesn't know how to do anything and that he couldn't have his life depend depended on it. And again, this is where we're supposed to feel like bad for me. Mhmm. But all I'm hearing is blah blah blah. I've got lots of money.

Poor me, which

Eric: Mhmm. Well, the problem is he's obnoxious and irresponsible, and he takes absolutely no responsibility for anything. Now in in fairness, I think these are the kind of things that would be symptomatic of somebody who's been emotionally abused or or Sure. Emotionally crushed. Put it that way.

Yes. Stunted. So they they use the power, position, and authority that they kind of have or that they have access to through their parents or whatever as a way to crush others so that they can feel competent. But at some point, yeah, just because you're raised in that environment, raised in that situation doesn't mean you have to turn out that way. Yeah.

You know, you can you can say, I don't like this. I have to deal with it as it is right now, but I'm not going to be that kind of a person. And you don't have to be. Yeah. And so so this comes off as being, it's my daddy's fault.

No. No. No.

Sarah: He's a 30 33 year old man. Like

Eric: Yeah. Your dad may have he may have created the environment where it's easy for you to become that person, but you didn't have to become that person. Yeah. You let that situation make you that.

Sarah: You're a grown ass man, so you can, like, you know oh.

Eric: I I do like Laura's sweater. It's it's it was bit obnoxious on the red, but and the flower. But I I I I'm sorry.

Sarah: I'm into the sweater. There is a comment on polo. In polo points, our goals are earned by hitting the ball with a mallet between the opposing team's goalposts with each successful shot counting as 1 point. So that's better than my explanation, which was all over the place.

Eric: And I still didn't understand it.

Sarah: Laura throws on in my notes. I have Laura throws on an absolutely gorgeous sweater. It it looks fantastic on her.

Eric: Oh, always looks good in sweaters.

Sarah: Yeah. No. She

Eric: good on her is probably the better way to say it.

Sarah: Well, there's no shoulder pads, so that's that's 1 plus.

Eric: Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Sarah: So she starts to say she understands, but Bing continues

Eric: saying What's wrong with natural shoulders?

Sarah: At the time?

Eric: No. Regardless of at the I'm I know I'm I'm I'm violating my rule from earlier of judging things based on current standards, but I'm sorry. Never never never have battered shoulders been appealing, I don't think, to anybody.

Sarah: I mean, it's 1 of those things where, like, at the time, this was this is and I talk about society, not individual taste because society often dictates what isn't is or is not in fashion. Right? If you think about, like, the nineties and how that heroin chic look of being so thin, you look like you're gonna, like, fall apart, that became attractive. In this case, the concept of having a silhouette or, like, a very sharp silhouette was considered to be attractive. So you wanted to have that, like, those sharp lines.

Eric: Fortunately, I have never been a victim of trends.

Sarah: Yeah. Well, it what's frustrating, and I've said this before, is that, like, even kids' stuff came with them. So, like, all of my school pictures either like, everything. Every blouse I ever bought from when I was a child up until recently, I was cutting them out. That's the first thing you do is you'd get the blouse, cut out the shoulder pads because like nobody liked them.

Yeah. Yeah. The sweater is beautiful. She tells him she understands and Bing continues saying that all he ever wanted was to be like daddy. And even though it's the 1 thing he wants, it's also the 1 thing he will never let him be.

He says that because of that, he eats and spends and acts silly. He says he's tired of it. And now he has a chance to do something about it, and he's not gonna pass that up. And here's the thing. If they were planning to do anything anything in this episode and take any sort of responsibility for the fat jokes or to sort of acknowledge that the fat jokes were that that this line would would would land, but it really doesn't.

Like, his line about and I eat, and I you know, it it really doesn't land because it's the whole episode has has been like, He's fat. And now

Eric: You have no empathy for him.

Sarah: Yeah. You just you're like, okay. Well, why should I care? Because, like, you've this whole episode has made you into a joke in a in a very either physical way or or just you're a horrible human. Mhmm.

I don't really have any sympathy for you, like, at all.

Eric: Yeah. He he's he's a horrible human. You have no sympathy for him. That's No. Regardless of his weight or anything else, all that aside Yeah.

He's a he's a person that nobody wants to be friends with because his personality sucks.

Sarah: When I say he's repulsive, I don't mean I'm not talking about his physical he's repulsive as a human. Like, there's there's yeah. So he throws on a jacket, goes outside the trailer, and he basically puts the the billy club, the nightstick, whatever you want to call that thing through the handle and over the opening and traps her in there. And he gets into the rabbit and steals her car and drives away as she's yelling at him to open the door. So, yeah.

Back at the Polo Field, Steel is still playing as the tent labeled Perrette Caviar is set up. It's completely empty. There's no customers. But right beside it, Rome's tent is full of people milling around. We see the crates being unloaded from the truck as Bing drives up in the rabbit.

He sees the tent, looks around, picking up a rock and throwing it to get the attention of the 2 henchmen. They see him and Bing walks away, leading them to go after him. I'm not entirely sure what his plan was here.

Eric: But okay. Probably.

Sarah: Yeah. Because he's an idiot. The 2 men follow Bing who crosses the street and begins to run. They split up, and Bing runs to hide in the barn. 1 of the men approaches it with his gun, John, and Bing opens the top door and accidentally knocks the guy out.

He this wasn't intentional. He didn't know he was gonna be there. So

Eric: Yeah. And he had really no way of seeing through that door to know the guy was standing And

Sarah: it really shouldn't have knocked it out knocked him out. But, again, for, you know, for purpose of the plot, he's he's handled. He's gone.

Eric: Yes.

Sarah: In the distance, we see Laura being dropped off in a punch buggy. Sorry. Station wagon. Punch buggy? Punch buggy.

Yeah. Anytime you see those wood paneled station wagons, you go punch buggy and you hit somebody.

Eric: No. No.

Sarah: No. No.

Eric: That's slug bug.

Sarah: It's a punch buggy.

Eric: Slug bug. You see a Volkswagen? No. You see a Volkswagen bug, and that's a slug bug.

Sarah: This may be regional. So if anyone wants to weigh in here, I have never it's punch buggy to me. It's it's a station wagon, wood panel station wagon. It's punch buggy.

Eric: Nope. That is not a that is not a real thing. That is not a real thing. Flug bug is a real thing. Anyway I'm I'm googling it.

Sarah: Yeah. They're regional. They're regional. I'm correct.

Eric: Slug bugs are worldwide.

Sarah: Slug bugs worldwide game. I not according to Google.

Eric: Well, what is Google? No. It it tells you to put white glue on your pizza to keep the cheese from coming off.

Sarah: Canada and The UK typically go with punch buggy. Apparently, in The US, if you're in the Midwest or the South or the the Plains or the South, it's punch buggy. If you're in the Northeast and parts of the Midwest, it's a slug bug. So I am correct.

Eric: The little the little faith and trust I had in Google has just been just been destroyed

Sarah: and crushed. Laura's in a punch buggy. But who drove her? Whose wagon is that?

Eric: She hitchhiked a ride or somebody from the studio gave her a lift.

Sarah: I don't know. Maybe. Or she's going? Hey. I mean,

Eric: if if you were driving down the road and somebody like her was hitchhiking a ride, if you were a guy, you'd stop.

Sarah: Fair enough. So, yeah, she sees the henchmen on the ground outside the barn, and she goes inside. Inside, Bing is cornered by the other man. He tells him, go ahead and shoot and ask him if he knows how hard it is to stop a charging rhino.

Eric: It reminds me of the guy from, atomic man. Yeah.

Sarah: You may they may get him, but not before he mauls them.

Eric: That's right.

Sarah: Okay. Laura grabs a shovel and sneaks up behind him. The man points the gun at Bing and tells him to shut up and die. And sadly, Laura stops him by hitting him with a shovel. It's unfortunate, but Bing survives another But

Eric: I don't know what it is, but it's not a

Sarah: shovel. Whatever.

Eric: It's something.

Sarah: She hits him with something, and, unfortunately, Bing doesn't die. So he's still around. He falls to the ground, taking her with him. Oh, thank god. I thought he was gonna shoot me.

Yeah. Because you threw a rock and got his attention and then walked into a barn to let him shoot you. Yeah. You know, you might as well have been wearing a sign that says, I'm a moron.

Eric: Please shoot.

Sarah: F a

Eric: f o.

Sarah: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. 100%. Oh, look.

The consequences of my actions.

Eric: Yeah. What a thing. Who would've who would've thought?

Sarah: Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

Eric: That's right.

Sarah: Yeah. Meanwhile, on the polo field, Steele hits the ball, the crowd claps. He lee he leads his horse down the field, and Marty rides up beside him, telling him that he will have his day yet. He always does. Steele tells him not to bet on that.

Not yet, anyway. And just as he says this, a yell can be heard coming from Rome's tent. Steele and Marty ride their horses over to the tent. Marty gets down as 1 of the buyers clutches his mouth in pain. He looks at the evidence on his hand, and in shock realizes the caviar he just ate is not in fact caviar at all, but a ball bearing.

Eric: What's wouldn't somebody have noticed before they got into the mouth? I don't know. I I don't know. I don't I don't do caviar.

Sarah: So Maybe I'm yeah. I don't know either. But, yeah, you'd certainly notice when you put it in your mouth.

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Sarah: Steel comments that it's Bulgarian, he believes, and Marty says don't be absurd. He inspects the caviar, but obviously does not like what he sees. He rushes to open the crate. Yvonne appears, and he and Mildred watch as he opens the crate to reveal the ball bearings. Panicking, Marty opens the next crate, and the body of Danisovich falls out.

The crowd gasps, and Marty makes a run for it. Steel, still on the horse, tells people to mind their backs as he guides the horse through the tent and goes after Marty. He jumps off the horse and onto Marty tackling him to the ground, pulls him up, punches him, and then comedically clutches his fist in pain as Murky falls back onto the ground. I love that.

Eric: We have a comment. We have a comment. Okay. A listener says that punch buggy in New England US, where she was raised or he was raised, same rules as slug bug, what her Midwest or his his this person's Midwest born husband calls it.

Sarah: Yes. There's a point for for punch buggy. Whoo.

Eric: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All all such comments are disqualified and no longer valid. You have been permanently banned.

Sarah: We need T shirts. We need mine should say punch buggy, and yours needs to say slug bug. We need the I was thinking about that. Or T shirts where mine says, like, he wrote a note or he did not write a note, Yours says he wrote a note. I'm just saying.

Yeah. So yeah. Yay. Much buggy. Laura and Bing run up, and Bing exclaims his name in surprise, and Steele clutching his hands says, I know.

Put it on your bill. What's he referring to here? Put what on his bill?

Eric: The the doctor's doctor's bill from the the hand.

Sarah: Oh, sorry. Wow. I apologize. That is my Canadian To me, that never I that joke flew right over my head. I put the horse on his bill, the caviar.

What's he put? Okay. Yeah. Got it. Doctor's bill.

I feel stupid. I feel stupid.

Eric: Yeah. Well, I mean, what do you expect from somebody who believes in Punchbuggy? Hey.

Sarah: Hey. To be fair, okay, if it were here, he'd just go to the doctor, and he'd pay for parking, and that's about it. So it just didn't it never occurred to me. It just Yeah. At the offices for Perrette Caviar, we see Bing take a drink of water from the fountain, and he's trying to get the courage to go into his father's office.

Laura, Mildred, and Steele are there to cheer him on. Why? Why? Why or why?

Eric: Client obligation, I guess.

Sarah: It's not. It's not.

Eric: And I am disappointed in that sweater that they have Laura slash Stephanie in. That should be a sweater dress.

Sarah: It should be. Yeah. I thought the same thing. It should have, like, a a belt around it and then be more of

Eric: a And then just nothing.

Sarah: I was

Eric: gonna say nothing underneath it, but, I mean, you know what I mean?

Sarah: Underwear, I hope.

Eric: Well, well, that yeah. I I meant yeah.

Sarah: You should probably stop talking now.

Eric: Oh, yeah. Oh, that reminds me. Oh, I was in all the ignorance of of saying things that you mean the way they come out. I was in college, and I knew this gal talking about her looks. And she was kind of short, but I'll say significantly well endowed.

And she was talking about for some reason, she had this idea that guys, you know, weren't attracted to her because of being top heavy. And I made the comment of and I went over there 1 day and she was dressed in something and she apologized for her looks. I said I said, don't worry about it. You'd look you'd you'd even look good in a bed sheet. And it's like, oh.

Sarah: No. No.

Eric: That's not what I meant. And and I didn't even she she caught it before I did. It's like

Sarah: That's funny.

Eric: Not what I meant, but

Sarah: okay. Whoops.

Eric: True, but not what I meant.

Sarah: Yep. I know. I get it. That's funny, though. So, yeah, for some reason, they're there to support Bang.

I Yes. No idea why, but whatever.

Eric: Client obligation. Yes.

Sarah: Yeah. Sure. He maybe to to ensure they actually get their check. Maybe that's it.

Eric: Exactly. Yeah.

Sarah: He walks towards the door and then turns around saying that he's scared and can't do it. Laura says, of course, you can. And Steele tells him about an old Somali proverb, a brave man and I feel like an idiot because I'm looking this up. Right? And then we get to the end, and he's like, it's a movie reference,

Eric: of course.

Sarah: But I'm just, like, googling and try to find this Somali pro brave man is only afraid of a lion 3 times in his life. When he first sees the tracks, when he first hears it roar, and when he first looks it in the eye. Steele tells him to have a stiff upper lip and watch his backside. Laura hugs him. Why?

And goes back to the door. He throws it open and says, daddy. I mean, Dad, it's time to have a man to man talk. There's gotta be some changes around here. Steele smiles as he goes into the office.

He listens out the door for a moment. Mildred says she loved that story about the lion, and Steele says, Gregory Peck to Robert Preston, of Comer Affair, United Artist, 1957. Peck plays a safari guide, and Preston, a big game hunter. Laura thinks for a moment and says Preston was killed in that 1, wasn't he?

Eric: Oh, come on. You're telling me Lord knows about this movie.

Sarah: I mean, maybe she saw it. Who knows?

Eric: I I mean, it's 1947. I think it was probably a a b movie at best. Okay. Maybe Steele made her watch it, but I I can't imagine that it was available on DVD or VHS.

Sarah: Wait. Maybe. You're right, though. Maybe Steele made her watch it because he's now got that VCR. But I don't think

Eric: it was ever released on VHS.

Sarah: I don't know. They went to see it at a a theater that was showing old movies.

Eric: Just go ahead. Yeah.

Sarah: Sure. Right. This is your issue.

Eric: Remembered it. And she remembered it.

Sarah: This is your issue. Preston was killed in that 1, wasn't he? He's minor plot point. And then he offers his arm to both women saying, shall we? As they walk away.

That could have been the tag. That could have easily been the tag. Right? And I realized that they they obviously had this extra bit probably for time, but I really like the fact that this is the actual tag because it's a really nice tie up with Yvonne, who's my favorite character in this episode, not Bing. So back at Steel's apartment, we see he's tried to recreate his romantic evening.

There's a bottle chilling in the fire. Sorry. There's a bottle chilling in the fire. I didn't finish my sentence. There's a bottle chilling, and the fire has been lit.

Eric: You you you finished your sentence. You just cut the middle out of it out and shoved the 2 ends together.

Sarah: I have a head injury. I cannot be held responsible. He pulls out the bottle and pours some into both of their glasses. She smiles, and he is delighted to have her all alone. But, of course No.

Just before they take a sip, his buzzer goes off. Steel glares at the door, but reluctantly goes to answer it. As he go opens it, Mildred and Yvonne enter, and Mildred tells him that Yvonne is on his way home. Laura is a little disappointed. She says she thought he was gonna stay a few days and go to Disneyland.

That's so cute. I can see him in Disneyland with the little Mickey ears on. Right? Like, he'd be adorable. Like, just I don't He says there's been a change of plans.

They wanna give him a medal for saving the reputation of the Russian government. Apparently, caviar is extremely important. Mildred grabs 2 glasses and Steele pours champagne for both of them, observing that he seems to have become a national hero. Yvonne comments that he prefer to have a race, and Mildred says she'll drink to that. She just got a race.

Eric: Hey. You you never have too much raises. Too too many raises. Too much raisins. I don't know.

Sarah: She strong armed them out of a raisin in coffee, tea, or steel. Now she's got another 1, or she's saying, I'll drink to that. Like, come on. Yvonne directs the toast to better relations between our 2 countries. Steele comments that he was thinking of better relations closer to home.

Yeah. And then he says bottoms up. Mildred says cheers. And then I looked up these toast because it looked like and I I wasn't sure about the pronunciation, but it looked like Steele says Tovarich, Tovarich. Tovarich, which means comrade from what I could find.

And Laura says, Nastrovia, which means to your health. And then they toasted

Eric: the freeze. Hokey, but, I mean, it's it's a little bit like Dancer Prancer's Blitzen and Steve

Sarah: or whatever. I mean, it it it is very much kind of like a very special episode tagged on to the end in the sense that it's, like, openly sort of admitting to a current political situation by with these characters. But

Eric: To me, it's it's just too much of a almost breaking the fourth wall.

Sarah: Yeah. I don't know. I I like I just like seeing Yvonne again and him talking about how he wanted to go to Disneyland. Yeah. He's cute.

He's just cute. And it's pretty much he's my only joy in this episode. So the rest of it, I just wanna, like, throttle, bang, or watch him, you know, fall down a cliff or, I don't know, die horribly.

Eric: We're addictive and evil people. We just

Sarah: yeah. Sure. I am. Anyway, I would call this the first dud of the season, and that's that's kind of my which, to be fair, still makes season 4 pretty darn good.

Eric: Mhmm. Yeah.

Sarah: Because a couple of people

Eric: Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. I too get tired of the the fat jokes. I mean but, overall, I I I thought the episode was pretty good.

You know? Had had some good moments in it. And if if you look at it as just, I'm not gonna say slapstick, but but as a there's I'm thinking of a term, and I can't think of it. But Screwball. Just not really screwball.

No. It's it's just it's it relies heavily on physical Yeah. Physical jokes, physical comedy in the in the sense of, you know, Laurel and Hardy, the the chubby guy and the skinny guy, that that sort of thing. The contrast, the spoiled brat character who doesn't seem to realize that nobody likes him. It it has some humor, and I'll I'll admit it's dated humor.

But, I mean, overall, I I thought it was a decent episode myself.

Sarah: I don't know if it's maybe I would have had a little bit more patience for it in season 2 or season 1 or something like that, but I think I don't know. I think just the overall quality of season 4 of this episode strikes me as particularly bad, and I just kind of like

Eric: Well, that's

Sarah: And it's

Eric: that's the that's the thing about it is it's, it's it's an unfair competition being in season 4.

Sarah: Well and and the thing is, I think I we've talked about how before the show is so good at choosing their guest stars and how the guest stars often make this the episode that much better. And in this case, I feel like he is a detriment, and that's why it kinda drags

Eric: the I don't think he's a detriment to me in the sense that he is being with this character exactly what the script called for. I would say he's actually he is a perfect fit for this character, and he does it well. Now the the character is repulsive.

Sarah: Yeah. That's kinda what I mean. Like,

Eric: they they

Sarah: usually write their guest characters a bit I don't know. There's a bit more passion. There's there's, yeah, there's more depth to them. They're not just Yeah. These extremely 1 dimensional caricatures.

Yeah. Like like, even even Rocky Sullivan who, you know, is supposed to be this

Eric: She was definitely treated with a lot more compassion. You definitely felt definitely felt more for her. And I didn't like Rocky, but you definitely felt more for her than you did for Bing. Yes.

Sarah: She's yeah. She's got layers to her that that Bing just doesn't have. So I I yeah, it just doesn't work for me. And I Somebody because we had commented on We read that letter, that email that was sent to us in And Premium, I think it a few people commented on the Facebook group about season 4, and and they weren't the people that wrote the original letter, but both said that, they felt that their relationship suffered in season 4 because they don't push them any forward at all. But I actually think that we see a lot more forward movement with Laura and Steele.

I mean, do they sleep together? No. Not not canonically anyway. I mean, there's obviously the the assumption that they are, but the writers just don't acknowledge it. Canonically, they say they haven't, but we do see them communicating more.

We see them actually talking about their problems. We see, yeah, there's the stuff in, you know, with BJ Sinclair or whatever, but like we actually see in, you know, when he goes to jail, that conversation between them when she gets him out. We see the conversation between them in in premium where he admits to being scared, and they have that moment in the hotel room. Like, there's later on when we get to even with Dancer Prince or Donner, like, the the exchanges they have about the gun or later on when we get to Sensitive Steel, there's a lot of moments in the in this season where they have adult conversations that they haven't had up until this point, and I like that. So

Eric: Well, you know, we've had we we've talked about in the past how the relationship between the 2 is very much a a TV style relationship Yeah. And not necessary not necessarily reflective of how real life relationships go. But in the sense that you're talking about, this season kind of parallels a real life relationship

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: In the sense that when you first meet somebody and for the first year or 2, there is that very sharp rise in in the forward movement. You know, you you get a lot of forward movement between people early on in the relationship because they're learning more about each other and all this is going on. But then after a while, after a couple of years, the forward momentum slows down because you already know a lot of that basic stuff that you've already gotten through. There isn't as much to learn at that point. And so Yeah.

The revelations, the progress in the relationship, it continues, but it's at a much slower pace. I mean, you think about your relationship, you know, with anybody, whether it be your your husband now or past boyfriends or whatever.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: It it it it goes in this cycle where it's it goes fast early on, and then it slows down. It's more comfortable, but you're still making forward progress because they're still

Sarah: I actually think for Laura and Steele, it's kinda the opposite in the sense that they weren't making any progress in terms of their their relationship in the first couple of seasons. Like, they were

Eric: But the interest was there. And, like Season 2, season 3, it started especially after the thaw, it started that faster acceleration. Yeah. But, see, they already had all this stuff behind them already. Yeah.

And so they they've reached this point where the rate of acceleration has slowed down.

Sarah: Yeah. Well, now they're having the conversations that they should have had in the beginning. Those conversations where they are learning to communicate properly instead of just jumping to conclusions or

Eric: And when you start but see, there's 2 levels of communication. There's the getting to know somebody conversations that extend quite a ways in to the relationship. And and those are those do tend to carry the thing forward fast and furious because they're not that deep a conversation.

Sarah: Yeah.

Eric: When you start getting into the deep conversations, things slow down because those conversations take time and effort. Mhmm. And it just naturally slows the progress down, but it's it's it's it's a change of direction. The forward progress is slower, but the depth

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. Starts increasing. Learning how to appropriately resolve conflicts with 1 another and learning to do it with care and compassion and and listening to where the other person's at. And that stuff is as

Eric: They're trading the They're trading the forward momentum for depth momentum.

Sarah: Yeah. And it's not as flashy or exciting visually, but it's more, like, meaningful on screen to see them have those moments where she admits that she was scared he was gonna leave, and he promises he's not leaving. Or, you know, the scene in the the hotel room where she just thanks him for being him, which is, like Mhmm. Groundbreaking for them because she's always been the kind of person who sort of blames him for being him. Yeah.

Now it's like, thank you for being here and for being you. So Yeah. I don't know. I just I love the fourth season because we get those moments. I love the I think the for the most part, the the stories are good.

The guest stars are good. This episode's the exception, in my opinion. But even, like, I would, yes, I would skip this. If I were doing a rewatch, I would just be like, we're going to the next 1. I'm not gonna miss anything.

I didn't, obviously, because, you know, this ended up being my episode too. But, you know, as far as like, there's still enjoyable moments in it. I I I don't wanna, like, you know, chew tinfoil the whole time, or anything. So yeah. But the next episode, actually, we should probably, like yeah.

Get there, dad. The freeze on the website, www.steelwatching.com. You'll find show notes, links to Amazon US and Amazon Canada, and probably, I don't know, all those shows he mentioned maybe.

Eric: I don't think any of those are available in any form of video. I will I will look,

Sarah: but I

Eric: don't think they are.

Sarah: Mod squad might be. Mod squad might be.

Eric: Mod squad might be. Yeah.

Sarah: Maybe. But, yeah, there's also social media resources such as?

Eric: The links to the official steel watching Facebook group, Twitter, Instagram pages, and then, of course, the links to the ever popular, but always unofficial steel watchers fan group where we get together and we make fun of people who do that that other foreign game. What what what do they call it? Punchy bunny bunny or

Sarah: Punch buggy versus slug bug, and I'm putting up a poll now that you've done this. I'm putting up a poll. And on that note, the next episode will be suburban steel. So

Eric: Francis and UFOs.

Sarah: I like this next 1. I'm excited about the next 1. So bye bye.

Eric: Bye bye, everybody.