Sara: 0:18

Welcome to Steele Watching, which is a podcast for Remington Steele fans. My name is Sarah Sarah. I don't know my own name. My name is Sarah, and I'm from sector b yellow division, 2nd assistant management division of logistics and redundancies.

Eric: 0:37

Okay. I I I presume that that's going to be explained later on as is mine. I'm Eric, and I've never oh, what what's the line? Oh, can't think of it. I didn't write it down. I can't tell you it. I've never made a secret of the fact that, basically, I'm on my way to Australia. There we go.

Sara: 1:03

Fair enough. Mine was a reference to all the bureaucracy in the episode, you know, all the clearance and

Eric: 1:09

Mine is a reference to a particular scene

Sara: 1:11

Gotcha. Okay.

Eric: 1:12

Indirectly.

Sara: 1:16

Is there anything we need to talk about before we we get into this lovely fan favorite episode? Sorry. Trying to keep a straight face.

Eric: 1:25

No. Not that I can think of.

Sara: 1:27

Cool. The universe

Eric: 1:28

The wants us to fact that I'm not a fan of Laura's Stephanie's hair in this episode, but that's

Sara: 1:35

Before or after she goes through the wind tunnel.

Eric: 1:38

Well, Afterwards is understandable, but beforehand, no. No. No. No. No. No.

Sara: 1:46

That's fair enough. I would say after the wind tunnel is not really her fault.

Eric: 1:51

No. So anyway, yeah. No. I don't think we've got anything to to do before that. So

Sara: 1:56

Alright. Well, I guess the universe just wants us to dive right into this gem. Yes. So we are gonna be talking about season 4 episode 22, the infamous Bonds of Steele or the episode that jumped the shark. However, you wanna see it. The episode 1st aired on 05/10/1986, and it was written by Jeff Melvoyne and directed by Seymour Robby. So Seymour Seymour. Seymour's back. There were some notes in Judith's book that I I wanted to kind of point out. And I mean, this is something that we would note anyway. But the 2nd appearance of Nancy Everhard, who was Clarissa, the call girl from Steele and the Family. But interestingly, I've come across her in 2 other shows since we started this podcast and probably had seen her in these things before and just never clocked it. But she plays a rival, 1 of Lois Lane's sort of former college rivals in Lois and Clark. And she had a semi regular role on the TV series Everwood, which was kind of like a teen drama circa mid 2 thousands ish where it was about a neurosurgeon who moved to this like little out of the, like, nowhere town in Colorado after his wife passed away and his kids have to get used to like, no longer being in New York, but being in this tiny little town. And she played the mother of a boy who had been in a car accident, was in a coma that he was trying to save. So, it's interesting just that I was like, oh, hey, wait a minute. I know her. That's Clarissa the hooker. Except, you know, not. So, yeah, this is the 2nd time she appears. And it says here as well, the original script contained a scene in which Laura hears that Remington is planning to marry Clarissa and tells him, if you're gonna marry anybody, it's to be me. Both Stephanie and Pierce shot down the scene and it was replaced with the think of something scene. So that's kind of interesting that Mhmm. That they would take that out and replace it with what they replaced it with. So I don't know how I feel about that, frankly. I honestly genuinely don't know how I feel about that. So that says something, because usually I have a pretty definite opinion.

Eric: 4:07

Yeah. I I I think in the context of the last 4 seasons, it would have made sense.

Sara: 4:15

I yeah. Yeah. But Maybe I do know what I think about it.

Eric: 4:20

But I I I guess I can see Pearson and Stephanie's position on it because supposedly this was going to be the final episode of the series and they didn't want to be, you know, hokey and okay. Well, final episode, we're gonna marry him for real. And

Sara: 4:40

Well, that was that was another question that I had because and maybe maybe some other fans will know more about the timing here. But had it been announced that they were being renewed when this episode was filmed, is what I would like to know. Because if it hadn't been announced that they were getting renewed, that they really did think this was the last episode, that's a crappy way to end a TV series.

Eric: 5:01

I don't think that's that's the appropriate question here, because I I think the discussion between Stephanie and Pierce and Michael Gleason or whoever was on the production side of it with regard to that particular scene, that probably took place quite a bit before it was filmed. And so, you know, that discussion was over and done. They'd already decided that they weren't going to include that, and then, like, the network came along and said, oh, yeah. Well, we're gonna get you 6 more episodes next year. So I think they made some minor adjustments probably after that point, but I don't know.

Sara: 5:39

Yeah. Well, I I was just curious in general when they filmed this episode because, like, if that if that really was intended to be the final scene of the series Mhmm. That's a really crappy way to end it just in general because it is technically a cliffhanger and they're not not that every show has to have a happily ever after, but that's kind of a miserable ever after. That last shot is really not something that I think

Eric: 6:02

people It would kept the myth going though of the fake guy Yeah. Fake marriage and so I I guess I

Sara: 6:09

had always

Eric: 6:10

see them wanting to keep that.

Sara: 6:11

I guess I had always assumed that by the time that was filmed, his their contracts had already been renewed and they knew they were going into 6 more episodes and that was the jumping off point. But again, I could be wrong. And I don't know. So I'm wondering who like, if there's anyone out there that knows, let us know. Because because it's something I've always wondered. I've always wondered, was this film before they got sucked back in or was this filmed after? Because it kinda changes how the writers it kinda changes my perspective on

Eric: 6:40

on it. Think that generally speaking, the and I'm just going from an impression here based on everything I've read about television and and their process and such that the deadline for renewing a show is generally before the last episode films.

Sara: 7:02

Right.

Eric: 7:02

How far in advance of that, I don't know. Or is that always the case? I don't know. But I'm I'm gonna say Fair enough. I would think that they had an idea that it was gonna go on at this point.

Sara: 7:14

Yeah. But Interestingly enough, my husband and I have been going through all the James Bond movies, starting with Connery and and going like, watching all of them. And last night, we got up to Connor or not Connor, Brosnan. Like, last night, we did Golden Eye. That was it's kind of like precipitous that it timed out the way it did. Mhmm. And it was funny to kind of like watch it with this episode being the next day. Like, here's what he would have looked like had he played Bond in'86, and here's what he looked like in '95. And honestly, I think it was a good call to let him to have him wait a bit because he's clearly more sort of confident and mature in the part in '95. In '86, I think he was still in that sort of slapsticky in his early thirties. He's young. Right? So

Eric: 8:01

Well, I think his appearance

Sara: 8:02

Yeah.

Eric: 8:02

Also was more appropriate for the Bond character when he finally got it than it would have been in '86.

Sara: 8:09

Yeah. For sure.

Eric: 8:10

So

Sara: 8:10

So anyway, I was just that was those were the 2 notes there. And then as well that vigilante insurance is replaced with vigilance. So Yes. You've got, those little notes that were added. So the TV guide listing is what I went with because and this is because when we talked about the episode where Clarissa 1st appears, the TV guide listing went out of its way to avoid calling her a prostitute or a call girl or a hooker or anything like that. And I Mhmm. I thought it was maybe because they were hesitant to do so because it would be improper or whatever. But they don't they're not hesitant to do so here because the TV Guide listing reads, Laura has her hands full with a case while Steele is making plans to marry dash a call girl?

Eric: 8:54

Well, I think in the context of this then, that suggests that the earlier reference to Clarissa or the avoidance of of referencing her as a call girl in the TV Guide was a way of keeping the suspense, keeping the secret.

Sara: 9:11

Yeah. Fair enough. And it's just kind of funny because it was like, okay. I'm gonna go back and forth between the script and my notes here because Okay. The script is pretty I don't usually do that. Like, I'll I'll usually use the script to kind of point out differences, but the script is pretty faithful. However, I do love some of the descriptions in the script. So, yeah. So I I'll kind of be playing around with that. But we Okay. Start off the the 1st scene is actually kind of curious because we start off with still in the limo traveling down a Road. He's checking his watch and the phone rings. He picks it up and he announces himself, which is good because we haven't seen his face yet. And he tells whoever's on the other end that there will be a slight change of plans. He has to meet a client with miss Holt and they'll have to push back everything back in ever. In front of the limo, we can see the rabbit. Why do you think they took separate cars? I don't think we've ever seen them do that.

Eric: 10:03

I think thou art hallucinating because that is not the rabbit.

Sara: 10:13

Oh, well, she's not in the car with him, though.

Eric: 10:16

I know, but that's not the rabbit. I'm I'm pretty positive that is not a Volkswagen Rabbit in front of him. And if it is, it it would just be a matter of coincidence that he happened to be coming from someplace else

Sara: 10:27

and going the 100. I thought that was the rabbit. I I must have Uh-uh.

Eric: 10:31

Because it's not a convertible. And unless it's unless it's something that you're talking about that's way, way, way up in front of of the the limo, like, blocks away. No. The car that's immediately in front of him I'm gonna take a wild guess. I'm gonna say that's more like a like a Fiat or something like that.

Sara: 10:52

Oh, okay. I I obviously I'm not good with cars, so I just saw Have

Eric: 10:56

you ever thought about getting glasses?

Sara: 10:58

You know what? I had a I have a retort, but I can't say it here. So it starts with a 4 letter word and ends with u. You fill in the blanks. Anyway

Eric: 11:11

You wonder So that I you. No. No.

Sara: 11:13

That I guess answers my question. They're just meeting there. Interestingly, we haven't seen much of the Auburn at all this this season.

Eric: 11:20

No. We haven't.

Sara: 11:21

And I wonder if it has to do with their ability to use the like, I I I assumed that they just had the car for use on the show, but maybe they could only get it for certain like, maybe it was rented or something. I don't know.

Eric: 11:33

It just seems odd. It was not a real Auburn, 1st of all.

Sara: 11:36

It was

Eric: 11:37

a kit car.

Sara: 11:38

Right.

Eric: 11:38

2nd of all, I mean, we we know that it keeps going into the shop Yeah. For various reasons. You know? It breaks down. It's stolen and stripped for parts.

Sara: 11:49

But so does so does the rabbit, and they keep using that. So

Eric: 11:52

Well, yeah. But see, that's Laura's car, and the Auburn is Steele slash Mildred's car. So it's not as important. Do you know?

Sara: 12:01

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it was just a that was just a little footnote because we don't we yeah. Well, I think the last time we saw it was Steele in the spotlight. I don't I don't think we've seen it after that. So yeah. So we see a huge he asked if they can do if that's if if they can do that, like, meet later. The answer must be yes because he says, Splendid hangs up and tells Fred to go faster. And then I wanna read the description for a unit for the building. Okay. Because the script set calls unit deck. It says, a sprawling complex of modern buildings protected by high chain link fences and guard houses at the gates. A prominent sign at the main gates sports a space age logo in the words UNIDEC Corporation where the future begins.

Eric: 12:42

The company gets things done.

Sara: 12:45

Yeah. Right? Like, because we don't actually know what this company is or what they're supposed to be doing No. Which is kind of funny because that's the whole case. That's the whole center of the case as well. This project that does not exist. And it's also the whole thesis of the show a man that does not exist that Laura has created. He's basically an empty file folder.

Eric: 13:07

That's a good way to put it.

Sara: 13:09

He's project Omega, but on, you know, a smaller scale. So it's really quite funny to see these layers added here. We've got this company. We have no idea what they do. We've got this project that doesn't really exist. And we've got Steele and Laura figuring that out with Steele as basically that sort of symbolic stand in for that. So I will give the writers some credit for that because as as frustrating as this episode is there are some amusing points to it and that's that's 1 of them. So then and I again, I'm gonna read from the script for this opening sequence too because it was really well described. We've got over a long empty corridor. It is early morning. No 1 yet at work. Production note. Due to the high security, everyone at Unidec wears ID badges. Different colors signify different security clearances. A brief series of shots helps establish both the vastness of UNIDEC and the quiet of the hour. So we've got a large empty secretarial pool area, another long corridor, the president's office empty, immaculately appointed several models of of missiles, so I'm guessing it's it says satellites and spacecraft discreetly displayed. The only sound, the gurgling from a saltwater aquarium. Then we've got the lobby, silent, waiting.

Close in on a time clock reading 08: 14:18

59. With an abrupt click, the minute hand jumps a notch.

09: 14:23

00, all hell is about to break loose.

Eric: 14:27

Well, okay. Here's my question. How is it that everybody just all the elevator doors

Sara: 14:34

just happen to open right

Eric: at 09: 14:36

00, and everybody just comes that's not the I'm sorry. That's not the real world. No. No. Is. I

Sara: 14:42

think this is I think that's deliberate, though. I think it's deliberately meant to satirically kind of mock corporate culture. That whole concept of 9 to 5, you you know, you get there right at 9, you punch out at 5, and you're done. Like, I think that I don't think the writers were trying to imply that is real life because we all know it isn't. People show up early, people show up late. Like, there's, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have hoards of people in the elevator just bursting to leave. You know? I but I do think it's it's very much kind of mocking that.

Eric: 15:11

And the only way that the doors to all the elevators would open

all together exactly 09: 15:14

00 is if there was some master switch and some guy said, okay. Everybody get in. We're gonna take the the elevator up to the floor where you're gonna get off, and we're just gonna hold you there

Sara: 15:25

Yeah.

Eric: And make you wait until 09: 15:26

00 before we open the doors, and we control the doors.

Sara: 15:32

I I definitely think it's sort of mocking the rigidity of structure and the sort of adherence to corporate policy. You get here at 9. You don't get here a minute before 9 because your shift starts at 9, so you get here at 9. Right? So but then we've got this series of shots, crisply edited, showing another bureaucratic workday exploding into life at UNIDAC. The movement and noise almost overpowering. Elevator doors open and a stream of people charge out. Coffee drips from an automatic maker into a pot. Many pairs of feet march down a hallway. Plastic covers are whisked off computer terminals. More people burst from clogged elevators. Hands dial telephones. More feet march in the opposite direction from before. A hand knocks over a Styrofoam cup of coffee on a desktop. More over a Styrofoam cup of coffee. Sorry. More people emerge from elevators. A computer screen blinks into life. Good morning. How are we today? Apparently, that's what the computer says.

Eric: 16:20

Yes. It's a very friendly computer.

Sara: 16:23

It is. Yeah. Truck with a young male clerk pushing a cart down a long aisle between secretarial stations stations on 1 side and executive offices on the other hidden behind frosted glass doors. The secretaries, all busily engaged at computer terminals or telephones, take the mail matter of factly and keep working, all but 1, Alessandra Henry. And she's described as a bright, attractive, but disheveled and slightly wacky blonde, late twenties, who stares dumbly at her computer terminal, her mind 1000 miles away. A dog eared copy of the brothers, Karamazov, lies on the desk. Hold on Alessandra as the male clerk places a small pile of mail on her desk, moves on with a raised eyebrow. The woman clearly has a problem. So I just like that description of her, the wet the dumb but wacky blonde. Because she's obviously not dumb. She's going for her PhD, but she's still kind of, like, all over the place. So

Eric: 17:14

Yeah. But, you know, that's kind of the stereotype of a blonde. And and the way the way she comes off when we get to meet her is that she is a little bit wacky.

Sara: 17:27

Yeah. She oh, for sure. The wacky part fits 100.

Eric: 17:31

Yes. And definitely disheveled. Yes.

Sara: 17:34

Yeah. Yeah. And she she has appeared on the series before, because I pointed it out when we saw her 1st show up, and I now can't remember where, which is ironic. But it I I do remember that you were like, no, that's not her. I'm like, no, that's definitely her. And then I looked it up, and I was right. I've already forgotten which episode it was, but this is her 2nd appearance too. So, yeah, if anybody remembers, feel free to tell me because I have the memory I have a memory of a goldfish. 3 seconds around the bowl, and I'm going, hey, look, a castle. Hey, look, a castle.

Eric: 18:05

I, I wish I had this memory of a goldfish. I yeah. No. Definitely not.

Sara: 18:15

Anyway, her phone rings and she kinda jumps out of her skin. She answers at mister Burnett's office and tells whoever it is that mister Burnett will have to cancel for today. Whoever is on the other line asked about Thursday, she says, let me check. Covers the receiver for a few seconds, obviously doesn't actually check because she knows she can't. And then returns the call and tells to the call and tells them that Thursday would be fine and hangs up. She looks anxiously at her boss's office door and behind her, Steele's voice addresses her as Alessandra Henry. She turns and Love 1 the Steele. Ah, okay. Yes. That's right. Thank you. It's gonna bug me.

Eric: 18:49

That was courtesy of Judith Moose's book, Steele Loved After All These Years.

Sara: 18:55

Thank you, Judith. But, yeah. So she turns and he introduces both himself and Laura. They both have on blue tags that say visitor on them, so that's obviously color coding them as visitors. Her face breaks out into a huge relieved smile, and she says, thank God. Laura prompts her to tell them what's wrong by reminding her that she said it was urgent. So she asked them to follow her, gets up, and unlocks the door to her boss's office. They enter, and the the so the script here is quite funny as well, because it says, close on David Burnett, seated in his chair, head down on his desk, a letter opener sticking out of his back, decidedly dead. I was like, when they're like, quite dead or really dead. It's I don't know that there's degrees to dead, but he's decidedly dead.

Eric: 19:40

Apparently, there are because everybody keeps giving these you know, on a scale of 1 to 10, how dead is he type things. Yes.

Sara: 19:48

Yeah. Exactly. So he's decidedly dead, which is Mhmm. More than a little dead, I guess, and less than a lot dead. I don't know. So, yeah, they see the letter opener in his back and Steele comments that urgent was an apt description, and Laura starts to say, this man is, but Alessandra cuts her off. I know.

Eric: 20:05

Urgent probably really wasn't an apt description because

Sara: 20:09

Okay.

Eric: 20:10

Yeah. Them getting there any sooner or any later wouldn't have made a difference. He's still dead.

Sara: 20:15

Well, that's true. That's true.

Eric: 20:18

Unless before this, he was not quite decidedly dead.

Sara: 20:22

Well, I don't know. He's decidedly implies he's been there for a while, but yeah. Laura asked her why she didn't call the police. And Alessandra says, because I killed him. And I'm realizing how that sounds, she amends her statement saying it looks like she killed him. She says that that's her letter opener, and then she goes over and shows him the computer monitor screen, which has a note supposedly from her boss saying he can't do this anymore, and he's going back to his wife. She tries to delete she's pressing the button. She says, I can't delete it. It's locked in the main computer somehow. And I don't remember enough about eighties computers to know if that was possible. But do you? Was it possible to have, like, just a message on there that you can't get rid of?

Eric: 20:59

I believe there was a way that you could disable the keyboard.

Sara: 21:06

Okay.

Eric: 21:06

So the keyboard on his computer or on his terminal would be disabled. So hitting the keys on

Sara: 21:13

it,

Eric: 21:13

the computer would just simply ignore it.

Sara: 21:16

Right. She could still turn it off, though, could she not?

Eric: 21:19

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sara: 21:22

Or unplug it? Like

Eric: 21:25

But, yeah. Depending on how the computer's set up, it could just be that when they turn it back on, it would come right back up to that.

Sara: 21:34

Fair enough. But, yeah, it doesn't look good either way. Looks real bad. Yeah. Yeah. Decidedly bad. Decidedly bad. Yes. Oh, and so Laura kind of says slow down and asked if he she and Burnette were having an affair and she insists that they weren't. She says that there were rumors that he had a bad marriage and that she was someone to talk to a friend and the look between them, like, they don't believe her. And to be fair, I don't blame them because that's usually the excuse that that people who are having enough, like, he had a I bad was someone to talk to. We're just friend. Okay. Sure.

Eric: 22:15

Friends with benefits, but still just friends.

Sara: 22:18

And I mean, even if they weren't physical, that description alone kinda sounds like an emotional affair. A little bit. Maybe not on her part, but at least on his because, like, I don't know. Boss subordinate telling her all his marital problems, like, it just feels like a stepping over boundaries. Yeah. Either way,

Eric: 22:39

I mean Give give me some support. May Yeah. Yeah. Me feel better about it all.

Sara: 22:45

Yes. Oh. Yeah. Exactly. It sounds I mean, if they hadn't been having an affair, maybe Burnett was working towards that is what I'm thinking. Yeah. But she she asked Steele and Laura if he looks like her type, and Steele kinda he tilts his head. I like the the physical, like, he tilts his head, and he's like, no, it's hard to tell at this angle. Laura tells her to go on and she says that last night he called her and told her something strange is going on here. She says he wanted to meet early to talk about it and she came in and there he was and then she

Eric: 23:17

So how did she get up there if if if nobody was there before

09: 23:21

00?

Sara: 23:21

That's what I'm wondering.

Eric: 23:22

Yeah. Because the implication from what we saw is that the elevators

are turned off before 09:00 or a couple of minutes before 09: 23:26

00. Now granted, they usually have stairs, but you'd think they would have some sort of security on them. So, yeah, I mean, it just it okay. Doesn't quite fit, but okay.

Sara: 23:41

Supposed

Eric: 23:41

to. Hand wave.

Sara: 23:42

Hand wave. Yeah. We're just gonna do I'll do

Eric: 23:45

the hand wave because we've got wedding dresses in this, so no.

Sara: 23:48

Okay. What is there a sweater fetish as well as wedding dress fetish? Is this

Eric: 23:53

I didn't

Sara: 23:53

say that. A thing?

Eric: 23:55

I didn't say that.

Sara: 23:56

Okay. But, yeah, she says he was skewered. And then I love I love that description too. Disguisedly dead. Stabbed could've worked, but no. No. We went with skewered. Remington checks his watch. We see Steele checking his watch, and then he says, excuse us, and pulls Laura aside, and then and then cites the film. They won't believe me. Laura says, who won't? He says, Robert Young, Susan Hayward, RKO 1947. Young tries to disguise the death of his girlfriend, and she interrupts him with, you think she's lying? And still kinda hems and haws and says, well, in Robert Young's case and Laura points out, if I were a killer, I don't think I'd call in a pair of hotshot detectives to investigate, but they've done that before. Mhmm. We've had that happen before. So it's not that out of the realm. They've been hired several times by the bad guy. Mhmm. So I it's not I I get that he's jumping to a conclusion himself, but so is she. Yes. They're both kind of jumping to yeah. Steele says there's no harm in provoking a conversation. And this is the 2nd time she calls him Phil Donahue because she says Yeah. I was gonna say that.

Eric: 25:01

Yeah. She's okay. Somebody has a thing for Phil Donahue at

Sara: 25:03

this point. I Laura's really, really enjoying Phil Donahue.

Eric: 25:07

Well, I think some of the writers have a thing for Phil Donahue. Yeah.

Sara: 25:11

She looks back at Alessandra and asks if she knew what he wanted to talk about when he said something strange was going on. Alessandra admits this whole place is strange and that she's only working there until she finishes her dissertation on Dostoevsky. So I looked up Dostoevsky because I I I know who he is roughly, but I was curious. And I'm I'm not gonna be able to pronounce the rest of his name. Theodore Mikhailovich. I'm sorry. If anybody here is Russian, I apologize. But he was a Russian philosopher, novelist, short story writer, essayist, journalist. He's regarded as 1 of the greatest novelists in both Russian and world literature and many of his works are considered highly influential masterpieces. His literary works explore the human condition in the troubled political social and spiritual atmospheres of 19th century Russia. So his most notable books that we would kind of recognize, I think mainly would be Crime and Punishment. Mhmm. But there's also The Idiots, Demons, The Adolescent, The Brothers Karamazov, and Notes from the, From Underground. So that's kind of who he is, and and that kind of gives us her her background of

Eric: 26:13

studying studying exactly? I'm going to presume she's studying Russian literature or something like that.

Sara: 26:19

She says later that she's studying literature. Yeah.

Eric: 26:21

So Yeah. So Yeah. You're right. She does say that. Yeah. So I'm gonna say that, basically, what she's doing is studying to be a barista at Starbucks.

Sara: 26:31

Well, it depends on what you're gonna do with with that. Like, you could become a professor yourself with a PhD.

Eric: 26:36

You're going to be you're going to spend all this money to get a PhD to get a job as a teacher because that's that seems like it's circular. You know? Well, we're gonna study literature. Why? Well, so we can teach literature.

Sara: 26:55

Well, I'm not saying that's the only thing you could do, but that would be 1 of the things she could do with it. I I I I I don't know. I I personally think that it's worthwhile. Coming from an English teacher, it is worthwhile to study literature.

Eric: 27:07

Well, it is. But, I mean, to to get a PhD in literature, I I mean, that's

Sara: 27:12

Well, where do where do our where do our academic texts come from? Where do we sort of, like, look at things like symbolism? And but not it's not just studying the literature itself. It's looking at the social and political context that the book You know, people

Eric: 27:27

can do that without spending 10 years getting a piece of paper. And in fact, they used to do that before these Ivy League, you know, $100,000 a year universities existed.

Sara: 27:39

Well, I mean, it it there's I think there's valid academia, like, validity to it. I think it's important to have courses that can guide people through these these things. Like, because it's not just literature itself. You're looking at, like I said, social political context surrounding impact that it has on culture. And there needs to be sort of leaders in this field. And sure, people can be autodidactic and study it on their own, but we also have texts that we look at and go by, and those are the people that get their PhDs, publish their works, allow people to other other people to read their works and then publish their own works.

Eric: 28:15

It's And then re regurgitate, regurgitate, regurgitate. How about how about studying it for yourself? Forget what the so called experts say that learned to regurgitate from their instructors who learned to regurgitate from their instructors and just study it on your own and learn.

Sara: 28:32

It's not though, because I I mean, I took a lot of literature courses in university, obviously. It's not just regurgitating what your professor says. You're you're providing new ideas and and sort of furthering the conversation. We actually had my university was kind of unique in the sense that I don't know if other universities do this in The States or anything. But in Ontario, it was the only 1 that required anybody in the humanities to not just take a lecture course. Like, if you were to take, say, for example, 18th century literature, you wouldn't just be sitting in a lecture hall. You had to have a seminar as well. And the seminars were smaller groups. They were like 10 people. So they'd have a bunch of seminars and they would all be manned by either TAs or if you got really lucky, the professor themselves. And you'd have your weekly lecture, but you'd also have your semi weekly seminars or, like, 2 a week usually where you'd go in and you've read whatever story it is and you sit in a small group and dissect it and talk about it. And, yeah, a lot of the time, you are kind of, like, going against what the reading says or you're arguing a different perspective or looking at it.

Eric: 29:35

But but only only for show because and I I go back to and this isn't related to literature, but it is related to the same point. The guy that founded FedEx, that was his thesis in college. He was failed by his professor for the thesis because it wouldn't work.

Sara: 29:54

Yeah. I'm not saying

Eric: 29:54

because every professor is free. Everybody was just regurgitating. Oh, they might dress it up a little bit, make it look a little bit different, take a slightly different argument on on 1 key point. But, you know, basically, it was the same thing over and over again. And and that's the way colleges are. I mean, if you don't toe the line, you don't graduate. That's some way.

Sara: 30:15

No. No. I would push against that because I I didn't toe the line a lot in university, and I still managed to graduate. So somehow We're

Eric: 30:23

not talking about your partying.

Sara: 30:25

No. No. Trust me. I'm not here. Anyway, she's this is what she's getting her PhD in. So Steele asks what her boss and I wonder how she's like, this is a 9 to 5. Where when is she going to school? When is she she like, doing her yeah. But this is a p like, a PhD is not typically a part time thing. It's usually something that you're devoting pretty much all your time to.

Eric: 30:50

What about summer courses for PhDs?

Sara: 30:53

I've I mean, I don't know how common those are. Here, I know because I knew several people that were going for their PhD, it's more because you not only have to you're not only studying, you also have to be TA ing and teaching as well as publishing works yourself. Like, you have to publish,

Eric: 31:09

like Maybe she's job sharing.

Sara: 31:11

You know, it just seems weird to have her be a full time secretary and going for her PhD, but I maybe you can do it part time in the eighties. I don't know. This is different world, so But

Eric: 31:21

I mean, there are people that that certainly the the people that do it are are older. They're they've been out of

Sara: 31:32

Yeah.

Eric: 31:32

School for a long time, but there are people who go back in their forties and fifties and sixties and get True. Advanced degrees. Presumably, they are having to still pay the bills.

Sara: 31:44

So Yeah. That's true.

Eric: 31:45

Well, I some way of doing it. I I just don't Here, know what it

Sara: 31:48

think there is some like, you do have a salary if you're PhD. I don't know. I could be I I didn't get my PhD, so I could be blowing smoke here. But anyway

Eric: 31:58

That explains

Sara: 31:58

Steele all the asks what her boss did, and she says, procurement division, middle level associate cost accountant. And then she shrugs. I was never sure exactly what he did. And this is this is like, this made me think of Friends, the TV show Friends. So not a Buffy reference, but if you've ever seen the show Friends No. All of the characters in the show, it was a running joke that they had these beautiful upscale Manhattan apartments and none of them really had jobs that should have been able to afford a beautiful upscale Manhattan apartment. Like, Monica was a part time chef. She says her grandmother left her the apartment as a subret, like a sublet, but it still doesn't really explain how she was able to afford it. And then Rachel who lives with her was worked as a waitress at the coffee house. Phoebe, we don't really ever know what Phoebe did as far as I'm aware. Joey was like an a struggling out of work actor later on in the series.

Eric: 32:56

Managed to get that's very profitable job.

Sara: 32:58

Yeah. Well, hint he lives across the hall with Chandler. Right? And then he later on in the series manages to get a work on a soap opera, but at the beginning for the 1st few seasons, he's like barely scoring any kind of acting work and Chandler goes to work at an office job, which is a 9 to 5 and it was a running joke in the series that nobody knew what Chandler did at all. Like, could never there was even an episode where they ended up having this trivia contest. The only 1 that had a a sort of a grown up job was Ross, who was a paleontologist, but he didn't live in that building. So you can kind of understand why he would have like, he had a a prestigious job at a university. He could be he could afford his apartment. But they have there's 1 episode where they have this, like, trivia battle for Monica's apartment. Whoever wins gets to get their apartment, basically. So if the boys won, they'd have to switch. And 1 of the questions was, what does Chandler do for a living? And none of them knew. And I think Rachel ended up saying, he's a trans sponsor. And he's like, a what? So, obviously, the girls lost. The boys had to switch their apartments and they actually did switch the sets so that the boys were living in their apartment for a while and they were living in the other 1 for a while. But, this made me think of that. I was like, he's a trans monster. That's what he does.

Eric: 34:12

Well, mean, you look at the title, procurement division middle level associate cost account. Okay. So he has something to do with numbers and and cost accounting, but, yeah, the rest of it is just kind of like 1 of those titles. Well, we're gonna make it sound, you know, really impressive. But in reality, your job is a you're a janitor, you know.

Sara: 34:32

It's corporate speak gobbledygook, which is what is that's what I was sort of joking about when I announced that I was

Eric: 34:37

Yes.

Sara: 34:38

Sector 7 level whatever. It's also Scott's job. Because Scott, I joke, I have always been joke like, joked that he is Chandler. I don't I I've been married to him for, like, 16 years now, and do not know what he does. I don't understand. He sits I like to joke that he sits on the couch, because he works from home, and he types, and he sighs in annoyance, and that's his job. He's just like, type type type. Type type type. Because, like, I see spreadsheets, I see emails, I don't know what he's doing with them, but it's in there's numbers involved. So

Eric: 35:13

Have you noticed anybody following you or watching you suspiciously? Black cars behind you when you go to the store.

Sara: 35:22

No. But 1 1 thing I did notice, and completely unrelated to this, but I thought you would get a kick out of it given your hatred for them is we drove by a gym the other day and there was a sign outside the the gym that said, our our geese are gone. You are safe. It's the most Canadian sign I've ever seen. So I'm wondering if, like, there was a nest in the parking lot and people were, like, avoiding it because the geese were getting Yes. Biting. But, yeah, this this big sign, our geese are gone. You are safe.

Eric: 35:54

Canadian geese. I know. So,

Sara: 35:56

yeah, that's what he does, which makes no sense. Mhmm. And then Laura looks around, and she finds a key under Burnett's shoe. She lists it, and she reads the number out loud, G949. She says it's possible that Burnett was trying to hide from whoever killed him. Steele agrees, and Alessandra tells her that that would be Building G, Room 949. Laura asks what goes on there, but Alessandra admits she doesn't know what goes on down the hall. Again, another sort of dig at corporate culture. Right? So Laura says, well, shall we, mister Steele? As they walk towards the door, she panics. What about Dave? Steele opens the door and sees how busy it is outside, closes it, and says, well, I'd vote against moving him for the nonce. Alessandra protests saying, well, we can't just leave him here. And Laura smiles and says, why not? Mister Burnett's a very busy man. The 2 walk out the door loudly saying goodbye to Dave, and Alessandra tells him that she thinks she's gonna throw up. Her phone rings. Laura tells her, just pretend it's business as usual. She picks up the phone and answers, telling the caller that mister Burnett is in conference right now and can I get back to him? Laura gives her a thumbs up and they leave. Honestly, this shouldn't be this hard. I mean, secretaries put people off all the time. Mhmm. You know?

Eric: 37:07

Well, it's it's not that. It's it's as she she references later. It's it's like the telltale heart. You know? She knows what's back there. And in her mind, so does everybody else.

Sara: 37:20

Yeah. Yeah. So, no, I get it. It was just kind of like a a joke about the so we we see them walking down the hall, and again, he's checking his watch as they're as they're looking for this building. And obviously, this is kind of like building this up. She says to him, she notices him checking his watch and she's, are you in a hurry? We've been doing that all morning. He says, oh, I was running slow. They pass from 948 and turn a corner.

Eric: 37:47

Can I ask a question?

Sara: 37:49

Sure.

Eric: 37:51

When, where, and how did Steele get plans for the building? I mean, if this is supposedly such a secure facility, more importantly, such a secure facility running a scam for an office that is associated with a project that doesn't exist and the office doesn't exist. Who gave him the plans? Nobody's gonna give him the plans.

Sara: 38:15

Fair enough. Yeah.

Eric: 38:17

It wouldn't happen.

Sara: 38:18

I found this kind of funny. Just this, like, the numbers go up to 948, and then they go back to 9 0 1. Going back to my university, this reminds me of the Mackenzie Chown Complex at Brock University because this and I think I've mentioned this 1 before was the most ridiculously designed building. It's the the layout makes no sense. And I just googled because I was curious to see if I could find anything just on this complex and what Google said. The AI overview. AI overview. This is funny. This is funny because, like, normally, I avoid the AI overview and I just click on the websites below. But the AI overview says, if you are trying to find an empty room or specific room number, you are likely running into the complex's infamous maze like layout. Here's why Mackenzie Chown at Brock University is so notoriously difficult to navigate use. The maze like layout, fragmented blocks, the complex stretches across multiple blocks, a through j that do not connect on every floor. This is true.

Disconnected paths: 39:23

You cannot walk in a straight line from 1 end to the other on all levels. You need to take specific stairwells, follow different block letters, or use elevators to reach the floor you want.

Hidden entrances: 39:32

Room numbers do not always follow sequentially. It is highly recommended to follow the wall diagrams of the stairwells and corridors rather than guessing your way through. And then it says here, I found a Reddit thread. There's so many Reddit threads from people that aren't able to find anything. Somebody wrote, I have a question in MCC 400. Can anyone explain where this is or how to get there? And various responses, hard to describe in a comment section, but it's C Block on Level 4 of the building. No, I can't. Context. I'm 3rd year degree. I'm a 3rd year undergrad. You can also

Eric: 40:11

enter from the because every 3 years, they still can't buy the rope.

Sara: 40:14

That's that is that's the thing. Like, this somebody wrote, enter the interdimensional transport located under Schmann Tower. So, I just wanted to point out that this this line here just made me think of or this scene where they they come up to 948 and then it goes back to 901. I'm like, oh, they're in Mac Chown. I totally understand why they can't find the room. So, yeah. I'm sorry. Anyone who, you know, who knows Brock University. If you do, you know. If you know, you know. But, yeah. So they they the room numbers don't make any sense. This person on a scooter drives by as Laura attempts to ask for directions. She sarcastically says she's beginning to fall in love with the place and ask another woman where G949 is the woman tells her not her department to check building facilitation. Because, of course, this is another corporate Mhmm. Common corporate issue. This isn't my department. Check this department. Oh, no. Check this department. Oh, no. Check this department. And by the Well,

Eric: 41:12

it's also very much like unionism. You know, in in television, they would be very familiar with this because you've got all these highly specialized divisions of unions and well, we need we need this thing moved from here to here. Well, I can't do that because it's a prop and I'm not in the props division. But the same thing in a different context, yeah, I can move it because now it's no longer a prop. Now it's it's, you know, whatever. It's it's just

Sara: 41:42

Yeah. Fair enough.

Eric: 41:42

It can be ridiculous.

Sara: 41:44

So then yeah. So this woman says, not her department. Check building facilitation. And she's building facilitation and still says it's almost sounds almost obscene. Remember at building facilitation, a man pulls up a blueprint to the corridor and the room appears. Laura tells him, they were just there and there is no 949. The man tells her, that's impossible. If the room's on the computer, it's there. Still suggests

Eric: 42:07

he's This coming to the is the problem I have with so many people using computers in Yes. Like customer service and such. The computer says it, so it must be true. And if and if reality doesn't match what the computer says, then reality is wrong.

Sara: 42:25

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is this is this is still a thing. Like, we're still doing this.

Eric: 42:30

Oh, yeah.

Sara: 42:30

40 years

Eric: 42:32

worse, actually.

Sara: 42:32

It's getting worse. A lot worse because you can, like, physically show somebody. You can say, look, this is the thing that you're saying isn't a thing, and people will be like, yeah, but it says so here. So social media told me it is. So I'm gonna believe that.

Eric: 42:44

Or now it's AI says this.

Sara: 42:46

AI. Oh my. Don't even I realized I just read the AI overview for that. Mhmm. But I

Eric: 42:52

have We do that for laughs.

Sara: 42:54

We do that for laughs. I have demonstrated to my students multiple times where I'll ask it something very simple about something we've read or studied or looked at and it'll give me a completely wrong and very bizarre answer. And Mhmm. They still try to use it and they still I'm always able to pick it out because I'm like, that doesn't happen in the play. That's a completely different thing that it's referring to. Like, it's so easy to screw up with AI as your quote unquote source. So it it drives me nuts when I see people relying on it for information because it's not accurate.

Eric: 43:26

Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm trying to oh, yeah. It was in this episode when I was doing some research and I sent you a a message on this. I did a Google search because later in the episode, there's a mention of Ilse Sande, and I'm I'm positive that there was another

Sara: 43:47

episode before somewhere. I don't

Eric: 43:48

know I before, was but I I can't think of it. I couldn't think of it. So I did a Google search. And and I asked what Remington Steele episodes mentioned Ilse Sande. And Google's answer was Ilse Sande, Ingrid Bergman's character from the classic film Casablanca. Okay. So far, we're correct.

Sara: 44:05

Sure.

Eric: 44:05

Yeah. Was explicitly mentioned in the season 1 episode Chain of the Tiger. In this episode, Laura answers a trivia question about Casablanca by naming Il Saland. Given that Laura's obsession with 19 forties and 19 fifties cinema is a major pillar of the show's identity, Casablanca as a whole is frequently alluded to throughout the series, though Ilse herself is referenced directly here. It's like, okay. There's little bits and pieces of this are correct, but

Sara: 44:35

Yeah.

Eric: 44:36

Yeah, mostly it's just garbage.

Sara: 44:38

You put it together and it looks like a Picasso.

Eric: 44:41

Well, it looks like a Picasso that's been run over by a garbage truck.

Sara: 44:45

Yeah. Fair enough. So, yeah. They're they're pointing out that there is no building or that they were there and there is no 949. The man says, that's impossible. If the room is on the computer, it's there. Steele suggests they come and see it for himself. The man says, well, he can't do that. That's building coordination. Not building facilitation. Of course. Wow. Of course. So Laura asks if she he can at least tell her what it is they do in this nonexistent room. He presses a few buttons and tells her that information's classified. Red flag. She starts to ask another question when Steele behind him lifts a book that says computer codes and puts it in his jacket. She asks who they can see to get more information. And this is where he starts to get suspicious. He asks her who authorized them to make these requests. Laura, this is, again, the the bureaucratic gobbledygook is what I I appreciate here because who authorized you to make urge to ask these or the the she says never mind central cosmet probably gave us the wrong directions central or sarcomset Central CommSat? What what the what?

Eric: 45:47

It just sounds technical, so it's gotta be correct. I mean, who's gonna question? Sure. And and that's the thing is that you can throw this kind of gobbledygook out and it makes absolutely no sense and has no relationship to reality, but people won't challenge it because they're afraid of looking foolish by not knowing something that they're they think that they're supposed to know.

Sara: 46:10

Yeah. Fair enough. So So, yeah, he he central comm set, and then he she thanks him and they leave. Back in the main office, Laura says, Burnett was right. Something strange is going on. They stop and watch as a blonde woman in grey knocks on Burnette's door, and the door opens, still groans and says, they may be too late to figure it out. We watch as Alessandra comes out of the office and loudly says, right you are, sir, with a pot of coffee. The other blonde woman points at the door and announces herself as the payroll supervisor, Orange Division. Orange Division. Okay. She says she needs to see Brunette. Alessandra says Oh, I'm sorry.

Eric: 46:46

He's in the grapefruit division, so you can't Yeah. Do

Sara: 46:51

She that he asked not to be disturbed. The woman insists that it's extremely important, and when Laura and Steele approach, she greets them with relief, telling them that Mr. Burnett's been expecting them. She says, please excuse us, and the woman walks off in a huff as Steele and Laura hurry into the room. Alessandra says she doesn't know if she can keep this up. Laura tells her they need to get back to the office to see if their resident computer expert can hack into the UniDAC system. Steele asks if she can hold on for a few more hours, and she asks, Well, do I have a choice? He gives her a gentle punch on the shoulder. So, we get them at the office, and they're getting off the elevator again, still looking at his watch. He's preoccupied. She's reading the computer codes book. And then he basically, as he starts to exit the elevator, he kind of steps back and says, oh, should have been at the doctor's office half an hour ago. She asked him, well, are you okay? Is everything okay? And he quickly says, oh, yeah. If you if you test came back negative, which is

Eric: 47:43

That's a good thing.

Sara: 47:45

Yeah. It's mean, he's not this is 1 of the things that I have an issue with with this episode, and I know there's many, many more, is that he's really bad at hiding what he's doing. Oh, yeah. And and and, I mean, not that he should be hiding it at all. He shouldn't be. Like, that's that's number 2.

Eric: 48:04

Professional con man. He should be better at lying.

Sara: 48:07

This is this is really, like, really bad.

Eric: 48:09

This is basic. Like This is con man 1 0 1. No. Not even 100 series. It's con man 0 2 5.

Sara: 48:18

Exactly. Like, it's just, like, a few tests came back negative. That's gonna make her ask questions. Why would you I get that he's got a lot on his mind. And and, again, he shouldn't be hiding this at all. But, dude. Yeah. He's been saying, I'm slipping. I'm slipping throughout the entire series. This is proof because Yeah. A child could figure out something's going on. Let alone Laura who's who's pretty eagle eyed when it comes to this stuff. So Mhmm. And especially when he's pulling a fast 1. Right?

Eric: 48:49

Oh, yeah.

Sara: 48:49

He tries so she tries to ask questions. He shoos her away saying, he'll see her later and gets on the elevator before she can further protest. She walks in the office, says good morning Mildred, and Mildred isn't barely even looking at her. She's staring straight ahead.

Eric: 49:01

Yeah. She's not happy. Not

Sara: 49:03

impressed. Yeah. She reciprocates the greeting and then points towards someone off screen, who we figure out in a 2nd is Norman Keyes, and says, I told him to put it out. Norman Keys, our favorite human. Someone in question is the late James Tolkien as Norman Keys, who reminds them of who he is and who he works for, Vigilance Insurance. There's also a blonde woman. Okay. So have you you haven't seen any of the Lethal Weapon movies. Have you? No. This woman, the actress who plays Estelle Becker, Mary Ellen Trainor, she's also in all 4 of the Lethal Weapon movies. And so she would have already been, cause I think the 1st 1 had already come out by this point. I think they even referenced it in an episode, didn't they?

Eric: 49:49

Was it Lethal Weapon? What was it that Stephanie had been signed to do? I thought that was Oh,

Sara: 49:54

that was Robocop. No. No. It hadn't come out yet. Lethal Weapon hadn't come out yet. That was 1987. But, yeah,

Eric: 49:59

she was supposed the 1 she was

Sara: 50:01

No. It was Robocop.

Eric: 50:02

To do, wasn't it?

Sara: 50:03

It was Robocop. Yeah. It definitely wasn't Lethal Weapon. But either way, Stephanie Stephanie Woods is her character on Lethal Weapon, and she plays the No. No.

Eric: 50:14

No. It's that's that's I'm sure somebody somebody send us in an email. I'm sure it was Lethal Weapon that she was signed to do, but anyway, not Robocop.

Sara: 50:25

I'm pretty sure it was Robocop. Hold on.

Eric: 50:29

Well, let's ask AI.

Sara: 50:32

Yeah. She was cast as Murphy's partner, Anne Lewis. This is not from AI. This is from, Wikipedia, And had to drop out because of contractual obligations to Remington's deal.

Eric: 50:41

So I was right?

Sara: 50:44

Robocop, not Lethal Weapon.

Eric: 50:46

So I was right?

Sara: 50:48

No. Because you were saying it was Lethal Weapon.

Eric: 50:50

Yes. So I was right. I'm not gonna say I She was was contracted. She did. I was wrong.

Sara: 50:55

Okay. Okay. Alright. Okay. I get what you're doing. Alright. Either way, I'm talking about the actress playing Estelle Becker, who was in Lethal Weapon, all 4 Lethal Weapon movies. Okay?

Eric: 51:04

Okay.

Sara: 51:05

Her character is hilarious in these films. She plays Stephanie Woods, a police psychiatrist. So her job in the films is to basically psychoanalyze the police officers and make sure that they're safe to be in the line of duty, essentially. And in the very 1st film, because the whole plot of the 1st film, the whole concept of the film is that Mel Gibson's character who has just had his wife like, his wife has just died. And he is psychologically not okay. And he's also he was ex special forces in Vietnam. He's like very very he's literally the lethal weapon in the series. Right? He's highly trained. He's able to kill and he's kind of on the edge. And when he comes in to put partner up with Murtagh, the other cop, she tries to talk to him as a psychiatrist. And he basically dry like throughout the entire series of films every every time she attempts to help him. He drives her crazier and crazier to the point where in the 4th film when he finally does go to her for help. Like legitimately wants to talk out his feelings and blah blah blah. She kind of like, she snaps on him, and she's like, no. No. Because here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna go into my office, and you're gonna tell me that you wanna marry Murtagh. And he's like, what? And she's like, and then you're gonna tell me this, and this, and this, and I'm just not interested. And she just like flips out on him. As she's like storming away, he's like, no, I won't go out with you. She's like, so like, every time I see this actress, I get a kick out of it because she's so good at what she does. And in this, she's playing a Stelbecker. So, yeah. I just wanted to point out, this is the psychiatrist from Lethal Lethal Weapon movies.

Eric: 52:51

Okay.

Sara: 52:52

And she's not pleased to be around pleased to be around Keyes. Look at that.

Eric: 52:58

Is anybody pleased to be around Keyes?

Sara: 53:00

Fair enough. He's he's pretty odious as a human being, and she's you can see it on her face. She tries to introduce herself, and then Keys talks over her. This is a stealth expert.

Eric: 53:11

Right? I know that's that's Keys. That it's so much Keys, but it's just it makes you love Keyes all the less.

Sara: 53:20

Yeah. I know. It just he's just an awful, awful human. And that's that's why we love to hate him because he's he's a really good antagonist. I'm not gonna say he's a character that people love, but I think

Eric: 53:34

Oh, no.

Sara: 53:34

I think love think love

Eric: 53:36

I love to hate him. Is a

Sara: 53:37

yeah. Exactly. So he asked where Laura he asked Laura where Steele is, and she says, out. He says he can see that, and asked when he'll be back. Laura begins to tell him that they're in the middle of a case, he's interrupts and says that Estelle Becker has again. She's not said that a word yet because he's not let her. Estelle Becker has some business with your boss. She asks what business Estelle says that's privileged information and she's polite. Right? And she's she's right. This isn't information that she can give to Laura. Mhmm. And she just simply asked when he'll be back. Laura not giving them anything says, your guess is as good as mine. Estelle says, okay, we'll come back later. And then she apologizes for the intrusion, which is again, polite Mhmm. And obvious that she dislikes Keyes as much as

Eric: 54:20

Laura. Yes.

Sara: 54:22

Keyes then says to Laura, give give me give Steele a message for me. You can run, but you can't hide. And then he blows smoke from his cigar in her face and then cackles with malignant glee as they leave. What a complete beep.

Eric: 54:37

Yes. Complete donkey.

Sara: 54:42

Yeah. I can't say the rest of what I wanna say because it is not appropriate to say in this podcast, but that's what he is. So that's why I beeped it out. It is not ugh. He's gross.

Eric: 54:54

Yeah. He's he's he's he's not a nice man.

Sara: 54:58

Although, I do love Mildred's line necks. That guy should be checked for rabies. That's good. She wonders what he wants with mister Steele, and Laura says she has no idea, but they have more important problems. She hands Mildred the code book, and Laura tells Mildred that there's a dead man sitting in an office at UNIDAC Corporation. The secret to his murder is tied to Room G 949. Laura says she needs her to access their computer and find out what it is that they do in that room.

Eric: 55:25

And and maybe find where the room is.

Sara: 55:28

Yeah. Right? If the room even exists. Mildred, with her trademark humility, says a computer system hasn't been built that can contain Krebs.

Eric: 55:35

You know, that makes me wonder what exactly did Mildred really do at the IRS because clearly Right. Clearly, she was more than just your ordinary auditor. She she's got computer superhuman super skills that a mere ordinary auditor wouldn't have. It it's almost like she's working for a secret division of the IRS and actually has ties to the CIA

Sara: 56:02

and Ordish division. Yeah. Yeah. I I love and I I know I've said this before, but I really love the fact that their computer expert is an older woman and not some young computer whiz because the running joke, of course, when it comes to technology is that older people don't know what they're doing, and young people are the ones that know everything about computers. In this case

Eric: 56:24

And if you don't believe that, just ask a younger person.

Sara: 56:27

Yeah. In this case, Laura and Steele especially Steele. Laura has, I think, a little bit more knowledge of computers than than Steele, but he can't find the enter key. He just know, he's sitting there totally confused. But, you know,

Eric: 56:43

there there is that attitude. But the thing is and and I will I will agree that above a certain age, that is probably more true than not true.

Sara: 56:53

Sure.

Eric: 56:54

But there's this age in the middle between the 80 and the, say, 30 or 40 down. There's that group in the middle that grew up either at the very beginning of computers or computers came into being as they were going through that that growing up period. And quite frankly, some of us know more about computers and how they really actually work than some of the young people do because a lot of the young people are, well, see, I can tap these keys. I can make this thing do all this magic and stuff. It's it's like, no. I can teach a monkey how to do that.

Sara: 57:33

Yeah.

Eric: 57:33

You don't know how the computer actually works internally.

Sara: 57:36

Yeah.

Eric: 57:37

But they think they're so smart because, well, see, I can punch a button and I can make it do this.

Sara: 57:42

And I I will I will freely admit that there are areas of computer stuff that you know far more about than I do. There's also a lot of stuff that I think that I'm pretty good at when it comes to figuring out or adapting or whatever it is because I'm in that age range that I was born in the eighties. I was born in '82. I came of age as the technology did. And so I and because of the field that I work in, I'm we're constantly being handed a new program that we have to learn and that we have to use and that, oh, this is the new program the board is supporting. Oh, no. They got rid of that. Now, we're doing this. Now, they're doing this. And so we're constantly having to to learn how to use all of these systems and softwares and whatever else. And my students, a good chunk of them don't know what the tab key is. And I wish I was kidding, but I had to teach a student the other day how to italicize something. I had See, no

Eric: 58:34

the the thing is it's also it goes beyond just those kinds of things, though, because young people these days have this unerring faith in technology. Yeah. And computers are always right. They're never wrong. They never make a mistake. Yeah. And, of course, I grew up and and you you were on the tail end of it of the early days of of home personal computing. And we know enough about computers not to trust them. For example, the Boeing 7 37 Max was designed with a single point of failure for its angle of attack. And worse than that, it was a point of failure that was known to have a history of issues. But they had such faith in the technology that they didn't think about, well, you know, maybe we ought to have a backup system. I mean, the accelerator in your new car has a a backup system on it. Far more sophisticated than than what the 7 37 Max had because it's got 2 sensors. And if they don't agree, the computer in your car says, we got a problem. We don't know what speed you're actually going. So it will basically shut the car down. 7 37 max and 1 angle of attack indicator. And if it's wrong, the computer acts as if it's correct. And that's 1 of the things that contributed to a couple of major 7 37 crashes early on, 7 37 MAX.

Sara: 59:57

Wasn't there a a ship that they said was unsinkable so they didn't have enough lifeboats on it?

Eric: 1:00:05

No. I I think that's a myth.

Sara: 1:00:06

That's a myth.

Eric: 1:00:07

It's it was a science fiction movie, though. They they called it tantric?

Sara: 1:00:15

Tantric? Well, that's a different movie entirely, but anyway. But yeah. So, like, just this idea that that Mildred being this this woman who most people would overlook is so good with computers. I really just love it. Especially Mhmm. In the eighties when again computers were not that common in people's homes. Like, had 1 we were early adopters of it because my dad was kinda like Mildred. He knew how to build them, and he knew everything about how they worked and stuff like that. So I think people can stay on top of it if they continue to pay attention to and adapt to the technology. I don't think it's beyond people's scope. But a lot of people, if they don't need it for work, they only need it for certain things in their daily lives, it's not something that they'll continue to adapt to. So, Mildred, she's pretty certain that she can figure this out. Laura says, great.

Eric: 1:01:06

You know, this says something about Mildred because, as you said, people who don't see any immediate value to their work or their personal life don't pursue these things. But Mildred, I'm gonna say that she was probably she was an auditor with the IRS. And she used computers, but she wasn't a hacker, so to speak, as she is now. Yeah. But she studied computers on her own because she probably saw, if I can get better at this, I can make myself more valuable. I will become eligible for more promotions, to move into higher to to jobs that have have more authority and more level of expertise that are more respected than just a mere auditor. Yeah. So I I think she was she was thinking in advance and planning in advance. Oh, for sure. As you said, if if they don't see an immediate value to it, a lot of people won't do it. They won't pursue it.

Sara: 1:02:08

And this has become valuable for for Remington Steele, for for Laura and Steele and and this whole organization because a lot of this stuff is now so computer heavy that Mhmm. You have to have somebody that knows something about it. Yeah. I was listening to another podcast the other day and they mentioned a podcast about it was it's a movie podcast called this couldn't be made with self or this this movie wouldn't be made with cell phones or something about how, like, they basically on this podcast would talk about how certain movies could never be made today because of cell phones. And so I I just think this was the show acknowledging that computers were becoming more and more of a a narrative plot point that you need to have and use them. Mhmm. Because Yeah. That's that's kind of where things were at. So and it changed very quickly between 1982 and 1986.

Eric: 1:02:57

So Mhmm.

Sara: 1:02:58

Yeah. You've got Mildred. So she she says, like, yeah. And then Laura says, I'll get started on my terminal. I'm not entirely sure what Laura was planning to do on her terminal, but she started for her office then turns back and she asked Mildred, did mister Steele mention anything to you about medical tests? And Mildred says, no. Why? Try not to think about it. So and I'm gonna I'm gonna read the script of what she sees out the window. Then I'm gonna ask you how you feel about Because the script says, okay. She gets to her computer. She she goes to the window to retrieve her coffee cup from the sill. Something catches her eye out the window. We see Remington standing on a street corner waiting, checking his watch. Laura, puzzled. And then zoom in tight as a sporty red Porsche Cabriolet with the top down pulls up to the corner driven by the beautiful Clarissa from Steele and the Family. Exchanging smiles as Remington gets in, says they kiss in a friendly fashion. Then Clarissa drives off. Is this a friendly do you kiss your friends this way? Out of curiosity, this what you would call friendly?

Eric: 1:04:04

Generally, I haven't, but then again, I don't have any friends, so

Sara: 1:04:09

If you did, would you kiss them like this? Would this be friendly? Or is this something else?

Eric: 1:04:15

Well, I mean, it would certainly be friendly.

Sara: 1:04:18

I I

Eric: 1:04:18

I think I might know somebody that might object by doing that. But

Sara: 1:04:23

just when I read this, I I'm on the screen, when they kiss, that's not friendly. That's that's that's not friendly. I that's more than friendly. That is

Eric: 1:04:34

Yes. That is very friendly.

Sara: 1:04:37

Yeah. Exactly. And I just

Eric: 1:04:40

Here's my issues. I have issues. 1st of all, why is there a computer in front of the window? It's a bad place for it. It's you know, if you've got some good clean skies, clear skies, bright sun, shiny day, that sun is pointing right on that computer getting it even hotter than it's already getting already. And it's kind of impractical to use it, especially when most of your time is gonna be at your desk where the computer should probably be. And then also looking out of the window and seeing Steele and Clarissa, how would she know? Because they're on the 11th Floor. We know this because it's Suite 1157. And in a commercial building, that would put the floor roughly a 145 to a 165 feet high. There's no way she could tell who that was in that car. Or or she couldn't even identify Steele from that height. Definitely not. No. Uh-uh.

Sara: 1:05:38

Okay. Not by any don't know about that personally. I do know I'm on the 8th Floor in my apartment building, and if I were to look down, I could definitely identify my husband waiting for someone. That being said, it's it might not be the same height. So not gonna not gonna argue with you on that 1. Narratively, we need her to see it, so I guess that's where they're going with it. But

Eric: 1:05:58

Well, okay. Even if you could identify your husband from that height, if somebody walked up to him and started talking to him, could you identify that person?

Sara: 1:06:06

If I knew them, probably, but not if I didn't know them.

Eric: 1:06:11

But not necessarily, though. But you're you you you you put a probably on there, which

Sara: 1:06:14

was I said probably because I'm

Eric: 1:06:16

not sure. I can't say for certain. Yeah. Doubt there. Now you could say, okay. You would recognize your husband because you know him. You know how Yeah. You know what he was wearing when he left. You know how he stands, how he moves. So you're not actually identifying him from, like, facial characteristics.

Sara: 1:06:33

No.

Eric: 1:06:33

You're identifying him based on your knowledge of him. Laura doesn't know Clarissa that well. No. How how is she? No. I can't. I'm not biased. I mean

Sara: 1:06:43

It it's a hand wave because we have to see that she sees. That's literally all it is.

Eric: 1:06:47

It's a hand wave because there's wedding dresses. Yes.

Sara: 1:06:50

But, but also okay. Why does he have to kiss her? Why was that necessary?

Eric: 1:06:55

I guess he he probably thinks he knows he knows that he's in trouble with the immigration. Yeah. He knows Estelle Becker's on his case. He know he probably knows Keys is on his case. And he may be suspecting that he's being observed and watched. Okay. That makes sense. Put on a show, you know.

Sara: 1:07:17

Fair enough. Fair enough. I'll I'll have some questions about their arrangement later,

Eric: 1:07:21

but There's lots of questions, you know, wedding dresses. I

Sara: 1:07:27

I need I need this explained when we get there. I really do. Okay. So we yeah. Laura, obviously, she kinda jumps back and looks visibly upset, which she would, because Mhmm. She literally just saw him jumping into a car and cheating on her. Mhmm. Right?

Eric: 1:07:45

So she

Sara: 1:07:45

walks in.

Eric: 1:07:47

He kissed another woman. That presumes that they have a relationship strong enough and committed enough and exclusive enough that it would qualify as cheating. And I don't know that we've ever seen anything that says we're exclusive.

Sara: 1:08:02

She says she's committed. She has said that before. And the 2 of them had a that conversation in insensitive Steele, I would argue, is pretty indicative of that.

Eric: 1:08:14

Yeah. But I mean Especially the

Sara: 1:08:15

the conversation at the end.

Eric: 1:08:17

There's plenty of room for wiggle, let's say.

Sara: 1:08:21

No. I don't think there is. I think they're in a they're in a relationship, and they're both aware of that. And that he knows if he were to cheat on her, then he's gonna be in trouble. Like, that's why he's

Eric: 1:08:34

lying there. I I think that he he probably views it as wiggle room, but anyway, okay.

Sara: 1:08:39

Well, views a lot of things as wiggle room. We'll talk about that too. So, yeah, she comes out and she basically she's looking at Mildred. She's sort of lost in thought. And she says to him, and she's casually, that friend of your nephew is the Latin tutor. Your nephew mentioned him these or her these days? And Mildred laughs and says every time he calls. Laura asks what she's up to these days. And Mildred says, UC Santa Barbara tutoring her head off. Laura asks, Has Mr. Steele mentioned her recently? And Mildred says, No. Something on your mind? And Laura says, No, but not very convincing. Just thinking of past cases. Starts to walk away when Mildred gasps and says she hit paydirt. She tells Laura that Room G 949 is assigned to something called Project Omega. Laura asks what Project Omega is, and Mildred shrugs. She begins to press more buttons and tells her if this could take a bit longer. Laura tells her to tell Mr. Steele that she went back to Unidec, and then she adds at the end if he's still interested, which obviously,

Eric: 1:09:39

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:09:40

She's not she's not impressed. Yeah. And she should be

Eric: 1:09:44

That's a bit from Mildred's perspective, that's that's a bit snarky in a very unexplained way. And it's like Yeah.

Sara: 1:09:55

What? And Mildred does sort of look at her curiously because Yeah. She's yeah. So then we have a scene change at UNIDAC. Laura is sitting with Alessandra, and Alessandra asks her where mister Steele is. Laura says, Mr. Burnett, in another place. She asks how she's doing and accidentally calls her Clarissa. Alessandra corrects her and says every time people pass by, it's like Edgar Allan Poe's the telltale heart. She says she thinks they know what's going on and she wants to scream. And I wanna point out, I've been watching The Simpsons with my daughter. We've been like, she's never seen it before. We've started at the beginning and we've gone through all. We're up to season 5. And there was an episode of The Simpsons. The Simpsons had a habit of taking old movies and old literature and stuff like that and basically doing episodes that were Like, they did an entire episode that was basically Citizen Kane. They, you know, they they did this with Lord of the Flies and a bunch of other classic works of literature. And there's 1 episode where Lisa makes a friend who is smarter than her, and she becomes really sort of insecure about it and anxious. And her friend creates they have this diorama competition, and her friend creates this amazing diorama, and she destroys it and enters her own in the competition or something like that. I can't try to remember exactly what it is. But there's like, she starts to get driven crazy by this fictional heart underneath the floorboards of her diorama. And eventually, flips and she's like, it's not beating a our hideous heart. Like, that's how what it all this to say, most of what I know about classic literature, I learned from The Simpsons or Wishbone. Because I don't

Eric: 1:11:34

And that's coming from a teacher, folks.

Sara: 1:11:37

Well, Then I went and read the actual literature. But as a kid, you're watching this, and you're like, they're making these it's a really interesting show in the sense that a a lot of kids watched it, and there was a lot of references that were not designed for them to get. And now I'm watching it. The 1 that we watched recently, the whole episode was about this casino that mister Burns creates. But throughout the episode, he basically becomes Howard Hughes. See him becoming more and more paranoid about germs, more and more, like, reclusive. He's saving bottles of urine. And at the very end of the episode, he says they wanna just go back to the nuclear power plant. So he says to Smithers, hop in. We'll take the spruce moose. And he holds up a diagram of or a a like a model of the spruce goose. And he's calling it the spruce moose. Smithers is like, sir. And then he holds up a gun. He's like, I said hop in. So it's like, all of this stuff is like from the, you know anyway, I learned most of what I learned about classic literature from The Simpsons.

Eric: 1:12:38

Been studying it

Sara: 1:12:38

for 7 years. She laments the 7 years of advanced study of literature down the drain. She tells, I haven't even taken my orals yet. I have no idea what that is, but that sounds like none of my business. Yeah. Like, I don't know what you I studied literature in university. I don't recall orals.

Eric: 1:12:57

So it it's it's I

Sara: 1:13:00

I don't know

Eric: 1:13:00

if it applies necessarily to a PhD in literature, but generally, as I understand it, that's a reference to giving an oral presentation. You go in, you get asked questions by your professors and and what an whatever, like, board of of experts, and they ask you these questions, you have to answer them and give speeches and all this stuff and it's I

Sara: 1:13:25

always thought that was just a thesis defense.

Eric: 1:13:28

Well, it could be could be considered that too, I guess. I don't know. I or they may be 2 different things that are related.

Sara: 1:13:35

Sure.

Eric: 1:13:36

But, yeah, it definitely has another connotation.

Sara: 1:13:39

To me when somebody says they're taking orals because I was in Canada, you have to take French from, like, grade 1 or grade 4, depending on your board, all the way up to grade 9, at least. You can take it further if you want. Orals are usually like oral tests where they you either have to like write something down in French or you have to converse in French as an exam or, you know, that's or you have to listen to something in French and then write down what it's saying. So that's but this isn't this is literature, so that wouldn't make any sense.

Eric: 1:14:06

In context in the context of this episode, it has definitely a different Yeah.

Sara: 1:14:13

I don't different meaning. Laura tells her that all she has to do is keep people believing in a man who isn't really there. Sarcastically, she says, I've done that for 4 years. You can do it for a day. Alice Laura, come on.

Eric: 1:14:25

What? You know, this is this is the this is an example of somebody, I don't wanna talk about it, but I wanna talk about it.

Sara: 1:14:36

Yeah. Right.

Eric: 1:14:37

I I I I want you to force me to talk about it because I really wanna talk about it, but I don't want to admit that I wanna talk about it.

Sara: 1:14:47

Precisely. Yeah. And, of course, Alessandra asks, what are you talking about? And she laughs and says, we'll laugh about it over coffee 1 day. She tells her in the meantime, she needs her to keep her head and tell her where UNIDAC might keep personnel files on a red flag project called Omega. So then we see and I wanna read from the script here because Laura's line is really funny. A reception area in front of a separate room housing row upon row of file cabinets. Laura in a lab coat wearing glasses. There's your favorite glasses. Yeah. Burnette's ID badge stands ramrod straight holding a clipboard. And she says, Laura Holt, QRS division level 7 procurement and applications background check for PBY 14. I'm sorry. What? But her nonsense works because he buzzes her in. Mhmm. She walks through and into a room with wall to wall files until she eventually comes across a door with a sign that says, red flag projects, authorized personnel only. She pulls out her Lockpick Kit, lets herself inside. She looks around the different filing cabinets until she finds the 1 labeled Project Omega. She opens it and takes out a bunch of file folders that say Project Omega on them. She sits down and begins to go through them. The 1st one's blank, so she opens the 2nd 1, Also blank. 3rd 1, blank. There is nothing in any of these folders.

Eric: 1:16:04

Blankety blankety blank.

Sara: 1:16:05

Yeah. Exactly. Before she can react, the man at the desk's voice is heard asking what she's doing here. She tells him, that's an excellent question, and stands up and asks how she wearing bogus ID could get in here and get her hands on these files on a red flag project without being questioned. I do like her ability to pivot here.

Eric: 1:16:24

Yeah.

Sara: 1:16:24

She's not always great at undercover, but this is a good sort of way of weaponizing their corporate bureaucratic structure to her advantage. And it would have worked had it not been for the payroll supervisor that notices her Yeah. A little further in the scene. But because she says she demands to know if he has the answer and he asked who she is and she says security and you're going on report and that he panics. He scrambles and follows her and says he didn't know what he thought she challenges him with thought what He pleads with her telling her his record is spotless. And she says she'll let it go as a warning this time, but you better straighten up and tighten up. Tells her that she can count on it. And she leaves and goes to press the button for the elevator. And as she waits, the woman from payroll gets off the elevator. So that's where

Eric: 1:17:09

it goes. I got a couple comments about this, and then we got some comments from

Sara: 1:17:13

Oh, we have comments.

Eric: 1:17:14

Yay. My comments, 1st of all, about this scene is, yeah. What are you doing here? That's an excellent question. How can I wear in bogus? That's a good response. Best defense is a strong offense. And she would have been doing well if she hadn't backed off. And when she says, I'll let it go as a warning this time, but you better straighten up and tighten up, mister. Fair.

Sara: 1:17:35

You know,

Eric: 1:17:35

like the the the girl from Full House. Yeah. That is okay. That is her admitting that it's all a a scam. It's a fraud. She's not real because a real security person wouldn't let someone off the

Sara: 1:17:48

hook like that. They well, to be fair, though, she really had no other choice. What was she gonna do? March them up to

Eric: 1:17:54

No. Like What you do is you give me your your, name and your badge number. And

Sara: 1:18:01

You'll be contacted by HR?

Eric: 1:18:02

I'm I'm filing a report with your name and your name will be And prominent in my then you walk off and then

Sara: 1:18:09

Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah.

Eric: 1:18:11

A couple of comments we got. He didn't wanna bring Laura into a fraud but that, of course, he's assuming that she would never want to marry him under any pretext and I think this is in relationship to our commenting about why Steele isn't telling Laura about what's going on.

Sara: 1:18:28

Well, we'll get there. I I have many thoughts, but I'm waiting to

Eric: 1:18:32

And and then as far as you being a teacher, highly educated on The Simpsons, this person says that most of what they learned about opera or classical

Sara: 1:18:42

music Yeah.

Eric: 1:18:43

They learned from Looney Tunes and Yeah.

Sara: 1:18:47

Honestly, same. It was it was The Simpsons, and and like I said, there was a show called Wishbone, which was a kid's show that was narrated by a Jack Russell Terrier. And he would

Eric: 1:18:57

I won't even ask.

Sara: 1:18:59

Every episode was a classic story that he would act out as the character in costume, and he was a cute little Jack Russell terrier. It was adorable. Okay. Shush.

Eric: 1:19:10

Well, I do have to agree that Looney Tunes, you

Sara: 1:19:13

Yeah. See?

Eric: 1:19:14

They relied heavily on classical music and and yeah. That was a good good source of information about classical

Sara: 1:19:20

music. I actually really liked the fact that shows that were designed for kids used to contain all of these sort of references to either historical events or classic literature things that kids would have no reference for without any without worrying whether or not they were gonna get it. Because there was enough in the episode to hold their attention. And then as they get older, it it it also entertains the parents. And then as they get older, you rewatch it, you're like, oh, I get that now. Oh, I get that now. And it kind of becomes

Eric: 1:19:52

Well, some cases, could also motivate them to say

Sara: 1:19:55

To learn

Eric: 1:19:56

that. To go and do the research to find out about it because it was referenced in this cartoon and Yeah. And they didn't get it. So Yeah. Exactly. And now now it's just fart jokes and, you know, whatever.

Sara: 1:20:06

Yeah. There's not a lot of shows that do that anymore and it's a shame because it it feels like an inside joke when you get it.

Eric: 1:20:14

Mhmm. Yeah. But nowadays, intellectual content in cartoons is like, no, we don't do that because it there's no money in it. It's

Sara: 1:20:22

like Yeah.

Eric: 1:20:23

Looney Tunes did okay, you know?

Sara: 1:20:25

Yeah. Exactly. Anyway So the personnel supervisor where am I? Sorry. Yeah. So she she the payroll supervisor, I meant to say, walks up to the other guy, and it's Laura's busted. As she gets off the elevator, a voice can be heard over the PA system paging Laura Holt to report to Section T, Room 405. Why does she go? This is

Eric: 1:20:47

Yeah. That was, that was my question here. It's right there. Hello. Does she not know this is a trap? And if she does realize it's a trap, why does she just walk right into it without a 2nd thought?

Sara: 1:20:57

Yeah. It has a trap written all over it in the unblinking letters. It makes no sense that you would go. I just Yeah. I don't know. It's it's basically like, Laura Holt, please report to the murder Room. We are going to murder you now. Oh. 0, okay. I better go. Like, I'm sorry. So, yeah. She she she does. She stops a passerby. She asks, I'm still finding my way around. Could you direct direct me to the T Section? And then we see her coming to Room T 405. She opens the door and enters. And I'm gonna use the script here. As she opens the door and enters. As Laura steps into darkness, she gropes for a light when she hears the door lock behind her. Suddenly, the lights come on, and an ominous whirr begins. Laura looks around to see that she is in a narrow wind tunnel with a huge fan at 1 end, which is beginning to rotate. The room itself is dominated by a sleek life-sized mock up of the tail assembly of a modern jet fighter. The tail assembly faces away from the fan, which pulls air across its surface. Laura tries the door, but can't get it open. Now, I am not in any way knowledgeable about this stuff. What what is the purpose of this room? Do you know?

Eric: 1:22:05

Yes. Is to trap Laura and

Sara: 1:22:08

Oh, yeah. It's the murder room. Okay. Got it.

Eric: 1:22:10

That's right. Yeah. No. I've got some more comments about the scene as we progress through it. But yes, a wind tunnel is a room that is oh, and by the way, the the airplane that is in there is obviously not life-sized unless you're an ant. A wind tunnel is designed or is is used to test designs for airflow efficiency.

Sara: 1:22:34

Okay.

Eric: 1:22:35

So and this is also in the automotive industry these days, which is why every car on the road looks like every other car on the road, which looks like every other car on the road, which looks like every other car on the road. Because they're all being designed for maximum airflow efficiency. Because when you have disruptions to the smooth flow of air across the surface, whether it be the body of a car or across the components of an airplane, it increases drag which directly and negatively impacts fuel economy as well as performance in an So they're they're doing these things to test how well a particular design either the design in in in total or certain design elements are performing in terms of the the airflow around them.

Sara: 1:23:28

Okay.

Eric: 1:23:29

And so that's what the these these rooms are for.

Sara: 1:23:31

Yeah. Okay. Agree about the cars. They're all the same, and they're all black, white, and gray. And, like, very rarely do you see any colors anymore. It's just it's it's dismal.

Eric: 1:23:42

Well, you do see some colors, but it's certainly not the wide variety that it used to And, be in the yeah, everything looks like it was plopped out from cookie dough, which was then allowed to kinda just kinda sit and, you know, lose its shape.

Sara: 1:23:59

Yeah. I'm with you. I I was driving home from work the other day on the highway and a bright red and white Chevy Bel Air drove by me, 19 fifties Chevy Bel Air, and I was like, hey, I know what that is. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 1:24:13

I mean, it used to be Yeah. And and they had design elements in those cars that they would just not use these days because they they are not good airflow aerodynamic design elements.

Sara: 1:24:25

But they

Eric: 1:24:25

look cool. Yeah. Look cool. Know, it's it's like there was a TV show that talked about this. I think it was called Home Improvement.

Sara: 1:24:37

There it is. Notice I have not made a single Buffy reference. Just saying.

Eric: 1:24:42

And, you know, the they were talking about classic cars, and they get worse fuel economy. They're harder to drive. They don't have power steering. They don't have an air conditioning. And, of course, the question is, why would anyone wanna drive 1 with them? And the answer was because they're cool.

Sara: 1:24:57

Because they're cool. I agree with you. I'm 100% on board with this 1. So back in the wind tunnel, Laura yells, hey, there's somebody in here. But the Hello, fact that

Eric: 1:25:07

Laura. Are are you really that stupid?

Sara: 1:25:09

Did you not They're rightly they're aware.

Eric: 1:25:11

They think they didn't

Sara: 1:25:11

They know.

Eric: 1:25:12

Yes. I mean

Sara: 1:25:13

They know, sweetie. You're you're you're you're yeah. This was a trap. The fan already drowns her out as it picks up speed and begins to draw her towards its enormous blades. Laura struggles to get to the tail assembly and throws herself at the stabilizer, grabbing onto its leading edge as the fan's velocity increases. You know what I thought of when I saw the scene, and you will understand this reference. This episode was badly written. Scene in Galaxy Quest, and they're like, why is there a giant fan? And it's like, well, it was in the episode. This episode was badly written. This was what I thought of, like, why is there a giant blade? I get it. It's a wind tunnel. You just explain it, but still it kind of like anyway. So she's yelling that some somebody shut this thing off, but obviously, no. The needle in the velocity gauge, we see that on the wall begins to climb towards the red zone. She's fighting to keep her grip. She begins to slip from the sleek surface of the stabilizer.

Eric: 1:26:07

400 miles an hour. Excuse I'm going to call Beau my excrement. There's no way she could hold on. There's no I mean No.

Sara: 1:26:17

This is tornado level winds.

Eric: 1:26:19

Like This this this is so strong of a wind that even the smallest particle of dust would be inflicting very serious body damage. I mean Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no. Uh-uh.

Sara: 1:26:32

So, yeah. She's holding on. We see the strain. It enters the red zone. It continues onward. 1 hand lets go. The other barely maintains its grip. She's about to lose her grip. She's closing her eyes about what's to come when suddenly, the fan dies. The gauge quickly returns to 0. She lies stretched out on the stabilizer as the door opens and Steele pokes his head in, looks around, spots Laura, surprised to see her. Ah, there you are, Laura. I've been looking everywhere for you.

Eric: 1:26:57

We had a comment here, I'm not sure exactly what it refers to.

Sara: 1:27:01

Oh, it was the show that I just mentioned. Wishbone, the little Wish. Jack Okay.

Eric: 1:27:08

Okay. I'm sorry.

Sara: 1:27:10

I what I'm talking about.

Eric: 1:27:12

I told you my memory really, really bad, and I'd forgotten that that reference. I I yeah. So apparently, was somebody else who's a fan of that show as well.

Sara: 1:27:23

Everybody loved Wishbone. If you don't love Wishbone, you have no soul. He was a little Jack Russell terrier. Come on. That's a killer.

Eric: 1:27:29

Never heard of him. Don't care.

Sara: 1:27:32

Anyhoo, we switch back to the office. Keyes has returned, and he's smoking, like, again, right in Mildred's face. Mhmm. Mildred tells him to get the cigar out of her face, or she will use his forehead for an ashtray. And honestly, I wish she had. Keys tells her that she's very funny. He just wants to ask Steele a few or talks to Steele for a few minutes. Mildred insists she doesn't know where he is and suggests he go play in traffic until he gets back.

Eric: 1:27:58

That's right.

Sara: 1:27:59

They're giving her some really good lines here. Like, that's a that's a good 1. Keys

Eric: 1:28:06

tells Keys her about just inspires brilliance.

Sara: 1:28:09

Yeah. That's true. You know, in in

Eric: 1:28:12

yeah. Yeah.

Sara: 1:28:14

He tells her he was going to offer her a job at Vigilance Insurance, but after bull. Bull. He wasn't going to offer her a

Eric: 1:28:20

No.

Sara: 1:28:20

What a complete creep.

Eric: 1:28:22

Now he might have as a lure, but then it would

Sara: 1:28:26

never Oh, yeah.

Eric: 1:28:26

He would never materialize.

Sara: 1:28:28

Use it. Yeah. But after this place folds, he guesses she can make it as a stand up comic. He tells Estelle they're leaving. Again, Estelle just looks miserable there with him. Oh, yeah. Mildred leaps up and asks what he means by when this place folds. Keys cackles again and says, see you in the bread line, sweetheart. Ugh. What a gross, gross human. As they leave, he says he loves this job and Estelle, finally, she's you're disgusting.

Eric: 1:28:51

And Well, she doesn't do it in front of No. No. All she waits to her clients or whatever. Because she's got a little bit of tact in the quorum. Yeah. And she's not there to fight with keys in public in front of No. Of the No. But but get him alone and, yeah, she's yeah.

Sara: 1:29:11

You're disgusting. And he says, what? Because I like seeing Justice done? And she correctly says, you don't care about Justice. You just wanna nail Steele.

Eric: 1:29:19

Oh, sure. But Justice gives me a good cover.

Sara: 1:29:21

Yeah. Exactly. Right? And he says, you you got me all wrong. And he points out that he sat on what he knew about Steele because it didn't affect his job. But when his boss tells him that he's putting Remington Steele on retainer and that he has to report to that fraud on major cases, that's business. And I would like to say, okay, Laura, what the hell? Why on why? Why would you she sets up the contract. She's the 1 that set up the contract. Steele mentions that later on. Why on earth would she do anything that would keep keys in their orbit for any length of time?

Eric: 1:29:55

Well, she didn't necessarily she set up a a deal with with Vigilance Insurance, but it didn't necessarily have anything to do with Keys. That could be just Vigilance Insurance's internal decisions. She she just she and She knows he works with just set up a contract where they're going to do a consulting type thing on certain cases and, you know, it just who you know, whoever you get assigned. Yeah. And she should have known better. She should have

Sara: 1:30:24

I really think

Eric: 1:30:25

about that, but I I don't think she was necessarily aware that was going to be drawn into it.

Sara: 1:30:32

Well, it's it's 1 of those things where Keyes has twice now, I think, come after them in a pretty serious way. And he has the knowledge of Steels multiple passports and multiple names. The fact that he hasn't gone after them yet is a minor miracle. And I if I were her, I would be steering clear of anything to do with Norman Keyes for for just the sheer reason that I wouldn't want him in my orbit at all poking around because he's she knows how vindictive he is and she knows how petty and and cruel he is. Like, she knows this is not a man who is going to have any humanity in him. If if it if it wounds his ego in any way shape or form. So, I don't know. I were me, if it if I were me, I am me. If I were her, I would not be trying to involve vigilance insurance in my cases if I or at you know, in a consulting, I wouldn't be setting up this contract. I just wouldn't do it. Yeah. And I'm not saying the rest of what happens is her fault. It isn't. But, like, that in and of itself was kind of inviting disaster, I think.

Eric: 1:31:42

Yeah. But but then again, you know, she might have well, like I said, she she might not have said anything in the contract directly related to Keith, so she didn't think about him being involved. And she might have even thought that after their last 2 cases with him with him, against him, whatever how you wanna describe it, that he'd gotten kicked down from his position to some lowly, you know, flunky or maybe was not even with company. She might not have even Yeah. I don't know. Checked that. Probably should've. I'll agree. She should've Yeah. She should've walked away from anything. But, of course, if they dangled a big enough dollar sign in front of her, she might've thought, well, you know, we can handle keys.

Sara: 1:32:32

Yeah. I don't know. It just seems like an awfully big risk for for something that's maybe not necessary. But either way, what's done is done, he's he's here. Estelle basically says that it's her job to deal with informers, but that doesn't mean she has to like them. And good for you, Estelle Becker, because like, and I I don't really have any anything against her. She's doing her job and she's, you know, she's not Well impressed. Like, she's not there.

Eric: 1:33:01

Have the thing I wonder about, though, is why is Keys even there with her? Because Yeah. That's weird. Okay. So you're an informant. That doesn't mean that you get to be involved in the investigation and the background check and then he's

Sara: 1:33:16

on his thing. See Steele suffer. That's why he's there. But Yeah.

Eric: 1:33:19

But he has no

Sara: 1:33:21

No. He doesn't.

Eric: 1:33:23

And they they they Estelle and and her bosses or whatever could just say, Keith, go play in the street because you're not gonna to a list on this.

Sara: 1:33:31

They should. I agree with you. They should be he shouldn't be orbiting around trying to see what's coming of his Mhmm. Tattletale tattling, but unfortunately, that's kinda guy he is. He's special. Yes.

Eric: 1:33:47

Short yellow school bus special. Yeah.

Sara: 1:33:50

So

Eric: 1:33:51

Our our previous commenter about the Wishbone show adds that their kid was a kid in the Wishbone decade.

Sara: 1:33:59

Yeah. The Wishbone decade was a

Eric: 1:34:01

So it's no longer just a TV show. Now it's a decade.

Sara: 1:34:04

Was a everybody there's ask anybody in a certain age demographic, and they know who Wishbone is.

Eric: 1:34:12

To me, a Wishbone is what you get out of a Thanksgiving turkey.

Sara: 1:34:17

And it's also a cute puppy dog. Nah. She's adorable. Anyway, so they get on the elevator and he he follows telling her not to be naive as the door closes. The other 1 opens, and I want to read this from the script because it's quite funny. So as soon as the doors close, other elevator opens and Remington and Laura get off. Laura's clothes are a bit worse for wear and her hair. Well, the kindest 1 can say is that it's not quite as bad as the bride of Frankenstein. Her mood isn't much better. That's what the script says. Alexa, So

Eric: 1:34:50

the the bride of Frankenstein, at least the the photos of the version I've seen, and it probably wasn't an authentic version. Yeah. Her hair was hideous, but at least it was styled. Hers is not even styled. Not This styled. It's just a rat's nest.

Sara: 1:35:10

So yes. Yeah. Steele, he's he's kind of, like, oblivious to to Laura's mood at the moment because he's

Eric: 1:35:16

Oh, sure.

Sara: 1:35:17

Basically kinda looking for a pat on the head here. He says, I thought you might at least be a little grateful, Laura. After all, it was good detective work on my part. Mildred told me you were at Unidac. Alessandra directed me to the file room. I heard your page on the loudspeaker, and then I and she just alright. I'm grateful. Satisfied. They come into the they come into the office. And Mildred sees them, and she's she's a little taken aback at at Laura's appearance. And, yeah, Mildred, she stands up. She she starts to tell them about Lauren Laura Keyes. Norman Keyes. But Laura interrupts saying to that she would have been a lot more grateful if he had been there in the 1st place. Accusingly, asked, how was your doctor's appointment? He said it took a little longer than expected. That's all. And you can see that he's strategically, he takes off his jacket. Right? So that she can see the he casually removes his jacket and he's got the rolled up sleeve and the gauze bandage taped to the crook of his arm, as if he's just given blood, and that causes Laura to sort of pause a little bit because she's you know, because

Eric: 1:36:20

he Well, says at least at least she knows that he wasn't totally lying about going to the The only question at this point is why?

Sara: 1:36:26

Why? Yeah. Because she sarcastically he says it took a little longer. He says, I'll bet. And, how did you get there? Walk? And that's when he takes off his jacket and you see the the Band Aid. And he says, what's gotten into you? And she this okay. So this is where I'm gonna I'm gonna criticize Steele, obviously, for all of this. But like but Laura, come on. This is where you should be. Cards on the table. I saw you get into the car with Clarissa. What's going on? This is not a time to play these games. She's playing these same games. She's she's she's testing him to see if he's gonna tell her the truth. She already knows he's lying. At least about about who he was with. Maybe not about the doctor, but like, come on. This is where he's

Eric: 1:37:08

definitely keeping something from her.

Sara: 1:37:10

They've been dancing around each other for 4 years. You she knows for a fact that he's not going to tell her. She's either gonna have to do 1 of 2 things. She's either gonna have to flat out say, I saw you get into a car with Clarissa. What is going on? Or she's gonna have to do what she ends up doing in this episode, following him around, trying to figure out what's going on, and it just ends badly. This is where she should have said, hey, I know you're hiding something from me. I wanna know what it is right here right now because she was nearly killed and he wasn't there with her. Mhmm. And for whatever reason, she has a right to know what he was doing, even if like, putting aside the personal stuff on a professional level, she went to UNIDEC alone and she was nearly killed.

Eric: 1:37:58

But, you know, not to defend it, not to excuse it, but just to explain it, there's a lot of times that people know exactly what they should do Yeah. But they just can't bring themselves to do it Yep. Either because they're afraid of the confrontation itself

Sara: 1:38:19

Yeah.

Eric: 1:38:19

Or they're afraid of the answer.

Sara: 1:38:21

Yeah. And this is their but the and this is it.

Eric: 1:38:24

And if I don't know the answer, if I don't know what's going on, at least it's it's Schrodinger Schrodinger Schrodinger guy. His his cat.

Sara: 1:38:33

Schrodinger. Yeah.

Eric: 1:38:34

His cat. Yeah. Okay. Steele may be cheating on me, but as long as I don't know for certain that he's cheating on me, maybe there's another explanation. Yeah. I don't want to find out because if there's not another explanation, if he is cheating on me, I don't like that answer. So I'm just frustrating. Going to

Sara: 1:38:53

This is their pattern. This is their pattern. He lies. She doesn't call him on it. She she could break the pattern here, and she she doesn't. She lets it go, and she lets it continue. And again, that's what he's lying about is not her fault, but she the communication problems that they're having, she could at least try to help solve them.

Eric: 1:39:17

I just had a thought. 2 things. The 1 1 was the word codependent and the other is abusive relationships. The same characteristic of I don't want to confront, I don't want to risk the result. Yeah. Now, different degrees, obviously.

Sara: 1:39:43

Yeah. Obviously. This is

Eric: 1:39:45

It's it's kind of the same mentality.

Sara: 1:39:48

Yeah. I think she's still hoping that he'll tell her on his own, and he should. To be fair, I'm not giving him a pass here. Like, this shouldn't have come to this ever at all. But she's still just sort of hoping I think it's half and half what you said. Half of her is hoping that he'll just tell her, and the other half is afraid that he'll tell her. Yeah. So she yeah. So she's not confronting him, but this is where she should have.

Eric: 1:40:14

Schrodinger's affair.

Sara: 1:40:16

Yeah. Or Schrodinger's con or something. Yeah. Yes. But yeah. So she just says she kind of when she sees the the Band Aid

Eric: 1:40:26

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:40:26

She backs off a little bit, sort of chastened slightly. And then she she's vulnerable here when she says, I just could have used you at Unidec. That's all. And there's a lot in that line that she's not saying. She's upset. Oh, yeah. Obviously because she was nearly killed, but she's also upset that she knows he's lying to her. Even if the the medical tests were true. She knows that there's something he's not telling her. And once again, she's this is her this is hurtful. This hurts. There's no other way around it. So Mhmm. Yeah. This sucks. Mildred doesn't read the room and she asks, she laughs, and she asks, what happened to Laura? And it actually does reference the bride of Frankenstein. Yeah. And annoyed, Laura says thanks, and asks if she found out anything more. Regretfully, she says no. She's shooting blanks. Just then,

Eric: 1:41:14

a young funny that it's Steel's line.

Sara: 1:41:16

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. That that would be, but thankfully, the writers decided not to go there. Yeah. So a young man comes in with a delivery for mister Steele. He has a tux. And again, dude, you're getting your tux delivered, like, right to you right in front of Laura. Yeah. So, yeah, he brings in this tux and he and Laura Steele takes it from him and tells her to carry on. And she attempts to follow him and hesitates, yelling to Steele that she got her hands on some Project Omega personnel folders. He absent mindedly says, uh-huh, as he inspects the tux, and Laura adds that they were empty, all of them. He's in the other room, he makes another non committal noise as he sets the tux down, and Mildred meanwhile is surprised to hear about room that doesn't exist and now employees that don't exist. Steele comes out of the office, clearly distracted, and Mildred attempts to get his attention by telling him that Norman Keyes and some dame named Estelle Becker are looking for him. Suspiciously, she asks if he's in some kind of trouble, and Mildred obviously is smart enough to know at this point that something's going on here.

Eric: 1:42:21

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:42:23

She knows enough about Steele to know that not it's not all what it seems. No. Says He gives a guilty laugh and says, trouble? What trouble? And she says she doesn't know exactly, but she's cut off by the phone ringing. Steele tells her the phone is ringing and Mildred picks it up. He watches her answer it expectantly, and then puzzled, she tells him it's for him, an Ilse Lund. Steele tells Mildred he'll take it in his office, and Laura asks who Ilse Lund is. Steele stammers and says, a nurse probably with his test results and bolts into his office. Again, Steele. Come on. Mhmm. You have been quoting classic movies for 4 years. And you have given Clarissa a code name for 1 of the most well known classic films of all time, and you don't expect Laura to catch that?

Eric: 1:43:09

You know, it's almost as if he's wanting to get caught.

Sara: 1:43:12

Yeah. I wondered that too. That was honestly 1 of my thoughts was, is he doing this, maybe not consciously, but subconsciously, Laura to stop him? Because Yeah. This is sloppy. This is beyond sloppy.

Eric: 1:43:28

Yeah. And and we've talked about it before how his his skills as a con man seem to be atrophied because Yeah. He he's he's making more and more mistakes that somebody who's supposed to be a good con man shouldn't be making.

Sara: 1:43:42

Yeah. I mean, he would he could've at least chosen a name from a film that was more obscure that he was relatively certain Laura hadn't seen.

Eric: 1:43:51

Yes. He knows what he has taken her to see.

Sara: 1:43:54

Yeah. I mean, most people have either heard of Casablanca at least, if not seen it. Mhmm. And and especially in that time period, like, would be a well known film. So I don't know. This was just again, not very bright. And it takes Laura half a 2nd to realize what Steele just did. She mutters, and rushes over to the phone to listen in. Mildred asks what she's doing, and Laura tells her that was the name of the character Ingrid Bergman played in Casablanca. Just as curious now as Laura, both Mildred and Laura pick up the other extension. And side note, I had to explain to my daughter what a phone extension was the other day because she was reading a book. She was reading a book, and and it was an older book. It was, she's got a copy of, like, 12 of the Sweet Valley Twins books from, like, you know, the eighties. Mhmm. 1 of the scenes has 1 of the characters picking up another phone extension. She stopped and she goes, what is what do they mean phone extension? And I tried to explain landlines to her and and the fact that you could pick up a phone in another room and and hear the same. And she's like, but she it took me a few minutes for her to get it because she's like, but how? How would you hear them? And I'm like, because it's they're all connected. They're all the same phone line. And she's like, but I don't understand. I had to go over it. It eventually sank in, and she was like, woah. I'm like, oh, man. I feel so old. I feel so old. But, yeah, they pick up on the other phone extensions. And on the other end of the line, Clarissa tells Steele it's her and that she used the code name like he told her. He tells her excellent. And she goes on to say that there's been a change of schedule and it's been moved to 3 She asked if that will be a problem. He looks at his watch and says, no, he doesn't think so. He just has to take care of 1 minor detail and he will meet her over there. And again, this is this is the perfect time literally to confront him. She's just heard him talking to Clarissa and and organizing something and there's something going on and she's not being told about it. So, dude. Yeah. And I don't know if did we talk about blood tests in a different episode? Or am I am I hallucinating? Or not hallucinating, but am I

Eric: 1:46:03

I don't Recall if we did or not. We may have, but I I

Sara: 1:46:08

because I

Eric: 1:46:08

recall it.

Sara: 1:46:09

I was curious, and I looked up why you would get a blood test because I didn't get a blood test when I got married. Mhmm. It but I see this in in in movies all the time, especially older movies, people getting blood tests in order to get married. And so I Googled it. And I apologize to any of the listeners if you've already heard me say this because I can't remember. But beginning in the early 20th century, a number of US states passed laws mandating medical examinations for 1 or both parties before marriage. The most common requirement was a blood test for syphilis, though other diseases such as gonorrhea and rubella were sometimes also targeted. If a partner tested positive, they would generally be required to undergo treatment before they could receive a marriage license. Such laws were once widespread in The US with all but 8 states requiring premarital blood tests by 1954. Mandatory testing was also in effect in parts of Canada and some European nations such as Sweden. Most of these laws were repealed by the late 20th or early 21st century. So, obviously, that was not a thing when I got married, but it was because syphilis, according to this, was most commonly targeted by premarital examination laws. It was relatively widespread in the 1st half of the 20th century, estimated to affect more than 10 percent of Americans during their lifetime, which with many of those afflicted unaware that they were carrying the disease. Because syphilis could be transmitted from mother to child and cause birth defects, detecting the presence of the disease prior to marriage and the subsequent production of offspring was seen as a beneficial public health measure because of course, people never had sex or children outside of wedlock.

Eric: 1:47:38

That just never

Sara: 1:47:39

happened. But yeah, so that

Eric: 1:47:43

was And I I actually oh, I was gonna say, I actually had reference to blood tests later on in in a later scene that in California, as far as I could tell, no blood tests were required to get a marriage license.

Sara: 1:47:58

Did so did you have to get a blood test when you got married? No. Okay. So, yeah, by that point, it was probably not, like, as crucial, which is interesting because the AIDS crisis was just beginning.

Eric: 1:48:12

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:48:12

You would think they'd be ramping it up. But either way, that's where that comes from, the blood test requirement. So I just thought that was interesting. And if I have already said this before, I apologize. So, yeah. Clarissa tells him she's really excited, and he says he's rather fraught with anticipation himself. He hangs up, prompting Laura and Mildred to quickly do the same. He then comes rushing out of his office, tucks in hand, telling them that there's been a minor emergency. Either the lab mixed up his test results or he's got hepatitis.

Eric: 1:48:40

I've got comments about this. Go ahead and finish.

Sara: 1:48:43

Oh, okay. Well, just for those who don't know, hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver tissue. Some people or animals with hepatitis have no symptoms, whereas others develop yellow discoloration of the skin, whites of their eyes, jaundice, poor appetite, vomiting, tiredness, abdominal pain, diarrhea. It is acute if it resolves within 6 months and chronic if it lasts longer than 6 months. Acute hepatitis can resolve on its own or progress to chronic hepatitis or rarely result in acute liver failure. It's most commonly caused by the virus hepatovirus A, B, C, D, and E, and there's obviously different types. Hepatitis A, B, and D are preventable with vaccines. Medications may be used to treat chronic viral hepatitis. Antiviral medications are recommended in all with chronic hepatitis C, except those with conditions that limit their life expectancy. And there's no specific treatment for NASH. Physical activity, a healthy diet and weight loss are recommended. So, come on.

Eric: 1:49:36

Well, continue on with the because I've got I've got some comments about the next part. So

Sara: 1:49:42

go ahead. They've they've mixed up my test results or I've got hepatitis is what he says to, what he says to them. And then Mildred, super confused, says, what? And he reassures her that it's not the contagious kind, but not to drink out of his cup for the next 24 hours. He

Eric: 1:49:57

then Okay. 1st off Yeah.

Sara: 1:49:59

I was gonna say,

Eric: 1:50:00

you probably If it's the noncontagious kind, then it doesn't matter if they drink from his cup. Yep. So right there, Steele, you blew it. Secondly, where would he have gotten noncontagious hepatitis? Well Yeah. Noncontagious hepatitis can occur due to causes such as alcohol use, medications, toxins, or certain medical conditions and does not spread from person to person. Alcoholic hepatitis results from excessive alcohol consumption leading to the inflammation of the liver and is not contagious and is primarily caused by lifestyle choices. Drug induced hepatitis. Certain medications can cause liver inflammation as a side effect, and this includes over the counter pain relievers and prescription medications that may be toxic to the liver. Again, this form is not contagious. Toxic hepatitis, exposure to environmental toxins, chemicals, or poisons that can lead to liver inflammation. And this type of hepatitis is also non contagious and the result from external factors rather than viral infections. And then there's the chronic non viral hepatitis, conditions such as autoimmune hepatitis where the body's immune system attacks liver cells can cause chronic inflammation. And again, this type is not contagious and but does require medical management. So he he just he picked the worst possible thing to say because it's so easy to just what what do you mean it's not contagious? So don't drink out of my cup. I mean and and how did you get it? Well, you're you're an alcoholic? You're you know what?

Sara: 1:51:37

Yeah. The entire excuse is ridiculous.

Eric: 1:51:40

And it's Oh, it is.

Sara: 1:51:42

Very frustrating to watch because you're just sitting there thinking, like, come on. They're not gonna buy this. He has to know that. He's running back to the doctor with his tux.

Eric: 1:51:52

Well, and Laura doesn't seem to do anything about it. She just kind of lets it go. I

Sara: 1:51:58

have in big block letters, Con confront him. Like, I literally have that written there in my notes because it's yeah. This is where this is where she should be saying, like, stop. Do not move. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. What is happening? Mhmm. But she doesn't. He does tell Laura not to go back to UNIDEC as this case has gotten far too dangerous, and then he leaves.

Eric: 1:52:23

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:52:23

Laura rushes to follow, but Mildred stops her demanding to know what's going on. Laura frantics says, he's I'm going to lose him, and Mildred reassures her that she won't because Fred still has to bring the limo around and demands that Laura give. Laura reluctantly says that all she knows is that when Mr. Steele had his doctor's appointment, she saw him get into a car with Clarissa. Mildred realizes that's why Laura was asking all the questions and wonders what the boss is doing with a college tutor. Bless Mildred for still thinking that she's a tutor. Like, all this time has gone by, and she still hasn't figured this out.

Eric: 1:52:54

Bernard has been telling her that he's that she's a tutor. So, I mean, Bernard wouldn't lie to her.

Sara: 1:53:00

Yeah. She's sweet, Bernard. Yes. Laura takes public by his voice,

Eric: 1:53:06

realizing that

Sara: 1:53:07

honest, she so sweet. Yeah. And that this is where Laura realizes she has to shatter Mildred's illusions because she takes her by the shoulders and says, Clarissa is no college tutor. She's never even been to college. Confused, Mildred tells her that Bernard says she's the most popular girl on campus. And flatly, Laura tells her then, and off to. Clarissa is the kind that will be popular with anyone for the right price. Shocked, Mildred says, you're kidding. She starts to say, that's sweet, lovely girl. But then she stops mid sentence going, what is my nephew doing with a hooker? But she's

Eric: 1:53:44

He's her tax adviser.

Sara: 1:53:46

He's her tax adviser. Yeah. But she says, but the question is, what is mister Steele doing with her? And understanding the urgency now, Mildred says, go and find out. Laura tells her to keep working on Omega, and she'll check back in when she solved this mystery. Just as Laura leaves, the phone rings again. Eldred answers it to a frantic Alessandra saying she needs to talk to mister Steele. Kind of somewhat abruptly, Mildred says, take a number. Alessandra then asked for miss Hold. Mildred says she just missed her, so she can help. Alessandra tells Mildred her name, and Mildred realizes that she's the girl at Unidec. Her whole demeanor changes. She says, what's up, honey? Alessandra tells her the police are there and asks, what should she do? And then panicking, and the script even says, this is this is funny because it says where is it?

Eric: 1:54:32

Have to scroll Yeah. Down a little bit here. Panicking.

Sara: 1:54:34

Yeah. Yeah. Mildred, panicking. Don't panic.

Eric: 1:54:38

Yeah. Let me do the panicking for you.

Sara: 1:54:41

Yeah. Very much. So then we we switched over to the county courthouse, and we see Steele emerging from the building. He's walking down the steps. He's folding a piece of paper, slips it into his jacket. And then across the street, arms folded, eyes narrowed, we see Laura watching him get into the limo. And it's interesting that he didn't

Eric: 1:54:59

Steele's driving the limo. Where's Fred?

Sara: 1:55:00

Yeah. I was literally just about to say that. It's interesting that he gets into the limo, and Fred is nowhere to be seen.

Eric: 1:55:07

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, especially given the last scene where Mildred says, well, Fred needs to bring the limos around.

Sara: 1:55:12

Yeah.

Eric: 1:55:13

Assume that Fred's gonna be driving it and not just bringing it for mister Schumer Yeah.

Sara: 1:55:17

That's that would be my assumption.

Eric: 1:55:19

Also, I have some problems with this because Steele is obviously there to get a marriage license. Well, to obtain a marriage license in California, both parties must apply together in person with valid photo ID. Hello? Well Where's Clarissa?

Sara: 1:55:40

Just because we don't see her doesn't mean she wasn't there. Maybe she went out in a a different exit or something. I don't know.

Eric: 1:55:45

It's yeah.

Sara: 1:55:48

I

Eric: 1:55:49

I'm not buying it. Not buying it. Nope. Nope. She was there, he was there by herself, by himself, getting it. So uh-uh. No. Fine.

Sara: 1:56:01

But my my notes I even have in my notes. If he was going to drive himself, why not get the Auburn?

Eric: 1:56:07

Yes. That that was another part of my question, but I just kind of glossed over it there when I was asking. But yeah.

Sara: 1:56:13

It is weird. I don't think we've ever seen anybody but Fred drive the limo.

Eric: 1:56:17

No. Mm-mm.

Sara: 1:56:18

Like, this is very, very unusual. Yeah. So, yeah. He gets in and then he drives away and then she starts to do the same and then she's cut off by a sedan and she gets out and she confronts the man in the sedan. That rhymes, man in sedan. And it is a man named who introduces himself as Lyle Andrews, Unidac Security. He tells her she has a lot of explaining to do. And I know she questions him this on this later, but I don't think security from a private company can stop you in the street.

Eric: 1:56:54

But I Not legally. No. I mean No. In a in a practical sense, they can, but legally, they can't.

Sara: 1:57:00

Yeah. So annoyed, she watches as the car disappears from view and tells Lyle that he also has some explaining to do. And like I said, she says he has no right to pull over a private citizen. Lyle tells her that she that he has a report that she was in a high security area, and that's all he needs to sic the FBI on her. She asked him why he doesn't, and Lyle tells her because he knows her boss' reputation, and the Feds always find a way to screw things up. He asked her who she's working for, but Laura tells him, sorry. He tells her that she's in trouble, and he's trying to give her a break, but Laura's not buying it. She tells him no dice. Lyle tells her that she's forcing him to call the FBI and that if she could just tell him what the case concerns, maybe they could come to a compromise somehow.

Eric: 1:57:38

Okay. 1st of all, the man's already played his hand. Yeah. He is not going to call the FBI. He only wants to know what she knows. So Yep. Laura, get your head into the game. And then secondly, it's the same mistake that she made when she told the guy at the, personnel records department that she'll let security guy off. You don't Yeah. Let someone off for a security violation. So red flags everywhere. I

Sara: 1:58:08

mean Yeah. No. I I agree with you.

Eric: 1:58:12

She should be better than this.

Sara: 1:58:13

Would be This is I agree. Better This is 1 of the things that bothers me about this episode is that Laura is dumbed down by the writers because she makes some really stupid choices. Going to that room when she's page 2? Come on. Yeah. Not not as you said, her dealing with the other guy and the personnel files this here. Mhmm. This is this is not smart. And and Steel's not being smart with his his shenanigans either. But, like, this is just surprisingly stupid for her.

Eric: 1:58:43

No. The but the difference is that with Steele, we can look back at his his history and Yeah. Say Yeah. It's really, really a dumb thing to do, but it's consistent with his behavior in the past.

Sara: 1:58:55

Yes. Absolutely.

Eric: 1:58:57

This is not With Laura, season 3, season 4, her intellectual level, her skill as an investigator has dropped precipitately and actually even started back in season 2.

Sara: 1:59:12

I would I think it it it's been up and down, but I don't disagree that she's written.

Eric: 1:59:17

But overall, the trend has been down. She's written. And it there's clearly only 1 reason. It's because Murphy and Bernice are not there.

Sara: 1:59:25

Yeah. Well, that and and because

Eric: 1:59:27

I think I'm sorry. Yeah.

Sara: 1:59:28

Silly. Pierce Brosnan was becoming so popular that they were leaning into him more than they were to her, which is frustrating because

Eric: 1:59:35

Yeah.

Sara: 1:59:36

I'm not saying that I think the tendency this is what bothers me sometimes about TV like this. Whereas the tendency is that we can only have 1 smart character on the show. So it either has to be the smart woman or the smart man, but we can't have both. And it's kind of ridiculous because they're both smart in different ways. I like the scenes where Steele uses his street smarts to figure things out like that scene in the pool hall in the previous episode that was well done well written because that's something that Laura maybe doesn't have as much exposure to. Right? Whereas Right. Her own ability to use legwork and her training and the things that she does know should be on showcase too. Like, there's no reason why it has to be a competition between the 2 of them.

Eric: 2:00:21

Yeah. It's the same the same mentality that at this time said, you can only have 1 lead character.

Sara: 2:00:35

Yeah.

Eric: 2:00:35

And then Yeah. A 2nd lead. But you couldn't have an ensemble cast because

Sara: 2:00:39

Right.

Eric: 2:00:40

Well, nobody could follow it. It would be too hard to write for it. You know, all the excuses that they gave or that they mentally Yeah. Used to dismiss the idea of moving beyond the single lead and then the the 2nd lead. It just

Sara: 2:00:55

while you've got Friends a decade later. Speaking of Friends, you've got them a decade later where by the end of that series, every single 1 of them was making 1000000 dollars per episode. Mhmm. And that was an ensemble cast of 6 characters. It Mhmm. It can be done. It's not impossible to write. And this is 1 of those situations where you're just like, she's smarter than this because she says Omega. Surprised, he asked how she knows about Omega. She asked him what it is, and he says top secret. They won't even tell him in security. Laura tells him that someone in the company found out and was killed for it. He was very smart. He found out the man who the man was and framed his secretary. She says that since then, someone at UNIDEC has tried to kill her. Lyle asks if she would like to tell her story to the president at UNIDAC. She asks, what about the FBI? Lyle tells her, forget about the FBI. It sounds like they have a conspiracy on their hands. He asks if she wants to expose it or stand there being righteously indignant. She thinks Well, hello.

Eric: 2:01:47

If you have a conspiracy concerning a top secret presumably government project Yeah. The FBI is the very 1st people you would call Yes. And you would have them there with the the company's people

Sara: 2:02:01

Yep.

Eric: 2:02:02

Getting briefed.

Sara: 2:02:03

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. And she agrees to get in the car. And my notes, I In wrote my notes, I wrote dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb because no. You don't no.

Eric: 2:02:18

My my my comment here is a little little more gentle and a little more compassionate. Yeah. In big bold letters, it says, don't get into the car. What have you done with your brain?

Sara: 2:02:30

Yeah. Right? Like, where is it? Where has it gone? You've

Eric: 2:02:35

moved south a little bit.

Sara: 2:02:37

Yeah. The character assassination for both of these characters in this episode is painful. Mhmm. We've got her reduced to a jealous shrew and him reduced to kind of an idiot when it comes to being a con man. Like, he's just not very good at it. And the 2 of them, it's just it's it hurts. Yeah. Yeah. We switched back over to Unidec, and we've got Alessandra. Poor Alessandra. Like

Eric: 2:03:03

Mhmm.

Sara: 2:03:04

I just feel bad for her. Because she's got these 2 police officers, and they're standing inside the office, and she's standing there with the payroll supervisor. The I said the woman in gray, but it might payroll supervisor. And the cop asked the payroll supervisor. She actually saw the body. She says no, then points at Alessandra and says, but she wouldn't let me in. And she thought

Eric: 2:03:28

Well, there's your proof Yeah. Right

Sara: 2:03:31

it's it's clear, obviously, that this woman's involved because there's no way in hell You would call and report a murder simply because you couldn't see a middle manager 1 day of your work day. Like that wouldn't be a thing anybody does. So like that's a glaring freaking red flag because she knows he's dead and and nobody's exposed that yet. And obviously, they expected it to be exposed. So, the cop cuts her off indignant that she called in a murder without a body. Fair. She tells him something strange is going on. Bernetta's been canceling appointments all morning. Edictment. Nobody has seen him. She asks Alessandra where he is, and she tie tips up her chin and says, lunch. The payroll supervisor is not mollified.

She says at 03: 2:04:14

30, with who? And this is where Mildred, god bless her, comes in swinging because she's saving the day.

Eric: 2:04:22

The only character in this 4th season. She's the only character that they've actually written to be not just as intelligent as she was in the past, but even more so.

Sara: 2:04:31

Yeah. She's become more competent, more able to hold her ground, to be smart, to think on her feet. She comes in and says, me. She announces herself as Krebs IRS. Cop asks if she just had lunch with Burnett and Mildred in full fraud squad mode, asks, have you a hearing problem? I love her. What was that? The payroll supervisor asks, where is he now? And Mildred says, the blue parrot, tying 1 on. And she looks at Alessandra and says, US secretary? She nods and Mildred says, she's gonna need his expense receipts going back 5 years. And the cop, he says, she'd be he might have been better off 10. Which is quite funny because obviously, the minute a bigger bureaucracy comes in, you know, uh-oh, we better get out of here.

Eric: 2:05:18

Not only that but but he he can tell from Mildred's attitude, her tone of voice, her her indignant,

Sara: 2:05:29

just Yeah. Everything.

Eric: 2:05:32

Yeah. That that, oh, man, this brunette guy, he is in deep trouble. I wouldn't wanna be And even if he even if he was my worst enemy, I wouldn't want him to be where he is right now.

Sara: 2:05:46

Pretty much. Because he turns back around and admonishes them saying, next time, make sure there's a body. The 2 cops leave along with the payroll supervisor who seems to know she's well, of course, she knows she's been lied to. She knows that Burnett wasn't at lunch. They rush up to the door and close it, only for Mildred to see Burnett's body hanging from the door. And, I mean, I'm gonna call bullcrap on this because dead bodies are extremely heavy Yes. And the body would rip. Would not hold his entire body. He's hanging from it like he's a suit. It's it's funny, but it's not

Eric: 2:06:32

But we kinda did this back in the pilot episode too.

Sara: 2:06:35

True. Yeah. That's true. That's true.

Eric: 2:06:38

So we we didn't criticize it then, so I guess we can't criticize it now.

Sara: 2:06:42

We'll have to hand wave it here.

Eric: 2:06:43

We gotta be consistent.

Sara: 2:06:45

Poor Mildred. She whimpers and takes a step back, and panicked. Alessandra said it was the best she could do under the circumstances. She offers her some water, Mildred brushes it off. I see things like this all the time, but then she stumbles as she goes toward the couch and needs to sit down. They sit down, and Alessandra asks who Mildred is. She tells her Krebs, Remington Seal Investigations. Alexandra tells her that that payroll supervisor called the cops and deduces that she must be in on it, whatever it is. And Mildred realizes that she's right and that they aren't gonna stop now, whoever they are. She concludes that they have to get the stuff out of there. Alexandra asks how? And Mildred shrugs saying, open to suggestions. They look at each other in confusion and then this scene is quite, like, ingenious, I think.

Eric: 2:07:28

I a question about it, but go ahead.

Sara: 2:07:32

Well, is the question how did they get the mail cart in there? Or

Eric: 2:07:35

No. No. Okay.

Sara: 2:07:37

Because we see Mildred pushing the mail cart loaded to the brim with mail. Several secretaries wanna add to the outgoing mail pile, but Mildred waves them off, says, sorry, full load. You have to wait for the next cart.

Eric: 2:07:47

Okay. She So then why did she leave the main aisle? Because she was she she started out coming down the main aisle. She takes a detour, goes down in between the desks in the little area. It's it's not really even an office because there's no doors or or walls or anything. She goes down the aisles between the desks telling everybody, no. No. No. No. I I'm I'm full. And then comes back out into the main aisle where she just was. I mean, this is like the routing that I get from Uber and Lyft. You get off the road, drive through this neighborhood, and then come back and get on the road again.

Sara: 2:08:24

Yeah. No. It it isn't. It doesn't make any sense, but it's it's funny to watch, I guess. That's, I guess, the the purpose of it. She moves on and she sneaks a look down at the cart where we see Burnett folded in the cart and covered with mail. She whistles and she continues down the hall. So we've we've got that plan in action, whereas we get a scene change here and in the gray sedan, Laura and Lyle are driving towards what we see is like oceanfront property. Laura comments that she didn't realize UNIDEC had any oceanfront property. And Lyle says, well, it's the president. He likes to get away sometimes. Laura pulls out a comb and attempts to brush her hair and then gives out saying, forget it. And this is probably the only part of Lyle that's even remotely human.

Eric: 2:09:09

Mhmm.

Sara: 2:09:09

Because he sees her give up on the hair and just laughs. Mhmm. Just funny until he then asks her what put her on to Burnett in the 1st place, and she freezes. And Lyle immediately realizes his mistake.

Eric: 2:09:23

Oops.

Sara: 2:09:24

And this drives me nuts in movies because I'm all and I get it. It's human nature. Mhmm. And probably you wouldn't be able to control your reaction, but I always think to myself, like, act natural. Answer his question. Pretend you don't notice. And then when you get your 2nd, escape. Mhmm. But she doesn't. Her reaction to what he says clues him into the fact that he screwed up.

Eric: 2:09:48

Yep.

Sara: 2:09:48

Because he he smiles. He gives her a really chilling smile and he says, oh, that's right. You never said his name.

Eric: 2:09:57

Yeah.

Sara: 2:09:57

So now she's now they both know that they're in trouble.

Eric: 2:10:02

Mhmm.

Sara: 2:10:02

And after a beat, she throws her door open and bails out. And we see her basically, like, rolling down a a bluff, I guess. Yeah. Would that be the correct word for it? A cliff, basically.

Eric: 2:10:15

Cliff side of the road. Yeah.

Sara: 2:10:16

Yeah. So he he jumps out of the car and he you see he's got a gun in his hand. He pursues Laura. Like I said, he jumps down a a cliff and he he's watching. He takes aim, but he's too far away. She's she's running down the beach. Yep. She stood when she goes down the cliff, she's like, tumbling head over heels. She's covered in dirt. Like she's the hair is still I

Eric: 2:10:39

have to question whether she would have really been able to just get up and run off like that after having rolled down that

Sara: 2:10:45

indictment. I agree. It was probably a little it's it's kinda ridiculous, but again, I guess we gotta hand wave that too. So

Eric: 2:10:54

Yes.

Sara: 2:10:55

So we've got the next again, the script is funny here. Every time it describes her increasingly worsening appearance, the script is quite funny with it. Because this says, as the elevator open opens, and Laura gets out looking like something the cat wouldn't bring in, her hair remains frazzled, her clothes are ripped, nylons run, and she's covered with dirt. And 1 of her high heels is broken, forcing her to walk with an awkward gait. As she proceeds to the office, she draws stairs from passersby and then her to, got a problem, buddy? To the guy passing by. It's like, I love it. I it. I love it. I love it. That's funny. We see her limped into the office. Again, 1 of that 1 of her shoes missing a heel. She calls for Mildred or mister Steele, when no answer comes, she grabs a pair of white running shoes from the filing cabinet.

Eric: 2:11:45

Okay. So she returns to the office. There's no 1 there. The door wasn't locked. Does anyone in this office ever lock any doors? I know. What's the point? Because everybody just breaks in. But I mean, Mildred should have a little bit more together than that because you you don't walk out and leave the office unattended and unlocked. I mean, you you come back, your computers will be gone, everything. It's just Yeah. It's the it's I'm sorry. No. No. No. No.

Sara: 2:12:20

No. No. Keep waving. Just keep waving.

Eric: 2:12:22

Just Yeah. Keep waving.

Sara: 2:12:23

Keep waving. So, yeah, we get she's she's in. She grabs her shoes. The phone rings. She storms over the phone, picking it up and throwing away her heel in frustration. The voice on the other end tells her he is, this is Starbright Jewelers. She says, hooray for you. This poor guy, I've gotta feel bad, like, you know, he's just doing his job. He's just making a call.

Eric: 2:12:46

And and, of course, as she's answering the talking on the phone, she's changing into her tennis shoes and

Sara: 2:12:53

I like slit skirts. Yeah.

Eric: 2:12:58

I mean, I I I won't say anything beyond that, but I I like them.

Sara: 2:13:06

Oh, yeah. Okay. Circ and then he asks if mister Steele is in sarcastically, are you kidding? And again, this poor guy doesn't know. He doesn't know what's going on.

Eric: 2:13:15

Why kick it out on him? I mean, come on.

Sara: 2:13:18

He ignores her, thankfully, and tells her to tell him that they are sending the rings over to the church as discussed. There will be an extra charge, of course, but Laura, finally paying attention, asks, what church? And the man tells her the Little Chapel of Perpetual Happiness. Happiness. That is

Eric: 2:13:33

the worst. Name. I mean, that sounds like something out of Las Vegas.

Sara: 2:13:36

It really does. Oof. I just yeah. I I that's that's that's gotta add insult to injury that that that. So speaking to herself, she mutters blood test, tuxedo, county courthouse. Her eyes grow wide as the man on the other end asks if she's still there, and she looks at the phone and yells, the little chapel of perpetual happiness before slamming it down. And then she makes this hilarious noise of, like, sheer exasperation and walks to her office, only for the phone to ring again. She storms back to it, picks it up, now what? This time it's Mildred. She asks her where she is, and Mildred says she's the unit she's in the Unidec mailroom. Confused and distracted, she asks, what is she doing there? And Mildred tells her that someone called the cops on Alessandra, but it's okay. She says she put the body where it will be lost for hours, if not days. Laura asks, where is that? Mildred, pleased with herself, says priority mail.

Eric: 2:14:33

Can I tell you a mail story? Sure.

Sara: 2:14:35

Can I I

Eric: 2:14:37

had something that I had purchased? And with with US mail, if you get tracking on it, you can you can follow that. They've got an app. You can go to their website, put in the tracking number, and it'll it'll tell you the expected delivery date. Now the word very specifically is expected. As in, based on everything that we know as far as the amount of volume, the type of the the the level of service that was purchased for this package, whatnot, this is what we estimate it will arrive at taking all, you know, factors into consideration. Right. Well, I've had packages, and I had this recently happened, that it was sitting at the distribution center in Anchorage 15 miles away

Sara: 2:15:34

Yes. Oh my gosh.

Eric: 2:15:35

For a week.

Sara: 2:15:37

Yeah. This

Eric: 2:15:38

And when you contact the post office and say, why is it just sitting there? Why aren't you, oh, it's not scheduled for delivery. No. It's not the word is not scheduled. It is expected. That doesn't mean you just sit there and hold it until, okay, well, it has to deliver by tomorrow. So now we can do something with it. No. If you've got it there, you do something with it. The you know, and and then then if you have a package that doesn't make it by the expected date and it's not even close I mean, it's not like it's you know, it got weather delayed for a day or whatever. It's just not even close.

Sara: 2:16:18

It's Yeah.

Eric: 2:16:18

Well, that's not a scheduled delivery date. That's unexpected, and and things happen. Well, now you're changing the terminology and the words again. I mean, it's just mean, Mildred's right. If if put priority mail in their mailroom, it will never get delivered.

Sara: 2:16:38

I haven't even I haven't even more in, like, insane story. When my husband when we were when we filed his application to become a permanent resident in Canada Mhmm. He was still in The UK. So essentially, we got married in November. We sent out all the paperwork in January. I came back in December because I couldn't stay for too long and we were essentially waiting for him to get his entry visa. So he could officially land in Canada as a landed resident. He stayed there to continue working until that happened because if he were to come to Canada, he could have come and stayed, but he wouldn't be able to work until he got that permanent residency. So it just made more sense for him to stay there. Had planned a visit. So he wasn't it wasn't as official because he could still visit. Right? We had planned a visit. My sister was getting married. He was gonna come for her wedding in May. Okay. So Okay. We had he booked the plane tickets. Had everything set to go. And then in April, he received notification from immigration saying that his visa had been approved and he needed to send in his passport to get the visa placed in the passport. And he had to do it then, but we were assured it would only take, you know, 4 weeks ish and we would have the passport back before his trip. He sent in the passport and we never got it back. It just disappeared. And so we are looking at like days leading up to this trip because in addition now, this was no longer officially a visit officially. He landed in Canada in May. Spoiler alert. It turned out. Okay. But like that visit was his official Landing by accident because it went faster than we thought. But we waited and waited for this passport to come back in the mail, and it just wasn't happening. And so he tried he went down to his post office several times and asked, is there anything there for me? Is there anything there for me? And they said, no. I tried calling my member of parliament to see if they could figure out what happened to it. And they were like, well, we can't give you personal information for him. And I'm like, I get that, but could you at least point us in the right direction? No. We can't do anything. Sorry. And literally days are, you know

Eric: 2:18:43

I can't even tell you who to talk to.

Sara: 2:18:45

We didn't even know what country it was in. We didn't know if it had gotten back

Eric: 2:18:49

to him or who was, response.

Sara: 2:18:50

Yeah.

Eric: 2:18:50

I'm talking about his response. I can't even tell you who to go to talk to because that's classified information. That's personal. Yeah.

Sara: 2:18:56

Yeah. No. It's not.

Eric: 2:18:58

It's I know. I'm asking you who is the person in charge?

Sara: 2:19:01

I know. I know. So then, you know, we're, like, 2 days away from when were he supposed to fly out to come and visit me, and he's basically thinking that he's gonna lose the money he spent on this flight. And in a last ditch effort, he went back to his post office and asked, like, are you sure there's nothing there for me? Like, anything at all. And the guy was like, no. No. There isn't. He's like, nothing from Canada? And he's like, oh, wait a minute. Yeah. There's something from Canada. And it had been, like, there the whole time, and just nobody had yeah. So this was literally

Eric: 2:19:32

The question is, is there anything here for me? Not is there anything for me here Canada. From from Scotland.

Sara: 2:19:40

You know? So, yeah, he the day before he was due to fly out, he got his passport, and that was his official landing in Canada. And he ended up leaving. He didn't stay, obviously, because that was only ever supposed to be a visit. He had to go back and sell his his flat and get quit his job, and he didn't officially come to live here until October. But it was like, oh my god. Really? You had it the whole time and yeah.

Eric: 2:20:05

What's that? I'm a government employee. I don't have to care attitude. This just infuriates people.

Sara: 2:20:11

Priority mail. So that's where Burnett is put, and Mildred's probably right. It's he's he's pretty safe there. So Mildred asked where she's gonna be, and Laura angrily says, the little chapel of perpetual happiness before hanging up and storming towards the door. Poor Mildred looks even more confused. So, inside the little chapel of perpetual happiness, we've got the minister who's described as a genial, even tempered fellow. And he and we've got Steele and Clarissa Mhmm. Standing before the minister. She is in a white wedding dress, veil, train, the whole bit. And he is in a crisp tuxedo. Yes. Looking good.

Eric: 2:20:51

Oh, yes. She is. Oh, mean,

Sara: 2:20:53

yeah, he is. You're gonna So you've gotta be honest here. You've got a thing for wedding dresses. Is this where we're going?

Eric: 2:21:02

I No comment.

Sara: 2:21:10

Interesting. Okay. Sweaters, glasses and wedding dresses.

Eric: 2:21:14

Yeah.

Sara: 2:21:15

Put a sweater over a wedding dress.

Eric: 2:21:18

It's like the and then the next No. That's

Sara: 2:21:21

I'm just trying to figure out what the what the recipe is.

Eric: 2:21:25

Well, those are 2 ingredients that just don't go together. I'm sorry. Fair. That's alright. They're good on their own, but they don't go together. Yes.

Sara: 2:21:32

Okay. So we've got the minister say, again, they're standing there. He's talking about symbol of your truth, your lifelong commitment to 1 another. He hands her the ring with this ring Ivy wed. She does the same. Okay. What was his plan here? I guess this is where I'm gonna bring this up because was he going to like, he later tells Laura that they have to be married for 2 years in order for immigration to see it as valid. So Mhmm. What was he planning to do? Was he planning to move in with her? Was he was she gonna keep her own apartment and then just try to play house if immigration stopped by? Was he gonna was he paying her every month for this? Was this a service that was going to be like

Eric: 2:22:14

Hourly rate?

Sara: 2:22:15

Well, I mean, he says he's being paid. He's paying by the hour, but then I I have to think that if she's doing this for him, she is legally marrying him. This is not a a this is not playing dress up like later. This is literally he's gotten the license and the blood test and everything like he's doing this for real. Yeah. So this is her like she's also marrying him. This is affecting her too. And this is I this is an awful lot of trust that he's placing in Clarissa because if, like, obviously, they're they're intending for the marriage to be ended once the 2 year period is up, I would assume. Mhmm. Right? By law, would be in

Eric: 2:22:57

My my my presumption was that they came to some sort of an arrangement where, yes, she would be basically his his wife in legally. She would they would probably live together. It may or may not be any conjugal visits. But basically, she he was gonna take care of her, pay her bills. She was gonna be set up really, really nice to offset her lost income from her other tutoring activities. And

Sara: 2:23:31

Her tutoring job.

Eric: 2:23:34

And and yeah. I mean, she was it was he she he was basically hiring her to be this and the they probably had some sort of agreement. They may have even written down a private agreement that they stashed in a a safe somewhere with a lawyer that, you know, after 2 years, this is what's gonna happen. This is what you'll get out of out of the settlement from the the

Sara: 2:23:58

Well, yeah. Prenup, basically.

Eric: 2:24:00

Yeah. Right? Yeah. Basically. Yeah.

Sara: 2:24:03

So okay. But I don't think that he ever intended for her to live with him because if he's he there's no way

Eric: 2:24:10

have to.

Sara: 2:24:11

No. Because I think I was this yeah. This is where like, this is such a silly idea because if he was trying to if he's trying to keep this from Laura, she can't be living with him. So he obvious like, I don't think he ever intended for her to find out. I think this was what something he was going to do. And if immigration showed up, he'd have Clarissa pop in and and they play house, but I don't think he ever intended for her to be living with

Eric: 2:24:41

him He would almost every because have they would have to show that they are living together as man and wife. So she would have to move in. She would have to have all of her documentation, everything adjusted to whatever address they are cohabitating, presumably his apartment. And I think that his plan was to because they they never know what kind of investigation immigration was going to follow-up, plus the fact that Keyes is involved in it. They had to play it really, really tight. So I think his plan was to go through the process, marry her, and then after that was all said and done and there couldn't be any Laura couldn't do anything about it, then to let her know, oh, this was the situation. I'm not saying it was a good plan. I'm just saying I think I think

Sara: 2:25:32

he I think

Eric: 2:25:33

he he had to have been planning to let her know because they're even if let's let's take your version of it here that they're just going to try and put on a show whenever necessary. Laura was bound to find out.

Sara: 2:25:47

Oh, I'm not arguing there at all.

Eric: 2:25:49

It's ridiculous. He's better off planning for that and telling her you know, getting out in front of it, once it's to the point where she can't do anything to stop it, then then it would be to try to hide it from Laura, but make it visible to immigration and keys?

Sara: 2:26:13

I I personally think I'm gonna say I don't think that was the intention, but I am going to agree with you that that would be something that he would have to do. And that's where I think that he's not thinking this through and that this is evidence of that. He's not thinking this through because he's basically running around reacting to this situation that is cropped up and he's panicking and he's just doing the 1st thing he can think of. Fine. I'll marry someone. I don't think he actually ever thought about what would happen after the fact. I think he was hoping that immigration would be satisfied. They'd go away, and that he could just sweep it under the rug. I think that's what he was hoping for. I'm not

Eric: 2:26:52

disagreeing. I think he's right. At this point knows that they've got to keep up the the the act for 2 years because

Sara: 2:27:02

I think he knows the I think he knows the marriage has to be valid for 2 years. But I I honestly think that he was hoping that he could just make it all go away.

Eric: 2:27:10

Okay. But see, if it's gotta be valid for 2 years, that means that you are presuming, maybe incorrectly, but you are at least presuming the possibility that they will be checking up on you. And they will probably be checking up on you without advance notice.

Sara: 2:27:31

Yeah. I also think

Eric: 2:27:32

this was given that his Keys is involved.

Sara: 2:27:35

I really think this was 1 of his, like, I'll I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it. Like, he's not thinking ahead in this. No.

Eric: 2:27:41

This this is burn that bridge while I'm standing on

Sara: 2:27:43

Yeah. Pretty much. Because none of this was something like you're right. He was never gonna be able to keep any of this from Laura. This is 100% a better to ask forgiveness than permission type of plan, and he has to know that it would only be worse if that was his plan. If it was his plan to move Clarissa in, he has to know that that would torpedo his relationship permanently. That Laura would not stick around and stay involved with him romantically while he's got a woman living in his home.

Eric: 2:28:10

Unless he could assure her that was all just for show. I'll use that word show. Meaning that he's going through it, he's putting on the act, she's living with him as his his wife, but they're not actually internally, they're not acting as man and wife. It's just there to satisfy all the tick boxes. And that since there's really no emotional involvement with Clarissa, he can still continue to have his relationship with Laura. That's a really

Sara: 2:28:45

I mean, that would

Eric: 2:28:46

be I know

Sara: 2:28:47

it is.

Eric: 2:28:47

I know it is. But that's got to be the thinking here.

Sara: 2:28:51

If we go with your line of thinking where As we should. Plan was to move her in, okay, He would have to cut off every part of his relationship with Laura because if the if immigration is watching him and they see that he's having an affair on his supposed wife, they're gonna they're gonna ask questions. They're gonna wonder, is this relationship valid? Is this this is a marriage of convenience? They're gonna look into her. It's it's not gonna he would and I don't think Laura

Eric: 2:29:19

Okay. So so they they they sneak around. They

Sara: 2:29:22

hide. I'm saying Laura wouldn't do it. I'm I'm he has to know that Laura's not gonna be okay with any of that. He had to know that. Which is why I think he was trying to sweep it under the rug and just hope everything would go away. I'm not saying it would. I'm saying you're right. Like, he if he would I think he would find out the hard way after the marriage was legalized that, oh, wait. I'm gonna have to move her in. Oh, wait. I'm gonna have to do this. I think that he's not he's this is stupid. This is really stupid. I mean,

Eric: 2:29:50

I don't disagree that it's it's stupid. I mean, it is, but I I think he's giving it he may not have given it as much thought as I presume he did, but I think he's given it more thought than you presume he did.

Sara: 2:30:04

We'll we'll we'll see what the Steele the Steele watchers think. But either way, we see them standing in front of the minister. The script describes the situation as a modest the chapel a modest structure. Next to the minister stands an older woman who could be his wife. She's not actually in the shot, I don't think. I think they kind of got rid of her, but I don't remember if she was there. But an elderly organist sits to 1 side of the altar with a cheap portable electric organ. The pews are empty, safe for 2 elderly professional witnesses sitting in the front row and a half dozen Clarissa's friends, fellow professionals who have dolled up for the occasion and are finding it hard to repress some sniffles. I like that description of her her fellow professionals that she has.

Eric: 2:30:46

I just double checked. And yes, there is an older woman

Sara: 2:30:49

Wow.

Eric: 2:30:49

Didn't even notice her. The podium.

Sara: 2:30:53

I said, I didn't notice her at all. That's kinda funny.

Eric: 2:30:55

Oh, yeah. She's there, but she's off to the side.

Sara: 2:30:58

Yeah. Fair enough. The minister does the typical, we must ask if there is anyone present who knows why these 2 should not be wed, let them speak now, or and the door slams open at the rear of the church, and Laura you better believe it, buster. And the script says the color drains from Remington's face as all eyes turn to see Laura storming at the aisle, marching into the altar, spitting blood. And she attacks him. You fraud. You liar. And he tells the minister, unbalanced cousin. She lunges for his throat. You double dealing snake. He scoops her up over his shoulder. And I don't understand this question. Wouldn't happen to have any wet sheets, would you? What what does that mean?

Eric: 2:31:43

I think in the past when people were hysterical and they didn't have a straight jacket, they would use wet sheets to wrap them in because I guess, if you if they if they're wet and you wrap them tight, they're more difficult to get out of. I I don't know if that's

Sara: 2:32:06

Yeah. I was confused by that by that line. It but either way, she's still yelling, blood test, tuxedo, salon. He just tends to babble when she gets excited. Be right back. He throws her over his shoulder and then he smacks her butt, which I mean, again, this is he has to know at this point Mhmm. That this is not funny to her. Like, I think this is 1 of the most blatant sort of character assassinations for him because, yeah, we've seen him be like, we've seen him torment her for for fun. We've seen him be, amused by, like, you know, Steele blushing when the Mhmm. With the magazine and all that stuff. We've but this is, like, taking it to another level. She is

Eric: 2:33:01

Well, I don't think he smacks her butt as much as he He he grabs he's grabbing her to try and keep her from throwing herself back and and escaping.

Sara: 2:33:14

Either way, like, he's

Eric: 2:33:15

Either way, the the whole yeah. Just the throw her over your shoulders and and carry her off, And kicking his he's

Sara: 2:33:22

still lighting and how upset she is. He seems amused by it. Not not bothered by how upset she is. He you know, unbalanced cousin. That it's it's played off as comedy, but it's really, really not funny in any way. Like, he takes her to the into the side room. He locks her in the closet. And she's still yelling, obviously. And he just he he shuts the door. He puts a couch and a table against it. She's yelling to let her out. He goes back to the door and says, somebody that will laugh at this. Unlikely. I don't I don't see this as something that Laura's ever gonna be like, oh, remember that time you tried to marry a hooker and didn't tell me and then put me in a closet? It's so funny. Don't see that being something they they sit down and share a laugh about.

Eric: 2:34:07

No. So, yeah.

Sara: 2:34:08

He he hurries back to the minister. And then he says to the minister, don't worry. She exhausts easily. She'll be down to a dull whimper in moments. Shall we continue? Ouch. Like, the officiant looks unsure, but says very well and repeats the line of requesting anyone who knows any reason they shouldn't be married. Stop the wedding, Keyes. Yes. And everybody turns and looks as Norman Keyes, cigar in hand, Estelle Becker, they charge up the aisle. He says this marriage is a complete fraud, just like the groom. And Norman Keys, vigilance insurance. And she introduces herself as and this is the 1st time where she actually says what she does, I think. Mhmm. Because she all she said

Eric: 2:34:55

before She basically hasn't talked to anybody other than Keyes in the in the Yeah. Corridor.

Sara: 2:35:01

And she says her name, and so she's from Immigration and Naturalization Services. With a knowing smile, she says to Steele that it's nice to see him again. Keith says he knew he would try to pull something like this, and Steele claims not to know what he's talking about. Keith tells him the bride is nothing but a 2 bit tramp with a rap sheet a mile long, and her friends all yell boo from the pews. Clarissa tells Norman to watch it, Baldi. And Estelle tells Steele that as she has already told him in their 1st interview, a marriage of convenience cannot be used to establish residency. He insists that it's not a marriage of convenience, that he is deeply, deeply in love with this young lady. He kisses Clarissa very passionately, which is apparently enough to convince Estelle, but not Keys. And I have to say, as much as I like Estelle and I do like her, she's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Well She's She

Eric: 2:35:48

probably knows what's going on,

Sara: 2:35:50

but Yeah.

Eric: 2:35:52

She doesn't have she probably doesn't have the authority or the evidence to challenge his statement at this point.

Sara: 2:36:06

Fair enough.

Eric: 2:36:06

It's probably 1 of those, I know you're lying, you know you're lying, you know I know you're lying, and, you know, 1 of those things. And I can't do anything about it right now, but I'll I'll get you in the end because I know and you know and you know that I know and I know that you know that I know that, know

Sara: 2:36:29

We've got Laura who has managed to get out of the closet and she climbs she's piled the furniture up and she's kind of looking out this window that's at the top of the door. And as is this is where she sees them kissing. And she just lets out this cry of dismay. And I feel so bad for her because, like, this is awful for her. She doesn't know what's going on at this point. She literally has no clue Mhmm. Why he's marrying this person. Just that he lied to her, he's run off with her, and now he shoved her in this room. Ew. Estelle says she's satisfied for the moment, and the officiant agrees that they have his vote. Keyes protests saying that they're as phony as a pair of $3 bills. Steele holds Clarissa closer and says, if you don't mind, Norman. Points at Steele and says, this isn't over before walking away. The officiant says they can jump ahead in the interest of time and out pronounce you. Here's my question. Mhmm. If he's if they've technically, the marriage ceremony is a formality. Correct? Like, you've signed the marriage license, does it does it matter whether or not the minister has because now everybody gets married in a church, like

Eric: 2:37:37

They've gotta have 3 more signatures before it's official.

Sara: 2:37:40

Yeah. Okay. That's

Eric: 2:37:40

my The minister and 2 witnesses.

Sara: 2:37:42

Yeah. So, okay. Fair enough.

Eric: 2:37:45

And and depending on on the minister and depending on the witnesses, they could say, well, you never got to the point of saying, now, bang, this is the point from here on out, you are man and wife. You're you're right. In a practical sense, they could just say, okay. Yeah. Here we go. Sign it. Yep. It's good. It's done. But Yeah. Technically speaking, if somebody if any 1 of those 3 wants to say, no.

Sara: 2:38:09

Fair enough.

Eric: 2:38:09

It ain't.

Sara: 2:38:10

He goes to say, now pronounce you, then, boss, we've got big trouble. Mildred is at the door.

Eric: 2:38:18

Mildred, get this weight. She

Sara: 2:38:21

says they've got Alessandra, and then seeing the full picture in front of her, she asks where miss Holt is, and a rage cry is heard from behind the door as Laura hulks out and pulls the door open.

Eric: 2:38:31

Her grips at the shreds.

Sara: 2:38:33

Yeah. Like, like I said, she hulks at like she the Incredible Hulk. Steele tells Laura she's just in time and she asks what? Mildred grabs Steele's arm and says that Alessandra's been shanghaied. She grabs Laura's too and they run out the door followed by Clarissa and her friends who are throwing rice at the not so happy couple. Steele promises to be back as they push him into the car and Clarissa tells her friends, not now. The limo then peels out of the parking lot with the just married sign on the back. And again, no Fred to be seen. Laura's driving. So weird. We've got the limo done up with crepe paper streamers and strings of tin cans and a just married sign. Laura gets in the driver's seat as Mildred and Remington get in the back. Clarissa and her friends, sorry. I'm trying to find the description of her driving. As a furious Laura drives recklessly, Remington and Mildred in the back. Laura floors it and passes a car, ducking back into her lane shortly before oncoming traffic passes by, then she yells, out of the road, bozo. This is her her exuberant driving that

Eric: 2:39:32

Yes. She's gonna teach that road a lesson.

Sara: 2:39:34

Yeah. Exactly. And Steele asked Laura to slow down a tad, and Laura replies, she knows how to drive. She is an excellent driver. No. But I don't think anyone's willing to challenge her at this point. So

Eric: 2:39:47

No. You you yeah. No. I think most

Sara: 2:39:50

of the time, she is. But when she's pissed off like this, it's better to just sit back and hold on to something. Yes.

Eric: 2:39:57

I'll wait for the ride Yeah. To get

Sara: 2:39:59

She tells Mildred to continue, but Mildred, however, wants to know more about the wedding. Steele says it's a Byzantine tale and Laura cuts him off saying it's 1 they can chat about when the case is over asking Mildred, what happened at Unidec? Mildred tells him that after she ditched Burnett's body, she went back to the office, but Alessandra was gone. Frustrated, Laura says she thinks she knows who has her. And then we get an office, and Lyle is basically interrogating poor Alessandra. Mhmm. She looks terrified. And she's saying, I don't know anything about Project Omega. Payroll supervisor insists that she's lying. She says she doesn't know anything at Unitec, and I love this. I'm just a flunky. Understand? A cog, a cipher. Have you read Kafka? Has anybody read Kafka? I don't think so. So yeah. And then as we see this, we see the limo racing up to the UNINEC building, the 3 of them getting out. And then as they do that, security officers start to chase them, cut back to the office. Lyle is still grilling Alessandra demanding to know where Burnett's body is. The I I think it was the is it the building coordinator or the building facilitator? The other guy? Trying to remember which 1 he is. Let me see here. It'll say in the script. I'm sure. It doesn't. Okay. Cool. Yeah. The other guy who's standing there Mhmm. Whoever he is. I'm trying to find where I am now. Yeah. I'm I'm lost. She insists they know. Anyway, he yeah. So the payroll supervisor asked where sorry. No. It's the guy. He asked where Remington Steele is. There we go. She insists that she doesn't know to both those questions. And eventually Lyle says he believes her. This is not good. He straightens up. He pulls out a gun and begins to affix that you're you're you're you're gonna love this. The silencer that isn't really a silencer. Yes. I put that in my notes saying in which case there's no need for further discussion. Yeah. If you have nothing to offer, then you're pretty much no longer needed.

Eric: 2:42:02

Yeah.

Sara: 2:42:03

That's that's not good. So then we cut back to Remington Laura and Mildred. They're running. They're pursued by the guards. And then suddenly, there's more guards in front of them and they basically find this electric cart passing by and Steele bumps the guy off and jumps into the driver's seat and says, why walk when you can ride? And I have to say, I doubt that the those carts could go faster. I could go faster than those carts.

Eric: 2:42:28

Well, and and again, this is a callback to, license to Steele.

Sara: 2:42:33

Yes. True. Actually, yeah. That's a good point. I didn't even think of that. But, yeah, they're coming full circle here. But we see, according to the script, it says Laura and Mildred hop on and Remington floors it down the corridor, forcing the 2 oncoming guards and the other employees to leap out of the way as Remington zigzags onwards. As Remington zips around a corner, Laura checks in unfolded map, which gets in Remington's way. This is quite funny. This map in his face is is pretty hilarious. And you're right. It does call back to the 1st episode. It also and I mean, this was made later, but Tomorrow Never Dies, there's a very similar scene where Bond is on a motorcycle and he's handcuffed to Michelle Yeoh's character and they're kind of like, trying to navigate. He Mhmm. She tries to like, move in front of him and and switch over, but then she gets in his way and he can't see. So, yeah. So she's checking the map and suddenly he looks up spots an office door marked security while Andrew is director and forces the steering wheel that way. The cart burst through the door and as the conspirators scatter to avoid our trio on the cart, in the collision, Andrews loses his gun. Red Steele picks it up, and panicked, he takes advantage of the confusion to run out the door. The 2 security guards arrive, and he points out their remaining conspirators and says, we're from Blue Division, projects Zeta Beta Tau, red flag, green clearance, yellow zone, arrest these people. Yes. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

Eric: 2:43:55

Oh, and can I can I can I just say, Alessandra, nice sweater?

Sara: 2:44:01

Yes. Yes, it is a nice sweater. This is a this is a good episode for you. You got the glasses, you got the wedding dress, you got the sweater. Meanwhile, poor Laura has an outfit that is degrading as as the episode progresses.

Eric: 2:44:14

That's right.

Sara: 2:44:15

That's not good. As the cops do, he says there's something reassuring about bureaucracy. Laura says, let's get Andrews. They go after him. Outside, we see Lyle making a run for it across the grounds as Laura catches up. And the script, it basically says that Laura and Remington emerge a beat later, run after him. A determined Laura passes Remington, who, not seeing the point in hurrying, since he has Andrew's gun, lets Laura get to Andrew's 1st. Laura catches up with Andrew's, brings him down with a flying tackle. Together, they go rolling in a shallow pool of filthy water. I would say that's mud. That's Yes. That's a giant mud puddle. Gosh. And he it says, Laura notices Remington just standing by, taking pains not to get his immaculate tux soiled from all the splashing. And this scene, I think, is 1 of the scenes that makes people the angriest because and this is what my notes say. Okay? As if she leaps on him, the 2 of them land in a huge mud puddle. He tries to grab Laura, and they roll around each trying to get the upper hand. Steele arrives, and like the biggest douche canoe on the planet, would rather stand back and watch Laura get physically attacked than get his suit dirty. Like, that's that is crappy. That is a crappy thing to do. This man is trying literally trying to kill her, and he's just watching. Yeah. I can't even, like this is the guy like, that through that that in in Red Holt Steele, right? Went out after Veckered and shoved him against the tree or whatever it was and threatened his life. Like, this is a guy who any times anybody comes after Laura or tries to hurt Laura, he's there. Mhmm. And now, it's he's comedically watching as she's try like, as this guy's trying to drown her and strangle her. He has his hands around her throat at 1 point. Mhmm. How is this funny? Like, she he rolls on top of her and literally begins to strangle her. He sits there and he's laughing. And and I in my notes, said having presumably been taken over by aliens. She pleads with him to jump in at any time and he grins and says she's doing just fine as he attempts to drown her. And eventually, as he's got her face pressed into the the water, he gets annoyed that he has to intervene. And he picks up a large piece of wood in the script. Says the butt of his gun, but he hits Lyle, knocks him out, and then grins. Teamwork, Laura, like the viewer, think is not impressed.

Eric: 2:46:42

I may have an explanation for this. I'm not saying that it excuses it in the context of the story, in the context of the characters. I'm just saying that I I think I might have an idea where the inspiration for the whole scene came from, and this is a reference to my earlier introductory line. This is very much reminds me of a scene from Support Your Local Sheriff with James Garner and Joan Hackett because she is in the middle of a mud puddle fighting with some guys. Garner's character is standing off to the side, nice suit. He's got a a a tin plate of food and he's just standing there eating it and watching. And at 1.1 of the combatants is thrown up onto the boardwalk next to him and he reaches over and grabs a 2 by 4 and hands it to the man to take back in and and use in the fight. It it it doesn't parallel the the scene that we have in our in in this episode very closely in terms of the the sequence of events and and such as that. But the overall feel of it reminds me always every time I see it reminds me of that scene from Support Your Local Sheriff. And I I have to wonder if that was not where somebody I love this scene. Let's work it in here.

Sara: 2:48:11

Yeah. I mean, it

Eric: 2:48:13

I'm I admit that it's it makes Steele look kind of

Sara: 2:48:18

Makes him look awful.

Eric: 2:48:19

Yeah. It it's it's not a

Sara: 2:48:22

Like, it just makes

Eric: 2:48:23

him look impressive look for him because, yeah, he he he should be getting in there helping her.

Sara: 2:48:27

But Yeah.

Eric: 2:48:29

I I think that's kinda where this this the whole idea for the scene came from.

Sara: 2:48:34

Well, I mean, I'm gonna make a Buffy reference because that's what I do. And this is, there was a similar scene in Buffy, only only the context, obviously, in Buffy is gonna be a bit different. Right? Because Mhmm. Buffy is a slayer, and this kind of fighting thing is her job. There's a scene in Buffy where she's fighting a bad guy, and Angel shows up to help her. And he basically, like, she's she's engaged in this really fierce battle. He offers to help her and she kinda says, this is something I have to do on my own. And he's like, yeah. Okay. And he lets her go and fight him. He stands back to watch. And he kinda folds his arms over his chest and says, I never get tired of watching this. And it's on his part, it's more about his confidence in her as a fighter. The fact that she has said, like, I need to do this on my own. He's there for backup if she needs it, but and he's proud of how strong and resilient she is. That's not this. This is this is not that. Laura is asking him to help her and he just ignores her until he realizes, oh, crap. She's gonna die. I better do something. Ugh. It's gross. It is just gross.

Eric: 2:49:46

So I mean, you you could argue that he thought that she was doing fine and she she could bring it to a conclusion on her own, but then he realized that she couldn't. But, yeah, it's just he he he as soon as she hit the the mud puddle with the guy

Sara: 2:50:03

Yeah. That's where he should've

Eric: 2:50:05

run up. Stepped in right away.

Sara: 2:50:07

Yeah. There's no excuse. So we've got the next scene. Again, they're in the president's Office and it says, reveals Remington and Laura standing opposite him across the desk where Drury sits. Laura is a mess from her mud bath. Remington remains immaculate. So that's the script direction there. He says, he's amazed by the whole story. And Laura tells him that as far as they can piece together, there is no Project Omega. Steele adds that there's a phony room, phony employees. It's all part of a phantom division within Unidec. Laura adds that it was all created by a few key personnel who knew how to manipulate the bureaucracy. Drury angler angrily says that he knew his company had gotten a little top heavy in recent years, but he never dreamed somebody could pull off something like this. Stunned, he asks, Omega is a total fake?

Eric: 2:50:54

Now right here. Right here. That that that. I every time it's it's like, okay. He knew it. I have not He was in on it.

Sara: 2:51:06

Also my thought because I was like, how no. You can't It

Eric: 2:51:12

just it's not just the the denial of knowledge. It's the way he puts it.

Sara: 2:51:19

Yeah.

Eric: 2:51:19

Oh, my company's gotten top heavy. I would have never have dreamed.

Sara: 2:51:25

Yeah. It does

Eric: 2:51:25

somehow it. He's he's

Sara: 2:51:28

And I

Eric: 2:51:28

he's gonna he's gonna let Andrews and company be, run over by the bus and Yeah. If if he has to, he'll get in and drive it himself. But, yeah, he's

Sara: 2:51:38

I think that if there had been more time in the episode, that would have been a reveal as well, but they obviously didn't have that kind of time. So Yeah. Yeah. Laura says everything more important things. Yeah. Everything except the money. And Steele tells him that Omega was budgeted at half at 20 half 25. That's not right.$25,000,000, and half of that was from a government grant. There. I just wrote that wrong. Laura tells him that that was what the late mister Burnett stumbled onto. Millions paid to people on projects he couldn't verify. Steele jokes that the poor sod violated the 1st rule of corporate existence. Drury asks what that is, and Steele smiles and says, cover your behind and don't ask questions.

Eric: 2:52:14

That's right.

Sara: 2:52:15

It's true. He grabs Laura's hand and says, if Drury doesn't mind, they have a wedding to attend. Drury asks if she would care to freshen up, and it looks like Laura wants to take him up on the offer, but he pulls her out saying he has handy wipes in the car.

Eric: 2:52:28

Yeah. The fat lot of good dad will

Sara: 2:52:30

do. Right. I know. It just this whole this whole thing, I just so then we get the car. Laura demands in the limo to know why he's running around in that monkey suit to marry a hooker. Steele tells her when she says it like that, it all sounds rather distasteful. Is a wonderful girl. Why did

Eric: 2:52:52

you commit murder? Well, I I hate that word. Can can you use something? Why did you commit blackmail? I hate that word. Can we can we call it something else?

Sara: 2:53:00

Yeah. He says Clarissa is a wonderful girl, and Laura curtly says she didn't know the 2 of them were dating. Uncomfortable, Steele says it's a bit complicated, and Laura tells him, Start at the beginning and work your way up to the altar. Steele says that consulting contract she arranged with Vigilance Insurance, she asks, What about it? He says, It didn't sit too well with our good friend Norman Keyes. He says it seems he took offense on having to report to him on important cases. Impatiently, Laura says she doesn't hear any wedding bells yet, and Steele says that while being a petulant prig, he informed immigration that he was in the country illegally. And again, my God. I don't know how, like, I don't know how many times I can say, does he want to die? But he starts to say, now, I know you were only trying to help when you gave me that passport. But really? We're gonna We're

Eric: 2:53:47

we're You're blame me?

Sara: 2:53:49

We're gonna shift the blame to Lord. We're Yeah. We're gonna do that now. Okay. Yeah. Wow. That is the that is that's some top level gaslighting with a side of douchebaggery. I'm sorry, but it is just not like so, yeah, she she he doesn't get very far. Incredulous, she asks, are you implying this is somehow my fault? He tells her, no, don't punish yourself. He bears no grudge. And again, I know this is meant to be funny, but this is obviously, like, he has to know that this conversation was never gonna go well. Mhmm. And rather than be upfront and honest about it and say, listen, I was panicked. I didn't know what to do. And I did this. He's trying to deflect it back on her Mhmm. To avoid. I don't know what he thinks he's trying to avoid, but he's not avoiding it. He's just making it worse.

Eric: 2:54:51

Well, he's he's trying to deflect Laura's anger back onto herself Yeah.

Sara: 2:54:58

By

Eric: 2:54:58

Which is crazy. By trying to, you said, gaslighter, present it as if, well, I wouldn't have had to do this if you hadn't done this. So Yeah. Really, you can't be mad at me for just simply dealing with the situation that you created. Yeah. That's that's the approach here. It's it's the wrong approach.

Sara: 2:55:18

So this is this is what we would call DARVO. This is an an acronym that stands for No. Denial of No, it's an actual psychiatry term, DARVO. It's an acronym that stands for deny attack and reverse victim and offender. It is a common manipulation and blame shifting tactic used by perpetrators, such as, it says abusers are toxic individuals, but anything when confronted with their wrongful behavior. The strategy unfolds in 3 steps. Deny. The offender denies the wrongdoing or abuse ever happened. Attack. The offender attacks the credibility, character, or sanity of the person confronting them. In reverse victim and offender, the offender twists the narrative so that they become the victim while painting the original victim as the aggressor. Darvo. So Like, he's basically

Eric: 2:56:04

So, turning like, this if you go to a concert, a Coldplay concert, and you get caught on the

Sara: 2:56:09

kisses Yes. Exactly. You you

Eric: 2:56:10

blame For some sake. Coldplay.

Sara: 2:56:14

I mean, the 1st mistake was going to a Coldplay concert, but other than, you know, the 2nd thing sorry. I'm not a Coldplay fan. I apologize if they're out there, but yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like, this is this is classic Darvo, and he's basically trying to turn this around on her. And she's not buying it. She reminds him that he was stranded in London, a man without a country, and that passport got him back into the country and calls him a lousy and great. Now, here's the thing. Obviously, that passport was illegal. She and Mildred got it for him to get him back into the country, and he wasn't complaining about it then. I'm not saying that parts of this parts of what has happened. She didn't contribute to because she did. Mhmm. But his marrying Clarissa and lying to her about the situation. That's all on him. That is 1000% on him. Mhmm. Situation with immigration. Cool. You could put some you could put some faults on, you know, the passport, their actions, whatever, but his behavior, his reaction to the situation. Ugh. He then tells her, it's fairly sweet of her to apologize, but there's no need.

Eric: 2:57:21

You know, it's it's you may not be to blame for the situation, but you are responsible or you you may not be responsible for the situation, but you are responsible for how you respond to it.

Sara: 2:57:34

Yes. Exactly.

Eric: 2:57:35

That's that's where he's that's where he's blown it.

Sara: 2:57:39

Yeah. Yeah. 100%. He tells her, like I said, sweetie for her to apologize. No need. The important thing is to get him to the church. She's had enough. She demands he stop the car and let her out. He says he's on a rather tight schedule. The best he can do is slow down. So she reaches out and takes the keys out of the ignition. He protests as the car slows to a stop.

Eric: 2:57:55

No. No. No. I don't think I don't think because that would lock the steering. I I don't think she would do that, not if she was smart and certainly or the other thing is you couldn't take them out if the car's in drive. I I don't believe you can't it couldn't because you couldn't get it to the park position on the ignition switch. There's there's park, then there's accessory, and then there's on drive. And you can get it to the accessory, but you couldn't get it into the park position. So, yeah, you couldn't pull the keys out. You could turn the engine off, but you couldn't pull the keys out because that would it's got mechanisms to prevent you from doing that while it's in gear.

Sara: 2:58:40

Yeah.

Eric: 2:58:41

And if you could, it would just lock up the steering and it's just, no. Uh-uh. Nope.

Sara: 2:58:47

We're just we're just gonna waive this. Yeah. So Okay. She grabs the keys. She storms away. He frantically scrambles after her and tells her that you don't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation.

If I'm not married to an American citizen by 06: 2:58:59

00 this evening, I'll be thrown out of the country. And she is still incredulous that he even intends to go through with it. Says, you're just gonna waltz down the aisle with a happy hooker? And Laura says he says, Laura, this is no time to be jealous. And she says, I'm not jealous. I'm angry. Can't you tell the difference? I don't know if those 2 are mutually exclusive. I think there's maybe some of both of that in there. I I think

Eric: 2:59:23

Yeah.

Sara: 2:59:23

She realizes that he's not really interested in Clarissa. I don't think that she honestly thinks that he is in love with Clarissa now that she knows the the extent of the situation. But I do think that the jealousy is probably that he didn't come to her, that he went to someone else.

Eric: 2:59:39

Well, it's I'd say it's less jealousy than anger. Much more anger than jealousy because

Sara: 2:59:45

For sure.

Eric: 2:59:46

Because, 1st of all, he didn't come to her. Didn't trust her with the information. She's going to have to deal with the ramifications of this

Sara: 2:59:55

Yeah.

Eric: 2:59:55

In so many ways.

Sara: 2:59:57

Yeah. For sure.

Eric: 2:59:58

That seriously is going to impact the the the agency. So

Sara: 3:00:04

Yeah. It's just it it's all like, he he says, why are you angry? I'm the 1 who's gonna be deported. And then she says, for some cockeyed reason, I expected less from you. And he's confused by this. Less what? Less trickery. Less deceit. Less of everything that makes me doubt your feelings for me. And I agree because all of what we've seen from season 4 is the 2 of them having important conversations and getting closer to 1 another and and him being honest about his feelings and the 2 of them like having actual talks that they should have been having all this time. And so she's finally begun to let her guard down and expect that when something major like this happens, he's just gonna be honest about it. And he should have been honest about it. He should have come to her and said, hey, this is happening. I need you to help me.

Eric: 3:00:48

Mhmm. However, as an explanation, not as a defense, when people get into stressful situations, situations where they, let's say, panic because their future is in doubt, whether it be completely in doubt as in you're going to die or in doubt from the standpoint of your entire life is going to be destroyed and you're gonna be left, you know, trying to pick up the pieces, people revert. They revert to what they have done in the past or behavior from the past that that you may have changed in a lot of ways, but that's still there, that was still was still your go to behavior, and that is what you're going to, in most cases, do, is revert back to that behavior because it's worked for you in the past, you're not necessarily sure, you know, what what the new paradigm is going to do for you. You don't know if it's gonna resolve the situation or just make it worse, but you know that this worked for you in the past, and so that's how you're that that's how you behave.

Sara: 3:02:00

Yeah. I I think too, partly might have to do with his own past where he's never had anybody that he could rely on when things get dicey. He's always had to figure it out himself. And so in his mind but again

Eric: 3:02:16

But again, this is this is him reverting to his

Sara: 3:02:18

Yeah.

Eric: 3:02:19

His prior behavior that that has always been his instinctive reaction and those instincts, even though he's working on them, those instincts come back in this type of situation because that's that's the kind of triggers. Just like somebody who's dealing with alcoholism and they're making progress, but something happens and it kicks them right back into that. Yeah. You know, that's that's that's the the trigger that kicks them back into their past behavior.

Sara: 3:02:48

The problem with this past behavior though is that this is literally what has, a, kept them apart for 4 years and, b, is going to, as you said, it's gonna impact her too. It's not just him. It's if they find out that she was the 1 who got the phony passport, that that she could end up in jail. Like, that's fraud on a big level. So it's

Eric: 3:03:09

But like I said, I I wasn't ex that wasn't No. I wasn't offending too behavior. I was just explaining it.

Sara: 3:03:15

Yeah. No. I I had for for sure. And then she and then she he says, would you have married me? And she says, of course not. And then he says, I wouldn't have asked.

Eric: 3:03:23

Okay. Why not? I mean, that was too too quick a response from her.

Sara: 3:03:32

Think it's

Eric: 3:03:32

understand she's angry and so that might have been her her anger response of well, you know, from the standpoint of, no, of course, I wouldn't marry you now that I know what's happened. But I think it just her her well, of course not. That's just

Sara: 3:03:51

I think she means I think it was more her response was more about, I wouldn't have married you just to solve your immigration problem. I don't think she's saying she wouldn't have married him. I think she's saying that she didn't she wouldn't want to be marrying him just to keep him in the country. Like, she would want him to ask her just to ask her. And this is where he's kind of at between a rock and a hard place. And I and I sort of have I don't want to say some sympathy, some understanding of what he's why he did this because he had to have known that if he came to her with his problem and said, I want to marry you and he meant it. She would never believe or trust that he was actually asking to marry her because he genuinely wanted to marry her. She would always, in the back of her mind, wonder, well, would he have done this if it weren't for immigration forcing his hand? Like, is this is this real or is this

Eric: 3:04:38

But but she that's not but that wasn't her answer, though. Her answer was, no. Of course not. I would not marry you if you had asked me. And granted, his question was not the way it was worded was not specific to this situation.

Sara: 3:05:01

No. The context of early response would be.

Eric: 3:05:04

But there's there's a disconnect between the context of what he's asking and the context of what she's answering, though, is is the thing. And

Sara: 3:05:13

I think they're both on the same page there.

Eric: 3:05:15

Well, I I think there's a little bit of a a a mismatch there. But I think the problem is that her answer was, of course not, I would not have married you. Not, I wouldn't have married you for that reason.

Sara: 3:05:30

Well, unless Or or

Eric: 3:05:32

something to to focus her answer on being, I wouldn't do this to help you evade the legal issues. But, you know, if if you you if you were serious and circumstances were different, I might marry you. I might have married you. But in the meantime, we could have worked this out some other way.

Sara: 3:05:55

Well, this is This is She

Eric: 3:05:56

didn't it was just No. Would you have married me? No. Absolutely not. Bang.

Sara: 3:06:01

But this is what happens

Eric: 3:06:02

when option is over forever.

Sara: 3:06:04

This is what happens, though, when you're arguing with someone is that you say something and and your meaning doesn't always translate the way you mean it to. And I think as viewers, we are meant to assume that that's what she meant, but I I and his response is responding to what you just said where he's not sure if she just means she would never marry him or she wouldn't marry him under these particular circumstances. So he responds with hurt when he says, I wouldn't have asked. And that's, you know, then he kind of like, she says, I knew if we worked at it hard enough, we'd find something to agree on. Then he says, I couldn't ask you to be part of a ploy, a sham, an arrangement. And He I agree that that probably crossed his mind that that was probably 1 of the reasons why he didn't come to her and say, hey, I need to we need to do this because he he again, he would know that she would not seriously believe that he wanted to like, there'd always be doubt about why they were married, why they were together. She responds by saying, so he shopped around and got the best deal in town and bought Clarissa. He says, rented, actually. In fact, I'm paying by the hour. So if you don't mind, I really do need those car keys. He he makes a lunch for her as the limo phone rings. And this is also the point where I'm like, he can't can he not see that this is not going to work now. Laura knows about it. I don't know. I just he's gotta see that this option is slipping away. He's he's claiming

Eric: 3:07:30

to it. Is that that there's there's a term for what I'm thinking of. And it's it's commonly used in business where people will say, we've invested so much money in this project.

Sara: 3:07:45

Sunk cost fallacy.

Eric: 3:07:48

Yeah. We've we've invested so much, we can't stop investing in it now. Well It's Yeah. It's not gonna succeed. Yeah. But if we we've gotta see it through. Well, we know where it's gonna go. We know where it's gonna end. It's gonna fail, but we've got to. And and that's what he's doing here. He's he's this is his only plan. Yeah. He's already invested all his time, money, effort, and, dare I say, planning into it. And, yeah, it's falling apart at his feet. Yeah. But it's his only plan, and he's gotta try and follow it through.

Sara: 3:08:22

And and then the phone rings. Right? They go back to the limo. The phone rings. They freeze. Then he picks it up. And Clarissa, on the other end, she tells him she's sorry. Seal tells her, don't be. I'm on my way. She asked him to contact the minister because she's only allowed 1 phone call. Steele doesn't like the sound of that, and he says that has a very ominous ring to it. He asked where she is, and the camera pans back, and we see she is in a jail cell along with all of her cohorts. She tells him that Keith had her busted for soliciting, and Steele groans, and he says, if death can take a holiday, why can't you? And innocently, she says, all she did was give him her business card. Ew. No. Clarissa, you can say no to some clients. You can do better. Okay? Like, that's you don't have no. No. You're not that desperate. You can't be. No.

Eric: 3:09:23

Yeah. She then says

Sara: 3:09:25

I I

Eric: 3:09:25

just that that scene of her in the jail cell, wearing the wedding dress in the jail cell, it's just

Sara: 3:09:33

I'm glad somebody's finding some enjoyment from this. Sadly, she says she has to go as it's time for her strip search.

Eric: 3:09:43

I'm I'm I'm sorry. They they would not. That's got that's gotta be optional.

Sara: 3:09:49

Yeah. And

Eric: 3:09:52

she's opted into that.

Sara: 3:09:55

Yeah. For sure. She hangs up and Steele groans again, telling a very satisfied looking Laura that Clarissa's in the clink. She asks, what now? And he says, well, once I'm settled somewhere, will you come and visit me? With all these excursion fairs these days, you can travel anywhere for about $99 and she's, that's it? You're just giving up? And he says, putting aside the lack of a bride, there are certain legal niceties that marriage cannot be overcome in 1 hour and 10 minutes. About marriage. Sorry. Indignant, she tells him that he's the Duke of deception. Think of something. So, and this is where the I will criticize Laura a bit. Okay? Help him. Problem solve it.

Eric: 3:10:32

Don't I know you're mad. Here's the problem, though. She wouldn't have married him a minute and a half ago because it was deceptive, it was fraudulent, but now well, you're the duke of deception. Let's solve something with deception and fraud. And what are we gonna do? Oh, we're going to get married for deception and fraud purposes. Well, she Hello?

Sara: 3:11:01

She wouldn't legally marry him.

Eric: 3:11:04

We're She thinks she is.

Sara: 3:11:06

No. No. She she's she, when they're on the boat, she says we've got a phony marriage license, phony blood test. Like,

Eric: 3:11:14

this is Yeah. But she knows that the documentation is phony. But as far as everything else is concerned, it appears to be a a legitimate wedding. But even if it's not, she's doing exactly what she just got done saying she would not do.

Sara: 3:11:31

Well, she wouldn't marry him for real. She's not marrying him for real. She's faking this. They're they're faking this marriage. This is like

Eric: 3:11:37

her point her point of contention was she would not engage in a fraud. Let's let's go back to to Remington's words. Here. Let's see. How could I have asked you to be part of a ploy, a scam, an arrangement? So you shopped so she acknowledges that it was a ploy, a scam, and an arrangement, and she wouldn't have married him to participate in a ploy or a scam or an arrangement. But now, a minute and a half later, she will participate in a ploy and a scam and an arrangement. Difference marriage. Though

Sara: 3:12:17

The difference though is the legality of the marriage. She

Eric: 3:12:23

If it's a marriage of convenience to satisfy immigration, it's still it's it's it's no more valid than

Sara: 3:12:31

But on a

Eric: 3:12:32

fake marriage. From

Sara: 3:12:33

a personal level, though. Like, she's they're both trying to make this relationship work and to be asked to marry him only to satisfy immigration to enter into a legal union with him only to satisfy that was that's hurtful on a personal level. She will play pretend and not legally marry him on a professional level.

Eric: 3:13:00

Why couldn't she have done that before?

Sara: 3:13:02

Because Why

Eric: 3:13:03

why didn't she say that? If if you had come to me, we could've done a phony thing and nobody would've known any different. And mean, she it's

Sara: 3:13:12

I mean, they didn't really have the the time in that argument. The phone rang. They got distracted by Clarissa. But either way, I can see the distinction for her being asked to marry him simply to satisfy I

Eric: 3:13:26

think it's a false distinction. I think she is just trying to say, well, yeah, I'll go along with it now after I just got done telling you I wouldn't because somehow, I'm going to create the justification in my mind that this is somehow different. It was a scam before, it's a if it's a scam now and it was a scam before, what difference does it make?

Sara: 3:13:47

Because the the reasoning a behind like, if he had come to her and said, listen, I need you to marry me. Immigration's coming after me. We need to get married. And he actually meant get married. That would be hurtful to her. The idea that he would only wanna marry and actually commit to her in a permanent way to get out of being caught by immigration. If he had come to her and said, listen, immigration's about to catch me. I need to be married to an American citizen. Can you help me fake this? I think she would have agreed.

Eric: 3:14:17

Well, but she thinks she knows the marriage license is phony. She knows the blood test results are phony, but she thinks that the captain is actually gonna marry them. No. She's going along with it believing that this captain No.

Sara: 3:14:30

She she asked he says she says, doesn't the captain have a legal authority? And he says, yes. And then she says, then what are we doing here? And he points out that Juan is not the captain. That's the lee that's the workaround. She acquiesces to it.

Eric: 3:14:44

He tells her that Juan is not the captain, she thinks that it's really the captain who's going to be marrying them. And she's gone along with it up to this point No.

Sara: 3:14:54

I know that she just didn't think of that up until that point. Like, she's not actually marrying him. She doesn't actually intend to marry him. She almost acts out when she thinks that he's really the captain.

Eric: 3:15:05

I think it's a distinction that doesn't amount to a hill of beans. For Fine.

Sara: 3:15:11

For her, it would. I think it really would for her, given all of her issues with with commitment and and him and whether or not he actually cares to be asked only for the purposes of immigration, that's that's something I can't that would be a bridge too far, but I could see her faking it to keep him in the country. And then

Eric: 3:15:31

If if if he had presented it to her beforehand, she could have said, well, fine. Let's fake it.

Sara: 3:15:38

Yeah. If he if he had but he didn't. He went off to try to marry Clarissa. He he he did everything but talk to her.

Eric: 3:15:46

But he he he he said that he knew it would be a fake and a scam.

Sara: 3:15:53

Well, that's he's he's making an assumption. He's making an assumption about her reaction. He's he's he says, how could I expect you to be a part of a fraud, a scam, an arrangement? He's not actually saying, if I had come to you and asked you if you had would be a part of this as a fraud, scam, or an arrangement, would you have done it? He's trying to like, put that back on her and saying, if if I had come to you and and you wouldn't have gone done it. She's at no point does she actually say that. She just kinda says, so you went and found a hooker instead? Like, that was your solution?

Eric: 3:16:23

She she accepts the she accepts the argument as presented. I don't think challenge the argument as presented. She accepts it and then builds on it.

Sara: 3:16:33

I think she's more focused on, like, pointing out how how his decisions were were poor decisions, and they were poor decisions. They were stupid. I mean, we don't know what would have happened if he had come to her and actually told her what was going on. But I I can assume that had he presented the plant. She's done crazier things to get out of stuff. She invented at an an imaginary boss, But he didn't the fact that he didn't trust her enough with his problem to help solve it. However, they solved it is enough to kind of cancel out any, like, any goodwill at this point. She's there's there's, you know, she's pretty much done.

Eric: 3:17:19

Except that what happens later on? 1 is giving them the the spiel in Spanish. They I do. I do. They kiss. And she asks, how are we supposed to keep up this scam for 2 years? And he says, by being the happiest married couple in America. And she says, but we're not really married.

Sara: 3:17:38

Yes.

Eric: 3:17:38

Conniving con man. Not true. So she's angry that it's a con. And she No. She's that she pulled her into a con.

Sara: 3:17:47

She yeah. She's angry. She's not angry because they're not really married. She's angry that she's now having to to add to her, you know, her fake life by putting this added complication on top of what already they're hiding. Like, this is a house

Eric: 3:18:01

But her attitude here is as if I didn't know that we we were gonna have to to fake being married. Well, she I

Sara: 3:18:10

think she's her her

Eric: 3:18:13

she according to you, her argument is that she didn't want to participate in a real marriage that was done under false pretenses, but now here she's saying that she didn't realize that she was going to have to fake a marriage.

Sara: 3:18:26

Well, I don't think she realized

Eric: 3:18:27

she's gonna fake

Sara: 3:18:28

it for I don't think she realized she was gonna have to fake it for 2 years. A lot of people don't know what goes like, what the parameters are when it comes to getting a spouse. Like I I sponsored my spouse into the country. Most people don't realize that in Canada at least when you sponsor a spouse into the country, you are legally and financially responsible for that person for the 1st 5 years, believe it is. And even if they even if you get a divorce in that time, you're still financially responsible for them. If he didn't have a job, I would have to pay his bills. You're not able to apply for any social services. If I had lost my job, I couldn't have applied for employment insurance. There's a lot of stuff that they don't tell you about what that means, and I don't think Laura really understood the extent of how they were gonna have to pretend in order

Eric: 3:19:14

to She is a detective, and She's I would have

Sara: 3:19:18

She's been attacked. She's been through a wind tunnel. She's pissed off, and she's had 0 time to think about anything beyond what happens next.

Eric: 3:19:27

There's no way she's gonna know what I think she would should have had the knowledge of what what would have been involved in this because as a detective, she's dealing with legal issues all the time. And you can't tell me that they have never had a case that didn't get her into the proximity of this information where she would have had it available to her knowledge at this point. I think her rational

Sara: 3:19:53

brain I think her rational brain has taken a holiday at this point. She's too

Eric: 3:19:58

Oh, I there's too much going I agree with you on that, but not for the same There's

Sara: 3:20:03

too much going on. I don't think that that would have even crossed her mind. She she's just trying to figure out how they're gonna get from 1 moment to the next and get around keys and around Becker and figure out what's happening. Like, I don't think she was thinking about what's gonna happen in, you know, after after this fake marriage. Being said, we go into the next scene and

Eric: 3:20:27

Eventually get to the next scene. Yeah.

Sara: 3:20:29

We've got her staring directly into the camera speaking, you know, I've loved him from the moment I met him. He's I has all the qualities I admire in a man. This must have really she must have choked on this at this point. Honesty, integrity, compassion. Sometimes he seems too good to be real. It's almost as though I invented him. I'd be the happiest woman in the world if I could spend the rest of my life by his side. And then we pull back and we see Estelle Becker, and she's almost in tears. And I again, lady, come on. Even if you even if she was willing to kind of look the other way with Clarissa. Now, he's got another woman that he's gonna marry that same day. And and you're buying it? You're buying it.

Eric: 3:21:14

Well

Sara: 3:21:16

Okay. But I'm not

Eric: 3:21:18

gonna say that she's the smartest tool in the shed. Okay? And just leave it at that.

Sara: 3:21:22

Right? She calls it the most beautiful expression of love she's ever heard, and Laura says it comes straight from the heart, Ms. Becker. She says, I want to believe that. I want this all to work out. And then suddenly, she kind of, like, stiffens, then the camera pulls back, and there's a fish writhing on her lap. Steele comes up, plucks the fish from her lap, and tosses it onto another pile of fish. And we see that they are on a fishing trawler, which is yeah. It's tied to the dock. They're seated on a pair of wooden crates. Well, Steele and Mildred stand at the stern. Juan, a young Mexican t shirt and captain's hat is at the wheel. Sound of the car drove draws them all to the dock as the car screeches to a halt. We see Norman Keyes jump out and Steele says, time to cast off. And from what the script says from Juan's bland expression and unmoving countenance, clear he doesn't understand what Steele is saying. Vamos, amigo. This gets Juan into action as Remington casts off the last line and the trawler heads out to sea just as Keyes reaches the edge of the dock. And he, of course, yells, you can't get away with this. It stinks just like those fish. The trawler heads out for open water at a good clip. Key's voice rising above the whine of the engine. You can run, but you can't hide. I'll be the last thing you see at night and the 1st thing you see in the morning. For better or for worse, Steele your mine. He looks at Estelle, incurable romantic, hysterical because he can't be my best man. To Laura, shall we dearest? Yes, my darling. She rises at complete shambles, fussing with her hair and says, how do I look? Mildred says, well, they say all brides are beautiful. They link arms and he leads her lockstep towards Juan. Mildred, kinda watching them almost teary eyed herself and he picks up, what I assume is it a Bible or something in Spanish. And then she says, you're sure this marriage isn't remotely legal. And he says, Laura, when I make a bargain, stick to it. And she says, okay. So we have a phony marriage license forged blood test results. But what about the captain? He still has the authority to marry us. Absolutely correct. Then what are we doing here? Juan's not the captain. Who is he? He cleans fish. Very good at it, actually. And Juan begins to read in Spanish. We hear him say Remington and Laura matrimonio. So I'm gonna imagine that's matrimony. And Mhmm. He turns towards them, Mildred and Stella, who are dabbing at their eyes with hankies. And then he says, the do you take Laura? At least I'm assuming that's what he says. He waits until Remington realizes response is called for, and he says, si. Or I start before 1st, he says,

Eric: 3:23:53

I Are you going to take her?

Sara: 3:23:55

Yeah. 1st, he says, do. And then Juan still waits and realizes, oh, wait. Si. And then she asked him, how long do we have to maintain this charade? And Juan starts talking again, and he says, not long. And she realizes that he didn't sound too honest when he said that. How long? Juan's continuing to give his speech in the background and Steele says, 2 years at the outside. 2 years. And then Juan finishes his speech. Again, he waits. Steele kind of nudges her in the ribs. Says, your turn. And she says, si. He then says, some stuff in Spanish, which I am assuming is like, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you blah blah blah. And again, they kind of stand there and eventually he's kissing noises. Steele says, I think this is where we played our truth with a kiss. She asked him, how are we going to keep this up for 2 years? And he says, by being the happiest married couple in America. And as you pointed out, she says, but we're not really married, you conniving con man. And he says, that's exactly what Keys will be trying to prove, my blushing bride. So he kisses her and it's clear, like, she's stiff as a board. She is not returning this kiss. But it apparently convinces Mildred and Estelle because she says, don't you love weddings? And Estelle says, I just hope I can get this 1 to stand up in my report. And Mildred says, what are you talking about? We're past the 3 mile limit. This is legal as hell. And that line has led some fans to wonder whether or not it actually was legal. I don't think it was because if the marriage license is phony, then it wouldn't really matter if Steele like, they've made the argument that because Juan is acting as captain, he still has the authority to marry them. But I don't think that stands up if the marriage license is phony.

Eric: 3:25:42

Well, was he actually acting as the captain?

Sara: 3:25:44

Well, and that's

Eric: 3:25:45

the other 1. There a captain in yeah.

Sara: 3:25:47

Was a captain

Eric: 3:25:48

a in captain on the boat? Because if there's a captain on the boat, then he's not acting as the captain. He's just impersonating the captain. Exactly. Big difference. Big difference.

Sara: 3:25:57

Yeah. And and, again, like, if it's a phony marriage license, there's no official marriage license. Like, I could go and stand in front of a fishy and say I do, but it doesn't necessarily make it a marriage. Right? So

Eric: 3:26:07

Right.

Sara: 3:26:07

I don't think that they actually

Eric: 3:26:09

There is also the danger of common law.

Sara: 3:26:14

True. I I don't know how, like, how much of that existed in the eighties, but

Eric: 3:26:19

Well, I I think it's still valid. Now what I don't know off the top of my head is is the parameters. It may vary by state to state, certainly by country to country. But as long as you live, cohabitate, and present as being married for a certain length of time, then legally, you're married.

Sara: 3:26:39

Oh, no. Actually, according to this, it did not exist in California in 1986. The state officially abolished domestic common law marriage on 01/01/2027 or 1895 and required couples to obtain a marriage license and complete formal solemnization to be legally married. Exceptions to this exceptions to this rule in 1986 included out of state recognition. So I guess if they're out in international waters, then that would count.

Eric: 3:27:05

Well, if the Couples I guess it would depend actually on where they're residing during that period of time. Yeah. If they're residing in California, then, yeah,

Sara: 3:27:14

it wouldn't necessarily

Eric: 3:27:16

be recognized in California. But if they were living in California for a length of time and then they moved to another state, I don't know. So

Sara: 3:27:25

that she says like, he starts he takes out an accordion. I and and like like you said, I I think that you're right that Juan isn't acting as captain. There was probably a captain somewhere else on the boat, and I don't think it's actually legal, but there are some people that think, oh, maybe it was. He takes out an accordion. He starts playing it, singing feelings.

Eric: 3:27:45

Nothing more. So they'll pay for feelings, but not girls just wanna have fun or satisfaction.

Sara: 3:27:52

Know. I know.

Eric: 3:27:54

Or insert the title of any of a half a dozen other songs here.

Sara: 3:27:57

Yep. I agree. I agree. And it's a terrible rendition. It's not even, you know Laura says, this is the worst day of my life. He says, how can you say that, Laura? We haven't even hit the honeymoon yet. That's where we

Eric: 3:28:11

that's where it freezes. That's not real encouraging.

Sara: 3:28:14

Yeah. I know. I know. I'm definitely gonna have some theories on what on some on what was going on in season 5, but okay. Well

Eric: 3:28:27

Finally got through that 1. Yeah.

Sara: 3:28:31

The shark and that's where the shark jumped over the boat. And for anyone who doesn't understand that references, you understand it, right? Jumping with shark reference.

Eric: 3:28:41

Happy days. Yeah.

Sara: 3:28:43

It's it's a reference to the show Happy days where there was a scene where I think it was the Fawns was on water skis and a shark, and he jumped over a shark on the water skis. And it was just so ridiculous that that was sort of deemed the point where the show went downhill. And so it's become a common sort of way of referencing the moment when a TV show or movie franchise kind of loses its steam and begins to decline in quality.

Eric: 3:29:12

Well, or they do something that is so absolutely ridiculous

Sara: 3:29:17

So ridiculous.

Eric: 3:29:18

That they just can't come back from it.

Sara: 3:29:19

You're not able to yeah. So I think this is this is the point where they've figuratively jumped the shark. It's just and and I will have some some theories when we talk about season 5 as to how this could have been done well, which is a tall order, I'm aware. But I think there there could have been some ways where they could have made this less unbearable. But unfortunately, they didn't go that route. So Yeah. That's where that's where we freeze. I don't think I need to ask you what your thoughts are overall on this episode. I think we're both in agreement that it's unfortunate.

Eric: 3:30:01

It it, it had its moments.

Sara: 3:30:04

It's got some funny stuff with Unidec, but it's it's pretty bad when the case is the more interesting part. Like, when that's the saving grace.

Eric: 3:30:15

Yeah. Yeah. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if Steele had married Clarissa.

Sara: 3:30:22

Yeah. I mean, I'm almost thinking that would have been I would hope that they wouldn't drag it out for too long. I would hope that they would find a way around it and annul the marriage or what have you, but I would have liked to have seen a couple of episodes where they they're

Eric: 3:30:37

yeah.

Sara: 3:30:37

Just this this is this is not what we wanted.

Eric: 3:30:41

Yep. So Anyway.

Sara: 3:30:44

Anyway. So on the website, www.steelwatching.com, we've got show notes, links to Amazon US and Amazon Canada. There's also links to the merch if you wanna buy a a shirt. We should have a shirt that said, like, you know, we don't bond sucks or something. I don't know. But there are also social media resources and links such as?

Eric: 3:31:08

Links to follow the podcast for anybody who you want to get interested in it that hasn't been listening up to this point. Links to the official Steele watching Facebook page, Twitter, and Instagram, as well as a link to the Facebook Steele watchers fan group where we all kind of congregate and hang out and do stuff.

Sara: 3:31:32

Where people are going to have feelings about this episode. Nothing more than feelings.

Eric: 3:31:39

Lots and lots of feelings.

Sara: 3:31:41

Yeah. But, I mean, on the bright side, the next episode is gonna be our season 4 top 5 recap, which I know is your

Eric: 3:31:52

Which nobody wants. Mean, we've

Sara: 3:31:55

gotten favorite.

Eric: 3:31:55

We've gotten millions, millions of emails saying, we don't want to hear this episode. We we've even gotten them from other planets.

Sara: 3:32:04

So You, sir. You you lie like a rug. Anyway, we will Aw, I'll see you there for that. Booze in hand. Yeah.

Eric: 3:32:20

Alright. Well, I got nothing else.

Sara: 3:32:23

Nope. Me either.

Eric: 3:32:25

Alright. Bye bye, everybody.

Sara: 3:32:26

Bye bye.