Eric: 0:18

Hey, everybody. This is Steele watching the podcast for Remington Steele fans. I am Eric, and I'm not gonna hog the spotlight if that's what you're worried about.

Sara: 0:28

And I am Sara, and it was raining in Paris in the springtime. It always rains in Paris. Sorry. Sorry. I'm here. I'm here.

Eric: 0:39

Well, Season 5, episode 3, Steele Hanging in There Part 1.

Sara: 0:48

And that title was made for the fans, not the actual characters because we're we're still hanging in there.

Eric: 0:54

Yeah. Hopefully. Well, don't I don't think we have anything to discuss before we get started, do we? I not

Sara: 1:02

Not nobody has any pressing opinions about season 5 so far.

Eric: 1:06

Really? Really?

Sara: 1:07

I can't imagine why that is. Yeah.

Eric: 1:09

Well, that's maybe because they haven't heard these episodes yet because remember, we record in advance.

Sara: 1:15

Well, some of them watch, but so far, not for season 5.

Eric: 1:21

Well, anyway, Steele Hanging In There part 1 1st aired 02/03/1987, written by Robin Bernheim and directed by Christopher Hibbler. And I decided, I guess, to go with the TV Guide listings. None of them are really great, but

Sara: 1:41

No. They're really not. Anyway Yeah.

Eric: 1:45

TV Guide listing. It gets tougher for the Steeles to continue their marriage charade when a woman from Steel's past shows up intending to become the real missus Steele, and Tony, the archaeologist from Mexico, pops up in Los Angeles as an immigration agent.

Sara: 2:03

Yeah.

Eric: 2:03

Yes. You're gonna say something.

Sara: 2:06

No. No. Just well, I mean, the notes are interesting too because Mhmm. The original script had Laura finding Felicia Mhmm. Instead of Shannon Wayne, and they switched it at the last minute, obviously, because I couldn't get Cassandra for whatever reason. And I have to wonder like, knowing that and watching the episode knowing that, it would've made more sense, way more sense for it to be Felicia. Like, I I I obviously, schedules are what they are, and sometimes somebody's not available, and I get that. But it's it's frustrating because having some random woman that he's never mentioned ever before pop up and it causing this much trouble for them at this point in their relationship. It just feels silly. It doesn't but Felicia is a sticking point for Laura. She is a like, she undermines Laura's confidence. She gets under her skin. It it just

Eric: 3:01

would've been for a far more interesting episode.

Sara: 3:04

Absolutely. And they just they play off each other so well. Like, Cassandra Harris and Stephanie is like, they're so good at, like, it's just frustrating Yes. What we could have seen versus and no no hate to Sara Douglas. She's she's great. Like, I've seen her in a bunch of stuff. She's in Superman 2, I believe, as as 1 of the villains from

Eric: 3:26

Kryptonian?

Sara: 3:29

1 of the Kryptonian villains and stuff. Like, she's a good actress. She is. It's just this had to be a character that we knew already if in order for it to work the way it was supposed to work Because we know Tony already, and he's already a thorn in our side when it comes to Steele. So we needed something of equal

Eric: 3:45

I would I would have placed the pain a little lower.

Sara: 3:48

Fair. But, like, we needed something of equal weight for Laura, and Shannon just isn't it.

Eric: 3:55

So No. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, we opened with various night shots of what must be London based on what what we've told later. And the 1st shot is of a bright neon lit area, obviously, 1 of the nicer areas. The 2nd is an area which is still lit with the bright neon, though it looks to be perhaps not quite as nice an area as the 1 in the 1st shot. And then, of course, the 3rd is a poorly lit and probably the lower class or industrial area.

Sara: 4:26

Yeah.

Eric: 4:26

And the 4th is a dark alley. It's got a sinister look and having no lighting at all, basically, except for maybe a little bit sneaking in from the far end of the alley. So it's it's really dark and depressing, and it would be the great location for Snoopy's 1st chapter of his novel. You know, it was a dark and stormy night. Yeah.

Sara: 4:49

I was thinking that.

Eric: 4:52

Well, we hear the sounds of running footsteps, and then we see the shadow of a woman who is running as it moves across the wall, and it is followed by the shadow of man who is also running. And then we see the woman's face briefly lit by the light from the end of an alley, and it's Ursa from Superman 2.

Sara: 5:10

Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 5:10

Although, actually, in this universe, we don't yet know who the woman is. And then, of course, we see the face of the man who's chasing her. And as the woman approaches an open loading door, another man steps out from in front of her blocking her path. She stops and then looks back toward the man who's been chasing her hoping for an opening to escape, but he's on her like a tick on a hound dog. He grabs her and pulls her arm behind her as the 2nd man tells the woman, ain't polite to run off in the middle of a conversation. He wants his money. And he'll get it, the woman insists. When? The man inquires, And struggling, she says, a week. 2 at the most. Well, the man doubts her asking, who's gonna give her all that grain? My husband, she answers hotly. The man, to holding her, jerks her arm. It's his kind of reminder to know her place and not to lie. And the man in front of her says, 1 of us has got a bum memory, love. You ain't married. That's merely a formality, you greasy little ape, she retorts, and she jerks I know her

Sara: 6:19

that I would be, like, threatening the man who's know, like, I'm not saying that they're right in in threatening to kill her. I'm just saying if somebody's threatening to kill me, I'm not going to be calling Yeah. Him I'm just silly. Well,

Eric: 6:38

she steps forward, points her finger at the 2nd man, and in an angry and insulting voice tells him to run back to his master and tell him he'll get every penny she owes him just as soon as she becomes missus Remington Steele. And again, that's that's a little bit. Yeah.

Sara: 6:56

Yeah. Right?

Eric: 6:57

Yeah. They they do say the best defense is a strong offense, but part of that's knowing when to do it and when not to.

Sara: 7:03

Exactly. Yeah. It's a bit of an like, as openings go, it's obviously meant to, a, introduce Shannon and b Mhmm. Tell us, oh, there's going to be more complications to their relationship. And I can only imagine what it would have been like watching it in real time and and just going, seriously? You know, like, they're we're just just tired. Can we just not? Maybe? Well, But again, next if it were Felicia though Mhmm. Yes. I could see fans sitting up and going, oh. 0. Okay. Like, this is the new friends. It needed to be Felicia.

Eric: 7:43

Yes. Well, next, we are in what I'm guessing is the Los Angeles International Airport, not having ever been there myself. Laura, Steele, and Mildred have returned. And as they are walking out of the terminal, Steele rejoices, home sweet home. And Laura gives her a sense saying that even the smog smells good.

Sara: 8:03

You know, it's it's funny. I'm sure it is the LA Airport that they're filming because why wouldn't they?

Eric: 8:08

But Yeah.

Sara: 8:09

Sorry. You just said that, and we were watching the movie Highlander the other night, and it just reminded me of, like, how oftentimes we know what Remington Steele is not the case because they filmed it in LA. We know that. But how oftentimes you'll get shows or movies that will film in Canada, but it will they'll pretend it's The States. And every now and then, it screws up and Canadians are like, I know what that is. That's what Highlander 3 was supposed to be in New York, but they filmed it in Montreal. And all that was fine and well, it it worked out fine other than the airport scene where he goes to meet his his son and you see in the background the big old sign that says, Montreal. That's supposed to be the the New York Airport.

Eric: 8:53

Well, you know, nowadays, they would just Digitally that out, digitally remove it, and and replace it. Yeah.

Sara: 8:59

It's so funny because every time I watch it, I'm that's not New York.

Eric: 9:05

Anyway, sorry. It might be if Montreal has moved.

Sara: 9:08

Well, yeah. If they've moved it to New York, sure. Yeah.

Eric: 9:11

Or or move New York to Montreal. Yeah. Anyway, at the curb, they are greeted by Fred, the real Yay, Fred. You're back, buddy. Love you, man.

Sara: 9:24

We we missed you.

Eric: 9:26

Yes. And, you know, I wonder if he's the real Fred, maybe he didn't notice. He took off on vacation, had had friend in Rome who's working for him, picking up his page.

Sara: 9:42

A list of replacements that they haven't even noticed. Oh, Fred, did you do something to your hair? No. No. You

Eric: 9:51

put on some weight, Fred.

Sara: 9:53

Maybe he's got, like, some brothers. You know, they all look kind of this kind of similar, but not the same. Yeah.

Eric: 10:00

Well, anyway, as he's loading their luggage into the trunk of the limo, he asks Steele and Laura if they had a nice honeymoon. And with a slightly surly tone in his voice, Steele responds that it was a truly unforgettable experience. And Laura, playing the subductress, clarifies with overplayed enthusiasm that what mister Steele means is that the honeymoon is just the beginning, and she leans in for a kiss, which she receives. Fred pulls out an envelope and hands it to Steele saying that it came special delivery for Steele this morning. We we talked about this in the last episode. I guess when Steele, Laura, and Mildred are out of the office, Fred is in charge and writing everything.

Sara: 10:46

It's gotta be because he's delivering their mail. Like, when is that part of his job description?

Eric: 10:51

Signing for their special deliveries. You know? Yeah.

Sara: 10:55

I gotta well, I mean, he does also, like, hide bodies in the back seat.

Eric: 10:58

That's true.

Sara: 10:59

There's a lot of extras that his job that's why he's paid so well.

Eric: 11:03

Duties as assigned.

Sara: 11:05

Yeah. Exactly. And a nondisclosure agreement that is ironclad.

Eric: 11:11

That's right. Well, discussed it at the interruption. Steele snatches the envelope from Fred. And as he opens it, Laura spots the words immigration on the letter.

Sara: 11:22

Never a good sign.

Eric: 11:24

No. Steele begins to read well, it's never a good sign when you get a a special delivery letter. You know?

Sara: 11:29

True. Yeah. That's true.

Eric: 11:30

I mean, I I suppose in theory, it could be a good thing, you know, if a rich uncle died, but, you know Yeah. It's kinda like know.

Sara: 11:38

When you've applied to university and you get the the small envelope versus the big packet, you know immediately without even opening it, which 1 is the acceptance letter and which 1 is no way written in crayon. So, like, it's pretty easy to tell.

Eric: 11:54

Well, as Steele begins to read, it goes, dear mister Steele, given the circumstances surrounding the demise of Dorman Keyes, we shall be forced to continue our investigation into the Holt Steele marriage. Forms enclosed, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Yours sincerely, Gladys Lynch. And Laura repeats the name in the same questioning tone that Steele used with reading the name. And Mildred asked, what happened to Estelle Becker? Steele surmises that she's been supplanted.

Sara: 12:23

They had to expect sorry, but they had to have not only did he almost marry somebody else 1st and then switch and change his mind and marry Laura on a freaking fishing boat and then take off to Mexico, and the guy that suspected that their marriage was funny dies. And, okay, he was cleared of the murder, but still, like, they had to assume that immigration wasn't just gonna be like, well, this seems all neat and tidy. We're done here. Yeah. Just Well

Eric: 12:51

yes.

Sara: 12:52

I'm sorry, but that's a little bit naive.

Eric: 12:56

Yes. Well, Mildred ends to know when these bureaucrats are gonna leave them alone. Well, Laura snatches the letter from Steele proclaiming that if miss Lynch wants proof, they'll give her proof. And then she tells Fred to take them to the office. And then she stomps off around the limo, Steele, stands unmoving, wondering, the office? And obviously, he had some other place in mind to produce the proof of their marriage.

Sara: 13:20

And this is what I'm wondering. Like, was she was she inviting inviting Gladys Lynch to come watch them consummate the marriages?

Eric: 13:28

That was my next line. And then I know what says, but then again, perhaps Laura's into public displays of erection.

Sara: 13:36

You are cordially invited to an orgy. So I know, like, how how are you going to

Eric: 13:41

Yes. Well, once inside the limo, Laura tells Steele that 1st, they're gonna take care of the paperwork. Then they're going to invite Gladys Lynch over for a very special dinner. Parsnik and old lace,

Sara: 13:54

no question. His his 1st assumption is we're gonna poison her. Yeah. It's not like we're gonna have a dinner and show her how how in love we are. It's, oh, we're poisoning. Poison's on the menu. We're doing poisonings now.

Eric: 14:07

Mid Mildred is obviously confused by the reference as I think a lot of people are and still I love that movie. Carrie Grant, Justine Hall, Warner Brothers 1944. 2 little old ladies invite elderly gentlemen to sip elderberry wine and poison them, which and of course, Laura says, well, that's a little extreme. I I've gotta think that this was well, we gotta we gotta work in a movie reference. What can It we come up

Sara: 14:35

has to be because you could have picked so many other movies that would have worked better Mhmm. For for this. And, yeah, it does feel it does feel kinda shoehorned in there, especially, like Mhmm. There are other places in the episode too where you could have put a movie reference that was more appropriate

Eric: 14:54

Right.

Sara: 14:54

Than this 1. But to I mean, I love don't get me wrong. I love Arsenic and Old Lace. It's 1 of my favorite movies. Yeah. I have it on my shelf. But, yeah. It just feels weird that he would immediately say a movie where

Eric: 15:06

the Yeah. You're gonna poison people.

Sara: 15:08

You're trying to get away from like, out of the view of the authorities, not Yeah.

Eric: 15:15

Not more into

Sara: 15:16

If Gladys Lynch mysteriously disappears after everything else that happened with Robert Keys, do you really think they're just gonna be like, well, I guess everything's fine now?

Eric: 15:25

Well, of course, on the other hand, the the the people assigned to the case may may just rubber stamp it because, I mean, after all, look what happened to the last 2 people. Yeah. That's

Sara: 15:33

true, actually. They just don't wanna deal with it. Maybe he steals onto something. Yeah.

Eric: 15:37

You know, what they say, the 3rd time's the charm, but, do you really wanna test that theory? Nope. Well, anyway, Laura continues saying, seeing is believing. Right? Step 1, Mildred. Develop pictures. Proof of a honeymoon.

Sara: 15:51

Singular picture 1.

Eric: 15:54

Well, we get to that in a minute. Just don't get in a hurry.

Sara: 15:57

Well, here's the thing. Go ahead. Sorry. LA has areas that could easily be Mexico. Right? Mhmm. Well, think ocean you can't prove the ocean's not Mexico. Why not go and take a few pictures near the ocean as long as there's no discernible landmarks or what have you on that same film, and then have Mildred go develop it and say, look, here's us at the ocean. Here's us at the you know?

Eric: 16:23

And they've got slums that could be used to replicate Mexico?

Sara: 16:28

Like, there's there's definitely ways you could use some photograph. It's not like they're in the like, it's not like they're in Southern Ontario where there's not a palm tree to be found. Like, you could definitely Right. Get away with a few more pictures in LA that Yes. Look like Mexico. They should have done that instead. Does she really think 1 picture is going to prove that they went to Mexico? I mean, they did, but, like, who doesn't take pictures on their honeymoon?

Eric: 16:52

Well, yeah. Well, I guess it depends on how often you get out of the hotel room.

Sara: 16:59

You don't wanna give Gladys Lynch those pictures, but I'm just saying they could've taken a few more.

Eric: 17:06

Yeah. But, know, they do have their passports. They did get stamped, so or presumably, they got stamped. I I don't I don't remember They

Sara: 17:14

stopped doing that now, but, yeah, they used to stamp them.

Eric: 17:17

You know, I'm I'm trying to think, though, because I know I seem to recall when I was younger, we took a trip that went into Mexico, and we didn't need passports, but, you know, there may be certain areas, tourist areas, where that's not the case, but

Sara: 17:35

I think Yeah. We didn't used to need passports to go to The US. Like, I remember just going across and showing her you know, my mom would show her driver's license, and I'd be like, come on in. It's not how it is anymore, obviously, but there'd still be a record of their flights and stuff like that.

Eric: 17:49

Yes.

Sara: 17:49

You just wouldn't want them well, I guess they already know about Keys' death. So, yeah. It just seems silly to to take 1 picture and think that that's gonna be

Eric: 17:58

Well, you know, the other thing is that they've got the police reports of of all the activities that happened down there. Already aware of what happened down there, so they know they were down in Mexico. And if they say anything about, well, you only got 1 picture. Well, look what we were dealing with.

Sara: 18:13

We were my husband was kind of locked up.

Eric: 18:15

We would did

Sara: 18:15

you want us to take a selfie in the jail? Like Yeah. I mean And here's us in here's us here's mister Steele behind bars.

Eric: 18:23

Oh, and here's when when Mildred broke him out of the jail.

Sara: 18:26

Here's the hole that they put in the back of the wall. Such a romantic trip. Yes.

Eric: 18:33

Anyways, Laura goes on to step 2, which is that she moves her clothes in, proof of cohabitation. And step 3, Steele cooks up 1 of his fabulous gourmet feasts. Indisputable proof of wedded domestic dumbest dumbest domesticity.

Sara: 18:52

And okay. Again

Eric: 18:55

Mhmm.

Sara: 18:57

Why his apartment? Hers looks more lived in. His doesn't really have much Aside from the movie posters, there's no I real don't know. It doesn't look homey. It doesn't look like a place where you'd make a life together. It does It looks like 1 bachelor man lives there, which is fine because that's what it is. But like, Laura's loft has more of like a lived in feel. It feels more like a home. It would make more sense to move his stuff into her loft and have Gladys Lynch come to her place. I don't know. It just feels like there's more of a this place has, like, I don't know, a soul, some character to it. They're I neither 1 of their places looks like they both live there, to be honest. They both have the personality of the person that lives there, but

Eric: 19:44

But, you know, the thing is, at this time, it was less common for people to live together prior to marriage, and so okay. They they they had the ceremony. Granted, it was on a boat. It was last minute. It wasn't planned. They had a honeymoon. They've just come back. How how much time do I have

Sara: 20:03

have them to have to

Eric: 20:04

move into the other place? You wouldn't have to have time. And make it look like they've they've been living there for a while. I mean, that's not

Sara: 20:11

No. No. I just mean that his is so minimalist, and it's because of his being a con man. He still kind of lives this life where he doesn't want any personality markers around his home beyond those movie posters. So for immigration, they might walk in and see this minimalist apartment with like no personality trappings in it and and maybe think, this whereas hers has the personality trappings, so it looks a little more

Eric: 20:35

On the other hand on the other hand, it may be easier to highlight her presence in his because it is so

Sara: 20:44

Because of that.

Eric: 20:45

Otherwise stark as compared to trying to make his presence more noticeable in her loft.

Sara: 20:51

That's a good point. Sure. Well, to be honest, if it were real, they would be looking for a place beyond, like, their place. Something that wasn't his or hers because both of those places are not really If you are theoretically really married and and looking at starting a family or a life together, you probably wouldn't go with. I'm sure they could go with either 1 of those places, but his is a 1 bedroom. Hers is a 1 bedroom. Mhmm. You couldn't really have a family in there.

Eric: 21:18

Actually, hers isn't even a 1 bedroom.

Sara: 21:20

Hers is

Eric: 21:20

a curtain on a rod. It's a

Sara: 21:22

curtain on a rod. Yeah. So, like, if you were planning a family, neither 1 of those apartments would really be ideal for that. So

Eric: 21:29

Yeah. But they I mean, when you're starting out, you don't have kids. Sure. 1 bedroom apartment works.

Sara: 21:34

Yeah. Oh, for sure. For sure.

Eric: 21:35

So, anyway, Mildred, this is where Mildred says, hold the huzzahs. We have a problem. The 2 lovebirds only took 1 picture. And Laura starts to respond but seems to be stuck for a response. Yeah. So Steele jumps in telling Mildred to simply make 10 copies.

Sara: 21:52

Which is ridiculous because 10 copies of the same picture is still 1 picture. And are they thinking Gladys is not going to notice that? It's like Yeah. Okay.

Eric: 22:03

So Laura smiles adding that by the time dessert is served, they'll have miss Lynch eating out of the palms of their hands. And Steele says, mhmm, and then asks. And after dessert, I'm open for suggestions, Laura answers.

Sara: 22:20

Hopefully, it doesn't involve miss Lynch.

Eric: 22:24

Well, Steele puts on his sunglasses and in an indecent tone tells Fred, the office, and don't spare the rubber.

Sara: 22:32

And Fred. Okay. Fred or the other Freds, they probably think these 2 are, like, constantly going at it like rabbits because there's all these there's all this sexual tension between them. Right? And it's Mhmm. Kinda hilariously. You gotta again, I would love to have seen a day in the life of Fred where just we we we get all of his observations. He goes home. He may it says he doesn't have a family, but like if he has friends or whatever. Yeah. Mister Steele and Lord did this to that. I had a body in the trunk. They're they all seem to they always seem to get shot at when they're kissing. It's I gotta take the car, the limo in. There's a bullet in the grill again. Oh, hell on the bodywork. You know, just I'd love to see this this man's life.

Eric: 23:19

Anyway, next we are at the Century Towers, and the trio turns a corner in the hallway leading to the office, but they stop. Laura and Steele are shocked. Mildred's pleased as they spot a crowd of people waiting outside the office. Steele wonders allowed who they all are. Who

Sara: 23:37

are they? You haven't been away that long, Steele. They're standing outside your place of business. Who do you think they are?

Eric: 23:48

The cleaning crew. They came early.

Sara: 23:51

Right. Oh, lord.

Eric: 23:54

Well, Mildred says that she figured the 2 of them would be raring to go once they got back. When did Mildred schedule these things?

Sara: 24:00

I would like to know that as well because she was in Mexico with them.

Eric: 24:04

So Most of the time. Yeah. Not not the whole time, but most of the time. Yeah.

Sara: 24:07

Fred did it. Fred went into the office. He didn't have any driving work to do, so he sat behind the phones, Well,

Eric: 24:19

just then, 1 of the crowd turns his head toward the trio and recognizing Steele, calls out his name. The crowd rushes forward talking and hollering and crowding around the trio, making it difficult for them to make their way to the office door to open it. And during the fracas, Laura has to push past the man to get to the door, and she tells him, excuse me, as she pushes past him, to which the man angrily responds, wait your turn, lady?

Sara: 24:43

Yeah. Which okay. A, would be ridiculously frustrating given her whole thing, but also it is extremely irritating when people cut the lines. So

Eric: 24:57

That's true. Well, the mob follows them into the office, but everyone is talking, fussing, and being generally unruly. Finally, Mildred gives out with a sharp whistle and the crowd falls silent. Having gotten a handle on the crowd as well as their attention,

Mildred asks, where's 09: 25:12

00? The man who incited the mayhem steps forward. A woman steps forward and identifies herself as 9 15. A young couple snuggled closely together steps forward.

They're 09: 25:24

30. The man who confronted Laura at the door steps up.

He's 09: 25:29

45. And from the back, a bald, short, bispectacled man steps forward,

and in a questioning tone announces himself as 11: 25:35

30?

Sara: 25:38

Who shows up that early?

Eric: 25:42

Well, Mildred curtly tells him that he's early, but he tells her, I'm a desperate man.

Sara: 25:47

Yeah. Does he have a gun? I'm a desperate man. Not again.

Eric: 25:51

Meldred orders him to sit down. Steele suggests to Laura that due to their sizable backlog, as he calls it, they should divide and conquer. Don't they do better as a team? She suggests. Steele describes the mob as rabid, and then not giving her an

opportunity to respond, calls out for the 9 and 09: 26:08

15 clients

directing the 09:00 man to his office, the 09: 26:11

15 woman to Laura's office. Laura's spinning around, sputtering, trying to keep up, trying to rein in Steele, and trying to get a word in edgewise, but without success. After Steele disappears into his office, door closed, Laura spins around toward Mildred, still trying to get control of the situation. Wait a minute, she begins to Mildred, but Mildred comes over to her and she almost shoves Laura into her office telling

Sara: 26:39

her I know.

Eric: 26:40

In house just run them through.

Sara: 26:43

Get in there.

Eric: 26:45

Mild returns, and as Steele did a moment earlier, does not even give Laura a chance to say anything. Now, giving up, Laura closes the door and addresses the woman. Laura apologizes to the woman, 1 missus McCormick, for the mix up explaining that she and mister Steele, then she corrects herself saying, my husband and I just got back from our honeymoon. And with grim condescension, missus McCormick tells Laura not to apologize. She knows how it is. She was a secretary who married Vos too.

Sara: 27:14

Okay. So does this woman actually want the the them to take their case? Because if you're gonna be passive aggressive and bitchy, they're just gonna turn you away, which is what Laura does. It's just

Eric: 27:27

Yeah. I mean Well, but, you know, she's somewhat distraught. Although kind of not she's she's getting what she deserves, but she's So she's not thinking. She's not maybe all that aware of social niceties and and courtesies and sex.

Sara: 27:52

Yeah.

Eric: 27:53

I mean, you kinda understand her her response, but, yeah, she she created the situation. She's gotta you know, she made that bed. She's gotta eat the crackers in it now. Laura gives the woman a menacing glare, and is there a word to describe that look? When somebody gets when their head is down, their eyebrows furrowed, they just sort of roll their eyes up without raising their head. There's there's gotta be a name for it, but I don't know what it is. Anyway, Laura then proudly raises her head, looks at the woman, and haughtily informs her that she was never a secretary. Well, bitterly, the woman responds that Laura shouldn't be embarrassed. It happens all the time. You're the shoulder he cries on, the 1 who caters to his every whim. So why shouldn't he dump the old crow and marry you?

Sara: 28:40

Mister Steele

Eric: 28:40

and I are mister Steele and I are different, Laura tries to explain. That's what I said about Herbert, missus McCormick says tearfully. Only now the louse is cheating on me with his new secretary. Well, no kidding.

Sara: 28:55

Was it Herbert or Hubert? I thought she said Hubert.

Eric: 28:59

Hubert. Yes. That's what I said.

Sara: 29:00

Okay. Sorry. I was you said Herbert.

Eric: 29:03

No. You you just misheard it. Sure.

Sara: 29:07

But yeah. No kidding. If you start a relationship off where you are the mistress, and he's chief of his wife, and you know yeah. And you know that you're the mistress, then, yeah. If you were marrying somebody if you're if you start a relationship with somebody who where your relationship started as an affair Mhmm. That's gonna happen to you, and you cannot be surprised when it does. I'm But like, I have no sympathy for that whatsoever. Oh my gosh. He cheated on his 1st wife, and now he's cheating on me? What a crazy random happenstance. Who would have thought? Yeah. No. Leopards are eating my face. I never would have guessed when I voted for the leopards eating my face party. It's just like welcome to the consequences of your own actions.

Eric: 29:51

Yes. Well, the woman raises a handkerchief to her face to wipe her tears in her nose. Laura somewhat insincerely tells the woman that she's very sorry to hear that. Still crying, the woman says she doesn't want pity. Then her head jerks up, but the tears and despair are gone, replaced by anger and vengeance saying she wants proof. She wants pictures. She wants to make sure that no good dirtbag's gonna think twice before he takes another dip in the steno pool.

Sara: 30:20

So my guess is that this is pre no fault divorce because otherwise, why would it matter why he cheated?

Eric: 30:29

Well, it it may not have there may have been a prenup involved.

Sara: 30:39

Ah, yeah. Good point.

Eric: 30:40

But in order for her to get anything as she leaves, she may have to prove infidelity.

Sara: 30:45

Yeah. That's what I mean about, like, pre no fault divorce. Because, like, with no fault divorce, you don't have to prove anything. You can just say

Eric: 30:51

Unless I mean, unless even with a no fault, I I would think that if you can prove that somebody cheated, you might be able to say, well, no. We're not gonna go the no fault no fault route because I'm owed this money because you weren't, you know, you weren't fainting.

Sara: 31:10

Especially if she doesn't have a job and he's the 1, like, providing for them. I'm just it this is kinda funny that I want I don't want pity. I I want proof. I want pictures. I want it.

Eric: 31:21

Yeah. Okay. I want his blood on the

Sara: 31:23

floor. Exactly. Yeah.

Eric: 31:27

That was a quick turnaround.

Sara: 31:29

Yep.

Eric: 31:29

Anyway, Laura stands and begins walking toward the desk or begins walking around the desk and toward missus McCormick and the door. And as missus McCormick stands and begins to also move toward the door, Laura begins a rather condescendingly sounding apology.

Sara: 31:44

Yeah.

Eric: 31:45

She understands how upset all this upsetting all this must be, but the Remington Steele Agency isn't equipped to handle matters of such a delicate nature. Perhaps she should consult the Yellow Pages, she concludes dismissively.

Sara: 31:59

They have taken cases like this before.

Eric: 32:02

Take the case.

Sara: 32:03

She's yeah. She doesn't wanna do it because the woman was rude and assumed that she was a sec but here's the thing.

Eric: 32:08

That was that was the thing. I mean, anything else she you know, Laura could've, you know, maybe accepted, but that, assuming I was a secretary who married the boss, slept my way to the top, no thing.

Sara: 32:19

I get yeah. I get being angry about the assumption she slept her way to the top. Is a little bit rude to be I was never a secretary because there's nothing wrong with being a secretary.

Eric: 32:30

Mildred is a secretary. But it's the association of secretary that swept away

Sara: 32:35

to the top. Slept with the boss, and now she's in a position she didn't earn because she slept with the boss, which would be infuriating. And the fact that she spent so much time already being the unnamed woman or the, you know, random associate or some whatever it is, and now it's the, oh, no. You're an associate, but you're not really. I mean Yeah. You didn't really.

Eric: 32:58

Yeah. That's get that's like the there was a Dick Van Dyke episode where Mel Cooley, is the producer, but also the brother-in-law of the star, refuses to let Alan Brady read a script that the the team wrote because it's about a a brother-in-law who goes from mailroom to running the company in 5 days or something like that. And so yeah. Yeah. There there's that there's that whole it doesn't matter what the position is, whether it's a secretary or, you know, doorman or whatever.

Sara: 33:36

Exact yeah.

Eric: 33:36

The the nepotism, the the special favors because of who or what you are or who or what you're doing, you know, that that doesn't set well with people, and especially it doesn't set well with people who earned their way.

Sara: 33:55

Yeah.

Eric: 33:56

You know? But anyway

Sara: 33:58

It would be humiliating. It would be humiliating to be assumed. And it could also be when you think of things like the casting couch and a lot of those actresses that were essentially, I mean, not forced by gunpoint, but told unless you want if you want to get into the business, you have to do these things to do it. Mhmm. When you're dangling somebody's livelihood versus, okay, you sleep with this person or you do this thing. Mhmm. It would also be it's also kind of a a form of coercion.

Eric: 34:27

Oh. Right? Yes. That's not even a form of it. It is.

Sara: 34:31

It is. Yeah. Yes. That person can walk out the door, but at the same time, if they don't have any other way of feeding themselves or it's like you're holding power over somebody. And so Laura probably resents the idea that people might look at her and see her as somebody who was coerced and or Mhmm. Either either she's a opportunistic you know what? Starts with an s as with a t, or she was coerced by, you know, a power hungry either way, it doesn't that's not great.

Eric: 35:00

It doesn't look good. Yeah.

Sara: 35:02

Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 35:04

Well, the woman walks out of the office and Laura begins to close the door, but the woman turns back, steps into the doorway preventing Laura from closing the door and says, take a little advice, honey. Keep up the shorthand. The woman turns to leave and Laura slams the door behind her, which I think is her comment is is probably an indication that she didn't keep up to shorthand. And as you mentioned earlier, probably doesn't have an occupation at this point.

Sara: 35:31

No. At a Doesn't lot

Eric: 35:32

of have any come at this point.

Sara: 35:33

That's what happens with these particular types of affairs where you you meet this guy at work. Mhmm. You're the work wife. Right? Mhmm. You lure this guy away from the wife. He decides, oh, you're my 1 and only. We'll get married, and then you don't have to work a day in your life again. Great. Wonderful. Awesome. Oh, no. He's cheating. Now, what do I do? I haven't had a job in 15 years.

Eric: 35:55

Yeah. Well, Laura gives the door an angry look for a moment, and then, curious, looks toward the interconnecting door to Steele's office, wondering what's going on in there. After a moment, she marches toward the door. She opens the interconnecting door and leans her head in, and Steele and the unnamed Clyde are sitting at the edge of the desk, each with a cup of coffee in their hands, laughing. As Laura steps in, the man sees her and stands. Oh, so this is the little woman, he leers. He slaps Steele on the shoulder saying, that's quite some catch, you sly dog. Laura scowls, steps forward, and extends her hand for a shake, introducing herself, but stumbling over the as of yet unfamiliar and perhaps slightly uncomfortable name, Laura Holt. Steele. Holt Steele. Laura Holt Steele. And some yes.

Sara: 36:50

In terms of the names, because it's it's becoming increasingly common for for women not to change their name. I didn't change my name. My husband's name is different from my name. And especially where your profession is involved, a lot of times, you even if you change it privately, you might continue with the maiden name professionally because that's the name that people know you by. I can understand why she would be wanting to appear to have changed her name or in the process of doing so or what have you because of immigration because they would see that as more proof that they are actually married. Whereas if she kept her name, Laura Holt, it would not feel like it was an actual legitimate union, which don't get me started on that because the whole idea of, like, a woman has to give up her name, but a guy gets to keep his sorry.

Eric: 37:36

Well, of course, as somebody once pointed out, when when Oma says, well, I I kept my name and didn't take my husband's you mean you kept your father's name?

Sara: 37:45

Right. But you kept your father's name. Right? Like, everybody has like, unfortunately, because that's the way society evolved.

Eric: 37:53

Yeah. But I'm saying the logic is, well, I'm not gonna change my name, you know, because a man's to to match a man's last name. Well, your your last name was because of a man. So, you know.

Sara: 38:01

Well, I mean but I mean, I was born with that name. Right? So whoever it came from 1st is irrelevant in the sense that, like, I don't wanna adopt another 1. Like, that's but either way, if this were if this marriage were legitimate, I understand why they're doing the whole Steele whole Steele thing because it they again, immigration. Mhmm. I don't think Laura would take his name because a, it's not really his name. Right? Like, it's

Eric: 38:25

Well, that's true.

Sara: 38:25

For that reason alone, I don't think she would she would change her name to Laura Steele when she literally made up that name. It it and I I wonder if he would not take her name, but I I don't know if he would necessarily feel bothered by her keeping her name since his name wasn't ever really his name to begin with. It's not like it's an

Eric: 38:49

Well, let me challenge you on 1 little aspect of that because she probably, under different circumstances taking take the immigration people out of it for the time being.

Sara: 39:02

That's what I'm saying. If they were married without immigration, like

Eric: 39:05

I'm not sure she wouldn't still change her name to at least hyphenated because the whole whole pretense of the agency is that he's really Remington Steele, and so this would keep up that pretense.

Sara: 39:20

Right. But if she kept her name professionally as Laura Holt Mhmm. People wouldn't necessarily know that she married the boss, and she could avoid those assumptions.

Eric: 39:29

Well, yeah, except for the fact that she goes around telling everybody that she's married to the boss.

Sara: 39:33

Well, I mean, in in her personal life, but not in in in the professional

Eric: 39:36

in the office.

Sara: 39:38

Well, okay. Yes. But but that's because, again, Remington or immigration's breathing down their necks. They have to be publicly like, yes. We're married. We're married. Hey, everybody. We're married. But if this, again, if we take immigration out of it, if they just got married quietly on their own, I could see her keeping her name professionally and probably personally too because again, it's it's a made up name that she gave him. It's not really there's no symbolism of of of, you know, uniting with him when it's not ever his name to begin with. It's just it Well I could see

Eric: 40:09

her keeping it. He has accepted it as his name. He's adopted it as his name. She gave it to him as his name when she gave him the passport. So in in a real sense, it is his name. So, yeah, maybe in the office, she would still go by go by Laura Holt, but she would very possibly not. She might hyphenate it in the office simply because of this is how we've sold the agency, and what's the big deal?

Sara: 40:39

Well, I just think The name

Eric: 40:40

by any other name is still a True.

Sara: 40:42

No. I don't disagree with Given how people are reacting to her marrying the boss Mhmm. I would think she'd want to avoid that if she could.

Eric: 40:50

She's not going to. There's I mean, people are going to know. It it it probably gets into the newspaper at some point, if not already.

Sara: 41:01

Coming to Steele marries unnamed woman. There's the headline. Very

Eric: 41:09

good. Very good. Very good.

Sara: 41:11

I'm just saying. Well,

Eric: 41:16

after Laura's name confusion, Steele somewhat flippantly congratulates her on getting the hang of it. Well, the other man suggests to Steele that he bet she does a lot more than just type and file. Steele says, and this I got a problem with this line kind of. Steele says that his wife is a woman of many talents because I think he's intentionally but obviously intentionally pretending to miss the implications of the statement Yeah. While simultaneously simultaneously seeming to confirm the implications.

Sara: 41:56

Yeah. Yeah. He's not she's not stupid, and she knows what this man is implying, and she knows that he knows what this man is implying because he's not stupid. So he apparently never ever ever wants to consummate this marriage because he keeps doing this nonsense. This is exactly like, this is rude. This is rude. There's no benefit to maintaining their cover here. In fact, it it appears slimy for him to just go along with this guy rather than saying, hey. This is my wife. Let's be a little civil here. This is a client. They've got a literally a backlog, a lineup of people wanting their services. They don't need this man.

Eric: 42:33

No. So he have There a saying in business that you don't want every person that walks through your door as a customer.

Sara: 42:40

Not all business is good business, and No. He has defended her in the past when when men have been slimy like this. Mhmm. He this this feels out of character for him to be like, yeah. She's gonna be talented. Like, it just

Eric: 42:55

Yeah.

Sara: 42:55

Dude, you tell him off. You say, hey, not okay. That's my wife you're talking about. Like, right in front of him?

Eric: 43:03

Mhmm. Yeah.

Sara: 43:04

Gross.

Eric: 43:06

Well, Laura, quite understandably, is testy when she asks, perhaps you'd like to fill me in on the case, mister Steele? Mister Steele, the man chuckles, asking, isn't that a bit formal, cutie? Steele makes the excuse. It's company policy. It's missus Steele it's mister Steele around the office. No exceptions for the little woman trooper. And Laura glowers at Steele who merely raises his eyebrows with a mocking, what? Look.

Sara: 43:36

What did I do? I don't know what I did. I'm trying. I didn't call you the little woman. What's better?

Eric: 43:40

That's right. The man grins at Steele, declares that Steele runs a tight ship, and that he likes that as he punches Steele on the shoulder. With barely controlled anger, Laura asks if they can please get down to business. The man mumbles, of course. Then he grabs Steele by the arm and pulls him aside, leaving Laura standing, ignored. He says, I own a yacht brokerage down at the marina. Lately, some of our ships have been disappearing right out of their slips. Now we're of course, then he falls silent as he senses Laura stepping up behind him. He turns and hands her his cup of coffee asking, could you top this off for me, cutie? He pinches her cheek, turns back to Steele and asks, how you fix, big guy? And Steele hesitates for a fraction of a 2nd and says, yes, I could do with a spot more tea. He hands Laura his cup and gives her a tap on the chin with his fist.

Sara: 44:32

And this is where she slaps both of them. Or at least says, get your own coffee and walks out of the room because this is just Yeah. No. Sorry. Don't physically assault potential clients

Eric: 44:48

Unless they

Sara: 44:48

deserve it. But seriously, set the mugs down and tell them to get their own coffee and leave because

Eric: 44:55

this is You could accidentally trip on a a a spot in the rug and dump it all

Sara: 45:01

on them. Oops. Oh, well, I guess I'm just a clumsy secretary. Whoopsie. Whoopsie.

Eric: 45:08

Well, Steele turns back to the client. They both laugh, and then the man confidentially counsels Steele. You want some advice from an old salt? Don't bring the little woman around the office. Cramps your style, if you know what I mean. Laura turns away. Steele grins at the man, and they both begin to laugh. And Laura Laura's finally had it. She stops about halfway to the door, turns around and sarcastically asks, might I see you for a moment, big guy?

Sara: 45:37

Yeah. In my notes, I've got calling him big guy in a way that ensures he will never have sex with her ever.

Eric: 45:45

It won't be that big when I'm done with it. Yes. Exactly. Realizing he doesn't wanna deal with being confronted by Laura, he tries to refuse, pointing out that they have a client. And he also stumbles over the unfamiliar name call situation, calling her Ms.

Sara: 46:02

Holt. Holt. Holt. Holt.

Eric: 46:04

Holt. Holt.

Sara: 46:04

Holt. But

Eric: 46:06

the unnamed client unintentionally foils Steel's attempt at avoidance. He's he he clamps Steele hard on the he clamps his hand on Steele's shoulder telling him, take your time, you slide dog. And he and Steele laugh as Steele steps toward Laura.

Sara: 46:22

His execution? Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 46:28

We well, we've, you know, we've outlawed capital punishment in California, but in your case, we'll make an exception. Yeah. Right. Well, Steele follows Laura into her office then closes the door. She turns to him and demands to he stop encouraging that boor. He insists that he's merely trying to maintain their cover. Bull. Well, then stop enjoying it so much, she insists.

Sara: 46:49

There's a line between maintaining your cover and basic respect, and he crossed it big

Eric: 46:54

time. Yeah.

Sara: 46:54

Like, that's come on. You can't make that ex I'm just maintaining my cover. Maintaining your cover would have been, hey, that's my wife. Let's not not make jokes and disrespect her Yeah. In my presence. That would show a loving husband who who actually has a partner who works with him, not a secretary that slept her way to the top. His what he was maintaining was this illusion that he just saw a pretty little thing at the office and decided to wife her up so that he could have a nooner during lunchtime. Like, that's that's the cover he's maintaining. Ugh. Yeah. It's gross.

Eric: 47:26

Yeah. Well, yes, he insists that he's maintaining the cover. Laura says then, well, then stop enjoying it so much. Then only slightly more only slightly more calmly, she says that she was used to being an unidentified woman. She could even swallow it as an unnamed she could even swallow being an unnamed associate, but she's not used to having people assume that she slept her way to the into the job.

Sara: 47:55

That would be a new low for sure.

Eric: 47:58

Yeah. Well, seemingly not taking her concerns seriously, he says he realizes how humiliating it is for her.

Sara: 48:05

But it's I doubt

Eric: 48:05

the end result that counts.

Sara: 48:07

I don't think he realizes how humiliating that must be because

Eric: 48:11

No. And I'm not sure he at this point I was gonna say, I don't I don't think he cares at this point, but I I think he probably does, but he's not well or he will. He will. But I I I think he's he's just

Sara: 48:33

I don't think he fully realizes how it must feel.

Eric: 48:36

He's just caught up in the moment,

Sara: 48:37

I think. Yeah. To be good at something and to be completely dismissed by everybody around you, and then on top of it, to be assumed that you are only there because of the person next to you, because that person because you're sleeping with that person. I don't think he's ever even though he's never had a real job or or been in any sort of corporate structure or what have you, Anytime he'd ever pulled a con or anytime he's ever been playing Remington Steele, he's always gotten basic respect. Always. Yeah. And Laura has had to fight and claw and scratch for it

Eric: 49:13

Well, mostly. I mean, there there have been times that Laura has

Sara: 49:17

Well, not maybe

Eric: 49:17

not As he was developing as a detective, Laura was not giving him the respect No. That he was due for the skills he had developed. Sure. He wasn't he you know, he didn't have all the skills and so obviously, you don't treat him as Yeah. The best top of the line expert. But, you know, you give him credit for for for what he's done. You give credit where credit's due.

Sara: 49:39

But I work by society at large. I'm talking about like society at large. Like, you're right. She did not respect his contributions earlier on for sure.

Eric: 49:48

Well, I think that that that gives him a basis for understanding her her frustrations at this point, which he is ignoring because he does have that to draw on. Maybe not to the same degree, same level, maybe not to the same type of Yeah. Of disrespect, but I mean, he's got that to draw on. So it's it's not like he's He's just never been refusing to.

Sara: 50:11

Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 50:12

He's just enjoying playing the role and

Sara: 50:16

He likes being the big man and he likes having, oh, you slide dog. You Yeah. There's the little woman. It's it's it's funny for him. Yeah.

Eric: 50:24

Well, anyway, he says that by tonight, there'll be rid of Gladys Lynch and the whole rotten bunch of them at immigration, and it'll just be the 2 of them alone in his apartment. But he asked that alone in my apartment. He's he's not certain at this point, but he pulls her close, and there's no change in her attitude. Tenseness still shows in her face and throat, and he continues suggesting that she can practice sleeping her way to the top. After all, who knows what a night of love making her brain, her own parking space. And he kisses her lower lip. There's still no change in her attitude. Tenseness still shows in her face and on her throat. Unlimited expense account? Key to the executive washroom? Kisses her upper lip.

Sara: 51:12

See, this is where if he had defended her in the in the office, this would come off as charming, and it would Mhmm. It would be sweet. It would be like a funny joke between the 2 of them because they would be sort of laughing at the rest of the world's ridiculous assumption, and they would be sort of in on the same team.

Eric: 51:27

You know? Would be an inside joke.

Sara: 51:28

Yeah. An inside joke, but it just comes across as adding insult to injury after he's basically just gone along with it. And I was like, ah, who knows what to commit? You might get a key to the executive washroom. Dude, read the room.

Eric: 51:42

Well, it seems to work though because he kisses her upper lip, and she does begin to show signs of thawing.

Sara: 51:49

To to be fair, she does. Yeah.

Eric: 51:50

Yeah. And she says, well, throw in a desk chair and you've got yourself a deal. And then she gives him a small smile and they begin kissing. And then as she begins to put her arms around him, still holding the coffee cups, the interconnecting door opens. And the boor is saying, hey, little lady. He takes in the scene and gives a glaring glare a leering laugh, and Dolores says, make that a decaf, will you? Slap Steele on the shoulder and add, son of a gun, close the door. So

Sara: 52:27

Now see, all they need to do is call Gladys Lynch and get that guy to testify on their behalf.

Eric: 52:33

Well, any thine that had just occurred over the previous few moments has suddenly been flash frozen.

Sara: 52:39

Laura's The wall is

Eric: 52:40

up. Laura stiffly shoves the cups at Steele and then turns, walks into her office door or walks into or walks through her walks into her office through the door walks walks to her office door, opens it, and angrily yells, next. Yep. Well, next, we are at the Wilshire Federal Building at 11000 Wilshire on the corner of Wilshire And Suppleveda excuse me, Sepulveda Boulevard in Los Angeles. I knew I was gonna do that. I I spent years saying it as Suppleveda until I learned that it was Sepulveda.

Sara: 53:17

It's funny how that happens, how in your head you pronounce something the same way over and over again, and then you find out years later, oh, that's not how it is. But by that point, your brain's just like, no. This is how it is. You're just pronouncing it this way all the time forever.

Eric: 53:29

Well, in fairness, if you look at the spelling, it could be either 1.

Sara: 53:32

Yeah.

Eric: 53:33

Yeah. It doesn't there is no accent markings on this, and I just got the the, accent on the wrong syllable.

Sara: 53:40

You put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable.

Eric: 53:42

That's right. Well, we see a woman, stern in expression, appearance in manner, a folder held tightly to her chest, walking down a hallway.

Sara: 53:50

It's a very Mildred coded introduction. Oh, yeah. Because that's literally how we 1st saw Mildred.

Eric: 53:57

Yeah. That's true. That's true. She walks past the reception who adds who's answering the phone call saying, Department of Immigration and Naturalization. The woman approaches the office door that's behind the receptionist, gives a single knock, and then without waiting, walks right in. She closes the door behind her and then approaches the desk behind which stands Tony the phony baloney.

Sara: 54:19

Our best friend ever.

Eric: 54:22

Yeah. Did that sound

Sara: 54:25

unbelievable? I tried.

Eric: 54:28

He looks up at the woman and asks, Gladys Lynch? That's right is her clipped response. Rizzoli drops the folder he'd been holding, walks around the desk, and all friendly like puts his hand out to Shakers and cheerfully introduces himself. But Gladys isn't having any of it and refuses to shake his hand. Angrily, she informs

Sara: 54:48

him It is Tony. What? Can you blame her for not wanting to shake his hand? I'm just saying.

Eric: 54:54

Yeah. Angrily, she informs him that she just took over the Remington Steele case file from Estelle Becker and demands to know why she is suddenly having to report to him. Unfazed, he shrugs saying, ask Washington, and he walks back behind his desk. Estelle reports that she did ask Washington, but all she got was some gobbledygook about a fresh perspective. Roselli Manelli ignores her implied challenge, asking if that is the file he asked for. Returning the failure to respond to the question asked, she demands to know what qualifies him for this assignment.

Sara: 55:31

I love the fact that he's clearly in a supervisory position over her, and she's interrogating him. She has this lady has some balls on her, and I appreciate it because she's not taking his crap. She's not believing the line she's being fed. She's actually

Eric: 55:48

She knows it's a lie.

Sara: 55:49

Like, she knows it's bull, and she's she's yeah. She she doesn't care if she gets fired. She's like, what? You're what qualifies you?

Eric: 55:57

Well, she's a government employee. It's almost impossible to fire her. The best they could do is just, you know, move her to a a Yeah. You know, desk out in the back 40 somewhere. Well, Roselli says he got friendly with Steele and Laura Holt in Mexico, and at least he finally answered 1 of her questions. He explains that they think he's an archaeologist, so they won't be suspicious. Finally, Estelle demands, who are you?

Sara: 56:23

Gladys. Gladys demands. You said Estelle.

Eric: 56:36

You know, I'm looking down at my notes. Got a Stella Stella Stella

Sara: 56:40

Stella Stella. Oh, no.

Eric: 56:45

Finally, Gladys demands, who are you? And in a smart alecky tone, phony Tony says that until Washington says different, he's her boss. Well, arms crossed, she informs him that she did some checking on him. Flippantly, he asks if she is always interested in her coworkers. She is when they pop him out of nowhere, and that's exactly where he came from since there's no record of him being with immigration. He makes the excuse that he's been in Latin America for the past few years and

Sara: 57:13

Which is no excuse at ever because why would he if he's working for the US Immigration and Naturalization Service, why would he be in Latin? Is there an office there? Do they I I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. But is

Eric: 57:24

there They might have an office there. I mean, that maybe tied to a consulate.

Sara: 57:33

Yeah. Was gonna say the consulate. I could see the consulate, but other than that, it would Yeah.

Eric: 57:37

But I mean, if if if they're on diplomatic terms with the country they have immigration from that country, I would think you'd want to have somebody who's an expert in immigration at the consulate. But, anyway, he makes the excuse that his records probably haven't been haven't probably haven't caught up with him. And she leans over his desk, not buying his story in cash. She's like, why not? Haven't you heard of computers? Instant access? Exactly. I mean, I hate it when customer service people tell me that it takes a few days to process something.

Sara: 58:10

It shouldn't.

Eric: 58:11

Yeah. I mean, they can put it into a computer that's connected to the Internet. They can give instant access to anyone on the Internet. And to me, this is especially egregious when it it's a financial institution.

Sara: 58:24

Yes. And

Eric: 58:25

they delay crediting they delay crediting your account for a payment Yep. Or a deposit that you've made on time. Yep. But they delay the recording of it and then try to make you pay a late fee because, well, it wasn't processed until 3 days after the pay you know, pay due date.

Sara: 58:42

Screw you. I I have and and then we also have on our, you know, our banking apps. This is when it was deposited, and they're still like, oh, yeah. But it wasn't processed until then, so it doesn't count.

Eric: 58:53

That's why I won't won't make deposits at an ATM.

Sara: 58:56

No. I won't either. No.

Eric: 58:57

Because it it takes a day or 2 before it hits your account. And in the meantime and and, you know, like, especially credit unions, credit for all the love credit unions get, they have this little sleazy way that they do things because and banks unfortunately have adopted it as well. Let's say you've got a $100 in your account, and let's say you have an automatic payment that's due, and you have it scheduled for, like, the 15th of the month. Well, a lot of companies will do a pre authorization a day or 2 before that.

Sara: 59:36

Yeah.

Eric: 59:37

So let's say that the payment is gonna be a $150. You're gonna have the money in there before the payment hits, but that preauthorization comes through before you get that extra money in there to cover it. Now you are in a negative balance. No. I'm not. I've got 5th a $100 in the account. Well, but you have a preauthorization against it's a preauthorization. That's not the transaction. And if it came in 2 days before the transaction and I get the money in a day before, how was I overdrawn? No. You were overdrawn. You had a negative available balance.

Sara: 1:00:15

It's ridiculous.

Eric: 1:00:18

But yeah. And yeah. And I there was a company in the past that we had a a card with, and I won't mention Sears, where they they literally did delay the processing of the payment that we made and charged us a late fee even though they admitted, yeah, your payment came in on time, but we didn't process it until such and such a date. So

Sara: 1:00:45

And if you take them to any sort of small claims or what have you, it would take far more money and resources than it's worth, so you just have to suck it up

Eric: 1:00:52

and pay

Sara: 1:00:53

them their money.

Eric: 1:00:53

Yeah. Lost wages because you had to take time off from work, yada yada yada. Yeah. Really hate it. Really hate it. Anyway, where were we? Yes. We were complaining about the banking system and people. And anyway, Roselli finally realizes that he's being an obnoxious jerk, and that's not working with Gladys. I corrected myself on the fly there. I had it as Estelle. I corrected it on the fly. I'm so good.

Sara: 1:01:16

There you go. We're getting there.

Eric: 1:01:18

So he tries the let's just get along approach, telling her that if she's worried about him hogging the spotlight, don't. All he wants to do is prove Steele's marriage is phony. Help him, and she can take all the bows. She shakes her head and begins stomping out saying that there's something going on here she doesn't understand. At the door, she pauses, turns around leaning against the door and warns, but that doesn't mean I won't before it's over. She opens the door and begins to leave, but Roselli calls out after her saying, fight me on this, and you'll be stamping passports in Palmdale. What's the big deal about Palmdale?

Sara: 1:01:54

And what makes

Eric: 1:01:54

stamping passports in Palmdale a threat? I mean, according

Sara: 1:01:58

more of the stamping passports element of it, but, yeah, I don't I don't know. Hey.

Eric: 1:02:02

If you're getting the same money, what does it matter? And as far as Palmdale, according to the official Palmdale California website, Palmdale is a thriving family oriented community that offers comfortable hometown feel along with a convenience of a growing metropolitan population. I'm household It

Sara: 1:02:22

just sounded like you were advertising, like, come move to Palmdale. I'm sold. I'm going to Palmdale.

Eric: 1:02:27

With an average household income of 106,000 to $55 in 2025, Palmdale residents enjoy an exceptional quality of life supported by excellent schools, abundant recreational opportunities, affordable housing, and a safe environment, offering residents over 300 days a year of smog free blue sky and opportunities of a thriving community. 6 Flags Magic Mountain is just 45 minutes away. Sounds pretty great. Less than an hour. Disneyland, Nutsberry Farm, and the beach are only 90 minutes away.

Sara: 1:03:01

Yeah. That sounds pretty great to me.

Eric: 1:03:02

Sounds like a good deal to me. I you want me to stamp passports all day? Fine. I'm getting my big old paycheck, government pension. I'm man, I'm just

Sara: 1:03:13

I'm not having to work. I just wanted to go back down that rabbit hole for a 2nd because mentioning the the small claims court or being pointless when it comes to the bank Mhmm. Reminded me of that movie Liar Liar. Did you ever see it?

Eric: 1:03:26

No. I did not. I'm I'm not a Jim Carrey fan.

Sara: 1:03:29

Normally, I'm not a huge 1 either. This 1, I I quite like it because it's not as exaggerated as some of his other roles, but there is 1 scene where he his car is towed, I think, for parking wrong or something. And when he he gets there, you know, the premise is that he can't lie. Right?

Eric: 1:03:46

Yeah. Gets some sort of magic spell.

Sara: 1:03:49

Yeah. So he accuses the tow yard employee of scratching his car, and the he points the guy says, where? He points to it, and he says, right there. And the tow yard guy says, oh, well, that was already there. And he says, you liar. You know what I'm gonna do about this? And the employee says, what? And he says, nothing. Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain our 8 hours out of my life, and you probably won't show up. But if I finally got the judgment, you'd just stiff me anyway. So what I'm gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe, and then the employee's like, you've been here before, haven't you? It just made me think of that where he's like, I'm gonna do nothing.

Eric: 1:04:24

The cabber on that is you've been here before. Exactly. Like, yep. That's

Sara: 1:04:28

you got it.

Eric: 1:04:30

That's the way we roll. Yeah.

Sara: 1:04:32

Yep. Anyway, there's the banks for you. You've been here before, haven't you?

Eric: 1:04:36

Well, after his threat, Gladys turns and walks out and roughly closes the door. And to the closed door, Roselli smilingly says, have a nice day. And then,

Sara: 1:04:48

of course, smarmy.

Eric: 1:04:50

Yeah. Of course, then his smile turns to a frown because he's realizing that Gladys is not somebody that's going to just roll over and accept what he says.

Sara: 1:04:58

He can't push her around. He can't charm her. He's he's act she's actually not buying Competent. That she's selling.

Eric: 1:05:05

She's a government employee. 1 of

Sara: 1:05:08

the few good she's like Mildred, 1 of the few good, you know, employees that are good at their job, which is why she really doesn't belong there, to be honest. Yeah.

Eric: 1:05:17

Well, next, we're at Steele's apartment, and we see that the dining table is set for the upcoming dinner party. He grabs his jacket from the back of a chair and begins to put it on when the door buzzer sounds. He walks to the door doing a breath check as he does and then opens the door to find the woman from London who declared that she would soon be missus Remington Steele. She walks in, drapes her arms around him, and then plants a huge kiss on him. After a moment, Steele pushes her away, calling her Shannon. She says that she was in the neighborhood and thought she'd pop around.

Sara: 1:05:50

I can't

Eric: 1:05:50

She walked

Sara: 1:05:51

Imagine that being Felicia.

Eric: 1:05:53

Yes.

Sara: 1:05:55

Such a missed opportunity.

Eric: 1:05:57

But, you know, and I can I can hear Felicia's or can hear

Sara: 1:06:03

every single line of dialogue in And when her

Eric: 1:06:07

I hear her say it in my head, it's I don't know how to describe it? It's it's more of a purr Yes. With with a growl contained inside. Whereas Yeah. With with Shannon, it's, uh-oh. I'm in her head. Yeah.

Sara: 1:06:28

And again, for the fans, the 2nd this happened, we're like we'd be like, oh, no. It is on. Like, this is gonna be a problem. Whereas with this woman who we've never seen before and don't know anything about, it's just like, oh, come on. Like, the fact that he doesn't just boot her out the door Mhmm. Like, with with with Felicia, you could almost understand it. She shows up out of nowhere. He's he's always had this kind of like, he's not in love with Felicia, but he he's tied to her and in a in a way, and he feels like an obligation to help her a lot of the time. And Yeah. The the next line where he says, the last time I saw you were in Hong Kong, he could have said, the last time I saw you was in London. And that would have reminded the viewers, oh, yeah. Okay. We know who this woman is. It's just it would have been so fun to

Eric: 1:07:18

see Yeah. If we should be this Well, she walks into the living room as if she owned the place or at least as if she'd been invited in and begins shedding her skin. Steele is dazed and confused. The last time he saw her was in Hong Kong, and that was 5 years ago. Well, she drops her coat on the couch and spins and asks if he isn't glad to see her. And he says he's beside himself with joy, he says, and it's very uncomfortable. And he glances at his watch adding that, unfortunately, I'm expecting guests. She wriggles her way back to him complaining, I missed you so much, Douglas. And she again wraps her arms around him and smothers him with her kisses. And suddenly, the door buzzer sounds. Steele panics. The bedroom, he says. Oh, I love it when you take charge.

Sara: 1:08:15

Okay. Again, I'm gonna stop beating the dead horse, maybe, but this makes no sense with Shannon because, like, at this point, is he really gonna hide another woman in the bedroom and hope that Laura's not gonna see? Or why not just open the door and say, Laura, this is this is Shannon Wayne. She just showed up and now she's leaving and shove her out the door and explain, I don't know why she's here. She's she's, you know, I'm not letting her stay here. Like, there's no reason not to just be honest about this, but if it were Felicia Mhmm. That 1 I would be you know, you can see why he

Eric: 1:08:52

wanted You wouldn't want Felicia and Laura colliding.

Sara: 1:08:56

Sparring around, especially around immigration and everything else that's happening. Like, I could see him wanting to hide Felicia, but this this woman here

Eric: 1:09:04

Yeah. Just that would be

Sara: 1:09:05

like Explain it.

Eric: 1:09:06

Laura and Felicia would be like 2 chunks of plutonium colliding into each other inside the casing of an atomic bomb.

Sara: 1:09:12

Not gonna go well. Yeah. Yeah. You just open the door and say, Laura, this is Shannon Wayne. She and I used to know each other. She just showed up. I swear I didn't know she was coming, and now she's leaving. Goodbye, and push her out the door.

Eric: 1:09:24

Yep.

Sara: 1:09:24

But he doesn't. Instead, he does this nonsense where he's trying to hide her in the bedroom. It just Yeah. Feels so ridiculous.

Eric: 1:09:31

Yeah.

Sara: 1:09:31

It it's it definitely feels throughout the entire 2 episodes that this woman was supposed to be someone else, and that's why it doesn't work.

Eric: 1:09:39

Mhmm. Yeah. They they they had to rewrite it for a different actress, and

Sara: 1:09:44

Yeah. And again, no shade to you.

Eric: 1:09:47

They tried to keep Felicia.

Sara: 1:09:50

Yeah.

Eric: 1:09:50

Basic basically, they tried to recast Felicia with a different name.

Sara: 1:09:54

Exactly. And it doesn't work because Mhmm. Sara Douglas is her own person as an actor. She has her own quirks and and whatnot. And if you had just tried a different like, we've seen these femme fatales show up. We saw it with Anna, who was also Cassandra Harris. We've seen it. Give us something different or don't. But Mhmm. If you can't get Felicia, don't give us T Moo Felicia or Dollar Store Felicia. We don't you know, we're not interested in that.

Eric: 1:10:19

It's it's You know, Cassie would have played this in a much more subtle way,

Sara: 1:10:26

I think. Yeah. She really would've and she would've emphasized the parts that would've deliberately gotten under Laura's skin Mhmm. And she would've, like, managed to undermine Steele in a way, but also get her hooks into him even though he's not in love with her, he would have felt like, it it would have felt logical with Felicia, but it doesn't feel logical with Shannon because, again, he could he could just and should have just kicked her out. It makes no sense. It kinda demeans his character that he chooses to hide her instead of just being open with Laura and saying, hey. I don't know why she's here, but she's leaving. Yeah. Bye. So

Eric: 1:11:01

Well, she says, oh, I love it when you take charge. And he grabs her and begins pulling her toward the bedroom, telling her that she can't be found here, not tonight. And she's if I'm as quiet as a mess, do I get a reward? A big reward, she asks. Steele shoves her into the room and closes the door. He calls out to the person at the front door that he's coming. He hurries over to answer it, but as he passes the couch, he realizes that Shannon's coat is there. So he grabs it, shoves it under the couch, and then heads back to the front door, remembering to pause just long enough to wipe Shannon's lipstick from his and wave away the scent of her perfume or try to anyway. He opens the door to find Laura standing there, a load of clothes on hangers hanging over her shoulder, and a suitcase piled with more clothes on the floor behind her. She is annoyed, wondering what took him so long to answer the door.

Sara: 1:11:55

But she looks great in that outfit.

Eric: 1:11:58

Well and I know you said you don't particularly like the bangs on Laura slash Stephanie at this point. So how do you feel about her hair here? I mean, they they've kind there's Yeah. They're still kind of the bangs, but they've kind of styled them down.

Sara: 1:12:10

They've styled them down a bit. I don't like I said, I don't love the bangs. It's not necessarily that I hate them. It's just it feels and I get it. They're trying to make her look more domestic. So they've given her these bangs, which gives her more of like a housewife y type look. So Yeah.

Eric: 1:12:26

It kinda makes sense, but

Sara: 1:12:27

I I'm not a I'm not a big I like the outfit, though. That white dress that she's wearing. She looks amazing. Again, Steele, tell her here. This is where you should have said. He says you can't be found tonight. I he sure. By immigration, but this is where he should have said to Laura, there is a woman who just showed up from my past. She is in the bedroom right now. We need to get her out before Gladys Lynch shows up. If he pulls her in Yes. Instead of trying to hide it from her, then she's not gonna get pissed off. I'm not gonna excuse what she does later because that's Mhmm. It's even worse. But, like, right now, dude, this is the point. Have you learned nothing? This is where you say

Eric: 1:13:05

Apparently not.

Sara: 1:13:06

We've got a problem. This woman just showed up. I didn't ask her to, but we need to get her out. Help me out, please. And Laura would've. Yeah. Instead, he does what he always does. Well,

Eric: 1:13:19

at her questioning about him taking so long to answer the door, he stumbles for an excuse and finally settles on, he had to put the duck into the oven. Isn't it a little late to be starting dinner? She questions. Instant duck, he excuses. It comes in a pouch.

Sara: 1:13:34

It comes in a pouch? I know I'm no culinary artist, but I'm gonna guess it doesn't. No.

Eric: 1:13:45

Of course, you know maybe he should've gone with a turducken. I don't know. I've always wanted to try that.

Sara: 1:13:54

I've kind of wanted to try it too, but I'm a little scared.

Eric: 1:13:56

I've I've seen places online where you can buy a turducken and have it shipped to you. Yeah. But they're kind of spendy, and I'm not sure I'd want to try it on my own. Anyway

Sara: 1:14:08

Well, and if it's terrible, then you've spent all this money and you've got

Eric: 1:14:10

That's true.

Sara: 1:14:11

All this

Eric: 1:14:12

Well, eyeing him suspiciously, Laura says she'll take her clothes away. And panicking she'll she'll put her clothes away. Why did I say take her clothes away? No. She'll put her clothes away. Panicking, Steele says, no. No. No. He'll take care of those. She should open the champagne. Yeah. That's it. She should open the champagne. And when Laura questions if he can really handle it, he assures her that it's child's play, but he struggles to get them to the bedroom door. And then at the bedroom door, he struggles to get the door open while simultaneously holding on to everything. And of course, once he gets inside the room, Steele kicks the door shut. Shannon follows as he struggles to carry the load to the closet, then asks if he doesn't wonder where she's been, how she's been, how she got there.

Sara: 1:14:58

Again, none of us care because we don't know her.

Eric: 1:15:02

He hollers no at Shannon loud enough that Laura hears and calls out, asking if he needs any help. Then he hollers no at Laura. Then concerned that the obvious panic in his voice might be causing her to come into the room anyway, repeats himself more calmly. Well, Shannon begins her story. It started in Paris, I remember. It was raining.

Sara: 1:15:24

It

Eric: 1:15:24

always rains in Paris in the spring, and for some reason, I keep every time I hear that, I think she's quoting from a a movie or a song.

Sara: 1:15:32

It does. It sounds like if this is 1 if this is Tuesday, it must be Belgium. Bring time. If this is London, it must be raining. It's like a it's a it's an old movie.

Eric: 1:15:45

I I know that I've I've seen the movie before. It's been a long time. Yeah. It just seems like, yeah, it just seems like it's it's she's quoting something here, but I couldn't find it, a reference

Sara: 1:15:55

to it. No. I couldn't find it either, but that's what it reminded me of. It reminded me of if this is Tuesday, it must be Belgium because the song is not Paris. If this is London, why isn't it raining or whatever. Mhmm. But, yeah, you're right. Does kinda sound like an old movie, like a a noir of some sort. It's always raining in Paris in the spring.

Eric: 1:16:13

But at the very least, it sounds like she stole it from something because Yeah. Yeah. I've got the feeling that quoting somebody's truthful words would be about the only truth come out of her mouth if she, you know

Sara: 1:16:23

Yep. Probably.

Eric: 1:16:25

But Steele grabs her and tells her that to save that thought and then shoves her into the closet, slams the door shut, catching his fingers in the process. Laura opens the bedroom door catching Steele by surprise, so he quickly goes into his innocent act saying, there. You see? I'll tidied up. And Laura questions how he managed to fit everything in and begins to move toward the closet to inspect, But Steele intercepts her, grabs her, and swings her around to face away from the closet, telling her, let's not talk about shelf space at a time like this, and then proceeds to kiss her vigorously, though not very gracefully or sensuously.

Sara: 1:17:01

And and and I'm sorry. What is he what is he thinking is gonna happen here? They're gonna do it with Shannon in the closet or is that the plan?

Eric: 1:17:09

It must be.

Sara: 1:17:10

Is that your is that your kink still? Because no thanks.

Eric: 1:17:16

Well, Shannon slides the closet door open enough to poke her head out and observe, and apparently, she likes to watch. Laura pulled back confounded. What's gotten into you? She asks suspiciously. Steele kisses her again, then throws her on the bed and lands on top of her and begins kissing her again. And out of the corner of his eye, he's watching the closet to keep an eye on Shannon just in case. And Shannon, realizing that Steele is watching, blows him a kiss. Continuing to try his distraction technique, Steele asks if she's forgotten Mexico. Let the chips fall where they may. Up periscope?

Sara: 1:17:50

Periscope.

Eric: 1:17:51

Steele begins kissing her again, but what

Sara: 1:17:53

shirt that just says up periscope. That that's what we need. We need an up periscope shirt. Nobody will get it.

Eric: 1:17:59

That's question mark?

Sara: 1:18:01

Yeah. With a question mark.

Eric: 1:18:04

Steele begins kissing her again, but Laura resists, managing to roll over so that she is now on top of him. What about Gladys Lynch? She asks.

Sara: 1:18:12

Good question. Good question,

Eric: 1:18:13

Laura. Steele's got an answer. Question. Steele reminds me that she said she wanted proof.

Sara: 1:18:19

I don't think that's the kind she meant. Like, come on. He's this is he's painting himself into a corner he can't get out of because say Laura says, yes, let's and she does sort of start to agree here.

Eric: 1:18:30

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:18:32

Okay. Immigration is showing up. So

Eric: 1:18:37

Yeah. And and you've you've got somebody in the closet.

Sara: 1:18:40

Yeah. Like, this is dumb.

Eric: 1:18:45

Well, he begins kissing her again, then reverses her position, rolling her back onto her back and getting back on top of her. And Laura, of course, continues to resist, once again reversing their positions and says, I don't think this is the proof she had in mind. Steele yet again reverses their positions, and he glances back toward the closet, and Shannon gives him a wave. Let's live dangerously, he suggests.

Sara: 1:19:09

Like, it's clear that Shannon's not leaving. So this little ploy is not he he obviously started this as an attempt to distract Laura so Shannon can sneak out. Shannon's not going anywhere. She's got popcorn, and she's ready for the film.

Eric: 1:19:21

That's right.

Sara: 1:19:22

So he needs another tactic.

Eric: 1:19:26

Well, let's live dangerously, he suggests, then begins kissing her again. After a moment, Laura begins to let her resistance down and then says, well, why not? And of course, in my notes, I have it here. If we follow the sequence and logic of their conversation, it seems to me that Laura just agreed to give Gladys Lynch a show.

Sara: 1:19:48

A little a little pay per view, so to speak.

Eric: 1:19:52

And and Steele got her to agree to give Shannon a show.

Sara: 1:19:56

Yeah. We're getting weird here. I mean, we're getting weird. Next is key parties and and all kinds of weird.

Eric: 1:20:05

This is definitely not 1 of the more family friendly episodes. No. Well, Laura begins to be get more passionate, but inner passion manages to roll them off the bed. Then the buzzer sounds. Steele looks up and says, company.

Sara: 1:20:23

Company. It's like somebody flicked the switch, and he's just like, oh, someone's here. Gotta go.

Eric: 1:20:28

It it it's like he's 1 of those little prairie dogs.

Sara: 1:20:30

He just pops up out of the ground looks around. He

Eric: 1:20:37

gets him off the floor and pulls Laura up and then they go out of the bedroom. And she says, wait, what happened to your periscope? She wants to know if Steele begins pulling her toward the front door. It's retractable excuses.

Sara: 1:20:49

Okay. 1st of all, did she expect him to ignore the door and just get down to business? Not? And the it's retractable, 2 T shirts. 1 says, up Periscope. The other says, it's retractable.

Eric: 1:21:06

Well, apparently, his Periscope hadn't been raised to its fully operational position. It could be retracted that quickly. I'm just

Sara: 1:21:12

saying side by side shots. 1 of us wearing you're wearing a Periscope I've got is retractable. Come on. That would be would be funny.

Eric: 1:21:25

Well, just before they get to the door, Laura stops him and they quickly fix their clothes. Though I would

Sara: 1:21:30

think leaving their clothing rumpled would be helpful.

Eric: 1:21:33

Wouldn't it be more toward their purpose of convincing Gladys Lynch if they came to the door disheveled as if

Sara: 1:21:39

they interrupted you? And then, like, buttoning up buttons or something like, sorry, you got us a little of something.

Eric: 1:21:46

Yes. It's it's the little details that

Sara: 1:21:48

make Yeah. Exactly.

Eric: 1:21:50

Well, after they straighten themselves and paste on their smiles, Steele opens the door. Gladys Lynch is standing, arms crossed, and clearly not happy to be there No. Or maybe just not happy, period.

Sara: 1:22:01

Yeah. I don't think she's she's she's like the female Keys. I don't think she's been happy a day in her life. I don't think she'd know what to do with happy if someone handed it to her.

Eric: 1:22:09

She's only happy when she's unhappy.

Sara: 1:22:11

Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah.

Eric: 1:22:13

Yeah. I've known I've been related to people like that. Anyway, Steele reaches out to shake her hand.

Sara: 1:22:20

I've worked with people like that.

Eric: 1:22:22

Steele reaches out to shake her hand then introduces himself and his wife, Laura Holt.

Sara: 1:22:27

Steele?

Eric: 1:22:28

Steele. Holt Steele.

Sara: 1:22:29

Holt Steele.

Eric: 1:22:30

Laura Holt Steele. Invite miss Lynch in, but she enters with her arms remaining crossed Yeah. Which seems to be a continuity error because in the previous shot, the shot over her shoulder and onto Steele and Laura, her body movement seems to indicate that she shook Steele's hand. But this shot of her from inside seems to suggest that she never uncrossed her arms.

Sara: 1:22:57

So Yeah.

Eric: 1:22:58

Which is

Sara: 1:22:58

her right. It is weird. It is weird.

Eric: 1:23:00

Anyway, once they moved into the living room, Steele offers to take her wrap and Laura inquires, whatever happened to Estelle Becker? She was such a booster of our marriage. And in a hostile tone, miss Lynch informs Laura that that is exactly what happened to Estelle Becker.

Sara: 1:23:16

Mean, they're supposed to remain impartial, and Estelle was not being impartial.

Eric: 1:23:20

No. So No. She was very much

Sara: 1:23:23

a chairman Gladys of is not being terribly impartial either on the other end of the spectrum.

Eric: 1:23:30

No. It's it's yeah. She's so she's so impartial that she's no longer impartial. Yes.

Sara: 1:23:35

Yeah.

Eric: 1:23:37

Her goal is to prove that their marriage is a fraud, not to find out the true status of it. So anyway Yeah. Exactly. In hostel to him, miss Lynch informs, oh, no. They've already been there, done that. Let's see. Steele puts his arm Steele moves over and puts his arm around Laura who's sitting on the arm of the couch, and Laura in turn puts her arm around Steele and leans into him, and then innocently asks, is there some sort of problem we don't know about? And Steele joins Laura in sitting on the arm of the couch as miss Lynch repeats, problem? And then sarcastically and rhetorically asks, just because a man named Norman Keyes died trying to prove that your marriage was a fraud? Can't imagine why that would raise any eyebrows.

Sara: 1:24:17

I gotta agree with her on that, to be honest. Yeah.

Eric: 1:24:21

Yeah. Steele stands, but remains at Laura's side. Then attempting an then attempting an unperturbed sincere tone, miss says, then attempting an unperturbed sincere tone says, miss Lynch, we understand that the immigration department has to scrutinize all marriages between US citizens and aliens, and we want you to know that we're willing to cooperate in every way we possibly can to clear up the slightest doubt. But unfortunately, he comes off as flippant and fake.

Sara: 1:24:53

Well and I don't think he's used to meeting a woman he couldn't charm in some way.

Eric: 1:24:58

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Sara: 1:24:59

Because even Laura even though she held out physically for this long, there is clear like, there's been give and take. He's always charming the secretary. He's charming the office workers, charming the people on the case. He flashes a smile as baby blues, and and they they do what he's asking them to, but Gladys is immune to his charms.

Eric: 1:25:19

Even when he and Laura are at odds, he can he can he can still soften her up a little bit. Maybe not all the way, but he can still soften her up.

Sara: 1:25:29

But Gladys is, like, the immovable object.

Eric: 1:25:32

Yes.

Sara: 1:25:33

Right? There's no softening her. And Estelle, I mean, he he managed to he managed to you have to, either Estelle was exceptionally stupid or he's that charming because you have to I vote

Eric: 1:25:45

for the former.

Sara: 1:25:47

I I think it's a I think it's a bit of both. I think it's a little column a and a column b because she saw he was about to marry 1 woman, and then suddenly he's marrying another on a fishing boat, and she and the 2 of them just look oh, well, she's especially come on. Yeah. So yeah. Charm goes a long way for him, and it's not going very far here.

Eric: 1:26:07

Yes. Because clearly, miss Lynch is not falling for it. Laura offers to give miss Lynch a tour of their happy home. She stands, takes her arm, and begins to walk her toward the bedroom, but still blocks her path suggesting that they start in the kitchen. Laura, sensing something is wrong, stiffly asks, the kitchen? Yes. Show miss Lynch your pots and pans, he insists. And to miss Lynch, he adds, she's so proud of her pots and pans causing Laura to do an eye roll. Or no. And if to do an eye roll.

Sara: 1:26:38

If he had told Laura about Shannon and Mhmm. Lynn, miss Lynch showed up too quickly for them to get rid of her, the 2 of them could have been working in tandem to make sure that Lynn miss Lynch didn't see her. But instead, Laura's like, what is he talking about? Okay. My pots and pans? Whatever.

Eric: 1:26:54

Yeah. You know, when when he doesn't tell her what's going on, but she's smart she's smart enough to figure out

Sara: 1:27:02

that something's going on.

Eric: 1:27:03

She winds up working in opposition to

Sara: 1:27:06

It get it the end result. Works against him. Exactly.

Eric: 1:27:09

Yeah. Anyway, as miss Lynch begins walking toward the kitchen, Laura hangs back intent on confronting Steele, but he shoes her off. Steele rushes into the bedroom and over to the closet where Shannon is sitting on the floor. He pulls her to her feet, a nightgown on a hanger hanging from the back of her dress, and she asks, where was I?

Sara: 1:27:31

There was a ping rained on.

Eric: 1:27:33

I I mean, it's it's like she she just all that time just disappeared and didn't exist.

Sara: 1:27:40

She's

Eric: 1:27:40

just continuing her story.

Sara: 1:27:42

This is Conchita again where you put this woman somewhere and she just stays there. I'm sorry, but most people would not be content to just be shoved into a closet and sit there twiddling their thumbs going, doo doo doo. He'll be bad. Yes. Well,

Eric: 1:27:55

you said, Steele reminds her in Paris being rained on, and he begins to move her toward the bedroom window while simultaneously trying to untangle the extraneous clothing from the back of her dress. And she continues, that's where I met him. I was foolish to think I could ever forget you, but what was I to do? Duck. He answers as he finishes shoving her out the window. Then you hear Laura say, what about the duck? As she leads miss Lynch into the bedroom. Straightening up, Steele innocently says, it's almost ready. Smiling at miss Lynch, Laura invites the woman to take a peek at this and then leads to the closet proudly intent on showing a closet filled with her clothes hanging alongside Steele's. But instead, she sees Steele's clothes hanging and hers dumped unceremoniously and very unneatly on the floor. Yep. She turns and gives Steele an accusing look. Steele, realizing that his goose goose is about to be cooked, starts sniffing the air and excuses that the duck is also cooked. Sure. Even burning and

Sara: 1:29:01

then rushes out of the room.

Eric: 1:29:04

Laura, trying to save the situation, disgustedly says, man, never let them unpack. Well, Steele leaves the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him, and then he heads to the kitchen, but she sees Shannon out on the balcony. She is blowing on the glass of the French doors, creating a fog on the window. And then she begins drawing a heart with an Is arrow through in the

Sara: 1:29:28

she 5? Who does this? Who she is that is a grown ass woman drawing a little heart

Eric: 1:29:34

on her. When you say that though, think about it. Think about her behavior throughout the entire episode. Yes. Mentally, she is 5. She's got the she's got the knowledge of an adult woman, but she's got the emotional intellect of a 5 year old.

Sara: 1:29:52

And again, if this was Felicia, this would have come across as taunting because she would have known that she would have known the situation. She would have known that he does not want her to be found, that Laura is there, and she would have been doing this deliberately. Shannon is coming across more innocent, like, oh, heart. I love you, Remington, or I love you, Douglas, or whatever it is.

Eric: 1:30:12

Yeah.

Sara: 1:30:12

That that whole 2nd element isn't there. But with Felicia drawing a little heart and like waving at him, oh, that would have been just it it would have been so perfect because she would know, okay, and she would clock really quickly if she was listening to what was going on outside, what was happening, and she'd know she'd have something over him that she could use against him in whatever scheme it is she's trying to draw him into. So it would have been perfect. But this little heart, like, you're that's childish. That's funny you're doing.

Eric: 1:30:43

Well, Steele rushes over, opens the door, and pulls her into the living room. He wipes Shannon's art from the glass and then tells her, it's time she knew it's time she knew he just returned. It's time she knew he's just returned from his honeymoon. I that's

Sara: 1:31:01

something Yeah. That's that's what he says. It's time

Eric: 1:31:04

Okay.

Sara: 1:31:04

Yeah. He's telling her that he's married. Right?

Eric: 1:31:08

Yeah. It's just that in my notes here, that sentence reads weird. Maybe because it it's a weird sentence in the script too.

Sara: 1:31:15

Yeah. It's weird.

Eric: 1:31:17

It's weird. Anyway, the fact that he's just returned from his honeymoon seems to titillate Shannon, pumping her up to per perfect. The wife's always the last to know. Frustrated, he responds that as much as he admires her respect for tradition, presumably the tradition of the wife being the last to know

Sara: 1:31:36

Yeah.

Eric: 1:31:36

It's a do. And as he's pulling her toward the front door, she pleads that she's flown 6,000 miles to throw herself at his feet. And looking her up and down, he tells her that he appreciates the gesture and that there's no 1 prettier prostate than she is. All they have was are their memories. Yes. Definitely many, many, many levels and layers of innuendo in this entire episode. Anyway, putting on an act as if accepting his judgment, she says, well, if that's the way he feels, then it really is a Jew. And Steele appreciatively tells her that that's what he's always liked about her. She's always been a good sport. He opens the door to send her on her way, but Mildred is on the other side.

Sara: 1:32:29

Again, dude, shove her into Mildred's arms. Mildred is the ultimate security guard when it comes to the 2 of them. She was getting in the way. She was you know, you you know what blocking Tony the entire way in Mexico.

Eric: 1:32:44

Yeah. Hand

Sara: 1:32:45

shove Shannon at Mildred and say, Mildred

Eric: 1:32:47

Get rid of her.

Sara: 1:32:48

Rid of her, and then explain it. I'll

Eric: 1:32:50

explain And it make sure the body's never found.

Sara: 1:32:52

Exactly. Mildred would do it. And then, obviously, Mildred would demand an explanation later on, but Shannon would be gone. Like, come on, man. You've got allies. Use them. Mhmm.

Eric: 1:33:02

Yes. Well, he opens the door to send yeah. Meldred's on the other side. Shannon is to the side of the door, so Meldred doesn't see her. Steele greets Meldred and asks or and she asks if she's late. Actually, she's early, Steele tells her. Shutting the door. Steele rushes Shannon to the kitchen directing her to hide behind the island, wait for a clear opportunity, and then run for the door. Well, if that's what will make him happy, she agrees, though she seems slightly confused. Ecstatic, he says through gritted teeth. Steele departs the kitchen for the front door. He opens it, grinning, and then tells Mildred that now she's on time.

Sara: 1:33:43

I'm sorry. That's not gonna look suspicious.

Eric: 1:33:45

Yeah. Really? And stunned, she silently holds up a stack of photos. Steele takes them, and then ushering her toward the bedroom, 1st tells Mildred, let's not keep miss Lynch waiting, and then far too loudly says, let's go to the bedroom. As he glances over his shoulder toward the kitchen, hoping Shannon gets the signal and the message. Steele and Mildred enter the bedroom in time to see Laura finishing hanging up the last of her clothes into the closet, and just in time to see the clothes rod break from the weight.

Sara: 1:34:15

To be fair, it probably would to add like, she probably should have added some to the other side. There was more than just that 1 closet, and she decided to put it all in that 1 rack. Yeah. But usually, when you've got a closet like that, you split it his and hers. Her Mhmm. Stuff goes here and his like, my husband and I actually you can't see it because it's behind the computer here, but we actually have 2 separate closets. 1 is his and 1 is mine. Mhmm. The apartment just came that way, which is great, but if it were 1 large closet, my stuff would go on 1 side and his would go on the other.

Eric: 1:34:45

You draw an imaginary line at about 25 or 30%, and the man gets 25%, and the woman gets 70%.

Sara: 1:34:52

Actually, our our closets are pretty evenly packed, although I will admit to stealing several of his sweaters.

Eric: 1:35:01

Let's see here. Where were we? Yes. Steele tells Laura not to worry about the poll. They'll get a new 1. Anything for his bride. A poll? Anything. Perhaps a poll suitable for dancing even. Yeah.

Sara: 1:35:13

It does. It just, like, got weirded out. She says that here, but, like, it really does sound like he's offering her a poll for other entertaining purposes.

Eric: 1:35:24

Steele Laura looks at Steele and gives him an uncertain, thank you, dear. Mildred cheerfully asks if anyone wants to see the honeymoon pictures, Pictures which magically teleported from Steele's hand as they entered the bedroom into Mildred's hand as they passed through the doorway into the bedroom.

Sara: 1:35:42

I have that in my notes. I'm like, wait. Wait a minute. It wasn't this doesn't make any sense.

Eric: 1:35:47

But we won't use the words continuity error. Yeah. Because we're not we're not being critical here.

Sara: 1:35:54

No. We're not being picky.

Eric: 1:35:56

Yes. Laura Laura says, yes. That's a good idea. And then snatches the pictures from Mildred and begins leading the group back into the living room, much to Steele's dismay, as he tries to suggest that the light is better here in the bedroom. Don't they think? And Laura laughingly tells miss Lynch that they took so many, they wouldn't want to bore her with them all.

Sara: 1:36:18

So she brought 1.

Eric: 1:36:22

And miss Lynch takes the stack of photos from Laura's hand and starts to look at him, but Laura snatches the stack back and hands miss Lynch a single photo. Yeah. But as miss Lynch begins to look at the photo, Laura is looking curiously at Steele as he jumps off into the kitchen. Once into the kitchen, he looks around for Shannon, but he doesn't see What's here?

Sara: 1:36:43

What's funny about that is how he jumps over the couch. He doesn't even like he it the physical calm as silly as this a lot of these this scenario is, and it is silly Mhmm. He's still Brosnan and and Stephanie are still doing a fantastic job of that physical comedy, that slapstick element. It Mhmm. It's unfortunate that it in season 5, it doesn't work as well because this would have been hilarious in season 1. Mhmm. But, yeah, there's still moments that are pretty pretty funny. This is good.

Eric: 1:37:18

Let's see where Jose oh, yes. He doesn't see her. He stage whispers her name, but getting no response, grins and heads back out into the living room, grabbing a bottle of champagne on his way as he does to provide the excuse for his action. And with an over the top enthusiasm, Steele declares that this happy gathering calls for champagne. And then just then, the sound of breaking glass comes from the bedroom. Miss Lynch demands to know what that sound was. Awkwardly, Steele says, neighbors, walls are paper thin. The women rushed to the bedroom, Steele following, to find a broken vase on the floor and Shannon on the bed, legs tucked underneath her, wearing lingerie. Climsy me, she said socilessly.

Sara: 1:38:03

So this is where it feels weird because up until this point, Shannon has come across as not very bright, childish

Eric: 1:38:12

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:38:13

Not manipulative in the sense of, like, deliberately trying to sabotage him, but you know what mean? There's some inconsistencies here. This Well, I mean, you

Eric: 1:38:25

you you saw it you saw the wheels turning in her head.

Sara: 1:38:30

Sure. Sure. I'm just saying that this part here, it's deliberate. It's like, oh, clumsy me. I'm in a teddy. I'm I'm on the bed. It just it feels like her character kinda goes back and forth between these these extremes. And again, because it's not written for her. Mhmm. This is not written for her. This is written this is a different character that's being written because you can definitely see them walking in and and Felicia on the bed going, oops. Clumsy me. And, like, that being the big reveal, and everybody going, oh, no. And and Laura would and and this Laura's reaction here Mhmm. To Shannon. And what she ends up doing in a minute, which we'll get to, makes more sense if it's Felicia. It doesn't make as much sense if it's shit. Like, yeah. Okay. There's a woman in a in a night come on. You know him well enough at this point to know that he hasn't just run off and found another woman.

Eric: 1:39:27

Yeah. So random basically random 1.

Sara: 1:39:31

Yeah. It's just a random like, she should know that much. And, yeah, she still has a right to be mad because he's kept something from her. He's hiding it. He's whatever. But, like, jealousy doesn't really work here for Shannon. It would work for Felicia, though, because she really, really hates her.

Eric: 1:39:50

Well, miss Lynch demands to know where did she come from. Well, Steele and Laura respond almost simultaneously with Steele saying Paris, and Laura said And to the Mildred is confused. She came from a bath Laura saying the bathroom. Yeah. And Mildred is confused saying she came from a bathroom in Paris. No. She just flew in from Paris, she was freshening up in the bathroom, Steele tries to explain. And, of course, miss Lynch gives him a very disbelieving look. Yeah. I see, she says. Then she says she's got a biggie for them. Who is she? And Laura jumps in before Steele has a chance to respond saying that she's mister Steele's sister. And Laura steps over to the bed, and Shannon asks if she could trouble Laura for a glass of brandy. After all, traveling can be so unsettling.

Sara: 1:40:40

And kudos for Laura for because they have they both have an English accent, so that would fit. The only weirdness here is that she's in what's clearly lingerie Mhmm. In his bed. I I I don't know about you, but when your sister comes to visit, if you have 1, I don't know. You know? I don't typically

Eric: 1:40:59

sleep in lingerie in my bed.

Sara: 1:41:00

Yeah. I don't yeah. That's that's

Eric: 1:41:02

Well, it gets worse from here. It gets worse from here.

Sara: 1:41:04

It definitely gets worse. The sister thing would've don't know what but I don't know what else Laura could have said. Yes. Because there's a there's 0.5 naked woman on his bed. Mhmm. Unless it's a relative, we have to assume that something else is going on. And but, unfortunately, Laura Laura torpedoes that in a minute Mhmm. With her

Eric: 1:41:24

own actions. Torpedoes a whole lot of stuff.

Sara: 1:41:26

It just I'm gonna get real mad, but yeah.

Eric: 1:41:30

Anyway, Laura shoves Shannon back onto the bed with her legs still bent underneath her heels.

Sara: 1:41:36

She's got a in this weird angle.

Eric: 1:41:38

I mean, kudos to Sara Douglas because, I mean, that takes some limber legs to be able to just basically lay back with your legs at 180 degree.

Sara: 1:41:50

Hypermobile. And I I could I could have done the same thing as a kid. I I sat in the weirdest positions, and people were always like, doesn't that hurt? And I'm like, no. My legs just bend this way. I went into my daughter's bedroom earlier today, and she was laying on the bed on her stomach, and she had her her leg back, but it was twisted back this way. And I'm like, dude, are you gonna join Cirque du Soleil? What's going on here? Put your like like, come on. That's not normal. I remembered I used to be able to do the same thing, so maybe she's hypermobile.

Eric: 1:42:22

Oh. Well, yes. Laura shoved Shannon backward onto the bed, legs still bent back underneath herself saying, now now, sister Steele, I'm sure rest is the very best thing for you. And Laura pulls the covers up over Shannon, pats her stomach, and then jogs back to the other saying that she's sure that sister Steele will join them after she's up to it. Laura and Steele push Mildred and miss Lynch from the room and then close the door. Steele glares at Shannon and then turns to Laura, and with a pat on the arm and an over overly solicitous grin, compliments her on her quick thinking.

Sara: 1:42:55

Yeah.

Eric: 1:42:55

Laura pats him back, tells him thank you, and then demands to know who is she. Oh. Steele seems embarrassed at his lapse of manners and apologizes for it and says, Shannon Wayne, may I introduce my wife, Laura Holt? Steele. Holt. Laura Holt Steele. And the more Steele tries to get the name right, the more frustrated he gets, and Laura finally gives a large eye roll at his ineptness. Shannon sits up, holding out her hand, says, charmed, I'm sure. Yeah. Laura, standing arms crossed, hard look in her eyes, doesn't respond. Steele continues, trying to explain that he and Shannon are old, old, old friends. Old friends can be such a comfort, Laura says snidely.

Sara: 1:43:42

Laura Obviously, had to rewrite that scene for Shannon, but Mhmm. Can you what is she what is she doing here?

Eric: 1:43:50

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:43:50

Right? Oh, yes. And then I I just flew in to congratulate you on your marriage, darling. And then just the the the faux innocence and then just like, oh, it would have been so good.

Eric: 1:44:05

And I know you said Sara Douglas is a good actress. I haven't seen her in anything else, really. I've I've never actually watched Superman, but I gotta say Cassandra Harris could have pulled that off.

Sara: 1:44:17

Oh, shit. Yeah.

Eric: 1:44:17

Much But

Sara: 1:44:18

again, this this role wasn't intended for her, and this isn't really her forte in terms of, like, Yeah. The things I've seen her It doesn't really work as well.

Eric: 1:44:27

Well, Laura grabs Steele by the arm, turns Innermore around, and then leads him out of the bedroom, closing the door on Shannon. Outside the door, Steele quietly comments that Laura seems to be taking the situation in stride. Equally quietly, Laura tells him that it's very simple. They blow this marriage shroud and it's all over. They find me within an inch of my life. The agency goes into the dumpster. My hard work, my dreams, up in smoke. So as long as immigration thinks we're the happiest married couple in America, I don't care what you do, you miserable swine. Now smile, lamb chop.

Sara: 1:45:01

And, again, this she can't honestly think that he's involved with Shannon. I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous at this point for the 2 of them. Like, I can't

Eric: 1:45:12

It is, but

Sara: 1:45:15

But Felicia will get under her skin.

Eric: 1:45:17

She she least she she could at least very at the very least suspect that he's up to something.

Sara: 1:45:26

Oh, for sure. For sure.

Eric: 1:45:27

Absolutely. Necessarily romantically with Shannon, but something underhanded with Shannon.

Sara: 1:45:33

Yeah. But, like, she's walked in to find Felicia

Eric: 1:45:36

Yes.

Sara: 1:45:36

In his bed before when they remember in in Thou Shalt Not Steele. So this would be coming full circle. Would be horrifically triggering for her. I could see her just being, I don't care what you do. You miserable. Like, a smile lampshots stomps on his foot. Like, that's so It just makes sense. She would be her equilibrium would be all out of balance. She'd be all out of whack, she wouldn't know what to do, like, emotionally, where to put those feelings.

Eric: 1:46:01

I would love to have seen the script to see if the stomp on the foot was scripted or if that was I would in the moment

Sara: 1:46:06

thing that Stephanie did.

Eric: 1:46:09

Know, and then Steele went along with it because because he he just could. He limps

Sara: 1:46:15

over back to scrapbook to it. It's quite funny.

Eric: 1:46:21

Across the room, miss Lynch has a handful of photos in her hand and points out to Mildred that these are all the same photos.

Sara: 1:46:27

Because she has eyeballs. Yes. She's

Eric: 1:46:32

Well, hey, you know, some people can see something right in front of their face and they just they they won't believe it or they'll they'll ignore it because, you know, whatever. Anyway, Laura walks over and explains that they liked that 1 so much that they wanted to give it to all their friends. Well, Steele hobbles over, still in pain from Laura's footstopping, and suggests that Ms. Lynch take 1 from her scrapbook, and miss Lynch insists on seeing the rest. Mildred laughs saying, if you've seen 1, you've seen them all.

Sara: 1:47:00

Not really.

Eric: 1:47:01

Which well, that's no. It's quite literally true in this case.

Sara: 1:47:04

Well, true. Okay. But, I mean, this is why they should have taken some other pictures around LA.

Eric: 1:47:10

Yes. Well, the door buzzer sounds, and Laura eagerly runs to answer it. The newcomer is Roselli. Laura greets him What? In.

Sara: 1:47:20

She torpedoes her relation or her entire the entire scheme in 3, 2, 1.

Eric: 1:47:25

I'm I'm coming to that. Yeah. Laura greets him enthusiastically, shoving him back against the door and commencing to make out with him. A moment of enjoying the greeting, and while Laura's still kissing him, Roselle glances in at the audience of Steele, Mildred, and Ms. Lynch, all of whom are standing mouths agape What in

Sara: 1:47:46

the actual f? I've got in my notes so much for protecting your agency, Laura. You just gave him that whole little speech about how they have to believe you're the happiest married couple, and you don't wanna do anything to jeopardize your your agency. It's all gonna go up in smoke. And the 2nd I was what are you do I've

Eric: 1:48:06

I've got comments about it later on after 1 more development.

Sara: 1:48:09

She doesn't know okay. So she doesn't know that Tony is working for immigration, but that doesn't matter. The 2nd Gladys Lynch sees her making out with this random stranger. That's it. That's all. You're not going to be able to convince immigration that you're the happiest married couple in in America if you open the door and just start kissing a rando and then claim he's your brother?

Eric: 1:48:30

I'm getting there. I'm getting there. Let let let me get there, and I'll have my notes.

Sara: 1:48:34

Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

Eric: 1:48:37

Well, Laura finally comes up for air, turns and tells miss Lynch that she'd like to introduce her brother. And Roselli steps over to miss Lynch, holds out his hand for a shake, and of course, missus Lynch is too shocked to respond. Yeah. And after an awkward moment, Steele checkles and tells the woman that as she can see, they're just 1 big happy family and real close, Mildred says menacingly.

Sara: 1:49:00

Yeah.

Eric: 1:49:01

Laura wraps her arms around Tony saying that they better be And running miss Lynch demands to know where they're going. To the airport, she replies. Airport? Still asks with some concern. Didn't I tell you, dear? Mother's flying in for the weekend, but don't hold dinner. She could be circling up there for hours, she says Okay. Here's my note.

Sara: 1:49:23

What?

Eric: 1:49:25

Excuse me, Laura. You just got done telling Steele that you wanted to convince immigration that they're the happiest married couple in Then you turn around and practically do Roselli in front of everybody. And then you make it worse by telling the woman from immigration that the guy you were just making out with is your brother?

Sara: 1:49:44

Yeah. I'm yeah. No. No. No. I mean I just

Eric: 1:49:50

That's some family.

Sara: 1:49:51

Nobody on their right mind would buy any of this. You've literally just insured. Torpedoed. Yeah. Torpedoed the entire thing. This whole marriage charade, they're going to look into it, pick it apart. There's no way. I mean, obviously, we know that it ends up because of other circumstances. But if this were just legitimately without Tony being who he is and and what he's doing. If this were just Gladys Lynch's call

Eric: 1:50:18

Mhmm.

Sara: 1:50:19

She'd stamp this as phony and go home and have tea. There's no

Eric: 1:50:23

way you're gonna be done.

Sara: 1:50:24

Yeah. You've ruined it. You've ruined it. Steele screwed it up with with Shannon, obviously. Mhmm. She covered for it as best as she could, and then turned around and proceeded to burn it all down. Yeah. Because why? Because she's mad at him? Yeah. What is

Eric: 1:50:44

I mean, they got Steele doing his sister. They got Laura doing her brother.

Sara: 1:50:49

Doing her brother. And I'm it's just, like, it's so frustrating because up until this point, it's it's me going, Steele, what are you doing? Steele, what are you doing? Steele, talk to her. Steele. Bring her into this. Steele, tell Mildred, you're screwing up Steele. And then she just says, hold my beer, and screws it up 5 times even more because she's mad at him. Literally, this was just out She of was pissed off that this and again, I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't even give her a pass if it were Felicia, but you could almost understand the the range of emotions with regards to Felicia a little bit more. But this is a random woman she's never seen. She doesn't know why she's there. She doesn't know what's happening. Steele says she just showed up. I can't this makes no sense to get this angry and to screw up everything you've worked for just to just to piss him off because that's what it was for. She kissed him in front of Steele just to show him that she was mad and that she could, and that it was like, come on. Like Yeah. You're you're shooting yourself as well as, like,

Eric: 1:51:56

that's ridiculous. Phrase, cut your nose off to spite your face.

Sara: 1:52:00

It's exactly what she did. And Mhmm. It it doesn't like, you lose all sympathy for her at this point because you're just going, come on, lady. Like, he op why did he showed up anyway is beyond me. I don't Mhmm. If he's trying to stay undercover as as an immigration agent, and he's and they think he's an archaeologist, glad how how did he know Gladys Lynch wouldn't have blown his cover the 2nd she opened the door?

Eric: 1:52:24

Yeah.

Sara: 1:52:26

Well, mean, he might not have known Gladys Lynch was there. Maybe he didn't know they invited her for a dinner party, but that was extremely risky and stupid of Tony to even show up. We never really know why he did. We just No. Know that Laura did what she did. Anyway,

Eric: 1:52:39

after Laura and Tony leave, Mildred sympathetically tells Steele that it sounds like his goose is cooked.

Sara: 1:52:44

Right in front of Gladys Lynch too. Right? Like, there's there's no hiding it anymore. They're just like, hella, you're screwed.

Eric: 1:52:51

Steele, with mock appreciation, says, thank you, Mildred. Thank you so much. And trying to recover the situation, Steele suggests that they have a sit as he slaps the champagne bottle.

Sara: 1:53:03

Yeah. Right.

Eric: 1:53:04

Miss Lynch declines saying she's going to run along. She needs time to absorb the evening. And after she leaves, there is once again the sound of breaking glass in the bedroom.

Sara: 1:53:13

What is she doing in there?

Eric: 1:53:15

We'll get to that. Steele jerks around toward the sound and and after a moment turns to Mildred asking, I suppose you heard that. Mildred nods and Steele takes off toward the bedroom and Mildred's Mildred stands just rolling her eyes in frustration. Well, Steele runs into the bedroom followed by Mildred and with disbelief asks Shannon what she thinks she's doing. She whines that she was trying to get his attention because it's so lonely in there. What she's doing is she's shooting rubber bands at the vases on the

Sara: 1:53:48

I okay. Another pet peeve here. Because with her and Conchita, they keep writing these vapid infantile women who are void of any, like, maturity and and and and just come across as as as spoiled, petulant children, and they can do better. You can still have a a sort of villain character, a femme fatale, what have you, and have them be intelligent and not coming across as a little kid like, this is I was bored, and you weren't paying attention to me, and I'm gonna be But like

Eric: 1:54:34

then again, given given where the writers and the production staff live, Hollywood

Sara: 1:54:40

Fair enough.

Eric: 1:54:41

You can just imagine that they they know these people. They work They with these they've

Sara: 1:54:46

done it, though, with not just Felicia, but with other female characters that have shown up that have been devious and manipulative. We've seen that that is possible without resorting to, oh, but I was lonely, so I'm gonna shoot elastic

Eric: 1:55:01

that's For all we know, these characters are actually based on real people.

Sara: 1:55:05

This is Bing territory. Okay? This is the kind of crap Bing would pull. I just I just it bugs me that they have these elements to her character that are so, like, childish. And and also, if you want this man to help you, smashing his furniture, probably not the best way to go. Just as Yeah.

Eric: 1:55:22

And, you know, in in real life, there are people who are just despicable, and there's nothing redeeming no redeeming qualities about their personalities at all, but in television and in movies, you want to kind of ignore reality and create a character that, even though they might be despicable, has some endearing or redeeming qualities so that you you can kind of at least love to hate them.

Sara: 1:55:57

It depends on the purpose of the character. So Keys, for example, had no redeeming qualities, he wasn't supposed to. We were supposed to hate him. Full stop. Mhmm. But with Shannon, we get the impression that we're supposed to at least not side with her, not like her, but not hate her so viscerally that we'd be happy to see her fall out the window and impale herself on the fence. You know? And that's how that's the reaction that Felicia would spurn or or spawn or or some of the other femme fatales that have shown up because they've given that character a bit of nuance and a bit of like, I love seeing it when Felicia shows up. She's she's a she's a foil for Laura. She's not a good person, but she's fun. So, you can at least enjoy the fun. There's no fun here with Shannon. She's just irritating. And the same was true with Conchita. But we're supposed to at least I don't know. Like, they're supposed to be funny to us, and it it loses the humor when you just wanna see the character impaled on a stick. Like I said, you're just not Right? So with with like Rocky Sullivan is another good example. She's irritating. She can't sing. She's No. She's not the brightest bulb on the tree, but you do kind of sympathize with her because there is an element to her that's likable. Mhmm. You know, it this this is just not it. We're supposed to feel something, and we don't. And so we don't understand why Steele gives a crap. Like, just shove her out the door. Kick her out. Why why why are you entertaining this?

Eric: 1:57:27

Preferably from 35,000 feet.

Sara: 1:57:30

Right. Just get rid of her. Even Tony. Even Tony. I can appreciate Tony when he's when he's with Steele. I enjoy their back and forth. I don't love what they're doing with Laura and Tony. I hate that that she kissed him for no other reason other than we just gotta comment what happened to our season 5 apologist. I'm trying. Okay? I I do I I like the Mexico episodes. I do. I I don't like this and I I like these these 2 episodes as they get further into it, but this beginning part in LA is not a great start. I think that they could have done better. And unfortunately, they probably should have found a different method other than this Shannon character. They should have either written her differently. She Maybe she should have just been somewhere Someone who shows up straight up begging him for help and have a more sympathetic element to her rather than adding this sort of deviousness to her character. It might have helped a little bit more because they were trying to give her too much of a Felicia element, but not being Felicia, it doesn't work. So it's like, pick a lane. They tried to straddle the middle. It didn't work.

Eric: 1:58:43

Well, anyway, as I said, Shannon whines that she's been trying to get his attention because it's so lonely in there, and angrily, Mildred picks up Shannon's dress from the floor, shoves it into her hands

Sara: 1:58:54

That's why you shouldn't have involved Mildred from the get go.

Eric: 1:58:57

Shoves it into Shannon's hands, pulls her to her feet, telling Steele that it looks like Sis is well enough to travel. And while Mildred drags Shannon out of the bedroom and toward the front door of the the apartment, Shannon demands to know, what about her coat? We'll send it to your partial post, Mildred retorts.

Sara: 1:59:16

She's the perfect bouncer. He Yes. She would have been like, if he had told her, I'll get her out, boss. Do your thing. She's gone.

Eric: 1:59:25

Exactly. Exactly. Well, after she shoves Shannon out of the apartment, she marches back into the living

Sara: 1:59:31

room And now he's

Eric: 1:59:32

in trouble. And a fierce frown on her face. Yeah. Cautiously, Steele leans out through the bedroom door, peers into the living room, and seeing that Shannon is gone, he slowly steps into the living room, 1st giving Mildred a grin, which then turns into an, I'm in trouble, aren't I? Look.

Sara: 1:59:50

He he looks like a small child who's just been sent to the principal's office and was caught red handed because it's and it's perfect. I will give chef's kiss to Pierce for that, like, little tentative, is it okay? Is she gone? And then, am I in trouble? It's good. It's funny.

Eric: 2:00:08

Mildred giving her his stern mother is not happy for him. Yeah. Tells him, this had better be good. And And you can almost hear her tapping her foot. Yep.

Sara: 2:00:20

Yeah. Yeah. She's not because she's not worshiping him anymore. So she knows that he's prone prone to these these bouts of Stupidity. Deceptiveness. Stupidity is a good 1. And so now she's, like, not taking his crap. Like, this better be good, mister.

Eric: 2:00:37

Well, his face morphs through several expressions and then ends on him lightly saying, it all started in Paris.

Sara: 2:00:47

I do like that. That callback to that line, her her, it all started in Paris, and then everybody else kind of adopting it. It's funny.

Eric: 2:00:57

Well, once again, we have Laura and Roselli walking along It the beach at seems there hasn't been a lot of conversation, thankfully. Finally, Roselli observes that she's steamed, she's stewed, and she's digested. She's done everything

Sara: 2:01:13

but food? Is she a meal? Steamed, stewed, and digested? That sounds like a really bad, takeout menu.

Eric: 2:01:25

Well, there's another moment of silence between them, and then finally, Laura says, domestic tiff. Dangerous game. Trying to make your husband jealous, he counsels. Laura is again silent for a moment before she apologizes, admitting that she shouldn't have kissed him that way, and she's sorry.

Sara: 2:01:43

At least she's acknowledging that she Yeah. Like, she knows that she she screwed up, that the person that torpedoed the situation was not him. Ultimately, it was her. And I don't love the fact that this is yet again another walk on the beach where the lighting and and they've set it up in a way where they're supposed to it's supposed to look romantic. We're supposed to get this connection between her and Tony. So far, it does other than kissing him to make Steele jealous, it does feel like she's still maintaining a boundary. She does she's, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you that way. That was wrong. But it it it's icky, like, the way the writers are continually trying to push this Mhmm. Yeah. Alternate you know? Well,

Eric: 2:02:29

Roselli responds, I'm not. Yeah. And Laura takes another moment to let more silence pass, and then with exasperation says, the last time I saw you, you were waving good we were waving goodbye to each other at a Mexican airport. Roselli says that he had a standing offer from UCLA and thought he'd take it. Laura asks why he didn't say anything about it while they were in Mexico.

Sara: 2:02:51

Yeah. Good question.

Eric: 2:02:52

He excused hang on. He excuses that he didn't want her to think that he was following her. After all, she was a happily married woman on her honeymoon, And then with an accusatory tone, asks, you are a happily married woman, aren't you?

Sara: 2:03:07

Subtle. Yeah. Real subtle there, Tony. Mac drug. Yeah. Like, he's supposed to be an intelligence, but this is just like, you are happily married. Right? Right? Yeah. Like, come on.

Eric: 2:03:21

Now, my problem is that his excuse about not wanting her to think he was following her

Sara: 2:03:28

And then following her? And then following her?

Eric: 2:03:31

Yeah. Well, I mean, it was either a terrible lie or evidence that the man has no brains because, I mean Yeah. If he didn't want her to think he was following her He would've shown up. Figured out some way no. He would've figured out some way to casually mention the standing offer.

Sara: 2:03:46

Yes.

Eric: 2:03:46

And that's something to the effect that, well, he's been thinking about taking it for a while. He would have mentioned this while they were in Mexico setting up the situation.

Sara: 2:03:55

Yeah.

Eric: 2:03:56

But by not having said anything about the offer and then showing up at her home, it's that clearly says, I followed you. Showing up You may even say stalker.

Sara: 2:04:06

Yeah. Showing up at her home. At what point did she give him her address? Now granted, if she's in the the phone book, he could have looked her up, but that that's deliberate. That is not Mhmm. Like, even if he had not set it up in Mexico and had arranged it to make it look as if they just bumped into each other on the street Mhmm. He could at least made he could at least have made the excuse of, oh, well, had a standing offer. I decided to take it, but I didn't wanna bother you too when you're starting out your life. What a crazy random, you know, thing. We just met here. Instead, he he literally shows up at her home, and he's like, yeah. I had a standing offer, but I didn't wanna think I was stalking you.

Eric: 2:04:42

Now, in his defense, he showed up at Steele's apartment, not necessarily

Sara: 2:04:48

Laura's apartment. True.

Eric: 2:04:50

So Well, but it could have been that he was going there to to talk to Steele, but he he should have had a better excuse ready for Laura.

Sara: 2:04:58

But they're they're married. So Right. Wouldn't his apartment be her apartment?

Eric: 2:05:03

Not necessarily. Because as I we said

Sara: 2:05:05

mean

Eric: 2:05:06

before, you know, they could have been looking for something else. Yeah. She could have still been, you know, in the process of moving in. He could have been in the process of moving into her place.

Sara: 2:05:15

Fair enough. He went to her place 1st. I mean, he if he's looked her like I mean, we know throughout the course of this episode that it's more a Steele he's interested in roping into his little Mhmm. Scheme, but anyway Yeah.

Eric: 2:05:28

But it's just that if this guy's supposed to be in intelligence, he

Sara: 2:05:33

He's pretty dumb?

Eric: 2:05:35

Yeah. He's pretty dumb.

Sara: 2:05:36

Yeah. He's pretty dumb.

Eric: 2:05:37

Because what you do is you you you set up all these possible you you you analyze the situation. You look at all the possible different scenarios Yeah. That could occur, the different variations that might occur. And so when you're interacting with these people, you just kind of casually, within the course of, you know, a normal conversation, you you you set up all these threads that you can follow, and even if if, you know, you set up 50 threads and you only follow 1 Yeah. You've got yourself covered because you don't know what's gonna happen, but you You've

Sara: 2:06:14

possible viability.

Eric: 2:06:15

You've laid yeah. You've laid out all these possible options that you can take advantage of

Sara: 2:06:21

Yeah.

Eric: 2:06:22

And it doesn't look like you've gone back after the fact to try to create these excuses. So anyway well, let's see. Where were we here? Yes. He he asks if she is happily married, and she says after a moment, some days are happier than others. And Roselli says that she never told him why this Keyes guy thought her marriage was phony. Doesn't matter what Keyes thought, she says somewhat defensively. Oh, because he's dead? No. Because he was wrong, she says firmly, and then she turns and walks away.

Sara: 2:06:55

This is a good response from her. Her some days are happier than others. That is a very married response. I'm sorry, but it is, like, you know, like, some days are happier than others. Some days, you just wanna strangle them or suffocate them with a pillow, but, you know, you still love them. And then her her you know, because he's dead? No. Because he was wrong.

Eric: 2:07:15

Mhmm. Well and and he calls after her as she's walking away. What would you do if another keys came along? And she turns and looks at him, and again, she's somewhat defensive when she responds that he never proved anything. Probably not the best tone of voice to say that in because that says that he just because he didn't prove it didn't mean it wasn't true. Exactly. And Tony begins to slowly walk toward her saying that if someone could prove that she really wasn't married, he'd be the happiest man in the world.

Sara: 2:07:44

Okay. Okay. That in my notes, in big bold letters I wrote, that still doesn't make her available, you Muppet. K? Because, like, just because even if even if he did find out that she wasn't actually not being married doesn't mean you're this drives me nuts. This idea that if there's not a ring, that somebody's still available. If you're in a committed relationship, regardless of not whether there's a con a marriage contract involved. Mhmm. You're not available. You're not it's this isn't a buffet. You don't just get to go, I'll take that 1, please. And, you know, and even if she wasn't in a committed relationship, that still doesn't mean she's available to him. That arrogance of saying, well, if someone could prove you weren't really married, I'd be the happiest man in the world. Why? It doesn't mean she's going home with you, Bubba. Sit down. I mean,

Eric: 2:08:38

you said, Buffet, I had a thought that just came into mind, and I can't say it.

Sara: 2:08:41

No. I'm sorry. I I realized what that thought must be and I I walked into that. But still, like, not being married does not equal have at it. It just that attitude bothers me.

Eric: 2:08:57

Anyway, where were we? Let's see. Could prove that he was he'd be the happiest man in the world. And then he says that, yes, he did follow her there. So let me get this straight. He didn't want her to think that he followed there her there, but then he tells her that he followed her there.

Sara: 2:09:15

Because he thinks that he's got he he thinks that he's flirting that she's don't I know. He thinks that there's some sort of connection, romantic connection, and that by admitting after the fact, I did follow you here, is gonna somehow be

Eric: 2:09:33

Yeah. Appealing. Flattering. Flattering.

Sara: 2:09:36

Yes. That is charming or or sweet or something.

Eric: 2:09:38

And I didn't want you to think I was stalking you, but I'm stalking you.

Sara: 2:09:42

And if the interest was genuine on her part, it might come across as kinda cute to say, oh, to be honest, yeah, I did kinda follow you here, but it's at this point, it's not. She's she kissed him to tick Steele off. It worked. It destroyed their chances at immigration rubber stamping the marriage, but, hey, she has firmly told him I'm not interested. Yes. So he's

Eric: 2:10:06

Yeah. It's interesting though. Visually, this this sequence here of him Laura walking away, him calling out after her and, you know, I would be happy if you weren't married, blah blah blah. As Rizzelli says, if someone could prove you weren't really married, he'd be the happiest man in the world, what we see is a shot over Laura's shoulder at Rizzelli. Then after he says that line, we cut to an over the shoulder shot from his side looking at Laura's face, and then when he says that he did fall over there, it's again shot over Laura's shoulder at Roselli, and then after that line, it's back to the over the shoulder shot from his side looking at Laura's Now, it's the shots over his shoulder at Laura, the 2 2 shots there that are separated. Both of the times that we see Laura's face, the look on her face is almost this is my interpretation anyway.

Sara: 2:11:04

Sure.

Eric: 2:11:05

Almost a hurt look, and I'm not sure if this is because of the threat that he expressed of another Keyes coming along or of his comments about how if she weren't married, he'd be the happiest man in the world or the fact that he followed her there. Now, all 3 of those are understandably disturbing. Yeah. But her face to me, her face isn't disturbed. It's it's hurt.

Sara: 2:11:31

Here's here's

Eric: 2:11:32

what I think is on.

Sara: 2:11:33

Yeah. I I see what you mean. Here's what I think is going on because I don't believe up until I think the last 2 episodes, there's not really any clear indication that she's genuinely interested in Tony. She's Mhmm. She kind of plays around with him to tick Steele off, but it's this this expression on her face, I think she likes the idea that someone is genuinely interested and seems to be honest. And I think the hurt expression is just the hurt that she's feeling over what's going on inside the loft. The fact that Steele's still lying to her, the fact that another heath could come along, the fact that she's potentially ruined any of the chances that immigration's gonna believe them anyway, coupled with the fact that here's this guy who she doesn't really want him, but he's not it's a William Westfield thing all over again. He supposedly seems like an honest straight shooter, and she's that's not who she's wanting. She wants the guy that keeps screwing it up. And and

Eric: 2:12:46

And she doesn't want it because he keeps screwing it up. She wants him in spite of the fact that he keeps screwing

Sara: 2:12:50

it up. In spite of the fact that he

Eric: 2:12:51

keeps And she's screwing frustrated by the fact that he keeps screwing it up.

Sara: 2:12:54

And I think she's just sort of feeling like a little sad that why can't the person that's pursuing me so doggedly and so again, honestly, and I say this in air quotes because we know Tony is not honest

Eric: 2:13:06

Yes.

Sara: 2:13:07

Be the guy that's in that loft right now. Like, why can't that be the case? I think that that's maybe what Stephanie's playing here because Okay. It makes more sense that she's hurt over what Steele did rather than the fact that that Tony showed up again. She him being there or not being there, she wasn't missing him. She wasn't pining for him. Him showing up was literally just at the time that her feelings were so hurt that she decided to, I guess, shoot herself and

Eric: 2:13:36

Have a reaction.

Sara: 2:13:37

But, yeah. Like, if he hadn't shown up, I'm guessing she would have gritted her teeth and smiled her way through the rest of the evening and then give and Steele the business after everybody had left. Mhmm. And I don't agree with the way she handled things. I think it was way worse than anything Steele had done up until that point because she at least could cover for Steele. It might not have looked super believable having his sister Mhmm. In a, you

Eric: 2:14:02

know Yeah.

Sara: 2:14:02

Sexy outfit on his bed, but he wasn't making out with her.

Eric: 2:14:05

Yeah. In front of everybody.

Sara: 2:14:08

Yeah. Exactly. Like, she I just think she's thinking she's probably thinking of the ramifications of what she's just done and gone, crap.

Eric: 2:14:17

Yeah. It could be.

Sara: 2:14:18

Yeah. Because she's done more damage to this situation than anybody could have at this point. Like

Eric: 2:14:26

Yeah. Especially especially that comment about mother may be up there for hours. She you know what she had in mind.

Sara: 2:14:33

Yeah. Like, it oh, come on. Is it was it worth making him jealous? Was it worth it at this point? Like and he does I have to agree with Tony. It is a dangerous game trying to make him jealous. Like, this is this is infantile stuff. If you trust somebody, you you you gotta trust them. You can't be doing this back and forth nonsense with them. Now, I'm not gonna say he's always given her a reason to trust him, but when it comes to the 2 of them and their relationship, he's never actively gone out of her his way to to sleep with other women right in front of he doesn't do that. He flirts. Sure. He flirts with other women all the

Eric: 2:15:13

time. Yeah. He's always Sometimes it's only in the course of business.

Sara: 2:15:17

Yeah. But he's

Eric: 2:15:18

always been extremely

Sara: 2:15:19

he's always been extremely faithful. Even when they were apart, they kinda tried to date other people, but you get the impression that he was still pretty celibate for that Yeah.

Eric: 2:15:30

He he his heart wasn't into it. Yeah. Exactly. So

Sara: 2:15:33

she should know better when it comes to that part of things.

Eric: 2:15:37

Yeah. Well, anyway, after Roselli makes his comment about having followed her there, she looks at him for a moment and tells him goodbye and turns and walks away. Well, back at the office, Mildred is at her desk, and a man is sitting in the chair. The man is frowning, staring straight ahead, and has a document in his hands. Laura walks in with a yet another hairdo,

Sara: 2:16:05

a different hairdo. This is this is a different 1, isn't it?

Eric: 2:16:07

Hairdo central. Yep. As she greets Mildred, the man stands. Laura walks over to him and introduces herself as Laura Holt Steele. No confusion about the name now.

Sara: 2:16:16

She got it there. Yeah. She's been practicing. She's up all night. Holt Steele. Holt Steele. Holt Steele.

Eric: 2:16:23

Well, the 2 shake hands as the man introduces himself as Norman Metzger. Mildred asks Laura, where's the boss? Offhandedly, Laura says, he's sleeping in. Mildred gives a nervous chuckle, asks Metz to excuse him. Coffee break, you know. Then she turns Laura around and walks her into the office. Once inside, she confronts Laura demanding that she spill, sarcastically calling her Little Mary Sunshine.

Sara: 2:16:50

Laura is not immune to the Mildred punishment. Mildred Oh, no. Mildred Mildred read him the riot act, and now she's gonna do the same to like, she's single handedly holding these 2 together. You know? She plays interference where Tony's involved. She plays interference interference where Shannon's involved. She's on it. Yes. I love that about Mildred.

Eric: 2:17:11

Well, Laura tries to feign ignorance and indifference, but Mildred refuses to let her off the hook. Laura and Steele have been married for less than a week, and she's already fooling around. Mildred says she's heard about modern marriages, but this takes the case.

Sara: 2:17:25

She doesn't know. I we talked about this before, but she can't know. She got it like, why have they not told her? Ugh. Why was it me? They should've. They should've told like, not that it matters in this context, but Yeah. She genuinely thinks they're married, which I guess helps in terms of immigration because if if if she's gonna be their biggest cheerleader, but now she thinks they're cheating on each other?

Eric: 2:17:47

Yeah. Well, angrily, Laura suggests that Mildred ask mister Steele how his sister is doing this morning. His sister's history, Mildred informs her. Good, Laura says angrily. Then Mildred could send in the client. Laura attempts to

Sara: 2:18:03

leave must have gone home to her loft. She did not stay at mister Steele's

Eric: 2:18:07

No. No.

Sara: 2:18:09

No. I mean, to be fair, I can I can understand why, but at the same time, they're supposed to be living together, and we already talked about with bonds of Steele Mhmm? Like, he I I had the assumption that he and I still kinda think this, that he assumed that he and Clarissa would get married and just hope that immigration would take it at face value and not check up on it, and then realizing that, oh, crap. We gotta play this game for 2 years. We actually have to live together. And and and if Gladys Lynch had come back and she wasn't there Mhmm. Then what? We

Eric: 2:18:44

had an argument. I mean, that makes us look

Sara: 2:18:47

That usually just means that usually just means he sleeps on the couch. Right? Like, that's the that's the old the old shorthand. So it wasn't really that smart of her to go home to her loft. She should have probably gone back. And honestly, not just because of that, but to hash it out with him. Yeah. This is the problem. They spend their time in their little silos, and they don't talk.

Eric: 2:19:10

Well, Laura attempts to leave, but Mildred stops her saying, speaking about lost relatives, just what's going on between you and the Italian stallion? Italian stallion. He's a friend, if he sort of insists. That's But of course, Mildred isn't buying it. You Do think that it's a little bit too friendly that he just shows up on your doorstep and defends you?

Sara: 2:19:31

I don't know about you, but I don't make out with my friends. Do you? No. When they show up at my door, I don't kiss them on the mouth. That's not a a thing I do. So, Laura

Eric: 2:19:46

I don't know.

Sara: 2:19:49

Like, he's just a friend isn't working if Mildred saw you inspecting his tonsils. She's gonna need a little more than that.

Eric: 2:19:57

He's a very good,

Sara: 2:19:58

very good Very good friend. A friend with benefits? Like, what? I'm sorry. No.

Eric: 2:20:05

Well, of course, no. Wait a 2nd here. Defensively, Laura claims that he's an archaeologist at UCLA. And Mildred leans in, getting right into Laura's face and growls, I didn't ask what he did. I asked what he's doing.

Sara: 2:20:19

Good for

Eric: 2:20:19

you, Mildred. Maybe what she really means to ask is who's he doing? And and, you know, it's a bit hypocritical of Laura. It at least shows that she's not recognizing the similarities between Steele being targeted by an unexpected visit by someone who's making a play for him and her being the target of an unexpected visit by somebody who's making a play for her.

Sara: 2:20:46

Oh, it's 100% hypocritical, but she's justifying it in her head that, well, he started it or any of this other immature crap. But, yeah, it's 1,000 hypocritical.

Eric: 2:20:56

She knows that. The only other possibility and this is a possibility. I'm not saying it's a high possibility, but I'm saying it's a possibility. She's projecting. She's got the hots for Tony, so she assumes that Steele must have the hots for Shannon. Yeah.

Sara: 2:21:12

I don't I don't I don't think she has the hots for Tony. I really don't. I think I think she again, she

Eric: 2:21:19

a small possibility. But I mean

Sara: 2:21:21

I think

Eric: 2:21:22

But even if it's not not to the extent of I got the hots for him, there may be some projecting there.

Sara: 2:21:27

Yeah. Well, it's 1 of those things where you can look at somebody who you find attractive and think, okay, if I if I were single, sure. I don't think she wants to be with Tony, but she might find him attractive, and maybe that's where her insecurities are are lying in that she sees this woman show up. And again, they have a past that she's not aware of, and she's her old insecurities are flaring up again, but it's still pretty hypocritical to get defensive about something that everybody saw her do. Yeah. This isn't there's no plausible there's no plausible liability with this. She walked up and kissed him full on in front of

Eric: 2:22:05

Unprovoked.

Sara: 2:22:06

Everybody. Unprovoked. No reason at all. Apropos of nothing. She just launched herself at the guy. So, yeah, she doesn't like that when the spotlight is being shot on her, and and and the we've had a commenter saying Doris Roberts still shines. She's perfect as Mildred. She's great as Mildred. Like, Mildred is calling the crap. She's calling them both out. She's not playing favorites. She called out Steele. She's calling out Laura. Steele, at least, to be to his credit, is somewhat ashamed like, somewhat yeah. Okay. I screwed up. Laura is refusing to take any accountability for what she's what she's done. None whatsoever. Yeah. And I I love I do love the fact that, technically, Laura is and and Steele is Mildred's boss.

Eric: 2:22:50

Mhmm.

Sara: 2:22:51

And and yet, the these 3 are so much family. Like, there's so much of a family element found family element between them that Laura or that Mildred feels safe in her job calling out both Laura and Steele and does not worry that they're gonna turn around and say, hey. This is not your place. This isn't appropriate in the workplace. You're fired. Whatever. No.

Eric: 2:23:11

Well, it's appropriate. At some of the things that Laura have done in the workplace.

Sara: 2:23:15

Fair enough. But just that they're all so close that they're gonna call each other on their BS Mhmm. And she deserves it. Yeah.

Eric: 2:23:25

Yeah. Anyway, Laura's had enough of the conversation. She firmly insists that Mildred send in the client, then she turns and stomps off into Steele's office while Mildred steps out to usher the client in. Mildred bangs Metzger into Steele's office, and Laura greets him and directs him to a chair. Mildred moves as if to stay, but Laura dismisses her in a very formal manner, calling her Yeah. Miss Krebs.

Sara: 2:23:50

Yeah. She's mad.

Eric: 2:23:51

Yes. After Mildred leaves, Laura asks mister Metzger if they shouldn't begin. Well, shouldn't we wait for mister Steele questions? Laura over solicitlessly says that with the demands on his precious time, mister Steele's schedule is unpredictable. And then she asks Metzger to explain his problem. He hands her a photograph calling it boy with flute. Laura takes it and looks at it, and her eyes get huge as she comments. That's quite a flute. Mads girl leans over to look at the photo and embarrassed points out that she's holding it upside down.

Sara: 2:24:31

Speaking of the periscope, also I tried to is this this isn't a real painting. Correct? Because I I

Eric: 2:24:36

Not as far as I can find.

Sara: 2:24:38

Okay. I used all of my powers of Google and could not find any any painting that looked like this, cowboy with flute. Like, I I and I looked because I thought, okay. If this is a real thing, I'm curious as to it's funny though. That's quite the flute. It's upside down.

Eric: 2:24:58

She rotates the photos. The man explains it. It belongs to the Levinson estate, and as the executor, he was supposed to sell it, but he thinks it's been stolen. But you're not sure? Laura questions. The Lindstrom Gallery agreed to accept it on consignment, Metzger explains.

Sara: 2:25:18

We're being trolled, I think, by our commenter who says, I still won't get the flute reference. Can you explain it further? No. Yes, Eric. No. We can't. There's there's an LOL after after that, so this is definitely our beloved listeners trolling us. Yes. Ask your and dad. Yes. Ask your

Eric: 2:25:43

dad. Not that they'll tell you anyway, but yeah. They'll they'll come up with a fantastic story. Anyway, the the Lindstrom Gallery agreed to accept it on consignment, Metzger explains. But I haven't heard from Eric Lindstrom for a couple of weeks, so I phoned. He's never returned any of my calls. I and I went down there, but the place is locked up tight. And Laura surmises that Metzger is concerned that Lindstrom has disappeared with the painting. Afraid isn't the word, Metzger says. Then he stands and dramatically expounds that he's just an accountant. His stock and trade is client trust. If Lindstrom has absconded with the painting, the estate is out$2,500,000, and Messker's reputation is ruined.

Sara: 2:26:24

They picked the wormiest little worm for this. Like, the actor no shade to the actor. He he obviously is a character actor who knows when he's there, but he's just, like, so, like he's just so, like, wormy. He just He keeps licking his lips as he talks, and it's just it's weird, and it's yeah. Anyway.

Eric: 2:26:48

Hey. Our our commenter is appreciative of your description of him as a troll, or I I assume it's a him based on the name.

Sara: 2:26:55

Friendly neighborhood troll, but yes. Yes.

Eric: 2:26:59

Hey. Then, you know, that's quite a badge of honor, actually.

Sara: 2:27:03

Yeah. It's fun. It's fun times.

Eric: 2:27:06

Let's see. Let's see where were we. Yes. Yeah. Metzger's reputation is ruined. Laura stands, clasps her hands, and eagerly says, let's get cracking. She turns and begins to leave, but Metzger doesn't move asking after her, but what about mister Steele? Out in the hallway of the building, Laura and Metzger enter an elevator. Metzger again begins to question, are you sure we shouldn't wait for your husband? But he doesn't get to complete the question before Laura cuts him off with 1 curt word, positive. And as the door of their elevator closes, the door to the adjacent elevator opens. Steele walks out and down the hall and into the office. Steele strides to the door of Laura's office offhandedly saying, morning, morning, morning to Mildred as he passes her desk. Mildred, who's turned aside working intently on the computer, doesn't bother looking it up, but she does point toward Laura's office and reports that Laura is not in. He stops, turns around toward Mildred, then gives an awkward and embarrassed grin, commenting that he left her sleeping like a baby. Liar. Exactly. That's what and that line is great because,

Sara: 2:28:14

It's 1st so of all good.

Eric: 2:28:17

It's clear Steele is lying. Mildred knows he's lying. Yep. But she can cover by saying you know, after after Steele says, really, Mildred? No need to get nasty. Me. She can cover by saying, that it's Tony character. Point and she points to the computer and reports that he's been doing she's been doing some checking up on the alleged grave digger.

Sara: 2:28:39

Good for her. Like, nobody asked her to, but she's she's on She's she's like, she sees the threat. She's gonna eliminate the threat.

Eric: 2:28:47

That's right. Right on, Mildred. Alleged Steele questions? She tears off a computer printout and then stands and hands it to Steele, pointing out details. He's supposedly in town on UCLA's invitation, but UCLA doesn't even know he exists. Well, speak of the devil or

Sara: 2:29:04

Speak of the snake.

Eric: 2:29:05

Speak of the snakes, Roselli walks into the office and calls to Steele. And in a low tone, Mildred comments, speaking of snakes. Speaking of the devil, Mildred, he corrects. Then he turns to Roselli adding that Mildred is always confusing her cliches. Tony asks if he can talk to Steele, and then glancing toward Mildred adds, in private. Yes. Absolutely, he says. Although he's probably also thinking Is

Sara: 2:29:40

that my house is your house and

Eric: 2:29:42

But my wife is not your wife. Oh.

Sara: 2:29:47

0, our commenter is male and and liked my wormiest little worm description of Metzger. He just he just gives off this little, shouldn't we wait for Steele? Shouldn't we wait for Steele?

Eric: 2:30:01

When you just did that, it made me see him as a cartoon character. I can't think of of what cartoon character, but yeah. Yeah. 1 of those little sleazy cartoon characters. Anyway, the 2 men walk towards Steele's office and Mildred, ignoring the in private part of Rizzelli's request, tries to follow. But Steele turns aside and stops her, reminding her that three's a crowd, at least in this case. He turns back to his office and then back toward Mildred again adding, that's another cliche. In this case, accurate.

Sara: 2:30:35

Yeah.

Eric: 2:30:36

Well, inside Steele's office, Tony looks around and observes that business must be good. Steele, paper still in hand, walks toward his desk and confirms that, yes, it's been a banner year for crime. Then he leans against his desk, observes Roselli, who is standing at the far side of the office, and then Roselli says to Steele that Steele was probably wondering what Roselli was doing at their apartment last night. Nonsense, Steele retorts with disgust. I thought it was quite clear what you were doing. Kissing my wife, wasn't it? And thus begins a verbal exchange and verbal volley between the 2. Roselli, I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy it. Steele. So you're an honest man, Anthony. I like that in a person. So does my wife. Roselli, you should know that I find your wife very attractive. Steele. I'm sure she'll be delighted

Sara: 2:31:28

to hear that.

Eric: 2:31:29

Roselli. But I'm not the kind of guy who'd go after a married woman. Steele. Now it's my turn to be delighted. Roselli. Unless she wasn't really married, hypothetically speaking, of course, because if a married woman wasn't really married, she'd be fair game, wouldn't she?

Sara: 2:31:45

No. Deal. I'm sorry, but no. That's not how it works. No. No. No. No. Our commenter just said, now I'm sleazy? Probably. No. You're not sleazy. You are not sleazy. Metzger and Tony, they're but no. That's not how it works. Just because you're not no. Especially if she said she's not interested. No. Okay. I'm done.

Eric: 2:32:12

Well, Steele agrees, hypothetically speaking, of course. And then he looks down at the paper in his hand and then turns a conversation from Steele's integrity and the integrity of their marriage to the integrity of Roselli's employment claims. And he begins by saying, then again, this married woman was being pursued by a, I'll say, an archaeologist who's on the staff of, well, pick any school, say UCLA, and she found out that he was a bald faced liar, she'd be fairly upset with this archaeologist. Wouldn't That's you

Sara: 2:32:47

good. I like these.

Eric: 2:32:48

And avoid Steele's accusing look, Rosselli crosses his arms, looks to the side, and then cautiously answered, hypothetically speaking. Steele hands Roselli the paper sarcastically explaining that it's a shame the document isn't in hieroglyphics, but then perhaps Roselli can still decipher its full meaning anyway.

Sara: 2:33:07

Round 1 to Steele, and our commenter said, knew it was coming. No. That's not how it works. This is how it works.

Eric: 2:33:15

Roselli looks at the page, glances up at Steele, who pointedly says, it's a good thing we're dealing in the abstract, Anthony? Good thing, Roselli nods. And if you wanna keep it that way, I suggest you find someplace else to dig your dirt, Steele's friends.

Sara: 2:33:34

Love it. Love it.

Eric: 2:33:35

Still studying the page, Roselli sighs then says that he's leaving for England in a few days. Steele takes the paper and coldly tells him, give my best to Big Ben. After the 2 men glare at each other for a moment, Steele leads Roselli out of the office in interception. Mildred, who has been keeping herself busy with busy work, looks up again as Steele is grinning and saying, well, Anthony, it's a pity we won't be seeing you again. And Roselli, malicious grin on his face, lightly threatens, you never can tell, as he leaves the office. Immediately, Steele's grin turns to a hard angry line telling Mildred, drop everything. He wants to know all there is to know about that slippery wife stealing, that slippery wife stealer, pronto.

Sara: 2:34:22

I'm surprised he didn't enlist Mildred's help immediately, like, when he 1st came into the office. Maybe he thought well, no, but he couldn't have thought he's not gonna see Tony again because Tony showed up at his front door and Yeah. Is clearly not going anywhere. So Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 2:34:39

Yeah. So, yeah, he he probably should have planned for it. Anyway, before Mildred can respond, the phone rings. After a brief but clearly disturbing conversation, Mildred turns to Steele and with a saccharin tone says, speaking of slippery, she begins, your sister has apparently collapsed in her hotel room. Shannon? Steele asks with concern. You have any other sisters I should know about? Mildred accused

Sara: 2:35:04

Immediately on the I'm like, you got any more that I should know about, bud?

Eric: 2:35:10

Ignoring Mildred's accusation, he demands to know where she is. Wilshire Marquis, she reports. Then with a barely discussed anger, she warns Steele. That tart is trouble, boss. I'll handle the tart, he promises. You keep digging for skeletons.

Sara: 2:35:26

I love it. I love it.

Eric: 2:35:27

Well, at the Wilshire Marquis, we are in a gaudy hotel suite that I suppose is television's twisted fantasy version of Elegant Opulence.

Sara: 2:35:38

I think it's the eighties fantasy version of Elegant Opulence because

Eric: 2:35:42

It looks like a whorehouse version of Elegant Opulence.

Sara: 2:35:45

It it really does.

Eric: 2:35:46

French, but

Sara: 2:35:47

But I could honestly see that in the eighties being a quote, unquote fancy hotel. I maybe it's just for what I've seen in movies, but like that seems to be what was now, it's it's funny because it's the opposite now. It's more the more minimalist, the more upscale. Like, we stayed in we've only ever stayed only ever stayed in 1 4 star hotel once, and it was we went to Quebec 4 years ago, and we drove we drove there. So it was like a 13 hour drive all in all, but we stopped and we stayed we stayed 3 2 nights in Ottawa, 2 nights in Montreal, and then 2 nights in Quebec, then drove all the way back. And the hotels in in Ottawa and Montreal were were a Best Western in a holiday, and nothing fancy, but, you know, middle of the range.

Eric: 2:36:38

Decent.

Sara: 2:36:38

You know?

Eric: 2:36:38

Decent motels.

Sara: 2:36:39

Yeah. They did what they said on the tin. Right? Yeah. But we wanted to stay, and I had some sort of deal. I can't remember where I found it, but we wanted to stay right in Old Quebec, and the only hotel that that was there that I had I I can't remember what the deal was, but I had a deal for the Hilton. And this is the kind of hotel where they they, like, I mean, the brand itself, but they park your car for you, and we could see all of the old town from our and it had a button that it pressed, it opened the window, and it was like this bay window. It was gorgeous. The there was a pool on the roof with a bar, a walk up bar, and I was like, oh my god. This is how the other 0.5 lives. But it was minimalist. It was very there was barely any it was the bed, the huge TV, the all white, all sort of, like, void of color, and it was supposed to be like, you're so rich. You don't have to have stuff. And we were I only could afford 2 nights. That was it. That was like the most expensive part of the trip, literally the most expensive part. The gas, the drive, none of that was as as expensive as that those 2 nights in that hotel. And it was like, well, we'll probably never do this again, so we're gonna do it now.

Eric: 2:37:45

Well, I think a lot of hotels probably cut back on the fancy accoutrement because they got tired of having to

Sara: 2:37:54

Replace it when people Steele it?

Eric: 2:37:55

Replace it, well, when they Steele it or when, you know, the local rock and roll star trashes the hotel.

Sara: 2:38:00

Smashes stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, it is a it is a hideous hotel room that she's in. I do not disagree with you.

Eric: 2:38:08

Well, 1 of the men who had threatened her back in London walks into the door of the room and opens it, letting Steele in and points saying, in air. Steele is led to another room in the suite, and it's the bedroom, and Shannon is lying in the bed. She looks up, pretending to be ill, as well as pretending to be surprised at his presence, and pretendingly being weak asks, what are you doing here? I believe you wanted to see me, Steele answers. And with faux annoyance, Shannon turns to the other man and chastises him claiming, she told him not to say anything. I didn't know how long you'd last, he excuses. Yeah. Okay. Dismissively, Shannon says, that will be all, doctor. And as the fake doctor leaves, Shannon leans back, placing her hand on her chest. Yeah. It's my heart. Still asks, what seems to be the problem? Yes. I suppose you have a right to know, she says. It's her heart. She tells him that she has some sort of condition, a multisyllable word that only the doctors can pronounce. But when you boil it down, time is of the essence.

Sara: 2:39:20

In other words, I didn't have enough time to look it up in the book of That's right. You know, heart illnesses. So I'm just gonna make up a fake it's a it's a multisyllable word that I can't pronounce, but I'm gonna die soon, although I look perfectly healthy.

Eric: 2:39:34

Yes. Well, she reaches over to the nightstand and picks up a brandy snifter. Prescription brandy, Steele questions? Doctor's orders, she excuses, claiming it stimulates the circulation. I'll bet it does, Steele comments.

Sara: 2:39:49

She might have been able to get away with a line like that if if it had been red wine. Red wine does have some, like, positive properties for the heart if it's consumed in moderation, but it obviously, we've we see with Shannon, she doesn't consume in moderation anyway. But, like, you know, if it had been red wine, it might have been 1 thing, but I'm not sure what brandy does for the heart.

Eric: 2:40:08

Although, is it brandy that is that begins as wine?

Sara: 2:40:15

I don't know.

Eric: 2:40:16

I I

Sara: 2:40:18

I don't know.

Eric: 2:40:19

I think

Sara: 2:40:20

I'm gonna Google it.

Eric: 2:40:24

Google is your friend.

Sara: 2:40:26

Does brandy begin As wine. As wine. Okay. Let's see here. Yes. Traditional brandy begins as wine.

Eric: 2:40:38

So making is healthy.

Sara: 2:40:40

Fruit juice most often grape wine into a base liquid than heat and distill that liquid to concentrate the alcohol. The name comes from the Dutch word brand, means burnt wine. So they screwed up. They burned it, and they

Eric: 2:40:53

said And then they said, well, hey, we're gonna put it in a bottle, put a big price tag on it, and the suckers will

Sara: 2:40:59

buy it. We did it on purpose.

Eric: 2:41:01

That's right. Well, she puts the snifter down and then plunges in. I'll admit there have been other men in my life. Well, a few other men. And then with enthusiasm clarifies, quite a few other men. That

Sara: 2:41:17

I I like this bit. That's funny. That is funny to me.

Eric: 2:41:23

Steele says, we're not going back to Paris, are we? And ignoring the question, Shannon pledges on, but they all paled in comparison to you. She reaches out a hand toward him, which is why I hoped we could spend what little time there is left together. I'm a married man, he reminds her, and eagerly, she says, she'll forget it if you will. Steele says, he can't. She asks, does he think it will last? And he pauses a moment before responding then says, it has to. Getting to her knees, Shannon grabs his arms, begins pleading, give me these last few months, and I promise you won't regret it. She throws her arms around his neck and begins kissing him. Steele pushes her away and firmly tells her that he doesn't think his wife would like that. Then he turns and begins to leave. But getting up from the bed and following, Shannon angrily demands that he stop being such a loyal twit. And then desperate and she desperately begs him to forget Lulu.

Sara: 2:42:30

Again It's

Eric: 2:42:31

him she needs desperately.

Sara: 2:42:33

I that line, that's not meant for Shannon. Stop being such a loyal twit and forget Lulu.

Eric: 2:42:40

Yeah.

Sara: 2:42:40

That that's Felicia all over. I don't Yes. Think that Steele would have ever bought the false heart thing from her either. No. But it would be funny to see her try it. Oh, we've got also a comedy reminder for the home improvement and Buffy references. Gotta find 1. Gotta find 1 now. Mission accepted.

Eric: 2:43:00

We we just like the movie reference in this script, we will try to shoehorn 1 in just for you. Yeah.

Sara: 2:43:08

But yeah. It's just that that forget Lulu. I could just see

Eric: 2:43:12

Actually, was a home improvement reference I I I I passed on earlier and I wish I could remember what it was now.

Sara: 2:43:19

Well, and this this this stop being such a loyal twit is funny. Mhmm. His behavior here is good. Just his, like, I'm married. I have a wife. Like, you know, back He's good here. I'll have some issues with him the next time he sees her in her hotel room, but this is good.

Eric: 2:43:36

This is good. Even his response to this. I mean, he turns to face her. He wipes the lipstick from his face with his handkerchief, and then he points at her and cautions, steady, darling. Remember the picture? And as Steele turns and leaves, she cries out, how can you let a little thing like a wife stand in the way of a dying woman's last request?

Sara: 2:43:55

I just okay. Okay. But, like, I'm sorry, but just because you're dying doesn't mean the entitlement off the charts here. Like, I'm dying. Why won't you have sex with me? Or why won't you marry me even though you're married already? And this should have been enough to dissuade I mean, obviously, she also suspects that the marriage is phony, but she doesn't have any proof of it. But this would be theoretically, should have been enough to dissuade her from her scheme because if he was really married, you can't get a divorce and then remarry that quickly. She needs to have the money for this, you know, now. Like, she needs it now. She can't there's no time to do all of that. The commenter's asking if it was written for yeah. It was written originally written with Felicia, they wanted Felicia, but they couldn't get her. So they my guess is the original script had some differences to it. And then when they couldn't get Cassandra Harris, they just retooled it a little bit and wrote the character as Shannon.

Eric: 2:44:57

But he wasn't originally That is a note from Judah Moose's book It isn't her Steele loved after all these years. Yes.

Sara: 2:45:03

That they initially wanted. And it, again, would've especially for the series finale, like, last 3 6 episodes, it would've made so much more sense to bring her in with Daniel in the last 2 episodes. Yes. It Yeah. You know, it just it would have felt full circle. She showed up in season 1, showing up in season 5. Again, schedules, you can't really you know, it is what it is. But the the dying woman's last request kills me because it's like, okay, it doesn't matter what you want. If he's married, he's off the menu. Sorry. You know? And it's funny because we were watching and again, no shade to Sara Douglas here, but if you were Pierce Brosnan's character, if you were Steele and you had to pick between Shannon and Laura

Eric: 2:45:47

No contest.

Sara: 2:45:49

It's yeah. I mean, on on pure attractiveness alone, it's Stephanie's opponent. And it's weird, but it's weird that some some of the affairs that you see, the Hollywood affairs that you see, it just popped in my head because we were watching last night, we were watching Connie and the Barbarian because I had never seen it. And so my husband put it on, and he mentioned something about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his accent being very rural and considered like the equivalent to hillbilly accent in Germany, which is why he doesn't dub his own films in German because his accent is even weird over there.

Eric: 2:46:23

Really?

Sara: 2:46:23

Yeah. So I I Googled it, and I was I was reading into a bit of like, I I knew he had an affair, and that's what ended his 25 year marriage to Maria Shriver. That was on the tabloids. It was everywhere. Mhmm. I knew he slept with the nanny. I didn't know that he fathered that she fathered his child, and that's what led to the affair getting exposed because the kid looked an awful lot like him, and it became way too hard for you know? But I looked up this woman, and again, not trying to insult anybody here, but the nanny this is a a movie star. You always expect the nanny to be 10 years younger and, you know, blonde and with all the This was a middle aged woman who looked every much just like a middle aged woman, not hideous or anything, but certainly not somebody you'd think he'd blow up his marriage to his gorgeous wife for. And it's just so bizarre that some of the affairs that you see sometimes where it's like, that was worth destroying your your whole life for? Like, what is Yeah. What's wrong with you? Like, it just you know, it's and and this is the same thing. Like, she's she's treating it like it's just some, you know, oh, it's my last wish. We should definitely get married. No. Yeah. That's not how it works.

Eric: 2:47:47

Not how it

Sara: 2:47:48

works at all.

Eric: 2:47:50

Well, at the Lindstrom Fine Art Gallery, the doors are locked. There's a sign on the door that says closed. As Laura peers in through the small glass panes in the door, Metzger again urges they call Steele. Ignoring his urgings, Laura straightens up, definitely looking straight at Metzger. She or defiantly looking straight at Metzger, she blindly blindly, mind you, reaches into her purse and pulls out her lockpick kit and still looking at Metzger unzips. She knows right where that thing is in her purse. Yep. She doesn't even have to look to find it. Knows where it's at.

Sara: 2:48:29

She yeah. She's mad. She every time, shouldn't we call Steele? Shut up, worm.

Eric: 2:48:36

Finally breaks eye contact, looks at the kit, selects a pair of tools, and then returns the kit to her purse, then proceeds to pick the lock on the door, occasionally glancing around to ensure that she isn't observed. After a moment, she pushes the door open and announces to Metzger, after you.

Sara: 2:48:52

Why isn't there an alarm, though? Like, I I understand that she's opened the door, but theoretically, there'd also be an alarm you have

Eric: 2:48:58

alarm. Yeah. Yeah. You would have all doors and windows alarmed and skylights too, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Alarmed. And when when you're gone, you turn the alarm off and anything that that disturbs 1 of those and opens it enough to be open should set off the alarm.

Sara: 2:49:16

Yeah.

Eric: 2:49:17

Yeah.

Sara: 2:49:17

It's a fine art gallery.

Eric: 2:49:19

Well, and that's part of the failure of Laura on this this point because we find out later, of course, that Metzger is part of a setup Yeah. Which means that the Lindstrom Gallery is part of a setup, which means that they just found a place and decorated it. And they didn't bother to put in an alarm because they presumed that they wanted her to break into it. If it is caused

Sara: 2:49:44

Like, if it really is a legitimate art gallery, they turned off the alarm ahead of time.

Eric: 2:49:48

Yeah. But that should have clued Laura in that something about this picture ain't quite right.

Sara: 2:49:54

She's too focused on being mad at Steele for the Shannon situation, being mad at herself for what she did with Tony, and being mad at Metzger for, shouldn't we call Steele? Shouldn't we call Steele? There that's those 3 things have taken up all our brain space. Yeah.

Eric: 2:50:12

Let's see. Let's see. Yeah. After you, not bad, Metzger says with enthusiasm, and inside they begin to look around. They each go down different wings of the gallery until Laura spots an open space on a wall with a display card next to the blank area. She loudly clears her throat, getting Metzger's attention, and then giving him a come here gesture with her finger, points out the obviously missing artwork. Metzger hangs his head and in agitation says, he knew it. Calmly, Laura tells Metzger that since the painting appears to be missing, their next step is to call or their next step is to find Eric Lindstrom. No, Metzger says, telling her that he'll tell her what the next step is. They're going to find Remington Steele. That's who they're going to find. It's time to call in the big guns, little lady. Well, if the alarm didn't trigger red flags going off in Laura's head, this should because up until now, Metzger's desire to have Steele involved in the investigation, it's understandable. He he might naturally want the head of the agency on on his case. But so far, things have been progressing nicely. Nothing's gone wrong apparently. So why the sudden outburst? And in the context of the circumstances, why the insistence on stopping the progress of the case to bring Steele in? I mean, for all he knows, this is the normal operating procedure for the agency, so there's really no rational reason for him to question it and to start suddenly making demands on the handling of his case.

Sara: 2:51:44

And I think you're right. I'm not gonna say you're not right. I think the only reason why Laura hasn't clued into it is because she's there's all these little things that she's angry about right now, and 1 of them being the clients assuming both not just the guy in Steele's office, but the woman that she spoke with. Like, all of these clients so far assuming that she slept her way into her job, and she's probably just chalking this up as another. She's not thinking clearly enough. Like, I think if those if that situation hadn't happened, she'd be like, why are you so eager?

Eric: 2:52:19

Okay.

Sara: 2:52:20

What what's going on? But because of that, plus Tony, plus immigration, plus it's all a big mess.

Eric: 2:52:27

Jumbo on her head. Yes. She's she's confused. So anyway, at next week, we see that next week, I are looking at Mildred in the office answering the phone. At 1st, Mildred is speaking to mister Metzger, telling him that no, mister Steele isn't in. Then it's apparent that Laura has taken over the phone from Metzger when Mildred says, oh, hi, hon. Sounds like we've had a bad connection. And then we jump to the other end of the conversation, and it's Laura on a payphone, an agitated Metzger standing by. Yes, Laura says, but she thinks she's cleared up the problem. Then she asks if if mister Steele left a number. Laura digs into her purse for a notepad and a writing utensil. But after a few a few few few I've got this word from Dick Van Dyke coming into my head. I've got Fruitless written down. It's it's a fruitless search. Yeah. But in this Dick Van Dyke episode, this high school kid was madly in love with Laura, but he kept telling Rob was talking to Rob about it, but he wasn't revealing who his crush was. He was saying it was brutal. It was brutal. I'm just sorry. I got to that in my notes, and it just wanted to come out wrong and anyway, where was he? Yes. After a fruitless moment of search, Metzger, into disgust, pulls the pen out of his pocket and hands it to her. She jots the information down, hangs up, then turns to Metzger and assures him that this really isn't necessary. Firmly, Metzger asks, are you going to call or am I? And after glaring at each other for a moment, Laura gives in, opens the notepad for the number. Metzger gives a gives a recorder. Call someone who cares.

Sara: 2:54:21

Yeah. Right. Thank

Eric: 2:54:22

you, Travis Tritt. He he had a song called Here's 0.25 Call Someone Who Cares. Yeah. Good song, by the way. Classic country style. A phone rings in Shannon's hotel room, and we have a back and forth between Shannon and Laura. Laura's shocked that a female answered, and she very formally asks for Remington Steele, please, missus Steele calling. I'm afraid he's indisposed at the moment, Shannon says. Then she listens for a moment and repeats, 324 Laurel Vista, and then adds, I'll tell him just as soon as he gets dressed. Ciao, darling. Shocked, mouth agape, Laura hangs up the phone, and she smacks it with the palm of her hand in frustration. She tries to gather her wits about her and then turns to face Metzger.

Sara: 2:55:12

I get that she's again, I get I get it. I get this whole situation. She's gotta know that this Yeah. And I literally, Felicia tried this once before Mhmm. And she didn't buy it. She she Yeah. She didn't buy it then. She was like, Not

Eric: 2:55:31

only that, but Laura knows that Steele didn't fall for it either.

Sara: 2:55:37

Exactly. So this should be it should it should be I I can understand she'd be angry. She'd be pissed off that this woman is still around, that she hasn't gone away. Mhmm. But she's gotta know that he's not sleeping with her. Yeah.

Eric: 2:55:58

But, you know, the script. You gotta have it for the script. Anyway, next, we see that the doctor slash enforcer enters Shannon's bedroom. He isn't happy. You never said anything about a missus Steele, he accuses. Snatching up her brandy glass, she stands to confront him. Nasty habit listening on extensions, she scolds. It's the way I find out things, he snaps. Don't worry about her, Shan says dismissively. I'm paid to worry, and the fellow what pays me ain't gonna like it, he says. His words and tone are an implied threat. So don't tell him, she says. Nothing's changed. I'm still going to be missus Steele. What about her? He insists, pointing at the phone. Shannon turns to face the phone and states, as good as gone. Next, it was a dark and stormy night.

Sara: 2:56:56

It was Paris in the springtime. It always rains in Paris.

Eric: 2:56:59

Thank you, Sniffy. No. It's it is a dark night, but not the Batman kind. No. We are at a huge Victorian style mansion. It's dark. No lights on inside or out. It doesn't appear deserted, but it does look as if there's no 1 there. Metzger whispers to Laura that he wishes Steele were there. Mhmm. Clearly starting to get annoyed at Metzger.

Sara: 2:57:24

Then why don't you marry him? That would be my you want him so bad? Then why don't you marry him?

Eric: 2:57:32

Laura impatiently reiterates that he's in conference with a client and will catch up with him as soon as he's free. As soon as there's Boy, have I got typos. As they begin sneaking deeper into the house, a phone begins to ring, and Laura and Metzger freeze in surprise. A light goes on, and then the ringing stops, and we hear a voice say, hello. Eric Lindstrom here. Laura motions for Metzger to follow her, and they begin sneaking closer to the source of the light in the voice. The voice continues. So good to hear your voice. Wish I could talk, but I'm not in.

Sara: 2:58:11

I hate those answering machines.

Eric: 2:58:13

Oh, I do too. Do we need to discuss answering machines for our younger The answering

Sara: 2:58:17

machines were well, it's voicemail, but but on a tape. Yes.

Eric: 2:58:22

That you connected you physically connected to your phone in your home.

Sara: 2:58:26

Yeah. Exactly. But it just the the the cutesy ones irritate, like, hello, and then the pause. I'm not here right now. No. Don't do that. Or there was 1 I think it was in Seinfeld. I I I didn't watch Seinfeld. I I here's a Seinfeld reference from a show I did not watch. I didn't watch Seinfeld, but I think there was an episode where 1 of the characters, it might have been George, had set up their answering machine to the tune of the theme song for the American Hero show.

Eric: 2:59:02

Okay.

Sara: 2:59:02

And it was like, believe it or not, he's really not home. It was just like, no. No. You're a grown human. You're a grown up. You don't need to just, hi. You've reached so and so. I'm not in right now. Please leave a message. That's all you need. Anyway.

Eric: 2:59:18

Well, as as the voice talks and says, wish I could talk, but I'm not in, Laura and Metzger again freeze, but this time, it's in surrender as they let out a sigh of relief at the realization that it's just an answering machine. And then, of course, the answering machine concludes, Do leave your name and number after the tone. Thank you. Then a high peach high peached high pitched beep sounds. Say that 5 times really fast. Laura and Metzger enter the living room where the phone and answering machine sit on a large desk just as another voice sounds from the machine. Hi, mister Lindstrom. This is Tina from the LA Tribune. We haven't received your subscription payment yet. Could you please mail it in right away? Thanks. Laura looks around, moving behind the desk and eventually spotting a box attached to the wall outlet. She bends down for a closer look and then tells Metzger, timers. Lights come come on automatically. Well, if Lindstrom isn't here, then where is he? Metzger demands. Suddenly, shots ring out from outside the house. The 1st shot takes out the glass window. The 2nd takes out the lamp on the desk, and the 3rd takes out a glass figurine on the desk. As the shots begin, Laura rushes from the window towards Metzger, grabs him, and then throws him to the floor. After the 3rd shot, Laura and Metzger continue to lie on the floor for a moment, but no more shots come. Metzger 0.5 sits up and announces that next time he's waiting for Steele.

Sara: 3:00:47

Okay. And how would that have changed the outcome?

Eric: 3:00:50

Well, it wouldn't have. But, you know Yeah.

Sara: 3:00:54

I know. I'm just like, all 3 of you could get shot at? Yes. Cool. Alright. Glad we have glad we've had this chat. Yeah.

Eric: 3:01:05

Well, we come back from a commercial break, and we are still at the mansion, and it's still unlit and silent. Steele slowly approaches and then cautiously enters. He slowly moves through the entryway into the office where in the dark, someone, though we know who, attacks him. Steele grabs the assailant, throws them back onto the couch, and prepares to hit when the lights come on and Steele and Laura recognize each other.

Sara: 3:01:29

This is the 2nd time in the last few episodes that that's happened. We had that with Beg, Burrow and Steele when she attacked him and

Eric: 3:01:35

Mhmm.

Sara: 3:01:35

This 1. They seem to like this little trick.

Eric: 3:01:39

Yes. I'm sure it has its advantages. Getting up, Steele quips, conducting the investigation with your usual decorum, Alor?

Sara: 3:01:48

Was was that necessary? I mean, there's

Eric: 3:01:53

a lot of unnecessary stuff in this episode. Okay? Let's just leave it at that. And she excuses that she thought he was someone else. Metzger gushes with relief, glad to finally have Steele himself on the case. Steele tells Metzger that he got caught in traffic. I bet it was bumper to bumper, Laura retorts.

Sara: 3:02:13

That's a good that's a good lineback, though. I do.

Eric: 3:02:19

Steele confirms, yes, especially near the beach. But since the 2 of them have already plunged ahead, why don't they fill him in? Yep. Well, while you were not blowing your horn, someone was using us for target practice, she tells him tartly. Metsker nervously says, he's just an accountant. He's never been shot at before. And Steele tells him to calm down and don't panic. Laura encouragingly says that at least they know they're hot on Lindstrom's tail. Messker steps forward to confront Laura. Oh, listen, lady. You may be a good detective, but from now on, the head honcho calls the shots. On Lindstrom's desk, Steele finds a flight itinerary for Eric Lindstrom. LAX to Heathrow, Pan Am flight 20, leaving January 14, arriving January 15. Notably, the return flight is marked open.

Sara: 3:03:13

Yep.

Eric: 3:03:14

Almost correct. I found a copy of a Pan Am flight schedule for October 1986 effective through March 1987.

Sara: 3:03:24

Wow. That's dedicated. Okay.

Eric: 3:03:27

The flight information shows a Flight120 nonstop departing LA at

06: 3:03:33

45PM to Heathrow, except the date we see on the itinerary in Steele's hand is 01/14/1987, which is a Wednesday. And Flight120 nonstop from LAX to Heathrow flew on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Was no flight 1 20 from LAX to Heathrow on Wednesday, 01/14/1987. Nervously, Metzger asks Steele what the plan is. Steele surreptitiously folds the itinerary and then slips it into his pocket. In response to Metzger's question, he hems and paws for a moment, scratching the side of his face as in thought, then in a distracted manner says, the plan. Yes. The plan is that we continue to proceed according to the usual detective procedure, and Masker is clearly disappointed. That's a plan, he seems to be thinking? And gesturing to Laura, Steele directs her to keep him posted. And when she sharply asks where he's going,

Sara: 3:04:41

he

Eric: 3:04:41

excuses that there's a pressing matter that has arisen, which demands his immediate attention. As he pats Loracotte ascendingly on the shoulder, Metzger protests, pointing out that Steele just got there. Yeah. Steele grabs the man's hand and states that he's sure his associate here has explained that he functions best in an advisory capacity, assuring Metzger that he shall keep an eye on the case every step of the way. And, of course, Laura grimaces, her expression morphing from sour to put out to snide. Steele gives Laura a final carry on, missus Steele, and then departs. Laura, demeaningly both of Steele,

Sara: 3:05:20

though in

Eric: 3:05:20

absentia, and Metzger asks Metzger, well, was he worth waiting for?

Sara: 3:05:27

To be fair, Laura deserves that 1. But I wonder so he finds this this flight itinerary. He knows that Lindstrom's left the country. Mhmm. I'm hoping that he was planning on telling Laura that later, and he just kept it to himself because he 1st wanted to deal with the fact that he thought Shannon shot at her and not that he was disrupting her case on purpose because Yeah. Again, he he doesn't yet know that Lynn that the case is a

Eric: 3:05:57

A phony.

Sara: 3:05:57

Fake like, a fake. He he he thinks that she's pursuing a legitimate case and that

Eric: 3:06:02

And if she's and if he finds out that her prime suspect is already out of the country, that raises the question

Sara: 3:06:07

That raises the question. Yeah.

Eric: 3:06:08

Well, then who's shooting at us?

Sara: 3:06:10

Exactly. So I'm guessing he was gonna eliminate Shannon as a suspect 1st before

Eric: 3:06:15

Or just eliminate Shannon.

Sara: 3:06:17

Or eliminate Shannon. But because it kinda struck me as weird that he took it and and didn't show it to her right there. But then that would, as you said, cause Laura to say, okay. Well, if he's not here, who's shooting at me? Yeah. So

Eric: 3:06:32

yeah. Well, next, we're back at the Wiltshire Marquis, and Shannon opens the door to her darkened hotel room, and as she steps in, she turns on the light, only to be grabbed by Steele. He shoves her over to the couch, throws her down sarcastically demanding to know, isn't she out rather late for a woman with her delicate condition? And after she makes an obligatory complaint about the treatment, he demands to know where she's been. Out for a late night stroll. It does wonders for the heart, she excuses. Angrily, he demands to know if her constitutional involves taking potshots at Laura. Confused, she asks what he's babbling about. He pulls the itinerary from his her from his pocket, shoves it into her face, and angrily tells her that the only other person with reason to shoot at her the only other person with Rita with reason with reason with a motive. Oh, boy. Yes. English as a 1st language is very difficult. Angrily tells her that the only other person with a motive has left out 2 days ago. Try to act insulted, 0.5 amused. Shannon dismissively tells him that there are much more effective ways of eliminating this blushing bride.

Sara: 3:07:47

Wow. I'm

Eric: 3:07:48

sorry. That's not that's not helpful.

Sara: 3:07:50

That yeah. I was gonna say that doesn't that doesn't help your case, but okay.

Eric: 3:07:55

Slightly calmed down, Steele asks if she really cares for him as much as she says she does. She rises, trying to put her arms around Steele as she says, oh, darling, let me count the ways. Now Steele roughly throws her arms off his shoulder, grabs her arms, and then anger, again surging, begins ranting. If anything happens to Laura before I become a legal resident, I'm gonna be kicked out of my

Sara: 3:08:18

ear. Okay.

Eric: 3:08:18

You always did enjoy traveling, she interjects.

Sara: 3:08:22

Yo, ahead. He's a dumbass. This is a dumbass move. This is a stupid thing to do. Well Just hands her the leverage that she needs. It

Eric: 3:08:34

Yeah.

Sara: 3:08:34

Yeah. This is stupid. This is I don't know. It makes it makes 0 sense for his character. Again

Eric: 3:08:41

Yes.

Sara: 3:08:42

Frustratingly, we don't know this character. We don't know what their backstory is. We don't know why he has any any sense that he can trust her with this information. And not that Felicia was ever especially trustworthy, but we got the impression that there was at least a genuine care and respect for each other.

Eric: 3:09:03

Mhmm.

Sara: 3:09:04

Even if it wasn't always like, sometimes they betray each other. Sometimes they you know, what have you. But if I can see him asking, like, if you really care about me the way you say you do, you'll you'll back off because I need to be here. I'm gonna get kicked out. It's still stupid to trust her too because Mhmm. You know? But I could see him I think the fans watching it would be a little more understanding Mhmm. Of that conversation where he's emotional, Loris, he probably would never assume, like, as bad as as as much as they dislike each other that she would ever have her shot at. But Shannon, we have no there's no

Eric: 3:09:42

Yeah. We have no history of comparison.

Sara: 3:09:44

We have no background to her. So him just spouting out the entire thing to this person who clearly has an agenda Yes. And that agenda does not like, if he's if she's willing to go so far as to shoot at Laura as which is what he thinks that she did

Eric: 3:10:00

Mhmm.

Sara: 3:10:00

Then she's not gonna care that he needs to maintain this immigration facade. He's literally just handed her all the ammo she needs to to blow his life up.

Eric: 3:10:10

He's got enough

Sara: 3:10:11

Like

Eric: 3:10:12

information just from this within this episode.

Sara: 3:10:16

Yeah.

Eric: 3:10:17

Disregarding any information he has from her past. He's gotten enough information just from this episode to know that she cannot be trusted. She is out to to get between himself and Laura and Yep. Any way she can. Yeah.

Sara: 3:10:32

He he just handed it to her on a silver platter, and if Laura was Laura's behavior with Tony was stupid, this is equally as stupid.

Eric: 3:10:38

Yes.

Sara: 3:10:39

Come on.

Eric: 3:10:41

Anyway, she says, you always did enjoy traveling. He says, I'm also looking at 5 years in prison. Shannon shakes her head saying, she doesn't understand. Breathing deeply, Steele is quiet for a moment, pausing to regain control of his anger, perhaps considering how forthright he needs to be to get her off his back. After a moment, he continues. Immigration found out about his phony passport. The only way to avoid being deported was to marry an American citizen. Little Lulu to the rescue, Shannon says bitterly. Only we didn't have time for a proper marriage, so I manufactured the appropriate documents. Dude. Shannon is thrilled. He isn't legally married. Didn't have to

Sara: 3:11:21

add that part. He didn't have to add that part. He could've just said we had to get married really quickly, and we have to convince immigration that the marriage is legitimate, and it is legitimate. He could've just said that part, but, no, he Yeah. He gives her the the gun and the bullet, and then he loads it for her and points it out of space. Like

Eric: 3:11:41

And and then picks it up and picks up her hand with the gun and holds it against his head. Yeah.

Sara: 3:11:46

And then drives a little target out and shoot here.

Eric: 3:11:48

Yeah. And he says, and there's a bunch of bureaucrats out there who are eager to prove it. If they succeed, I'm gonna spend the next 5 years of my life in the pokey. He points his finger at her and emphasizing each word asks, now, do you understand? And of course, Shannon is ecstatic. She puts her arms around him answering, yes. She understands perfectly. And then he warns her, stay away from Laura. She pulls him into a hug declaring that she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Next, we have a hard cut to Shannon dressed to the knights and wearing the most obnoxious hat they could have found in

Sara: 3:12:29

1 room. Yeah. It really is.

Eric: 3:12:31

And she's in an, as of yet, unidentified office and states emphatically, Remington Steele's marriage is a complete and total fraud. A door behind her closes, and then we see from behind her, Gladys Lynch steps into view asking, care to elaborate, miss Wayne? Miss Lynch steps around Shannon and to the desk that's in the room where Tony Rouselli is sitting. What more is there to say? Shannon says. He told me that it was merely a ploy to keep him from being deported. I knew it, Lynch declares. Roselli gives Lynch a side light a side eyed look and then asks Shannon, why did he confide in you? We were she pauses for effect and smiles, feigning embarrassment. Well, how shall I put this? We were in the throes of ecstasy when it just slipped in slipped out.

Sara: 3:13:27

Okay. Putting aside the it just slipped out comment. Throws of ecstasy? That's how you that's she could have just said we were having an intimate moment, and he accidentally let it he accidentally like, you don't need to go into the Yeah. Graphic deep. It's like, okay. Here's a Buffy reference.

Eric: 3:13:51

She she's she's she's she's she's shooting for Charlotte Knight's job. That's

Sara: 3:13:55

that's Yeah. Here here's a Buffy reference. Okay? There's an episode where Buffy sleeps with a character, and she comes back to her dorm room, and Willow is all excited about it, and she says, tell me everything. Paint me paint me a picture. Not a you know, not everything. Just maybe a blurry watercolor. You know? Like, you don't need the whole

Eric: 3:14:17

Yes.

Sara: 3:14:18

It throws of x throws of ecstasy. Anyway

Eric: 3:14:25

Tony comments, nice image. Yeah. And then he wants to know what's in it for her. She sits down on a chair and in an overly dramatic fashion says, your children deserve a name, mister Rosselli. And Rosselli leans forward, seemingly shocked at the apparent revelation, and asks, you and Steele have children? She smiles and immediately begins inventing a family. Derek, a darling little toe head, and Bettina, and she begins to fake cry, pulling out a handkerchief to dab her not quite crying eyes.

Sara: 3:14:58

Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: 3:14:59

A sad eyed beauty. She And misses her father so Lynch, apparently taken in by the story, but not so much as to melt her heart of stone.

Sara: 3:15:10

Don't think she has a heart.

Eric: 3:15:13

Says, yeah. Well, she'll be missing him for another 5 years at least. And Roselli adds, we need your statement in writing. And faking confusion and concern, Shannon asks, whatever does she mean? Another 5 years. Mandatory prison term, Lynch informs her. Shannon stands faking sudden concern and regret at her decision. Oh, no. I could never do that. What would I tell the wee ones? And at this point, Raceli, if he hadn't figured it out before, started to realize Shannon's story is suspect. Yes.

Sara: 3:15:46

Have a question. Mhmm. An immigration question, and I don't wanna get into current politics, but I I was under the impression that if you were found, you know, faking something in order to stay in the country, they did just send you back. I didn't realize Yeah. It it seems a little weird to put somebody in prison that's not supposed to be in the country, put them in prison there and then send them home?

Eric: 3:16:08

Well, there's nuances. They have, depending on the nature of their crimes, the option of just straight deporting them or imprisoning them if they're found guilty of the crime and then deporting them. And it's gonna depend on the nature of the crime.

Sara: 3:16:31

It just seems a

Eric: 3:16:32

little light. Also possibly also the the concern over the likelihood of that person trying to return into the country. I mean, if if you deport them and they come back in, you haven't really gotten anywhere. They're still back in.

Sara: 3:16:52

Right.

Eric: 3:16:52

If you keep them in jail, then you're still having to deal with them, but they're not out on the street doing whatever crimes they've committed, you know, again and again and again.

Sara: 3:17:03

Well, unless the crime was, like, extremely serious Mhmm. They would get back out at some point, and then you'd just be Yeah.

Eric: 3:17:09

But then you would deport them. Yeah. Then you'd

Sara: 3:17:12

deport So it seems to be a save money, just deport to start with. I don't know.

Eric: 3:17:16

I'm just But again, I think it it may have to do with the possibility or the likelihood or the the apparent likelihood of them possibly reentering the country. Okay. Gotcha. Anyway, so anyway, Shannon, after the comment about what would she tell the wee ones, and she says, unless you could wave that minor little detail and simply deport him. Roselli gets a thoughtful look on his face and mutters, it could be arranged, and Shannon quickly jumps at the idea asking, in writing? Miss Lynch leans forward, hands on the desk, and sternly reminds Rosalie that chapter 38, paragraph 17 of the immunization and naturalization Immigration and naturalization code clearly states that and of course, Tony's Tony's had enough of her. He says, Gladys Yeah. Take a walk. Lower your blood pressure. And miss Lynch stamps stamps stomps out of the office. Stomps out of the office. Shannon is grinning like a Cheshire cat and asks Oh, yeah. She's where do I sign?

Sara: 3:18:29

I I think that Gladys Lynch has the rule book where her heart should be.

Eric: 3:18:34

Yeah. Well but, know, sometimes, unfortunately, sometimes people have their heart where the rule rule book should be or where the rule book is.

Sara: 3:18:42

Well, that's that's what Estelle had. That's that was the other side of things was Yeah.

Eric: 3:18:48

Well, next, Shannon steps out of an elevator into a parking garage, removing her hat as she does. As she walks away, she passes a man wearing a safety breathing mask, rubber gloves, and boots, operating a sprayer. Safety tip, ladies. Anytime you're in a parking garage and pass someone with a sprayer

Sara: 3:19:04

They're gonna kidnap you.

Eric: 3:19:06

You're in deep doo doo. Yes. She walks through the parking area to presumably her car, which also just so happens to be parked next to a van marked pest control. Get the joke. Another man She

Sara: 3:19:19

is a pest.

Eric: 3:19:21

Yes. Another man dressed like the 1st approaches. Well, of course, that's that's what,

Sara: 3:19:26

you

Eric: 3:19:26

know Yeah. A spooky agency would call people that get in their way, a pest. Another man dressed like the 1st approaches points a nozzle of his sprayer at her and cuts loose. As she begins to cough, choke, and collapse from the effects of the spray, the 1st man comes up behind her, and then the 2 men grab her, 1 by the legs, 1 by the shoulder, and they lift her into the van. The man takes off their protective masks, get into the van, and then drive away. At the office, Steele enters. Mildred is at her desk on his way to the Laura's

Sara: 3:19:55

Mildred looks good. That's a nice dress. Sorry. We comment on Laura's fashion, but Mildred's got, like, a nice little dress going on there.

Eric: 3:20:01

Anyway It's a little I liked it. Flashy. But

Sara: 3:20:08

I think it I don't know. She she deserves to be flashy.

Eric: 3:20:12

Well, it's middle aged flashy,

Sara: 3:20:16

which Yeah.

Eric: 3:20:17

You know

Sara: 3:20:18

It works for it works for Mildred.

Eric: 3:20:20

Yeah. Okay. Fine. Doesn't work for me, but okay. Let's see. Mildred's at her desk. On his way to Laura's office, Steele asks Mildred if Laura's in. Mildred grabs him and says, we gotta huddle. Make it quick, he urges. He holds up the itinerary, telling her that he has a fascinating new development on Metzger matter. She reminds him that he told her to check Tony the tiger. Excitedly, she tells him the results. Nada. Goose egg. He looks at her like she's not making sense. Don't you get it? He's not an archaeologist. There's no record that he was ever in Mexico. As a matter of fact, there's no record that he exists at all. She covers her mouth as a thought of her you think the little woman made him up too?

Sara: 3:21:04

I love that that's where Mildred's mind goes right away. Like, he doesn't exist. Maybe she made him up too.

Eric: 3:21:13

Great. Highly unlikely, Steele tells her. However, let's not burden her with this information. Okay? He pats his mouth as if trying to keep something from spilling out. Steele steps toward his office, but Metzger and Laura emerge. Steele tells Mildred to book herself and mister Steele on the 1st flight to London. Seems that a friend of mister Metzger's ran into mister Lindstrom at the Thames Garden Hotel. Okay. When your client is coming up with clues, be careful. Yeah. That's all I

Sara: 3:21:42

need Oh, look. What a what an interesting piece of information I have just found and never seen before.

Eric: 3:21:47

Yeah. Ambassador says, he had the nerve to invite him up to the Presidential Suite for tea. Mildred says, who says crime doesn't pay? Yeah. And Laura says she's confirmed with the airline that Lindstrom landed 2 days ago. Steele crumbles up the itinerary and tosses it behind him, Laura noticing that, and he tells Laura that this is what he loves about her. She's always 1 step ahead of the game. Piccadilly Circus, here we come, Mildred explains exclaims excitedly. We? Laura questions.

Sara: 3:22:19

Right?

Eric: 3:22:20

Oh, come on, Mildred whines. I was a big help in Mexico, and you'll be an even bigger help right here, Laura says patronizingly. Mildred has a sudden revelation. Wait a minute. If Lindstrom's flown the coupe, then who shot at you 2 last night? Steele perhaps, not totally certain that Shannon wasn't behind it, dismisses Mildred's concern saying, we're detectives, Mildred. Everybody shoots at us. You know that. And Laura, clearly recognizing that Mildred has a point, but unable to connect dots to any specific individual, excuses that obviously Lindstrom hasn't accomplished. Steele begins rambling as he and Laura make their exits. And Mildred seems slightly upset at 1st.

Sara: 3:23:06

Wait a minute. Someone when he says tally ho, get the galoshes.

Eric: 3:23:14

Mildred seems slightly upset at 1st, but then with a glance at the seemingly perplexed Metzger turns sad. We see the alleged pest control van racing between small planes at an airport then into a hangar filled with classic warbirds, an f 4 u Corsair, p 51 Mustang, a Spitfire, and a 20 g plane Alright. I'll back, couldn't see enough of to identify. The van comes to a stop and the men get out. From beneath 1 of the planes, specifically the Spitfire, we see a set of legs of a man coming and walking out from the back. As the man comes from behind the plane, he ducks under a wing and comes out, and we see that it is Roselli. He asks the man, how did it go? She's out like a light, but who is she? Loose end, Roselli says. Come on, Tony. Give us a clue. The man wearing the coveralls, the name Dan insists. You went outside channels on this 1, and we could all get burned.

Sara: 3:24:08

So here okay. Here's the question. Because we find out later on that Tony has been on the outs with his agency.

Eric: 3:24:14

Mhmm.

Sara: 3:24:15

For 3 years. That's why he's been in South America. And yet, he seems to have these guys who are on the in Mhmm. Helping him out. And then they're saying, we went outside channels on this 1. If he's totally on the outs, how he wouldn't like

Eric: 3:24:31

He's got friends. Okay? He they're not in a position of authority, which is why he's on the outs, but he's got friends, and they're willing to go outside of channels after he's he's contacted them and says, hey. Look. I need some help on something. You guys know I got screwed by, you know what's his name? And

Sara: 3:24:52

Yeah. I don't know.

Eric: 3:24:53

I've got a plan to get back in, but I need some help. I got this gal that says she's trouble. She's a pest. Get the van.

Sara: 3:24:59

Literally pest.

Eric: 3:25:00

And so they go outside of channels, pick her up, help him out, strictly off the record, you know, but that's that's the way it works.

Sara: 3:25:10

Yeah.

Eric: 3:25:13

If you don't believe me, just go ask the CIA. They'll tell you.

Sara: 3:25:17

Oh, I'm sure they will. Yeah.

Eric: 3:25:21

Oh, Tony merely says that he's got something heavy going down and she got in the way. Man wearing the coveralls, the name tag Ed reads with the name tag Ed asks Roselli what he wants her them to do with her. He says, put her on a plane to Singapore. He gives a sardonic chuckle in disbelief. There won't be any questions about this, Rosselli assures him as he hands them a diplomatic passport. Dan comments that it looks like she's got a healthy pair of lungs. Shame about the accidents, Tony says with mock sympathy. Had to bandage up her whole face. Now that ought to keep her quiet, Dan concludes.

Sara: 3:25:58

So a diplomatic passport can just get you anywhere? Like, I don't know what that is. Like, and and and I don't know

Eric: 3:26:10

that it necessarily can get you anywhere, but it carries a lot of weight, and it can, I think, help you avoid certain inspections and

Sara: 3:26:24

And I'm guessing he had it's it's it's gotta be fake? Right?

Eric: 3:26:28

Oh, It's fake.

Sara: 3:26:29

Okay. Because

Eric: 3:26:30

Well, it's it's fake in the in the in the sense that it's not legitimate Yeah. But it's probably real in the sense that it's a real genuine document that has been altered to fit their purpose.

Sara: 3:26:44

Okay. I just Googled it. It says an official identity document issued by a national government to state sanctioned diplomats, high ranking officials, and authorized delegates traveling aboard on state abroad on state business. I just have to think it would be really hard to fake something like that, but okay.

Eric: 3:26:59

Hey. The the government prints it. The government can get it to use it for, you know, underhanded purposes.

Sara: 3:27:07

It reminds me of did you ever see the movie Argo? No. Okay. So do you do you know the story behind it, though? I mean, the movie was embellished, to say the least. No. But okay. So it it was story, loosely based on a true story during the Iran Hostage Crisis. And

Eric: 3:27:24

Oh, the that's that's the only true part. There was an Iran hostage crisis.

Sara: 3:27:28

There were so basically, during the Iran hostage crisis, obviously, you had, like, a bunch of US citizens at the consulate that when things went south, they 6 of them got stuck in the country. Mhmm. And they were taken to the Canadian ambassador's house and hidden there for for weeks. And k. Like, the rest were taken hostage, and there was that like, the hostage crisis, but there were 6 that were hidden in this house, the Canadian ambassador's house. And he basically took an immense risk in hiding these people there because if they were found, you know, his him and his wife were there and and it became a joint government operation to get these 6 people out. And so the US government cooperated with the Canadian government, and the Canadian government issued 6 fake passports. Well, 6 passports for these people that were American citizens. They issued they they had never done this before. They issued 6 Canadian passports for these people, and then an American operative went in. His name was, I think, Tony Mendez, I wanna say. I could be wrong on that. But he went in and basically brought them out under the guise of them being a film crew, like a scouting location for scouting a fake science fiction movie. And they actually had to create like a fake, like, office for the movie and promotional posters for the movie and make it look as if there was a a movie that these people were, like, scouting this location to do, and he brought them out that way. And the movie that was made, Argo, kind of like gives all the glory to the Americans and sort of ignores the risk that the Canadian ambassador took, which, to be fair, his risk was a lot larger because he was there for a lot longer and but whatever. It was a joint it it worked. It got them out. They were safe, but that was the 1st time our government had ever issued passports that weren't on the up and up. So that's why when he just hands her this this diplomatic passport, I'm like, you don't those don't don't grow on trees.

Eric: 3:29:32

Yeah. No. See see, because the government prints the original passports themselves, they can I mean, they can put anything they want to on it? Yeah. So the document is is a legitimate US government document. It's just got fake data on it.

Sara: 3:29:48

Oh, okay.

Eric: 3:29:48

It's a little bit like back in the nineties, Microsoft was really fighting against pirated copies of Windows. Right. And I was working for a company and we were buying copies of Windows through unofficial channels. And I suspect that they were not legitimate version or legitimate licensed copies in the sense that Microsoft wasn't getting paid for them

Sara: 3:30:17

Fair.

Eric: 3:30:18

From the from the people that manufactured them. But they had legitimate serial numbers on them. And my suspicion was always that the companies that were producing these for Microsoft legitimately were also producing these other copies for themselves and selling them on the side. Because again, when you're producing something, you can create a false version of it, and it's it's legitimate in the sense that the people that create the legitimate ones also created this fake 1.

Sara: 3:30:47

Yeah.

Eric: 3:30:47

It's you know? So yeah. So there we go. Where

Sara: 3:30:53

were we here? Sorry. I I derailed it.

Eric: 3:30:56

Yeah. Sure.

Sara: 3:30:57

It was my fault.

Eric: 3:31:03

Yeah. Ought to keep her quiet. Tony's just

Sara: 3:31:05

Shame about the accident. That's where

Eric: 3:31:07

we were. Yeah. Shame about the accident. And a badger to her whole face. That ought to keep her quiet, Dan concludes. Tony assures them that if he can pull this off, he's back in business and he won't forget them. He shakes their hands and the 2 men turn to return to the van, and Tony slinks off into the shadows. Back at the van, they open the rear hatch just as Shannon is coming to. Seeing the men, she startles and begs them not to hurt her. She's got a weak heart. Right. Dan tells her to relax. Nobody's gonna hurt her. She insists that she needs her pills and that they're in her purse. Dan bends down to pick up her purse and find her pills, giving Shannon the chance that she needs to grab the sprayer and douse him. He collapses. The commotion is enough to bring Ed over, and as he steps from behind the van door to see what's going on, Shannon douses him as well. Once Ed is down, she grabs her purse and makes her getaway. Then we see Metzger at a payphone. He punches in a number and waits. After a moment, he speaks. It worked. Steel's on his way to London. Then we cut to an office phone being hung up, the camera pulls back and rotates to reveal Roselli. He begins rubbing his hands together, then leans back in his chair smiling.

Sara: 3:32:21

If he had a mustache, he'd be twirling.

Eric: 3:32:23

Twirling it. Yes. Evil evil evil dude. Yes. Yeah. I think we've destroyed that episode. I mean

Sara: 3:32:34

Yeah. I do like the 2nd 0.5 of this 2 parter. The 2nd 0.5, think, is is fun for me anyway. The 1st 0.5 fills me with frustration, but, yeah, we'll get there.

Eric: 3:32:46

Yeah. It's Yeah. Again, it's you you could argue that they're trying to set up a very complex situation, and so that's why we have all this jumbled, you know, mess of a you know, like your spaghetti, your beans, your mashed potatoes, everything all dumped together, mixed together on a plate, but it's it's still a mess. Yeah. If they had if had more time if they had more time for these, it might have been less chaotic, made more sense, you know, if instead of a 1 hour well, okay. Instead of 2 hour episode, they had a 4 hour episode. That might have worked better, but it's just it's there's there's they're trying to get too much into too little time.

Sara: 3:33:42

Yeah. The weakest point is the Shannon character, which unfortunately couldn't be helped in terms of actress availability, but at the same time, it kind of, like, pulls a lot of the story down because Laura's reactions don't make as much sense. Steele's reactions don't make as much sense. Yeah. The character is inconsistent, and it just sort of she's the hinge in the episode, and it doesn't work as well. She's not quite as important in the 2nd 0.5. She's rusty. But, anyway Yes. Moving on. Moving on.

Eric: 3:34:13

Yes. Alright. Well, if we don't have anything else to add, I'm presuming we don't. No. I don't think so. We have a website, steelwatching.com. You'll find show notes. I will go ahead and throw in an Amazon link to up Periscope. It's a repeat, but why not? Give us

Sara: 3:34:30

something Don't forget arsenic and old days.

Eric: 3:34:33

Oh, yes. Arr arr arr. Arr, baby. And Nick and old days. Yeah. I forgot about that 1. How did that slip by? Yeah. I I gotta admit, I had a really tough time getting through the notes on this 1. In fact, the whole season 5, I've had a tough time getting through the notes on them. It's just it's it's been more of a chore than it had in the last 4 episodes 4 seasons. But anyway, yes, Arsenic and Old Lace. Then we've got links to other resources such as

Sara: 3:35:09

The Facebook page, Twitter, and Instagram page. There are also on the website links to, places where you can get merch or support us or buy us a coffee or whatever you want to do for the lovely event that is season 5. Sorry. Stray face. Trying. Trying. But, yes, we have all of those things, plus the officially unofficial, Steele Watchers Facebook group, which is not our group. We don't own it. We don't run it. But we do participate in it, and you should too.

Eric: 3:35:40

Yes. We crash it with all of our posts.

Sara: 3:35:44

They put up with us.

Eric: 3:35:45

Yes. Next episode, Steele Hanging In There Part Duh.

Sara: 3:35:49

Yay. I'm trying. Alright. Alright.

Eric: 3:35:55

Bye bye, everybody. We'll see you then.

Sara: 3:35:57

Bye bye.