Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Welcome everybody to Steel Watching the Podcast for Remington Steel fans. I am Eric and I got nothing.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

And I'm Sarah, and I want to throw Tony from the train. You know, like that movie from throw mama from the train. I would like to throw Tony from the train.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

I I wouldn't have a problem with that. Anyway, uh here we are, season five, episode five, Stealed with a Kiss, part one. Uh before we get into it, we had commented about how in Oh, the first episode of the season, The Steal That Wouldn't Die. How we kept commenting about their use of the word cancellations and their comment about don't say that word. And we it just didn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

And somebody posted in the Facebook group and I think they've got a valid point, but my response I think is just as um valid or even more valid. Their comment was, I believe the joke, stewardess, I don't think there were any cancellations. Steel, don't say that word. It's a sore subject. Was a break of the fourth wall. At least that's what they say that they've learned here in the Steel Watchers Facebook group. It used to be at least once more. Or it's it's used at least once more. I think Mildred says, Don't say that word at the end of the second half of that. And okay, yeah, it's it's entirely possible that that is a reference to the season four, season five fiasco that the network pulled on the show, cancelled, but not canceled. But as I pointed out in the Facebook group in response to this, if you have to explain a joke, it wasn't a very good joke.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Well, I don't think it's that. I don't think it's that at all. I actually think it's just because we're so far removed from it that the joke has lost its cultural relevance. Because I think if I had seen it, because the minute somebody posted that, I was like, oh, that makes perfect sense. I totally get it. I think if I had been watching the show in real time and they had and that had come up, I would have gotten it. I would have immediately okay, they're making a joke about the case because they've done that with other shows, and I've got it then at that point too.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Yeah, but but usually you set it up so that it can also apply to something else within the context of the episode. So that people who aren't necessarily immersed deeply in the show, the the lore of the show, the the history of the show, uh, there's a joke there for them and everybody for everybody else, it's like, oh yeah, I I know what they're saying here. That's the bet that's the best way to do it. And to just simply put it in there with no context to the rest of the episode. I'm sorry, it's it's bad writing. If you if you are relying on people having insight or knowledge for a joke to work, but you're telling the joke to everybody, you didn't do it right. That's my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

I think it's a good idea. Sorry, Robin. I I sorry, sorry, but you know there is a like a like a bunch of shows I can think of that did that very same thing, and just because I saw it at the right time, I got the joke. But like like Stargate, for example. Stargate when it like uh reached its, I think it was the 200th episode, they kind of like the whole episode was like a parody where they were brainstorming this absurd movie television spinoff concepts, including like a puppet version of the show, and like and then the studio decides to cancel it anyway. I mean that whole episode, but other like off-handed quotes, especially in the last episode where they said things like, Oh yeah, well, they thought they'd do this, but then they just decided to cancel it. Again, it wasn't really like you'd had to know what it was joking about at the time to really get it. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

What I'm saying is that they should have provided something within the context of the show, within the context of the episode to make that joke work on two levels. And I again I I say if if you are relying on people having inside baseball knowledge, but you're telling the joke to everybody, and you have to explain it to half the audience because they don't have that inside baseball knowledge, you didn't write the joke right.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

I think if they had given it another level, people would have missed the the meta purpose of the joke.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

I don't think the true fans would have. But at the time because again, the true fans, like you said, as soon as you heard that, oh yeah, okay, I understand it.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed that I missed it. I'm kind of embarrassed that I missed it. Like when somebody pointed that out, it was like, oh, how did I not see that?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Like, how did I but what I'm saying is that at that time, people who were in on the joke would have gotten the joke even if they had set it up so other people could get a joke, a different joke out of that same thing.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Oh, maybe maybe, but I still I kind of like I kind of like it. When somebody posted that and said that, I was like, okay, yep, I'm on board with that now.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah, I mean, I understand it, and I agree that that's probably what happened, but I still stand by my statement that they did it wrong. Anyway, enough of me being right and everybody else in the world being wrong. Sure. Yeah, have you got anything else that you want to throw in here before we get started?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

No, I actually I think that was it because I I was gonna say the same thing, but then you said it.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

So okay. Yeah, well, uh

Set up the episode's spy plot

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Stealed with Kiss Part One. First aired February 17, 1987, written by Robin Bernheim and Brad Kern, directed by our buddy Seymour! Seymour Robbie. And uh went with the TV guide on this. The Irish Castle Steel inherited seems to be the perfect hiding place for Tony until he can prove he's not a double agent. Meanwhile, Daniel Chalmers must deliver Tony to the KGB as part of a scam he's running. And I go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Sorry, I I just I have to say that as much as we've criticized season five, these last two episodes have so much crazy packed into them at one given time. Like, I kind of love the fact that they took a big swing with so many subplots going around. Like you've got the subplot of Daniel, you've got the subplot of the castle being, you know, the the running joke of all the bills, you've got the subplot of Tony, the KGB stuff. Like, it's it's kind of batcrap crazy. Like they really went for it.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Well, you know, speaking of the castle, yeah, I have to wonder, given its financial state, if the Earl of Claridge didn't give this to Steele some sort of a punishment.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

I wondered that too.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

You've kind of skipped ahead to my notes here, but I was like, wait a minute, did the Earl not know how deeply in debt he was, or was this intentional?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Like I mean, he had to know. At some level, he had to know. He may not have known the the nitty-gritty down and dirty details, but he had to know that uh yeah, we're beyond we're behind a few hundred years on the bills there, you know, or or was it one of those things where he was just like, Well, it's still a castle.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

What are you complaining about?

SPEAKER_00 7:44

You know? Really? I mean you know, that's it's like like being given a car that is just in pieces, and half the pieces are missing, and the pieces that are missing aren't available anymore, but it's a car.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Exactly. How why are you complaining? You've got a car.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

It may be in a a few different pieces, but you got a car. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Anyway, uh,

Arrive at Ashford Castle

SPEAKER_00 8:10

we start at a seaside dock, and after a brief establishing shot, we see Laura, Steele, Mildred, and Phony Tony exiting a ship. Laura asks Steele if the wire didn't didn't say that somebody was going to be there to meet them. Um, that was that was Tony that said that, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

No, no, sorry. I think it's Laura that says it.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Well, Steele gives Tony a very sour look, retorting that perhaps they weren't expecting such a large group.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

I like that line.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Tony pouts, says he'll get the bags. And as he steps away from the group, Mildred says that she'll keep an eye on him. Steele asks Laura if she doesn't find it uh the least bit uncomfortable to have a murderer along on their honeymoon. Well, he told us he was set up, Laura answers, adding that she's sure he'll give them the details in due time. That's an awful lot of faith in him, Laura. Undeserved faith.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

I would say that Steele knew that he was in intelligence and he knew that what he was what Tony was into was dangerous. And so it's not too much of a leap of faith to assume that Tony was set up when something went wrong. I'm not saying they should trust him implicitly. I I I think that a heavy degree of skepticism would be necessary at this point given all the lies he's told. But in the immediate moment, I can see why she tried to help him, although I wouldn't necessarily be like, come and live in our castle, stay with us, it's fine, it's cool. Yeah. You know, we'll we'll just shelter the you and the police like there's a middle ground here that they should have been finding.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yes, for that. And uh Steele's confidence. I I'm not sure he's he's really means it when he says he's sure that Tony will give them the details in due time. Because I mean, after all, if he's intelligence, he really can't.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Anyway, now maintaining his sour tone, Steele complains that the only details he's given him for the last four hours concerns his career and minor league baseball.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

So uh it's interesting that that part of his backstory is actually true.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

That's probably the only part of his his his his history that he's told them that is accurate.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Well, you know, they say if you're gonna uh if you're gonna create a false persona, you you need to keep it as close to real life as you can without giving you the details.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Well, actually, you know what? That kind of reminds me of, and sorry to derail to derail so early on. Well, why not?

SPEAKER_00 10:43

We do it all the time. Why why stop now? It's a tradition.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Exactly. My husband and I were watching the movie Point Break, and I don't know if you've ever seen it before, but it has Keanu Reeves in it and Patrick Swayze, and it's kind of a a bit of a backcrap crazy plot line as well. The uh concept of the film is that Reeves plays a young, he was only 25 at the time, a young FBI agent who is um pursuing these bank robbers who are calling themselves the ex-presidents because every time they rob a bank, they're wearing masks of various ex-presidents. So there's one as Nixon, one is LBJ, one is Reagan, etc. And um his partner, played by Gary Busey, believes that they're surfers, that these bank robbers are also surfers, that they because they they only rob banks during the summer, they only take as from the till, they never go get greedy and go for the vault, and then they basically disappear, come back, and they've never been caught. Like they've they're sort of a well-oiled machine. So he goes undercover as a surfer to try to find out who these bad guys are, and he gets close to Patrick Swayze's character who ends up being the bad guy. And we were sitting there and we're watching it, and we're like thinking about his the backstory that he tells them to sort of get in with these guys. And he tells them he's a lawyer and that one night they're playing football on the beach and he catches this really difficult pass, and they real they recognize him because he's using his real name as he's undercover, and they recognize him because he, before becoming a FBI agent, had a um very promising college football career and then destroyed his knee. And I turn to my husband and I'm like, this would not work now, because the movie came out in 1990, because I'm like, now they could have Googled him and found out you know that he was in the FBI. He used his real information. This just wouldn't work now.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

But in the comments, the name is not what you use. You use something similar to it so that you you it's close enough you can respond to it.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

But yeah, back to the bigger. But it was the name plus his his talent in football that caused the guys to go, oh, Johnny Utah, number nine. You were, you know, I saw you in the Rose Bowl, and it was like, oops. But they obviously didn't look too far into what he did afterwards, or they would have figured out that he was an FBI agent. So this is similar to Tony in the sense that he he gave some information about himself that was true, minor league baseball career, but the rest of it, mmm, not so true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Well, Laura assures Steele that that patience is a virtue. And she's returned to calling him Mr. Steele when she should be calling him by his first name.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yep. Anyway, well, I think at this point, though, they they know that Tony knows that the marriage is phony, so they've sort of dropped the pretense of trying to pretend it isn't.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yeah, but if you're gonna can if you're gonna continue to try and convince other people that one person knows doesn't mean you stop.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

I'm not disagreeing with you. I just think that that's kind of like that that's probably why.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Anyway, Steele answers, well, uh, to her comment about patience being a virtue, he answers, isn't it just? And then Tony and Mildred rejoin, with Tony carrying two suitcases. And I'm going to call bovine excrement here. Only two suitcases for the four of them? Steele and Laura each had at least one suitcase that we saw. And didn't Mildred show up with two cases, I think, just for herself a couple episodes back? And where's Tony's suitcase? Is he just gonna wear the same clothes for the next two weeks?

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Well, he left in a hurry, so I'm guessing he doesn't have a suitcase. And I'm maybe Laura and Steele aren't planning on wearing that much clothing, so they didn't, you know, bring it all. I'm just saying they might have packed light for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

It's gonna get cold in that castles, we'll see later.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Well, they don't know that yet.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Anyway, Tony asks about the ride, and when Laura says that it hasn't arrived yet, Mildred Snidley remarks, some royal treatment. A porter walks by. They're gonna get the royal treatment, trust me. Well, I mean, come on. They are Steele is a royal by title. I mean, if not, and I'll get it. A Duke?

SPEAKER_01 14:47

He's not actually okay. Well my notes are further down. We'll wait. Put a pin in that.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Put a pin in that anyway. A porter walks by pushing a cart full of luggage. Laura stops him and asks if he could give them directions to Glenn Cree. And what follows for some reason really is very much of a scene from Laws of Attraction. Which and I don't understand why people pan Julianne Moore's acting in that movie.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

I mean, first of all, she's a redhead, so everybody just so everything she does is is right. And yeah, I get it. Okay, I see where you're coming with this.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

But I mean, Elon Brosnan gets criticized for this movie with with someone, and I won't mention um somebody by the name of Antonio Quirk, the London evening standard by name, uh saying that surely the first law of attraction is that Pierce Brosnan isn't.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Uh Exque Me?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yeah. This is the man who turned James Bond into the kind of guy who owns a juicer. Oh, she can go suck an air.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Sit and spin on it. Like, what is that nonsense?

SPEAKER_00 15:53

She's a critic, of course, which means that she gets paid to be a professional hater.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

And she probably couldn't act her way out of a wet paper sack, so she's probably jealous.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Wow, that's that's impressive. That is impressive um nonsense that you can find to go after Prosnan as bonds. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

I mean, anyway, anyway, but what what happens is is this kind of uh Irish, I guess Irish humor, because uh the man says, Glencree, is it? Aye, you must be after a spot of trout fishing. And no, Steele clarifies they're trying to get to Ashford Castle. Well, two other men join the conversation, and one of them says, Ashford Castle, that's a wee bit north of Glencree. Not by way of Glencaren. Did somebody say Glencairn? We're trying to get to Glencree, Laura tries to clarify. Aye, you must be after a bit of trout fishing, the third man remarks. No, Steele says again, we need directions to Ashford Castle. Well, that's a wee bit north of Glen Cree, the third man corrects. We know that, Mildred says with a mildly patronizing tone. And the porter, in an annoyed tone, says, Glencree is a wee bit east of Glen Cairn. So deciding to take another tack, Laura asks, How do we get to Glencairen? The second man points, saying, Do you see that road over there? Well, don't be taking it. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

I love it, I love it, I love it. This actually makes me think of um Wingfield's Letters. Have you ever heard of uh Wingfield's Letters? Okay. You would love it. You would absolutely love it. Dan Needles created this, he's a playwright. He's he he had this like popular Wingfield series, which is very it's like super Canadian. He was born in Toronto in the 50s, and he sort of created this one-man show of like letters that his character, this this Wingfield, was writing to people. And like in 1985, it was the longest-running series in Canadian history with Letters from the Wingfield Farm. There were six sequels, including Wingfield's Progress, Wingfield's Folly, Wingfield Unbound, Wingfield on Ice, Wingfield's Inferno, and Wingfield Lost and Found. So, but there's one particular one where he's giving rural directions. Okay, and this is like his idea of Canadian direction. The Wingfield series, the premise is that Wingfield, Walt Wingfield leaves his stressful job as a Toronto stockbroker to farm a hundred-acre property in the fictional uh township near Larksburg, Ontario. And the stories are told as a series of humorous letters written by Walt to the editor of the local paper. And so that particular country-style rural directions uh featured in that series is when he says, you go to he says, you go down the town line until you reach the old brick church, the one that burned down last summer. But you don't turn there, you keep right on going, and when you reach the bridge at the fifth side road, well, it's about half a mile before that. So if you reach the bridge, you gone too far.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

And that's like his whole bit of like how to give directions in like rural Ontario. And it just made me think of that with the whole Glenn Cree exchange. I was like, oh yeah, that's that's Wingfield's letters right there.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

So yeah, if you've ever if you ever get a chance, it's really funny to watch.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

And yeah, that well, after all this, Laura sighs in frustration. Just as a man in a bowler hat smoking a pipe chimes in, Glen Cree, and he jerks his head and walks off. That's all he says is Glen Cree. So Lawrence Steele and Mildred and Tony, I guess they figure, hey, why not? We'll just follow him. So they do.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Sure. Yep.

Challenge Steele's new lordship

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Well, next we see that the man is taking up a position next to a classic Rolls-Royce and its chauffeur. And it looks to be a bit out of mid-1930s Rolls-Royce 20-25 HP sports a little bit. I'm gonna say 1934. Anyway, as the group approaches, the man assumes a formal posture, then introduces himself. McLean O'Flynn, Major Domo, head fact total, chief of staff at your service, your lordship.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Okay. And he tits. Here's where my notes are. I do not understand the the your lordship because inheriting property doesn't automatically make you a lord. According to what I've looked above, because I I I I I studied this when I was getting my history degree, and I was I I was listening to that, and I'm like, I thought to myself, I thought they abolished the like sort of automatic peerage system a long time ago. And I'm I I'm right. So inheriting an Irish castle does not automatically make someone a lord or noble. Irish titles of nobility were abolished or became defunct long ago. Owning historic property does not grant any legal peerage outside or aristocratical title to aristocratic title today, sorry. Land ownership versus titles. You can legally own a castle through a will or purchase without any royal or noble status. Ireland has no active peerage system, the state doesn't recognize old feudal titles for new owners, and buying land does not transfer ancient lordship rights. Those are separate legal concepts under Irish law. There was a ban enacted officially the modern state from creating any titles of nobility. It ruled that no Irish citizen may accept a foreign title of nobility or honor without prior government approval, and it established complete legal equality, meaning old aristocratic titles completely meaningless, or sorry, making old aristocratic titles completely meaningless in the eyes of Irish law. So he he inherited a castle, sure. That doesn't make him a lord.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Well, first of all, from what you just read, I d it doesn't seem like it abolishes the titles.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

It just abolishes the legal standing as No, the title is the legal standing. It abolishes all of it. As of 1937.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

So Well, um There's a bunch of people on TV shows and radio shows posing as doctors. And I don't mean actors, I mean as you know, talk show hosts that pose as doctors, and they use the title doctor even though they aren't technically doctors. And then there's a lot of people that have doctorates in other things that don't qualify for professional license titles of doctor that call themselves doctor and insist that everybody else call them doctor even though it's basically a meaningless title other than a piece of paper that they got from a college. And it could be that part of the the bestowing of the castle on steel said, hey, you know, tr traditionally the owner of this property is called the Duke. So I am bestowing upon you this title. It's meaningless legally, but you know here you go. It could also be just it's a tradition. You call the lord of the manor uh in a castle by whatever title of peerage is associated historically with that property. So historically this is owned by a duke so they just call him Duke because why not?

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Well technically it was owned by the Earl of Claridge and a Duke is different from a lord and an earl. Like they're not interchangeable. So he's I don't think he's a Duke That's not true.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Haven't you ever heard of the song Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Earl I have heard of that.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

But a Duke is the high like he's not he's I don't think it anybody says anywhere that he's a Duke. He's he's like I said the Lord of the Earl of Claridge left it to him and they're calling him your lordship but a lord is different from a duke.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

They're not okay well then they're calling him his lordship because he's the lord of the castle the lord of the manor and and it's still a title of peerage that he wouldn't immediately inherit.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Because dukes are addressed as your grace.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

An earl is addressed as my lord a Viscount is addressed as my lord a baron is addressed as my peerage title it's not to be used as a peerage title it's it's he's the lord of the manor.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

You know I could be the lord of the manor.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

No one's calling me your lordship well that's your problem you you haven't enforced it get on Scott Scott you will call me your lord your lordship get out that big old claw or whatever it is that you can't land doesn't mean you're called your lordship.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

This is just they didn't do their homework that's what this is it's fine I'll go with it but he's not technically a lord of anything wine wine wine wine you're just uppity because you you don't have those in Canada anymore. We never did actually I don't I don't think um we had because we we did have because we're descended from the British system we did have those titles they were British nobles that had come over to Canada but yeah we don't I mean technically the queen they weren't traditional Canadian titles.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

No no and see you're you're just mad because you lost them when you you kind of moved away from the out you know out of mom and dad's house over and into this other place and you can't the queen we still have the the well I guess it would be the king now the nobility on our money they're still our head of state so technically we do still have royalty.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Anyway the man in chauffeur's uniform introduces himself as Terrence O'Reilly principal chauffeur assistant mechanic associate transportation captain a great pleasure it is sir to meet your American lordship and grinning steel gleefully responds it's a pleasure to be met my good man a pleasure indeed I find it hilarious they consider him American which is and not only not it's just because he's coming from American he's clearly got an accent that indicates he's not from American that he's from the UK and considering everything that's happened with his citizenship and and status in the States the fact that they all consider him American is kind of funny.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Well his passport's American so I mean technically he is anyway to Laura Steele makes the a side that she and Mildred could learn a thing or two from these people and Laura gives him a just absolutely plaster on stiff smile in response.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Yeah but then the game piles into the car and they are off and we have a driving sequence showing off the Irish countryside until they finally arrive at Ashford Castle after everyone piles out O'Flynn leads them to the front door where the staff is lined up and turned out in their finest and about I count about 16 people in addition to O'Flynn and O'Reilly big staff.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

It's a actually for a for a castle that's small it's kind of a small staff but there's nobody living there so I guess it kind of makes sense but it looks like a scene right out of Downton Abbey.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Never seen it so I wouldn't know anyway O'Flynn announces to the staff that the new lord and master has arrived and everyone begins to applaud. After he thanks the staff Steele, Laura, Mildred and Tony begin walking past the staff toward the entrance and Steele comments to Laura that he thinks he's found his new true car yeah right just don't expect me to call you your lordship she warns certainly not he agrees no we'll save the pet names for the bedroom eh very hostile side you're not getting anything in the bedroom if you keep this up my God he is he like nobody has you know what blocked him the way he has blocked him I'm just saying talk about shooting yourself in the parts literally that's what he's doing. Yeah well did I relate that story I think I did maybe not uh years ago in Oregon there was a newspaper story about a guy who's woke up in the middle of the night and thought he saw a burglar at the foot of his bed grabs a gun from beside his nightstand and shot his wee wee off. Oh yeah yeah that's not good anyway once

Tour the castle's lavish interior

SPEAKER_00 27:51

inside we see a rather grand foyer uh I presume it's foyer where two men are standing at rigid attention and I'm guessing they were not outside to greet Steele and therefore not part of the earlier count which means that there would be 18 in addition to McLean and O'Reilly or O'Flynn and O'Reilly. As Mildred looks around in awe McLean suggests that his lordship must be tired after his long journey and wouldn't he like McLean to show his lordship to his chambers? Steele likes the idea so McLean tells one of the servants to show the other guests to the east wing and Mildred is so excited they have their own wing I have I have in my notes Mildred's flabbers are gasted when she exclaims they have their own wing because she's we have our own wing well McLean leads Steele and Laura to the master bedroom which is larger than the entire house my wife and I our four kids lived in for a number of years. It's bigger than my apartment easily yeah and I mean this bit we had four kids and our oldest were in high school and our house is smaller than that room.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

It's huge this is a huge room and you know what's funny about it is that the bed is obviously a normal sized bed it's it's probably even a king size bed. But because the room is so huge the bed looks tiny.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Tiny yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah and I mean also if I'm not out of line and with all due respect to the English nobility obnoxiously gaudy and it would drive me crazy not to mention nauseous to have to stay in that room for more than a day or two.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

I I couldn't handle it it's very like that was a lot of the castles had that sort of extreme opulence to them to the point where it everything's so busy. It doesn't matter where you look you're just looking at you know crazy wallpaper and and just everything. I don't disagree and a lot of the furniture is deeply uncomfortable. Like we I've I've been in a few of these castles when I was living there and and yeah it just it looks like somewhere that you'd want to look at but not live if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Yeah that's about it yeah yeah anyway despite the obnoxiousness of the room Laura and Steele seem impressed calling it very nice though it's a bit chilly Laura observes I look after it right away McLean promises and then asks if there's anything else they need. Steele assures him that there isn't. Well Mc McLean starts to leave but then stops and tells Steele that to be sure and let him know if there's anything that his lordship requires and Steele gives his solemn oath that he will and then McLean departs. Giddily Steele tells Laura that this place is beginning to grow on him like a bugus. I mean uh he says that he doesn't think that they should be too anxious to sell. After all, a man's castle is his home Laura agrees that it does have a definite romantic charm. Come on Laura I thought you had more taste than that as they walk toward the bed.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Okay

Explore Ashford Castle's real history

SPEAKER_01 30:58

can I can I inter interrupt with a little mini history lesson here.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Just of of the castle itself because I I I love castles and I I love learning about castles and visiting castles and this is a a real place. Unlike some of you know uh so it's mainly Victorian and medieval castle it is on on the county Mayo Galway border in Ireland and it's been expanded over the centuries turned into a five star hotel which is what it is now um which is pretty cool because like you can and it was previously owned by the Guinness family. So I think that's kind of yeah isn't that cool?

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Like hey check check check the basement check the you know the vaults down below old stock down there it might be pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah so it was built on the perimeter of a monastic site in 1228 by the Anglo Norman House of Burke and after more than three and a half centuries under the De Burgos whose surname became Burke or Bork Ashford passed into the hands of a new master following a fierce battle between the forces of the De Burgos and those of the English officials Sir Richard Bingham and Lord Present uh Lord President of Canaut when a truce was agreed, sorry. In 1589 the castle fell to Bingham who added a fortified enclave within its precincts and then Dominic Brown of the Brown family received the estate in a royal grant in either 1670 or 1678 and in 1715 the estate of Ashford was established by the Brown family in a hunting lodge in the style of a 17th century French chateau was constructed. The double headed eagles are still visible on the roof and they represent the coat of arms of the Browns and then in the late 18th century a branch of the family inhabited the castle in the early 19th century one Thomas Elwood was agent for the Browns at Ashford and was recording his living recorded as living there. So there's all kinds of different families that have lived there I'm just trying to see here what else it says that might be interesting. Here oh it says as well after being rebuilt because I guess there was some issues with it somewhere in that period but well according to Mildred it did it's been burned a couple of times. Yeah the Ashford Castle welcomed many famous presidents uh famous guest stories such as George V, the Prince of Wales among others who stayed with the Guinness family and the president of the United States Ronald Reagan paid the castle a visit as well. So then it it passed to Ernest Guinness and was later sold in 1939 to Noel Hugard who opened the estate as a hotel which became known for the provision of its county pursuits such as angling and shooting. So it's been a hotel for quite some time and yeah you can in 1970 it was bought by John Mulcahy it who completely restored it expanded it in size doubled the size put on a new wing in the 70s built a golf course developing the grounds and the gardens and in 1985 a group of Irish invest Irish American investors uh which included Chuck Feeney and Tony O'Reilly purchased Ashford the castle was sold by these investors in 2007 for 50 million euros to Galway based property investor Jerry Barrett and his family so you can still stay there it is um still a hotel as of 2013 most of the guests come from the US 60% and the rest come from other places obviously so that's kind of cool it opened reopened in 18 or 2015 following major refurbishment all 820 windows were replaced 820 windows my God a new lead roof installed and its stonework repointed so yeah I kind of want to go there I'd really like to stay there because I think it looks really cool. But yeah there's a brief history of Ashford Castle for everybody who doesn't care well uh let's see where were we here?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yes um sorry Laura agrees that uh has um Laura agrees that has a definite romantic charm as they walk toward the bed and then Steele says speaking of romantic charm if memory serves him well they still have some unfinished business to attend to right like he's forgotten it like he's just remembering it now like oh if memory serves we still haven't had sex let's do that like what Laura takes off her outer coat to reveal that she's wearing yet another coat. Another coat this is a weird outfit also known as a further obstacle to romance right like how many coats is she it's like one of those Russian dolls she's piled on coat after coat yeah she sits on the bed next to Steele they wrap their arms around each other and in an Irish accent Laura asks and what would you be hand after you swift tucking American A magical moment captured in a worthy setting he answers as he lays her back onto the bed and begins kissing her. But just as his periscope is about to rise to operating position there's a knock on the door Steele sits up looks to the side for a moment then patting Laura's leg urges her not to lose the mood watch door to door with Laura looking back or looking back at Laura as he does. When he opens it a scruffy looking man is there. He introduces himself as Lamo Matley of your lordship senior steam engineer steam engineer? Steele repeats back to the man sounds a bit grander than Furnace man.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I kind of love how they've like embellished their titles to the point where have you have you read some of the people's resumes on LinkedIn?

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Yeah okay you know janitor sanitation worker responsible for maintaining and and uh disposing of uh discarded company material you know yeah yeah yeah which is pretty ridiculous uh anyway um

Survive the castle's endless bills

SPEAKER_00 36:27

he's he clarifies that uh McLean O'Flynn was telling him that it's heat they'd be needing and Steele agrees yes it's it's a bit nippy in here and O'Malley says he'd be glad to stuck the furnaces up for his lordship if he'd just attend to the heating bill and he hands Steele a document which Steele opens and reads overdue account heating bill 98,000 pounds steel 9800 pounds yeah well there's a lot of rooms in the castle your lordship he O'Malley points out in a way that sounds as if he's suggesting that it should be obvious if you just give it a moment's thought you dummy um well yeah Steele offhandedly says that he's sure there are as he reaches into his pocket he pulls out a coin and hands it to O'Malley and then respond who responds with oh 50p yes consider it a down payment steele suggests I mean really really steel I mean for those of us who haven't got a natural clue about English money this is one half a pound now steele wants the coal supplier to consider one 196 thousandths of the bill to be acceptable as a down payment are you mad man no he's he's he's I don't think he literally legitimately that legitimately is trying to say this is down payment I think he's just kind of being rude and trying to get rid of the guy which is well yeah and I I'm not sure that O'Malley wasn't being a bit snarky when he said oh 50p oh he was totally because that was that's not subtle the text the subtext was text like that was 100% text anyway O'Malley leaves and as Steele moves back toward Laura he again looks at the bill and then shoves it into his pocket trouble in the boiler room Laura asks as Steele sits down next to her yes well I've always liked the brisk castle he excuses and they again wrap their arms around each other and Laura suggests that they could generate their own heat. They lay back down on the bed but their efforts at stoking the fires of love are interrupted by yet another knock at the door. Steele raises the sitting Laura raises herself onto her elbows and recounts that's where we were and hey I mean she should be happy at least they moved from you know people shooting at them while they're kissing to being merely interrupted by knocks. Yeah I mean here's the lesson here is they should have done it at the Hotel Delamore because that's they had their chance they had their chance and they they opted not to mosquito netting was too much for them I'm just saying anyway Steele rushes to the door sliding the last half of the distance at the door Brian O'Casey chief butler supervising steward senior chamberlain and in annoyance Steele tells him Congratulations O'Casey informs Steele that the chef has prepared a small repast which awaits his lordship's pleasure in the main dining room Steele looks at Laura in frustration and she gives a shrug, raises her arms and in surrender says Let's eat and I still don't like Laura's new hairdo.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Yeah no I'm not a fan either but like obviously the fires were not stoked enough for Laura because if if she can just go from we can generate our own heat to what the hell let's have lunch.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

She probably was there wasn't even a spark there much less an ember. Yeah well down in the dining room Mildred and Tony are seated along with five of the household staff in attendance each one at one seat of the table and this table I mean that's ridiculously long especially for four people I mean it's comically long yes yeah and and it's overly set I mean they've got a bunch of candles and silver stands decanters of what I presume were things like salad oil and vinegar and salt and pepper shakers and other dining accessories. I mean how many of those do you need that everybody doesn't need their own especially not for what they're getting well yeah there's that too as Laura and Steele are seated at complete opposite ends of the table Mildred picks up a large book telling Steele that she found it in the library. It's a book about the castle which dates all the way back to the 12th century.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

And with faux reverence Steele comments that it gives one pause doesn't it to be an immortal part of history Laura of course rolls her eyes in disgust at his act she rolls her eyes so much in this episode and it's kind of hilarious like every other second you're looking over at her and she's like you're right whatever.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

I can imagine her mother Laura now stop that if you keep doing it your eyes are going to get stuck in that position.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

But this is actually probably the most married couple thing that that we we've seen so far. The most legitimately convincing married couple thing because how I'm sorry but anybody who's been married to anyone else for any length of time has had a few of those moments where their spouse has said something silly and you've just been like I married this person. Right? Like that's that's Laura's expression right now.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

It's actually kind of sweet well McLean asks if his lordship is ready to be served. Always ready McLean always ready McLean rings the bell summoning four servants who come in carrying silver dining trays covered with silver domes. The men round the table each stopping in turn next to steel Mildred, Laura and Tony. And at a signal they simultaneously set the trays down in front of the four then four men previously in attendance or then the four other men who are in attendance simultaneously lean over the table and lift the lids from the trays, revealing to each a single potato. And we see Mildred, Steele, Tony and Laura in turn give their individual potatoes an intense look and then look up at the faces of the others with puzzled looks He said a small repast Laura offers must be the appetizer Mildred suggests Steele, arms folded looks at McLean who shakes his head Nope looking back at his plate and the solitary spud, Steele notices a folded sheet of pink paper tucked beneath his tray. And without opening the paper he stands, announcing quietly that he'll see to it and he walks out of the room with McLean following out in the foyer he opens the now white paper looking at it I noticed that too looking at it in question and says eighty seven thousand pounds for groceries? Lots of stomachs in a castle McLean explains Steele takes a deep breath then asks why do I get the distinct impression that no one has paid a bill around here for the last 50 years McLean hesitates then sheepishly admits 59 to be exact I mean if you're gonna might as well be right yeah um Steele sputters trying to repeat 59 but he can't seem to get the words out and as Steele refolds the the bill he asks if no one's paid if no one's been paid for the last 59 years why do they stay and putting his hands behind his back McLean answers that the way they see it having a job doesn't pay is better than having no job at all. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

But how are they paying how are they paying this is this is the thing that's always bothered me about this okay how are they a getting the like obviously the castle has been operating whether steel was there or not the castle has been operating for the last 59 years. So how where are they getting the coal? There's all these bills nobody would just give a stuff to a castle like if they're they're going grocery shopping for the castle they would need to actually physically buy the food. Well

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Put it on the put it on the the estates bill. I mean the lordship's good for it, you know? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

But if if you're doing that, where how are the people that are working there feeding their families? How are they?

SPEAKER_00 44:10

I mean, they're buying enough for the castle and and everybody just help it yourself and take home what you you need and you know leave a weebit for the mice, you know?

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Like that that doesn't make any sense because if that's happening, then why does it matter if the bill never gets paid?

SPEAKER_00 44:24

If if they're going this long with the biggest thing, well, because now there's a new lord of the castle, and now the the tradition of gib generosity toward the uh the earl and the you know it's it's okay. Now there's a new guy, so we can hit him for the bill, and he's he's gonna have to pay it all.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Steele even says that none of if nobody's being paid, why do they stay implying that none of the employees are receiving a salary? So how how are they feeding their families? How are they paying their own bills?

SPEAKER_00 44:54

How are they they're charging it all to the castle? His lordship said he'd cover our bills, so you just build it to the castle, eh?

SPEAKER_01 45:01

This is just such a silly plot. It's funny, don't get me wrong. I kind of love it. I love the fact that everywhere he goes, they hand him a bill. I love the fact that this castle is lemon. In fact, that's probably my favorite thing about the whole two-part finale, is that he thinks he's got this this beautiful castle and everyone's gonna call him your lordship. And it's a money pit. It's just this this horrible, horrible money pit that they want desperately to be rid of. It's hilarious. I just don't understand the money part specifically. Anyway, I'll hand wave.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

You're just supposed to go with it. Uh well, stunned, Steele scratches the side of his mouth and hesitantly calls the idea that having a job that doesn't pay is better than having no job at all. An interesting perspective.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:45

He returns to the dining room and enthusiastically suggests that they take a tour of the grounds. Uh Laura looks to the side with disbelief on her face. And when Mildred asks, when do they chow down? And Steele answers, Well, we just did. And Mildred's confused. A boiled potato? Nouvelle Cassine, he says, especially the castle. Let's overload the palate. And Laura also. Are you going to challenge the Lord of the castle?

SPEAKER_03 46:18

I would, but it's just me.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

Yeah, you're a troublemaker just like me. Anyway, Steele again suggests that they take a tour. And as he begins to walk out toward the foyer, Laura stops him as he approaches her seat, asking if he could get her her sweater. She left it in the room. Under her pink teddy. She gives him a taunting smile.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

He should have known that something was weird. Like this wasn't on the level. Come on. She's saying, Under my pink teddy, could you go get come on, Steele. You've known Laura long enough. You should know for a fact that she's not going to be dangling that carrot in front of your moron. I call him a moron. He's an idiot.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

Well, Steele gives her a moment of frustrated look and then agrees. Anything for his new bride. And as he leaves the room, Laura picks up her fork, cuts a small piece of potato.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

This is the tiniest piece of a potato.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

And she gives it several chews, tosses down her fork, picks up the napkin out of her lap, tosses it on the table, and announces she's stuffed.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

Yeah. Tiny, tiny, tiny little bite. Well, I'm stuffed.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

She excuses herself and leaves the room, leaving Laura or leaving Mildred and Tona to ponder their repast.

Daniel returns as Tony searches the castle

SPEAKER_00 47:34

Outside, an as of yet unidentified man can be seen watching the castle from behind a bush, peeking through a set of windows. He's not a peeper. He's just a peeper. Anyway, Laura approaches the man from behind and informs him that most guests prefer the front door, Mr. Chalmers. Man turns and we see that it is indeed Daniel Chalmers as he responds. Linda, what a pleasant surprise. How did Laura know he was there? How did she know it was here?

SPEAKER_01 48:01

Well, there's there's a shot earlier in the in the scene where they're in the dining room, and sh and don't get me wrong, I think it's a bit silly given how far away from the window he's standing, but she does look out the window, and you do see a look on her face that's a look of recognition, and that's why she sends him to get her sweater. So she does see him, but I I don't disagree that he's a little far away to really recognize his face, but hand wave. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Alright, fine. Uh anyway, she says, it's still Laura. And what are you doing here? Lurking about, he she chastises. It's my job to lurk, he informs her, asking if she's forgotten that he's the chief of security for the Earl of Claridge. God rest his soul. And when he learned the new lord was arriving, he jetted in post toasty. Uh with an undisguised challenge, she says, and you have absolutely no idea who the new lord is. Daniel avoids the question, responding that he's sure he'll meet the new lord soon enough. The only reason you ever turn up is to recruit Mr. Steele for one of your harebrained schemes, she accuses. How is Harry these days? he asks, but as he speaks, he begins coughing. Unsympathetically, Laura tells him he can forget the black lung bit. The sympathy ploy has been tried and it doesn't work. He's hers now. Condescendingly, Daniel asks, What hold could she possibly have on? Grinning, she leans forward, getting right into his face, and with a challenge in her voice, says, We're married.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

This is probably this is probably the first time she's been eager and happy to say those words. She's been miserable about it the whole time. But that was like, We're married. Ha! Got him.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

And she's got got this just cat that ate the canary look on her face. And Danny says, Really? He gives a moment of intense glare and then adds, for better or for worse.

SPEAKER_02 49:52

I love his response. That's good. That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

And Laura's grin drops to a look of scorn. Yeah. Inside, Steele, Laura's sweater in hand, is happily coming down the stairs, whistling. Life is good. He's inherited a castle and a title. He's married after a fashion. And anticipating finally consummating his and Laura's marriage interruptus.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

He's seen the pink teddy. He saw the pink teddy. That's that's the smile. That is what is on. He's he saw the pink teddy. He's imagining Laura in the pink teddy and then he's imagining Laura not in the pink teddy. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

But as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he experiences happiness interruptus when a hand shoots up from behind the corner of the wall, stopping him in his tracks. It's Phony Tony Baloney. Steele looks down at the hand, then slowly up at Tony's face. Tony gives Steele a crooked sardonic grin and then says, Guess you were pretty sure you'd see the last of me, huh? Steele admits that he never expected the pleasure of Tony's company in the Ireland.

SPEAKER_03 50:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

Confrontationally, Tony asks, just how far did Steele would Steele be willing to go to see that Tony wouldn't be around? And Steele leans against the wall, his confusion obvious as he says There's a nuance here that escapes me. Accusation practically dripping from his fangs, Tony says, Funny thing Hemsley didn't shoot at you. He shot at me. You were the master spy. I was just the messenger boy, Steele comments dismissively. Yeah, but if he found out he was being set up, he should have come after both of us. No, no, no, Tony, no.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

No, Tony was the one in charge. He was the one running the scam.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Well, no, he he would have come after Steele. But if Hemsley bought Steele's act, he also would have recognized him as just the messenger boy. And even if he thought the messenger boy would need to be eliminated, he would start he wouldn't start with the messenger boy. He would start with Tony because if he he started with the messenger boy, he alerts the bigger danger, Tony, to the fact that he's onto the setup. So he killed Tony, then the messenger. And since Tony killed Hemsley first, he didn't have an opportunity to take out Steele. Bad logic there, Tony. You're do you're thinking with your uh anger, not your your brain.

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Yeah, he well, he does that throughout this I would say three quarters of the episode. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Yeah. Anyway, Steele dismisses Tony's concern as luck of the Irish. Tony, no less sure of himself, asks if Steele didn't let anything slip. Only after the briefest of thought, Steele says, No, not that he's aware of. And in a slightly panicked tone, Tony demands to know how Hemsley figured out that Tony was on to him. Steele points out that even at its best, intelligence can be a leaky business. Well, Tony begrudgingly admits to the possibility, but then swears that if he finds out that Steele gave Tony up, he's gonna kill him.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Actually, he says, if I find out you fingered me, and I I wish I could unhear that line. Like I that was one of those things where I was like, oh, I didn't need to hear that ever. I'm sorry. You're that's why you didn't say that line when you read it. You you changed it because you didn't want to see say it.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

You didn't No, I just didn't want to put the line.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

You didn't want to Anyway, the two men glare at each other for a moment, then Tony walks away. Back from a commercial, a woman in a maid's outfit is standing at the dining table, polishing the silver when Steele walks in, carrying Laura's sweater. Upon seeing his lordship, she snaps to attention and then introduces herself as Bridget O'Leary, senior domestic coordinator. Then she gives a curtsy. Steele says it's nice to meet her, but where's his wife? Her ladyship went outside, she says. In a hurry she was, she adds. Steele thanks her and then turns to leave, but Bridget O'Leary rushes up to catch him, calling out that before he'd be rushing off, there's a wee matter that calls for his immediate attention. And of course, she hands him a bill. He scowls, takes the bill, and reads 27,000 pounds for polish? Lots of silver in a castle, she supplies. Glaring at her, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a coin, plops it onto her outstretched hand, and then advises, try stainless.

SPEAKER_01 54:07

It looked like another 50p.

SPEAKER_00 54:10

Who knows? Uh in the kitchen, Mildred is prowling through the cabin. Wait a second. I thought he didn't carry change. Cash.

SPEAKER_01 54:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Coins, especially.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

Except when the plot calls for it.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

Except for when the plot calls it's always been that way. It's literally always been that way, except for when the plot calls for it. Then he then he does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:29

In the kitchen, Mildred is prowling through the cabinets and chafing dishes, all clean, shiny, looking as if they've never been used.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

She's frantic. She's looking for food. She's starving.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

She's like I guess that potato just wasn't enough. Um you know, I I read somewhere that if you want it to lose weight, go on a potato diet. Just eat potatoes. Don't put anything on them because it's the stuff that you put on them that that adds the calories like butter and sour cream and such. But you know, chives and and such like that, seasonings you can do. But just bake potatoes. They said it's uh it's a fairly balanced nutrition and you can lose weight on it. But um anyway, when steel enters, uh Mildred informs it that the cupboards are bare and demands to know what gives uh cash flow crisis equips, and then asks for a summary on the real estate market for castles these days. Lousy is her response, explaining that this joint's been on the market since 1532.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

Okay, so I mentioned in that one of our previous episodes that content creator who goes by the name Millennial Moron, and he gained this massive popularity on on like TikTok and other sorts of platforms, YouTube as well, by contrasting the absurd state of the housing market in Toronto with historic properties elsewhere, like castles and things like that. And there was one example of a small two-bedroom home in Toronto's Kensington, Chinatown area, which was like $2.85 million. And he compared that to a 20-bedroom Scottish baronial style estate sitting on five acres with all kinds of modern amenities that was cheaper. And so, like the the fact that she'd say this has been on the market since 1532 or 1582 is kind of funny just because there like this guy made his whole following on how you can literally buy, like I'm looking at a National Post article that talks about it, and he Yeah, he said in one video garnering over 3.2 million views, he compares a two-bedroom property, like I said, to this um castle on five acres of land in Scotland. And the Orcherton Castle House has 45 rooms, a cinema, a library, more than 30 fireplaces spread out over four floors, and contains three full self-contained flats. The massive property also has botanic gardens, woodland, a large pond, paddock, stable block, and a private beach. So you could buy that in Scotland for what you would buy in Toronto, which is basically like it looks like a it it's it's got graffiti on the back of this supposed house.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

It might be cheaper, but the heating bills and the maintenance, they're gonna kill you.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Yeah, it's it is. But it there was like another one, a price of a two-bedroom house in Kitchener, which was listed at one one, eight hundred thousand dollars, or as an assembly with three other lots on a 25,000 square feet of land. Buyers could purchase um a Swedish castle for the same price. So anyway, it it's just kind of funny that she points out that it's been on the market since 1532. Because like, why is no one buying this thing? Well, I think we know why no one's buying it, but still.

SPEAKER_00 57:36

Well, it wouldn't pass the uh the uh inspection. Um Steele purses his lips and ponders, then offhandedly suggests that perhaps it's time to change brokers.

SPEAKER_01 57:47

Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Uh outside, Steele approaches Laura with her sweater. She is standing next to his lordship's gardener, who is bent over cutting a couple of roses for her ladyship. As Steele greets Laura, holding out her sweater for her, the gardener raises himself upright, then introduces himself as Sean O'Gleason. I wonder if that's a Michael Gleason.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Yeah, I wondered too. I thought, I think maybe they're doing a little wink there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

And he's the senior architect, which you could argue he was the senior architect of the senior senior landscape architect. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 58:20

In other words, the gardener.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

Yeah. Uh he hands Steele a rose, and its stem is wrapped in yet another bill as he asks his lordship, has he stopped to smell the roses lately? Spying the note, Steele mutters, uh yes, a familiar scent indeed.

SPEAKER_03 58:34

Yeah, no kidding. He knows what's what he's getting now.

SPEAKER_00 58:37

He takes a peek at the note, giving Laura a song uh Laura looking sidelong at it as he does. Steele folds the note back up, puts it in uh puts his hands behind his um. Steele folds the note back up, puts his hand behind Laura's back, and urges her along as so as not to keep the man from his bush. I mean he means to keep keep keep the man from Steele's or Laura's bush. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

This is this is definitely a a very like there's there's a bunch of double entres in this episode, but this one's pretty obvious.

SPEAKER_00 59:13

Oh. Uh hey, you you you may not remember it. Who was it? Who was it? Um It was a beer. What was it? Uh Real Men of Distinction commercials. It was a singer from like White Snake.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:32

And somebody else, and they were Coverdale, David Coverdale. Huh? Oh, okay. Anyway, I I don't know if that was that that guy or or from another group, but it was a lead singer from a big name rock band. And they were doing these commercials for this this b uh beer. And they did a series of them, and they were so successful that they did more commercials, but then they took the act on the road. And it was him and another guy, who the guy that played the music, and he sang. And they would make up these lyrics for each place that they would go based on these commercials, the the the same men of distinction. And they did one in Oregon. And right one of it was, you know, there's lots of ways to get there, but you can't get there from here. And then the state animal is a beaver. Think about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:29

Yeah, that well. That's our national animal. Okay. That's that's the kid. Yeah, you'd you'd laugh, but that's Canada's national animal.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

The the US gets the majestic bald eagle. We get a little water rodent that bats his tail when danger comes by. But you know what? Do you know what the the national animal is for Scotland?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:51

I think we'd had this conversation once we were.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

We did have this conversation. It's a unicorn, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

But I mean, the are you sure they were meaning the small furry rodent?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

I I hope so. I hope so. I deeply hope so. The Irish national animal, because I just looked it up because I'm curious. Ireland does not officially have a designated national animal, though the Irish hare is widely considered an unofficial national animal.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:16

So Well, anyway, after Steele and Laura move off and uh to undertone, Steele begins saying, Now, about our uninvited guest. And Laura asks, Well, what's the latest crackpot campaign he's come up with? Not hiding her annoyance. The latest, Steele says, is that he intends to kill me. To kill you? Who are you talking about? Laura asks in confusion. Tony, he states. Then as Laura tilts her head, an understanding look coming to her face, he asks who she's talking about. But before she can answer, Steele hears the sound of Daniel's voice calling, Harry! Yeah. Daniel steps up to join Laura and Steele, and Steele, surprised at Daniel's appearance, asks what he's doing at Ashford Castle.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

I like the fact that Laura didn't immediately assume that Steele had invited Daniel and that they were plotting something. Because she's she says, like, let's discuss our friend, or like she knows that Steele is not aware that Daniel's even there yet. And she doesn't assume that he's plotting something the way she did in the past. So that's kind of nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

Her comment about what's the latest crackpot campaign he's come up with kind of implies that she knows that he's there and he knows what he's uh what he's up to.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:28

Yeah, but it doesn't imply that she thinks that Steele's in on it. This is more of an inside joke. It's like, oh God, what's he doing now? And now that she's pretty sure that Steele is is on her side, I guess you'd call it, that she's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:42

Anyway, uh Daniel answers, well, Steele himself, of course, and says, I'm your chief of security. Steele gives Daniel a tired nod of understanding. Of course, lots of locks in a castle. And Daniel suggests that he gives Steele a tour of his holdings. Seemingly distracted, Steele agrees, calling it a splendid idea. Laura declines Steele's offer to join the tour, leaving the two men to their holdings.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:11

She left the gardener with his bush, and now he's she's leaving Daniel Steele to their holdings.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

See, isn't there a reference in here later to the family jewels? Anyway, uh, yep. She gives him a kiss, though perhaps as much to taunt Daniel as for any other reason, then tells Steele, Don't be too long, dear, as she gives Daniel just this absolutely smug look. Yep. She departs, leaving Daniel and Steele staring after her. She's turned into quite a girl, hasn't she? Daniel Steele suggests. Mm-hmm, Daniel murmurs. They always do until they get what they want. Well, next they are nearing the end of the tour, and Daniel and Remington are inside, visiting various portions of the interior of the castle, as we hear Daniel observe that Steele has reportedly done some settling down since their paths last crossed. And Steele gives a grunt of affirmation, to which Daniel opines that he didn't think Remington was the marrying kind. Wedlock has distinct advantages, Steele answers generally. Daniel admits that he could never understand Remington's attraction to Linda. Laura, Remington immediately corrects. Laura, Linda, there's been so many. It's hard to keep track, Daniel disposally comments. Then after a moment, asks if Steele remembers the Contessa. Steele grins and laughs. Ah, yes, the one with the birthmark, he recalls. You see, so many, Daniel says cheerfully. Shame to tie yourself down to one, he counsels. And insincerely, Steele calls Daniel an incurable romantic. Right?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:46

Which I find hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:50

Anything but. And then he asks if the security job is on the up and up, or is Daniel intending to release the castle of the city?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:58

He knows him too well. He honestly knows him. He's like, okay, let's cards on the table. Are you planning to rob me blind? Like what's going on here?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:07

And Daniel says, no, it's the straight and narrow for him, admitting that living on the edge can become a bit tiring as a steady diet. Who would have thought it, Steele ponders? The two of them making an honest go of it after all these years. Daniel gives Steele a slight smile, then reminds him that neither of them is getting any younger. Curious, Steele asks Daniel, if you had to do it all again, would you change anything? Daniel smiles knowingly, admitting that he'd change a few things here and there.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

They conclude their tour, returning to the foyer, where the maid is on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor by hand. As soon as she sees Daniel and Steele, she hurries to her feet, curtsies, greets his lordship, then introduces herself as Marricade O'Donager. And nervously, Daniel observes that the floor is wet, suggesting that they can come back later. No problem, sir, she assures Daniels. I don't know. Mind cleaning up after you. And she turns on her knees and renews her scrubbing. And Daniel, who's clearly trying to send the woman a message as well as trying to distance himself from her, insists that she needs to save her strength for the long walk home. She doesn't live in, Steele asks. No, she's temporary. Just passing through, Daniel says, giving the woman a pointed look.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:23

Oh, I'll be around a while, sir. There's a lot of work left undone, she threatened to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

Yeah, this is this accent is painful. It's painful. And I I mean I looked into it. The actress is not Irish. She is from Kansas. And I let it this way, I used to watch the TV series Highlander, and the actor Adrian Paul, who plays Duncan McLeod of the Glen McLeod, uh, who's supposed to be a Scottish Highlander, is not Scottish. And any of the flashback scenes where he's in the past and using a Scottish accent are just sort of painful to your ears every time he speaks, every time he opens his mouth, you're like, why could you not just hire a Scotsman? Whatever. This is worse. This is worse. This is David Boreanis doing an Irish accent bad. This is this is that it's that level.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:14

It's just a lot of work left undone.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:19

What? Come on.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:21

Anyway. She sounds like the leprechaun from Lucky Charms commercials. They're always after me, Lucky Charms. I apologize to anybody Irish in English. If this accent bothered you as half as much as it bothered me, this this episode is probably difficult for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:38

Well, the two glare at each other, and the and her glare follows Daniel and Steele as they move away. Next, we see Laura entering the grand bedchamber, and at the far end she sees a figure bent over the dresser at the side of the bed. The figure has not hurt her. Thinking it's Remington, she quietly closes the door and locks it. She approaches, asking if he's back for them the tour so soon, calling him an eager beaver.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:01

Eager beaver.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:03

There's that there's that beaver again.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:05

There's that beaver again.

Laura catches Tony rifling through her room

SPEAKER_00 1:08:07

She grabs the figure by the arm, turns him around, and then lays him back on the bed, pulling or turns around, lays back on the bed, pulling the figure down on top of her. They begin earnestly kissing, but suddenly Laura realizes that the figure isn't Remington. Tony, she asks in surprise. If I say yes, will I have to stop? Yes. He forcefully kisses her again, but she resists, finally pushing him away, demanding he let go. She gets up and begins to straighten up her clothes as she walks across the room. She reaches the other side, opens the curtain window, the curtain window, the window curtain, and when she turns back around, she again sees Tony riffling through the dresser and notices that he's gone through their luggage as well. She demands to know what he's doing. He merely says he'll explain later.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:54

No, no, no, sir. No. You don't walk into someone's like she's walked into her bedroom, she's found this guy basically rifling through all their stuff and rightfully demanded to know what he's doing. And he's just like, Yeah, I'll tell you later. Uh-uh. No. That's not how that works.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:11

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

You're wanting for murder. She could turn you in. You answer her question.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:16

Well, she does as you would have done. She stomped across the room, grabs him by his arm, spins him around, and demands that he explain now.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:24

He says, I'm looking at 50 to life unless I can prove I'm not a traitor. What makes you think you can find proof here? She challenges as he turns and continues digging through Laura's drawers.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:36

I see what you did there. I see what he did there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:40

I'm not sure I intentionally did that, but yeah, it kind of fits. Anyway, Laura just can't believe it. They took him in, hid him from the police, protected him from a murder rap they know nothing about, and now she finds him tearing their room apart like a petty thief. Tony stomps across the room to another dresser and begins tearing it apart. When Laura slams the drawer shut, nearly taking his fingers off in the process.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:02

Good for her. Good for her.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:05

Tony seems to regain some of his self-control and he quietly asks, after Steele gave Hemsley the documents, what happened? Frustrated, Laura asks why he wants to know. I'm trying to save my neck, he hollers. We went to the police station, she says flatly. After that, we came back to the hotel, Pat, caught the train for the night boat to Dublin. Did he make any calls? No. Did he ever leave your side? No. You mean to tell me he never even went to the bathroom? Iron Kiddons, she excuses. Now what's this all about?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:35

Good for her for staunchly protecting Steele here as well. Because I mean, obviously she doesn't believe that he had anything to do with Tony being set up or anything like that. But regardless of whether or not she believes it, she's not even giving Tony any chance to even think that Steele would have had the opportunity. She's she's like, no, he didn't have a chance. We went here. I've I was with him the whole time. What is going on? Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:03

Well, he angrily says, Your husband sold me out to Hemsley. And Laura looks at him as if he's a Martian from Venus speaking gibberish. I mean, why would he do that? She questions. Ask him, Tony retorts. Suddenly they hear Steele calling to Laura from outside the bedchamber. Why don't we both ask him? She suggests as she begins to walk to the door. Tony grabs her arm, stops her, and then accusingly asks, Do you really want him to find us in here together?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:31

She had the right instinct initially. Walking over there, opening the door, saying, I found this jerk in our room. Look what he's done. He's rifled through our stuff. Tony is the one.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:44

Yeah, he says you did this, that, and the other thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:47

Yeah. Tony is the one who makes her second guess herself by saying, Are you sure he you want him to find us here together in the bedroom? They didn't do any like, okay, yes, she she grabbed him thinking he was Steele. The second she realized he wasn't, she told him to get off her and then demanded to know what the hell he was doing in a room. And it was a logical assumption to make when she walked in and saw the darkened figure standing there because why the heck else would anybody be in the room but Steele?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:11

Well, but but if she had let Steele in and said, Hey, look, what's going on here? Oh, yeah. I mean, if she let Steele in and told him what was going on, he could see the mess it's made.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:29

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

I mean, that lends credibility to her story.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:33

There's nothing here that indicates she's fully clothed.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

There's nothing here that indicates they've been rolling around on the bed doing anything other than him going through their stuff and her demanding to know what the heck is going on. So the fact that he undermines her confidence in their relationship really bothers me because her instincts were right. Let's ask him. And she goes to open the door.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:53

I think what Tony may really be meaning is I don't want Steele to find me in here with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:59

Yeah. 1000% he's worried about what Steele's going to do to him.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:02

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:03

But he but he manipulates the situation by undermining Laura's confidence in Steele. And I don't think that Steele would have flown off the handle upon seeing the two in the bedroom, especially again with the evidence of the room being totally all although she would have to do some very quick explaining because the door's locked. Well, yeah, she locked it. She thought Steele was the one that's right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:29

But what I'm saying is that Steele arrives, the door's locked, she lets him in, and Tony's there. Uh okay. You better explain really fast. This is one of those situations. If she does explain, yeah, and she sees what's going on, then yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:41

This is one of those situations where they would have to have that direct communication. She goes over the door, she opens it, she she brings him inside and says, I I caught him in here. I locked the door, I thought, I thought you were here. This instead I caught Tony here. He's been rifling through our stuff, and he thinks you have something to do with Hemsley.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:01

Cool. Well, Tony gets punched, he falls out the window, everybody's happy.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:07

You know, that's how the scene should have gone. Story's over. The police show up, they arrest him. Doesn't matter if he's innocent or guilty, he's taken away forever, and they live happily ever after in their castle.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:17

Yes. Well, anyway, Steele calls out again, asking why the door is locked. She Laura lets out a sigh of frustration, calls out that she's coming any minute now. Come on. Tony lead she leads Tony to the window, slides it up, and Tony climbs out. But before he leaves, he grabs Laura by the throat.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:39

Yeah, this was gross.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:41

And gives her a kiss. I mean, yeah, by the throat. I mean And also, and also there's an appropriate time for that, but this wasn't it. No, this wasn't it.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:50

And also, like, Steele, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder as we see when Steele does come in and sees Tony climbing out the window to explain that than it would be to just simply open the door and explain what actually happened.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:02

Yeah. Anyway, Laura rushes over to the door, unlocks it, then lets Steele in. He begins to ask what took so long for her to open the door, but then stops when he spots the disheveled state of their luggage. And at his look and utterance of dismay, Laura tries to cover it by saying that she was just doing a bit of unpacking. I mean, Christ. Yeah. I mean, that's no. Anyway, Steele hears a noise from outside the window. He strides over, looks down and out toward the source of the sound, just in time to see Roselli jumping down from the side of the building to the ground.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:37

And Steele asks, rolling around on the royal bedspread, your ladyship? It isn't what you think, she protests. No need to look so guilty, he assures her, and he snaps open the newspaper he's been holding, then holds it out to show her the headline, telling her that her honeymoon hijinks pale in comparison to this. And of course the headline reads, Local police search for double agent, and it's accompanied by a photo of Roselli. And in his room, Roselli is reading the same hand headline. He angrily stuffs the paper under his bed, then gets up and walks out. In another bedchamber, Daniel is standing in the center of a room with a privacy screen off to his side, and he's asking, How did you find me? And Mary Kate, who is really Marissa, steps out from behind the screen. She's pulling up her stockings and wearing a modern maid's outfit, and without a trace of an Irish accent, says, You didn't think I'd give up just because you got an attack of wander loss, did ya? Reaching out to tie her apron behind her back, Daniel grins and suggests that he was rather hoping she would. And she says, I've got a job to do. And she's just very matter-of-fact about it. And Daniel says, Well, as I told you, while continuing to tie her apron, though taking quite too much time to do so.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:53

He's yeah, yeah, he's taking his time for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:57

I'd really like to help you, but something came up that demands my full attention. She turns and gives him a mischievous but knowing smile and says, Fine, just return the twenty-five thousand pounds I advanced you, and we'll forget about our bargain. Cautiously, Daniel says he's afraid that won't be possible. She sits on the bed and begins putting on her shoes. Says, No, twenty-five thousand. No, flown the coop, Daniel says by way of explanation. She comments. Name of a horse, actually. Unlucky nag. She laughs, gets up, and reaches to pick up the newspaper sitting on top of the dresser. Cheer up, Daniel. Look what just dropped into our laps. She tells him as she hands the newspaper to him with Tony's picture and the story about the manhunt. As he looks at it, she says that all they have to do is trade Mr. Roselli for what they need, and she knows just who to trade him to.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:50

So I like this.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:51

Daniel gives her a concerned look.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:54

I like this side plot with Marissa. I I wish I knew how she and Daniel met. I I'd really like that story. This is like, yeah, pretty much, because like I I just we don't get that story here. And and obviously there's not there's not enough time for it anyway, but I just I would love to know because she advanced him $25,000. We later find out it's because she's trying to find her father. He's lost somewhere behind the iron curtain. And I just I did did did Daniel pose as somebody else that you know and imply that he could help her only to double cross her and take the money. That would not surprise me, although that's not his usual target, if that makes sense. Like his usual target is usually wealthy people who really won't miss whatever money that he takes from them. And so I'm very curious as to how they met and how this bargain got struck, because we never get that story, and I think that that would have been kind of interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:56

Well, anyway, next we see Steele coming down the grand staircase, but he hears Bridget singing and coming his direction, not wishing a confrontation and another inquiry into the fight.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:08

He just turns around, oh blast, and he hides.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:11

That's right. He slips into the room that's at the bottom of the stairs until she's passed.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:15

He's literally hiding from his servants, which is the funniest part of the whole thing, right? The lord of the castle. And he's like, oh god, there's another one.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:25

Well, as soon as he thinks it's safe, he slips out of the room and attempts to resume his mission, except that he gets caught up by McLean. Who steps out from behind the wall and hands him yet another bill, courtesy of the chief electrician who asks McLean to pass it along. Chief Electrician still repeats under his breath, and then he looks at the bill. And take it aback, 96,000 for electricity. Well, at this point, first of all, he should not be surprised to get yet another bill. He shouldn't be surprised. And he shouldn't be surprised at how much it is. That's what that was my next point. I mean, given 59 years lapse in bills, I mean, and I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:01

That actually seems kind of cheap. Like that seems not that expensive, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:06

And you know, to your earlier point, I just had it in my notes here and didn't think about it uh earlier when we were talking about this. I I have to say I find it extremely generous of the local utility companies in Glen Cree, quite generous and understanding. I mean, if I'm five minutes late with a utility bill payment, I'm getting phone calls, delinquent notices, you know, threats of services being turned off. I'd love to go 59 years and then you know write it off as a you know that's the other thing. Banks, banks, banks, they will loan millions and tens of millions and hundreds of millions of dollars to foreign governments. And then when they can't pay, they say, well, okay, just pay the interest. And when they say, Well, we can't pay the interest, they'll just write the whole thing off. But you go get a car loan and you can't afford to pay it, they they they come take your car. You know, they they garnish your wages, they they they they will totally destroy you. I I'm I'm only into you for $20,000, not $20 million. Go get go after the guy with the $20 million bill.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:09

I mean, do you want to know how much adjusted for inflation? 96,000 pounds would be in 2026.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:16

I just googled it because I was curious. 365,147 pounds and eighty-five pence.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:26

65. Yeah. 65. Okay, so what is that in in real money?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:32

Sorry. Um what is what is Canadian money, huh? Is that like monopoly money? Is that is that the implication?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:39

Yeah. Uh yeah. English money, Canadian money. It's yeah, that that's what you get in the monopoly board. Yeah. No, that's got, I mean, I think the British pound is close to equal to a dollar right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:52

So in Canadian dollars, because that is real money, sir, um, it would be 684. That's only if you draw the ears. Anyway, and actually, he's not on the um oh yeah, he is. Never mind. Um they switched one of the bills, but it was the 10. So in 2026, in Canadian dollars, it would be $684,909.65.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:19

And what about an American dollar?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:20

Uh let's see. Uh put it in my calculator here. It'd be American dollars. It would be $493,953.51.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:37

That ain't exactly chump change.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:40

No, it's it's not. But it's still over 59 years. That's still kind of reasonable.

unknown 1:22:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:49

Well, anyway, McLean gives Steele the latest variation of the now classic excuse. Lots of lights in the castle, your lordship. And he almost at this point, he almost looks like he's enjoying that. Just a little bit of a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:03

Yeah. Oh, he's he's 1,000. He's definitely enjoying it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:07

Well, Steele, desperate to not only get away from the constant flow of bills, but probably wondering uh not only how is he ever going to get out of this mountain of debt, but how he can prevent the mountain from continuing to grow, or at least slow its rate of growth, tells McLean to remind Steele to look into solar energy.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:23

Um, okay, and that's where I kind of find this hilarious because in Ireland, solar energy. In Ireland.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:33

Yeah. Kind of like solar energy in Alaska.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:36

Right? Like um Ireland and Scotland very similar in terms of of weather and rain. And there's a lot of rain. Like it's December, January, February are the wettest months of the year, according to Google, followed by the driest period, which would be March, April, and May, which still have a lot of rain, just not as much as every other month. And so like it's just like, come on, solar energy, I'm sure it could work, but you're not gonna get a lot of sun.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:07

So well, that's like like people in Anchorage that put up solar panels on their houses. It's like okay, that's gonna help you for about a third or forty percent of the year.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:17

And for the rest of the year, it's gonna be minimal because what uh during during the summer, spring, summer, and fall, we've got more overcast days generally speaking than we do sunny days. And then, of course, in winter, you get these really short days. I mean, we we are as little as about four and a four hours and like twenty minutes of sun above the horizon at the uh uh winter solstice. So you're not getting a whole lot of benefit out of it during the winter. And whatever calculations they use to say, well, they'll pay for themselves in X number of years, you might as well just like double that in Anchorage. And then of course they decay over time, which means that you're gonna have to replace them and in Anchorage. I'm I'm thinking you might have to replace them before you recover your investment. So I I just don't see it. Oh, and snow in the winter. I'm covered with snow in the winter. You you're gonna get up there and sweep it off in the winter?

SPEAKER_01 1:25:21

I'm an idiot because I just Googled it and I got a website that apparently says that solar panels do work in Ireland, and they actually work very well according to this uh website. It says solar panels work very well in Ireland. They generate electricity from daylight, not direct sunlight. And Irish homes typically produce 825 to 1,050 kilowatts per KWH per KWP of installed capacity per year. I'm not really sure what that means, but um basically it says the most common Irish objection to solar is the most easily answered. The panels do not need direct sunshine. Photovitalic cells respond to the full visible light spectrum, including the diffuse light that comes through overcast clouds. On a typical overcast Irish day, a well-oriented array still runs at 15 to 25 percent of its rated output. On a bright but hazy day, it runs at 50 to 70 percent. Germany is the comparison that settles the argument. Northern Germany has lower solar irradiance than Ireland. Central and southern Germany is broadly similar, yet Germany has one of the highest rates of solar installation per capita in the world. The technology works across the full range of Northern European daylight. Ireland is not an outlier outlier.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:27

So if I am wrong, solar installation rates are not the measure that you use. What you use is the cost to benefit ratio.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:41

Yeah, I'm I'm just saying apparently does work.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:43

So yeah. Um was that website from a company that sells and installs solar panels?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:49

Uh yes.

unknown 1:26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:51

Okay. They gave you best case scenario, not necessarily real-world scenario, and they couched it with the terms like installations. They have more installations. Well, I I could install you know something here that doesn't do me any good, but it's installed. I mean, I don't have an electric car, but I could install an electric car charger in it my house. Doesn't do me any good, but I've got it. So yeah. Anyway, um, I mean, if it if it makes economic sense, that's one thing, but just to simply do it because it's the end thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:29

Well, as of 2026, apparently it says that it's reached historic peaks, like setting records as to the amount of people that are using solar energy and then solar is powered again.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:41

I don't know. So what? Is it paying for itself? That's the that you know, not not theoretically, not if you do it in twenty-five years, it will have paid for itself. Yeah, except you had to have already replaced it at least once during that time. No, you gotta look at the real world value of it, not something. That somebody does on paper.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:01

According to their government website, with the help of the Sustainable Energy Authority of Ireland grants, which offer up to 1,800 euros to offset installation costs and the ability to sell excess power back to the grid, most domestic solar systems in Ireland pay for themselves in less than five to six years.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:22

I'm just saying what it tells me.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:24

Somebody still paid for that. And the fact that you got somebody else to pay your installation is cheating. Anyway,

Follow Mildred's clues to the pub

SPEAKER_00 1:28:33

next we find Steele in a large room. No, next Steele finds Mildred in a large room. Yeah. And she's on this phone telling the person on the other end, Well, thanks. You've been a big help. But what catches Steele's attention is the fact that the room is ablaze with lights.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:48

Steele rushes in the lights on.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:50

And begins dousing the lights, scolding, Mildred, please, the room is ablaze. But it's getting dark, she protests. Break out the candles, he says. And then without any preamble, asks if she's seen Anthony. She firmly tells Steele that Roselli knows better than to get within her line of fire.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:05

I firmly believe that's true. I I do not think for a second that he is uh eager to be anywhere near Mildred. I think he's terrified of her.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:14

Well, and Steele responds to that comment about good thought. He's uh doesn't what do you mean? Fire. Should the castle go up in flames? Accidentally, of course. How much could we claim on the insurance? Mildred laughs, telling them sorry, they tried that in 1856. And Steele says, hopefully, stone walls three feet thick. There's no way you're gonna burn this baby down, she says. In a tone that again suggests that maybe he's starting to go a bit loony.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:41

Technically, not true. Castles can still burn down. The stone remains standing, but everything else would be burned. So you'd have a ruin, like a stone ruin. But also, how is Steele going to ensure everyone's out of the building? Like, I realize where his brain's going with this, but like let's have a picnic, everybody over here. Come on, everyone out of the castle, everybody out of the castle.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:00

Mandatory staff picnic.

unknown 1:30:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:06

Yes. Um, anyway, as Mildred's talking, Steele moves to the window and looks out. He turns back from the window, then rushes toward the door, but before he leaves, he informs Mildred that from now on, all phone calls are collect, repeating himself for emphasis. Outside, Steele approaches the chauffeur, asking if the man would happen to know the whereabouts of his American friend. He was needing a ride to the village, Terence tells him. I'll be needing the same ride, Steele advises, and he starts to move to the car door to get in, but stops quickly and reverses, of course. And in anticipation of the inevitable, says, But first, your bill. Yeah. And in the papers steel, Terence examines Saints be praised for your American lordship.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:45

I mean, it's rather bold of him to assume that Steele asking for the bill means Steele's going to be paying, said Bill, but hey.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:51

Well, yeah. Well, you know maybe that's a step up from the uh Earl. Maybe the Earl didn't even bother to ask. You know. Fair. And and if they tried to present him a bill, it was like, uh, go give it to so and so. Inside, Laura finds Mildred shutting off lights everywhere she goes, but doesn't understand why. Boss likes a dark castle, a disgusted sounding Mildred explains. And when Laura asks where Remington is, Mildred supplies that he left with the chauffeur, and no, she doesn't know where he was going. But she does have some news about Daniel Chalmers. His story about being his lordship's chief of security is as phony as a four-leaf shamrock.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:31

Uh they exist though, they're not phony.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:33

Four-leaf shamrocks, four leaf shampoo. I'll finish my statement and then I'll read what I have about that. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. And then you can say what you have to say. Okay. It's my episode, so I get to be in charge. I get to go first. Uh Mildred explains that according to the executor of the Earl's Estate, Chalmers turned down the job. Well, I looked online and Mildred's claim that four-leaf shamrocks are phony is debatable. It comes down to semantics. Yep. Shamrocks are clovers, and four-leaf clovers are a real thing. Shamrock is a descriptive term rather than a scientific species. Yes. It most commonly refers to the lesser clover, trifolium dubium, or white clover, trifolium repens. Repens? Or something like that. But often includes the wood sorrel, oxalus, acotosila, or something like that. And four leaf clovers are almost always from the trifolium genus. So basically, all shamrocks are clovers. Yes. Not all clovers are shamrocks. And shamrocks never have four leaves because well, because someone somewhere decided that shamrocks can only have three leaves, and so four-leaf clovers can't be shamrocks because we said so.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:50

Yeah, so yeah, that was what I had. I had that the four-leaf clover is a rare mutation of the common three-leaf clover that has four leaflets. But obviously the shamrock clover, different thing. Um, it's a botanical misnomer as the clover plants have multiple leaves, multiple clovers, each consisting of various number of leaflets, typically three. So yeah, it's it, yeah, it's pretty much what you said there. Fine. It is your episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:18

Uh anyway, Laura lets out a sigh of disgust. At the same time, she just happens to look out of the window to see Marissa and Daniel getting into a car. She decides to go and investigate, but as she leaves, she instructs Mildred to keep a light in the window. And hesitantly, Mildred calls out after her, Will you settle for a candle? Next, we find ourselves uh at O'Flanagan's pub, though the sign outside reads O'Flanagan's Bar.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:43

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:45

I'm not sure if that difference is significant, but there you go. Anyway, the place is filled with men drinking and singing. Their singing is terrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:53

It always, yeah, usually this is pretty, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:56

I mean, it might have been better uh a few beers ago, but now it's not. Uh Rosoli is off on the side. Rosoli, I did it again. Roselli is off onto the side on a payphone. He calls out to the uh innkeeper, great sound, rehearsing for some kind of show. And of course, the uh barkeep doesn't catch the insult that uh Roselli is making, and he responds that they're just regular folks, farmers, tradesmen, and the like. Well then why are they singing? Rosoli asks, not understanding. They're Irish, he declares, as if that explains everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:31

It actually does, because this is a very common thing in in local pubs in Ireland. It's it's yeah, like a pub session is what they call it, and it's basically performing music in a local pub, sometimes performers, but oftentimes just people singing. Yeah, just like all together. Um, some in it's uh singing and consuming alcohol has been this is Wikipedia, been practiced together from ancient times, but the written evidence is fragmentary until the 16th century, and it's basically something that just kind of stuck in Ireland. And so there's open sessions, anybody can sing, anybody can whatever. Um sometimes they are practicing for something, but more often than not, it's just they're Irish and they're in a pub.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:16

So they're gonna sing. Well, as Tony is pondering the man's response, someone comes onto the other end of the phone call of Tony's call, and it's his MI6 contact, Fitch, who greets Roselli cheerfully, commenting that it's good to hear his voice. Yeah. Tony demands to know what Fitch is all chipper about because after all, Tony's face is plastered all over the Irish papers. Fitch responds that newspapers do tend to somewhat run behind current events, especially in their business. Angrily, Tony tells Fitch to skip the lesson on journalism, reminding him that you said you'd clean up things. Fitch assures Tony that he's a man of his word and he's done just that. They've located the documents. Turns out Helmsley had them neatly boxed up, waiting to be delivered to his Russian contact. Tony is confused by this revelation. Well then what's he doing hiding in the bogs? It's safe for you to come home, Fitch assures him. Mother forgives you.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:12

Okay. I not that I want Tony to be not brutally murdered, like not that I want him to to to walk away safe and sound, but he's smarter than this. Like he has to uh the fact that he hasn't started suspecting Fitch already shows that he's not a very good agent. Shows that well, it just he has shown himself to be smarter than this. This is what gets me though. And then we see this bit where he's like, Mother forgives you. What? You're you're nothing about this scene suspicious. You make the call to Fitch and he's just like, Yeah, no, you're fine. Come on home. The papers are behind the times, they don't know what's going on. Come on home, you're good, you're good. Just come on, just come out of hiding. Come on, Tony, use your brain. Like, this is dumb.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:55

Yeah. Well, anyway, Tony sarcastically quips, Well, that's swell, mom. And then he asks, How did he get out of there? Uh, where are you? Bitch queries.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:06

Oh, dude, don't answer him. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:10

Tony turns and hollers at the barkeep, Where am I? O'Flanagan's Pub is the unhelpful response.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:16

No, that's the right response. Where am I? That's where he is. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:21

And with a slight disbelieving shake of the head, Tony clarifies, What city? Well, it's not exactly a city, the man expounds. I suppose you could call it a town. Um by your standards.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:32

Well, I guess you'd call it Okay, okay. Actually, this is kind of interesting. In do you know what create like what makes a city a city in the UK?

SPEAKER_00 1:37:43

Um bums?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:47

No. The monarch it has to be granted city status via formal letters, uh patent. So there's not a lot of actual um cities in the UK. And it doesn't like how our cities work in in North America is it's usually done by population size, right? So once you reach a certain population, you're a city. But in the UK, there it's a bit different. It has to before the 19th century, it had to be it had to have a cathedral. So before the 19th century, English and Welsh towns generally earned city status by having diocesan cathedrals. Today they're not really required anymore. Bids are mixed, uh, are judged on a mix of local identity, population size, vibrant community life, and governance. So size is not really a factor when it comes to a city.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:34

Size doesn't matter, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:38

And there were only six official cities in the UK. So, and I realize Ireland, um, depending on whether we're looking at Republic or Northern Ireland, obviously Republic of Ireland is different than, you know, but I'm pretty sure because historically they went back, they wouldn't you go back far enough, they were part of the same that they I'm kind of curious how many cities are in Ireland? I'm gonna Google the actual amount of cities, because again, it it's not a population thing, like we would do it by it's it's eleven. So there's eleven official cities, and the Republic of Ireland has five: Dublin, Cork, Galway, Limerick, and Waterford. Um, Kilkenny is legally a town, but is permitted to market itself and use the title of city due to historic charters dating back to 1609. Northern Ireland has six Belfast, Derry, Armagh, Lisbur, Newry, and Bangor. So, yeah, that's why he's trying to explain it. It's a kind of a it's not a city as you would see it. He's again, he's not wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:36

It's it's kind of difficult to compare the two.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:40

So you know, it's kind of like trying to get directions from some people, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:50

You go down the town line until you reach the old brick church, the one that broke it last summer. And and and that church, you know, that church used to be such and such, but then then after and and I just looked it up for the Republic of Ireland because I was curious as if it's changed in modern times. A town becomes officially a city through national legislation passed by the Irish Parliament. Unlike the UK, where cities are created by royal decree, the Irish system is entirely bureaucratic and tied to government administration. So to become a city, a town must be redesignated under the Local Government Act of 2001. So this is modern day, obviously, and it requires an act of parliament. Uh the government must draft debate and pass a bill specifically altering the local administrative map. And it's not just a label, it requires upgrading the local government structure from the town or municipal district into an independent city council or merged city and county council. So there's no fixed checklist, but it looks for substantial population growth, regional infrastructure, civic capacity, so it has to approve it has the administrative strength and resources to govern independently of its surrounding county, and historical background. So before they gained independence, Ireland, cities were created by the Royal Charters, but now that it's a sovereign state, it's kept its existing historic cities like Dublin, Cork, Limerick, and Waterford. And it's been pretty conservative with the title of city. Only one new city has been created by the Irish government since 1922, which is Galway.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:15

Yeah, it's just I just found that to actually do anything useful.

unknown 1:41:22

Fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:23

Anyway, um after the barkeep goes on his little uh wander, Tony in disgust demands to know what's the name of it? Glenn Cree, of course, the man answers, irritated at having to answer such a stupid question from somebody who's obviously some sort of idiot.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:39

Also, wasn't he there when they had the whole Glenn Cree, Glenn Karen, whatever debate out at the at the boat?

SPEAKER_00 1:41:46

Like did he No, he he was not there yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:50

He was off getting the luggage like a good little uh lack.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:52

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:54

Anyway, Tony repeats the name to Fitch, who tells him that there's a house there that they've used on some occasion, and Fitch says he'll need a few hours to arrange things, and then asks for the telephone number and says he'll ring Tony back as soon as everything is or in order. After Tony reads the phone number from the tag on the face of the phone, Fitch warns him that although he generally is known as a most forgiving man, Tony had better not do anything precipitous, because if he does, he'll be returning to London in a box. Tony hangs up, and the look on his face shows some concern.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:26

Yeah. This is again about time. This should be ringing some flipping bells. Not you know, not that I want to protect Tony here, but come on. I don't like seeing criminal stupidity, and this is this is bordering on that at this point. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:41

Anyway, outside we see the limo with steel in the backseat, pull up near O'Flanagan's pub, but far enough away not to be immediately visible, yet close enough to observe.

Infiltrate the Soviet embassy

SPEAKER_00 1:42:52

We have a location jump, and we then seen a car pull up to the gates of the Soviet embassy. A guard approaches, and we see Marissa and Daniel dressed as a maid and a butler flash their CCCP security badges, identifying them as authorized personnel. And they are granted entrance. But down the street we see yet another car pull up and park off to the side. Laura is driving. After Marissa and Daniel drive into the embassy compound and the gate is shut behind them, Laura makes her way to one of the walls of the compound onto the side, presumably out of the side of the guards. And she conveniently finds barrels in a garbage can that she can climb onto that will allow her to scale the wall. Amazing. She's got some some fantastic luck when it comes to climbing over walls.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:34

Well, and this is kind of funny because I I was watching this thinking, like, this is a an embassy. This is a the security sucks.

unknown 1:43:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:43

She's able to just scale the wall. She just scales the wall to get into this. And I was curious to know whether or not there actually was a Soviet embassy in Ireland in 1986, and there was near Dublin. Uh apparently it saw a change of leadership in 86, and tensions between two nations were notably complicated during this era. Just three years prior in 1983, the Irish government had expelled three Soviet diplomats from the Dublin Embassy, wow, for espionage. And newly released Irish state papers from 1986 revealed that the embassy was actively involved in diplomatic communications following the Chernobyl nuclear disaster in April of that year. This incident led to significant contact between the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs, the Soviet ambassador in Dublin, and the corresponding Irish Embassy in Moscow. So that's kind of cool to know that there actually was one and they're not just making this up.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:36

Wait, wait, you mean this show isn't real? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:42

I just mean that it wouldn't have been hard because if given given the tensions politically between Russia and the rest of the Western world, it wouldn't have been hard to just say, okay, let's imagine there's an embassy here and we can use this for our story. There actually was. I mean, granted, it's it was outside of Dublin and they're supposed to be in Glen Cree, but but it's still kind of yeah, well, they drove to Dublin, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:05

Sure. Did you get the Galaxy Quest reference?

SPEAKER_03 1:45:08

I got your Galaxy Quest reference. Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:12

Inside the compound, Marissa and Daniel get out of their car and approach the entry. They present their IDs and are permitted inside. Once again, uh once inside, they begin to walk through the foyer where they are confronted by the third secretary, Nikolai Petrosian, who demands to know where they're going. And affecting an Irish accent, Daniel says that they've come to see Secretary Kimidoff about the serving arrangements for tonight.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:37

Daniel's accent is better than Marissa's, I'm just gonna say it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:42

Secretary Kimedoff is a busy man, too busy to waste his time with that, Petrosian Petrosian insists. But as he's speaking, Secretary Kemidoff arrives and assures Petrosian that it's all right. He smiles to Marissa and Daniel, then directs him directs them to his office. Once inside, he shuts the door and asks, So, you are here to make arrangements. And in a manner of speaking, Daniel says, evasively, dropping the pretense of an accent. Kimidoff equally evasively states that on the telephone, Daniel mentions something about a package. Marissa pulls out the folded newspaper with Tony's photo and drops it on Kimidoff's desk. He looks at the paper a moment, then picks it up and opens it to read the full headline. Interested? Marissa asks. Double agents are always valuable, Kimidoff acknowledges, then adds that he cannot accept damaged goods. He'll be alive, Marissa says sternly. Kimidoff sits and then eyes Marissa and Daniel suspiciously. He demands to know if they are good Marxists or do they have a more capitalistic reward in mind.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:50

I like this this way of asking whether or not they're looking for money. This is this is very clever. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:58

Marissa makes her demands known. An American businessman named Robert Peters was arrested two years ago for smuggling political refugees through the Iron Curtain. She wants to know where he is, assuming he's still alive. Why the interest in this common political prisoner, Kemadoff asks. He's the young lady's father, Daniel states.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:18

So I remember when I when I said before I'd love to know how he and Marissa came to make this bargain. And Daniel is not known for his altruism. I I I speculated, like, sure, he could have promised to help her and then taken the money. I'm revising that thought process because she's searching for her father, and he's at the end of his life. And I wonder if he did initially agree out of out of a rare moment of empathy. And and I don't know how they met, like I don't know that origin story, but I'm wondering if this was a rare moment of empathy on Daniel's part to see this person searching for a a father she knows of, a father she knows she has, and and this being a man who can't bring himself to tell his son who he is.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:04

Yep. I I think the fact that Daniel's having health issues and he knows that they are terminal.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:10

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:11

He's his his whole perspective on a lot of things have changed. And the Earl and Steele, you know, that that father-son possibility there.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:22

Um, that's still in his mind. Marissa uh looking for her father. Um it's got him in the family mood.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:32

I was gonna say the family way, but uh No, that's that'd be I think the only reason why he kind of ditched her was that he heard that Steele and Laura were at in like he were it at I Ashford Castle and he probably was in Ireland or or what have you, and just and wanted to see Steele one more time because he knows that he's coming to the end, and so he abandoned his promise to Marissa he even though he he made it, he abandoned it because hey, here's a chance at least to see my son again before I go.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:01

And and he may have also also have uh had reason to believe that they weren't going to succeed in finding Marissa's father before he before he died, yeah. Died, so um what difference does it make, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:49:16

So exactly, exactly. So that it gives a whole new layer to his agreeing to help her and what they're doing, even though it is very farcical, putting people in the gunny sacks and switching them around. It's funny, but it's also kind of sad because he's he's trying to write a wrong via somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:33

Yeah. If he can't do it for himself, he can at least do it for somebody else. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:39

Well, Kemodov looks at him for the moment and then asks dismissively if they understand that he's merely first secretary for cultural affairs. And Daniel counters with equal dismissiveness, saying that they are merely domestics.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:53

I love the subtext here. You know, like, well, I'm just a minister. I'm not, I'm definitely not a spy. We're Just domestics. We're definitely not like we know what there's. Yeah.

unknown 1:50:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:05

Pretty much every Russian pol or every Russian ambassador and every Russian uh employee in the embassy, they were spies.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:14

Oh, for sure, for sure. It's it's just quite they're winking at each other, and I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:18

Yes. Anyway, after considering his response for a moment, Kemedov vehemently denies that he knows anything about this Robert Peters.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:27

Officially.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:28

And unofficially, Murray asks, I'll see what I can find out, he agrees. And just then the door to his office opens, and a guard shoves Laura into the room. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't just barge into the office of the secretary. Lest he be sent to Siberia for such an unforgivable breach of protocols. Unless he was actually KGB, and Kemedov wasn't, and he knew that the man was KGB. Anyway, the guard speaks to Kemedov in Russian, and Laura turns to face Daniel, then sarcastically asks, Well, what a coincidence. Yeah. And Kemadoff asks Daniel if he knows this unidentified woman. When Daniel doesn't respond immediately, Laura demands that he tell Kemadoff who she is. And resorting to his Irish character, he asks, Where's her identification? What? Laura asks, confused. Pointing, Daniel orders her to pick up her badge at the front desk and then get back to the kitchen where she belongs.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:26

Oh, oh, and then just I knew you.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:29

I knew I knew you were gonna get on that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:33

He's just perfect. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:37

Because she had Daniel in the earlier part of the episode with that we're married, and then Deer and kissing him, and she was just getting under his skin. And Daniel, this is his big middle finger back.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:47

Put her getting her back into the kitchen where she belongs. Ouch. One for Daniel, zero for Laura.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:58

Laura attempts to protest, but Kimadoff orders the guard to take her to the kitchen. As the guard forces her out, she warns Daniel that he can't keep her in the kitchen forever. And I think that's Robin Burnham. I think that's her saying, I'm not gonna be in the kitchen forever.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:15

It's great because Daniel, his response, good help is so hard to come by.

unknown 1:52:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:22

After which Kemodov admisses, yeah, they have the same problem in his country.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:27

That's just funny. That whole bit is hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:30

Well,

Let Steele and Tony settle their differences

SPEAKER_00 1:52:31

back at O'Flanagan, Steele, still in the limo, observes Tony leaving the pub. After he passes, Steele gets out, telling the driver that he's gonna take a little walk around their lovely village.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:41

So I'm wondering how long we're supposed to think that Tony was in the pub and Steele was watching, because Fitch had said on the phone it would take a couple hours to organize this safe house, right? And yeah, they do get in a fight, but that fight doesn't last more than, I don't know, five, ten minutes tops. Right. But once Tony gets to the door of the thing and it blows, obviously that hasn't been a few hours. So has t has Steele been sitting outside the pub for maybe an hour or so waiting for Tony to come out? Well, that's my assumption, maybe, because that's the only conclusion you can come to.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:13

Well, anyway, Tony approaches a nondescript building with a red door. He's just about to knock when Steele grabs his arm and turns him around.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:20

Oh no, he should have let him. He shouldn't have just let him go in the house. Would have solved all our problems. Just open the door, Tony. Go for it. Steele step back.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:29

Steele demands to know. Stopping by to have a drink of vodka with your Bolshevik buddies. Annoyed by the confrontation, Tony says that everything's straightened out now. He tries to turn back to the door, but Steele grabs him again and angrily says, Not as far as I'm concerned, mate.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:43

Yeah, how dare he? How dare he make these accusations to Steele? Like shelter in their castle, whatever. Just totally treat their room like trash. Deliberately try to undermine his and Laura's relationship. And then when everything's all fine and well, he's like, Yeah, we're good. We're fine. Don't worry about it. Just go.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:02

You're not the one, you're not the one who gets to decide that, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:05

Yeah, no, no. Piss right off. You you have to answer. Somebody just said I was thinking the same things in their comments. Like, you don't just get to fob them off. They risked jail by harboring a wanted fugitive. If nothing else, he owes them answers for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:24

What a douche jerk.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:25

What a douche canoe.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:27

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:29

What is a douche canoe?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:31

It's it's a Canadian insult. It's a very Canadian insult. It's just it's like douchebag, but we had a canoe.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:42

Anyway, um uh steel steel adds, Laura trusted you and you used her for your own traitors' means. Righteously indignant, Tony asks, I used her. You used her to keep from being deported. Where I come from, that's one step lower than a pimp.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:58

Punch him, punch him, punch him.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:02

Well, that's coming up. Tony again tries to turn away, but Steele not only grabs him and stops him from doing so, but then punches him in the face, sending him flying.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:11

And this is the thing. Steele has been remarkably restrained. Yeah, when it comes to Tony. Tony has given him ample, ample reason to punch the living crap out of him all the way prior to this, with blackmailing him into helping him with Hemsley, coming on to Laura, everything that Tony has done so far. Steele has refrained from hitting the man, but this is too far. And what kills me about this exchange, what really impresses me on Steele's part, okay, is that he comes up to Tony and he says, Laura trusted you and you used her. He's not angry that Tony was trying to you know horn in on his wife.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:51

He's angry that Laura He's angry that Tony Tony was trying to horn in on his wife without being invited.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:57

No, he's he's no, he's angry that Laura's trust was broken. He's angry on Laura's behalf. He's not angry on his own behalf. He says she trusted you and you used her. So it's not even jealousy that's that's driving this punch. It's literally like, my wife trusted you, my wife believed in you, and you treated her like crap. You just dismissed like how freaking dare you! That's why I like this punch so much, because Tony turns around and basically accuses Steele of using Laura for his own means. And and I mean, if if we're going to ever try to excuse the Clarissa debacle, he initially didn't want to involve Laura at all. He tried his best not to. He did it in a very stupid way, but he tried his best not to. And when it came down to it, Laura was the one who agreed to fake the marriage. Steele was not forcing her. He he he realized that the alternative was him having to leave the country, but it he wasn't forcing her to do it. So for Tony to make that accusation and basically say that oh, oh, yeah, that's a satisfying punch. And somebody in the comments just said, you know, every punch had to be so satisfying, agreed. But this punch is extra satisfying because Tony is so far out of line, and Steele was for the first time not coming at him from a place of jealousy, not coming at him from a place of selfishness, not coming at him from I'm angry at you for me, I'm angry at you for her. That is a good that's a good good man, good husband, not real husband, but good fake husband. Good for you, Steele.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:32

Well, the two men begin fighting, and as they do, a crowd gathers to watch. At first, Steele seems to be having the better of it, finally knocking Tony down after several minutes. But then Tony gets up and charges Steele, propelling them both onto a hay cart, which then begins rolling down an incline of the ground, the fight continuing as it does. The crowd of observers begin running alongside the cart as the two men continue to battle it out until the cart encounters a barrel that stops its travel, but also causes it to dump Steele and Tony and most of the load of hay onto the ground where another hay back hay sits. The fight continues in the hay, but after a short moment, Steele manages to grab Tony by his jacket, pulls him off to the side, and then tosses him through the set of doors leading into the place called O'Henry's, a fine drinking establishment with a plate class window.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:21

They've got a pub beside a pub beside a pub beside a pub. That's yeah, that's that's right, actually. That's about correct.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:26

That's about right, yeah. Up here at a pot store next to a pot store, next to a pot store, next to a actually here too. Steele pauses for a moment to turn to the crowd and raise his arms in victory as the crowd expresses its appreciation at the entertainment.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:41

And then he turns and He's both enjoying the fact that he's beating the crap out of Tony, but also like, I got it.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:50

Well, then he turns and follows Tony inside where we hear the sound of the fight continuing.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:54

This is so cartoonish. We hear the and we follow the camera across till they come to the other side.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:02

As the fight moves deeper into the building until we suddenly see steel come crashing out through the large plate glass window. As he lays on the ground amidst the debris, recovering, Tony comes out, his face bloody, and followed by several men. One of the men holds up a bill and shouts, A Fiverr on the lad in gray. The man next to him hollers, You're covered me, boy. Tony bends down, picks up Steele, and then while he holds Steele up with his left hand, cuts loose, and nails him in the face with his right fist. Both men are now bleeding from their respective noses. Steele stumbles backwards into the arms of several men behind him. They keep him from falling down, then becoming back into combat. Steele takes a swing at Tony but misses as Tony guts, then falls to the ground in front of the men who held Steele upright a second before. Steele stumbles onto the arms of the more men opposite of the men who had held him up previously. He asks one of the men, What are the odds? Even money, Bimboy, even money is the answer as he's pushed back into the fight. Steele crashes into Roselli. The two men fall to the ground, Steele over Roselli. Roselli punches up at Steele, hitting him in the face and knocking him down to his back. As Steele struggles to get to his feet, Roselli manages to get to his knees and gets off another punch, again, knocking Steele down. As Roselli stumbles around trying to steady himself and remain on his feet, Steele gets up and gives him one more punch, sending him flying backward and into a water trough.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:22

That's the best. That is just that that image of Tony going straight face first in the water trough.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:28

Shit's a classic trope from the Western. We have been waiting for that.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:39

That would have just made it perfect to be literally covered in horse, you know, extra men. But hey, we can't have everything.

unknown 2:00:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:47

Well, police officer arrives, ordering the crowd of men to disperse, then grabs Steele, ordering him to break it up. He then turns to Roselli, who's soaked and dripping from his head, and repeats the directive, but then recognizes Roselli and declares, Well now, I think we've found our Russian bear. Breathing heavily, Roselli pants out, The house, the one with the red door. The people in that house can explain everything. I promise. Go ahead, ask him. Shaking his head at Rosoli Roselli.

unknown 2:01:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:18

The officer warns you know the people they shouldn't name two TED characters on two different shows with so similar a name.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:26

To be fair if Rosoli and Isles came a lot later from this.

unknown 2:01:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:36

This cop, I don't I don't want to say he deserves to die, but this is really stupid. He's he's got this this suspect who he believes to be a double agent. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:47

He turns and walks and leaves.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:48

He turns and walks away. He's like, that house over there with the red door, they'll explain everything. Just go knock and ask. And the cop's just like, this better not be agent. You better not be fooling me. I'm gonna walk away. Like, what is wrong with you, dude? Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:11

Roselli continues shaking his head and nearly falls over when the officer lets go, prompting Steele to reach out, grab him, and hold him up, which is just conveniently also helps Steele remain upright, upright as he is much the worse for the wearer. The officer walks over toward the door of the house with the red door. As he arrives, he pauses, looks back at Steele and Roselli, just to ensure they aren't going anywhere, you know, because he he has to be able to trust the man that he's trying to arrest that may or may not be lying about being a double agent. That's right. I mean, I I trust you not to leave, but I only trust you so far. You know, once I get about 20 yards away, I really can't trust you anymore. Uh anyway, um he turns back, reaches up with his hand to the bell button in the middle of the door, and then with his pointing finger, reaches out and presses the button. The house explodes. The pressure from the blast, as well as the unexpected nature of the blast, causes Tony to fall into steel and causes stuff steel to reel backward.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:07

Okay, here's my question. What if Tony hadn't rang the bell? What if he just tried to open the door? Would it still have exploded? Was it tied directly to the bell? Or was it like if he had just opened the door?

SPEAKER_00 2:03:18

It w well obviously it was connected directly to the bell. But that doesn't mean it wasn't also wired with a tripwire that would kick it if he just bypassed that and opened the door.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:30

Just curious.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:33

A smart assassin would cover his bases.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:37

True.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:38

Uh anyway, a second explosion adds to the devastation of Steele and Roselli stand looking at the carnage, which includes the life of the police officer.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:46

Still struggling for breath, Steele expounds that Okay. This is problematic and I'll I'll explain in a minute. Still struggling for breath, Steele expounds that given their past differences, he suggests that a strategic retreat is in order. And shaking his head and equally struggling for breath, Roselli asks, why can't Steele just say run? And then they do. Now the problem is the line. Given our past differences, Anthony, I suggest a strategic retreat is in order. That doesn't make sense. If you think about the line, given our past differences, our past differences dictate that we should retreat. No, that's not what it says. That's not what it should say.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:29

What it says in the original script that we have is putting aside our past differences. That would make more sense. That makes more sense.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:39

Why was that line changed from something that made sense to something that is total nonsense? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:45

The only thing that I can guess is maybe Brosnan just said it wrong and for whatever reason they had to go with that take. Like maybe he just flowed the line.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:54

Might have been.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:54

Because it you're right. It does not make sense. I I remember thinking that when I heard him say it. Like, given our past differences, what does that have anything to do about it? The explosion is why you should run. Your past differences have nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:05:06

Yeah, the past differences don't give you the cause to run. No. But your past differences would be an impediment to the two of you running. But we're gonna set those aside because we gotta get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:18

I was listening to a podcast on a TV show called One Tree Hill, and it was hosted by three of the actresses that have that were on the show. And they were talking about how sometimes, like, because you know how they have to do a take multiple times, different coverage angles and whatever. And they were saying that there were occasions where the take that was used was not the best take, because a couple of these these actresses had then later gone on to direct episodes, and they had talked about how the take that was sometimes used is not always the best take. It's sometimes the take that has the right coverage that they need or the right um shot or something that is right about it. Exactly, and that and that therefore sometimes the line reading or the emotional delivery is not maybe what they wanted as an actress. That's maybe not the take they wanted as an actress, but it's the take that the director needed for whatever other reason. So I'm wondering if Steele flubbed the line, or Steele and Brosnan flubbed the line, and for whatever other reason they needed that take specifically, so they kind of just went, eh, whatever. Because it could make it it doesn't make sense to rewrite it that way at all.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:25

Well, anyway, next we see police cars racing through the village to the word

Turn an uneasy truce into an alliance

SPEAKER_00 2:06:30

the scene of the chaos. Tony and Remington are crouched hiding behind a stone wall. As the cars pass and roll off into the distance, the two men sit up and take in their surroundings and their situation. Steele asks Tony, What do you think of Ireland so far? I'm from the Travel Bureau. How have you been enjoying your vacation?

SPEAKER_03 2:06:48

How are you enjoying Scenic Ireland?

SPEAKER_00 2:06:50

Yes. Tony looks down in embarrassment and admits that he owes Steele an apology. Accepted Steele says graciously. He looks around, and of course he should, as it's always a good idea to keep monitoring your surroundings when you are the unwilling and unwitting suspect of a manhut. Then he asks, since Tony now knows that Steele didn't set him up, any ideas who did.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:11

So Steele is I've criticized his immaturity for the first two halves of this season. This is amazing. The fact that not only like Tony offered his apology, Steele accepts it. Unequivocally. He just says, fine, accept it. And then we've punched it's over here. We're moving on. And not only are we we moving on, I'm helping you. Because he knows that Tony's in trouble and he's gonna he's gonna help him out, even though he does not like the man and doesn't have any reason why he should like the man. It's just they've punched out their differences, which is apparently how things are between men sometimes. And Tony has apologized. Steele, okay, fine, fair. We're back to square one. Good for him.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:56

Well, Tony nods and says, Yeah, the guy who sent him to that house, Fitch. Steele comments that it appears Rosoli. Rizol Roselli dug up two moles for the price of one. Yeah, Roselli says, except that nobody's gonna believe his version of the events. Uh high up in British intelligence, Steele surmises. Top rung, Roselli confirms. Steele chuckles, saying, It's ironic. Only you and me and and then he pauses. And what, Roselli asks? Steele concludes his statement that only Tony Steele and the Russians know that Tony's innocent.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:36

That is funny.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:38

And then without explanation, Tony says, Kemedov. Obviously not an Irishman, Steele quip. Tony explains that a spy as high up as Fitch would only contact one man, Kemedov. Um I don't know how the spy business works, but I'm pretty sure there would not be only one person a trader could and would contact. I mean, certainly they would likely only work with one person after they've been recruited and set up as a double agent. But I don't think it's reasonable for Tony to assume who that person is.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:13

I'm hand-waving. I'm hand waving.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:20

Anyway, so Steele asks how they can find Kemedov. Through the Soviet embassy in Dublin, Tony advises. See, they got the geography correct.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:27

That's right. That is true. They did get it right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:30

If he can get Kemedov to point the finger at Fitch, Tony might be able to get out of this with his skin. Tony starts to get up, but Steele pulls him back down, reminding him that his face is as familiar as Patty's pig. What is Patty's pig? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:42

I don't know, and I wasn't able to find anything on it. I looked. So yeah. I'm wondering if it's just a reference to the fact that Patty is a common uh abbreviation of Patrick. And Patrick is a very common name in Ireland, so therefore it's as familiar as Patty's pig. It must be everybody's. It's kind of like how John Smith being like the most you know ubiquitous name.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:06

Yeah. Well, he he asks Tony if he doesn't think it would be wiser if he got a lay of the land instead of Tony. And cautiously, Tony asks Steele if that means he's gonna help. Well, Steele ponders for a moment and admits that seeing how he's already on the hook for harboring a fugitive, kidnapping a KGB agent isn't gonna make much of a difference.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:27

It's like in for a penny, in for a pound. Well, I've already done this, I might as well keep going. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:34

Tony looks away, wipes the bit of blood from the corner of his mouth, and turns back to Steele and apologizes for the crack he made earlier about Steele being lower than a pimp, admitting that he was out of line. And Steele doesn't try to make nice or allow for excuses. Uh he looks at Tony and says, Yes, you were.

SPEAKER_01 2:10:51

And I I also like this because it it they don't have to be friends, they don't have to like each other. But and Tony, I'll give him some credit here, recognizes that what he said was unfair. He has seen firsthand that Laura and Steele have something. That they're that their marriage may be fake, but their relationship isn't, and that he respects Steele enough to know that that's not the person Steele is.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:17

He heard Steele doesn't dismiss his apology as being it's no big deal. Because by dismissing the apology, you're dismissing the the assumption. The assumption that it's yeah. So he just looks no, yeah, you you were out of line. But there's kind of an implied and don't do it again.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:42

There's an implied don't do it again, but there's also an implied you were out of line, but I appreciate that admission. It's not like you were out of line and I'm okay with it. He's he's not okay with it, but he appreciates Tony admitting that that that he was out of line, and yeah, there's that underlining Don't do it again. Like just don't.

SPEAKER_00 2:12:03

Back at the castle, Steele sneaks Roselli through the hallways to his room.

SPEAKER_01 2:12:08

It's funny that he's sneaking Steele back into not his bedroom, but Tony's bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 2:12:14

Steele deposits Roselli into the room, telling him to lock the door and stay out of sight until Steele gets back from Dublin. Tony closes the door but is suddenly whacked over the head by a fire poker, courtesy of Daniel. Yep. And out in the hall, Steele congratulates himself on getting Tony tucked away safe and sound. Yep. And but as he begins to leave the door, he is set upon by McLean, uh McLean, who advises him that there's a policeman downstairs who'd like to ask him some questions. When McLean asks if he should show the officer in, Steele puts him off, saying, Give Steele five minutes and then show the officer into the study. Downstairs. As McLean leaves to carry out the directions, Steele rushes off in the other direction, then down to his and Laura's chambers, where we see him begin pawing through the suitcase for clothes. Next, we see Steele climbing out down the drain pipe on the side of the castle, and once on the ground, he rushes away from the building, pausing long enough to greet the gardener with love your hydrangeas. And we also see that he's wearing a smoking jacket and has an ascot or scarf draped around his nest. Neck draped around his neck. He then climbs through a window, into the study, rushes over to a table laden with odds and ends, grabs a pipe, shoves it into his mouth, despite the fact that it not only is it lit, but it doesn't even have any tobacco in it.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:31

No, it's just there for show.

unknown 2:13:33

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 2:13:34

He grabs a book and then quickly sits down facing the door and begins to pretend to read, not bothering to notice that he has the book upside down.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:43

The whole thing is hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 2:13:46

McLean enters the room and announces, Detective Inspector O'Brien, your lordship. Steele breathlessly thanks McLean and then invites the inspector in. Attempting to excuse his heavy breathing, he says, Shalom Casey, referencing the book, Shadow of a Gunman always leaves me breathless. And it's only then that he notices the book is inverted, and he rotates it but tries to disguise the move by closing the book and setting it on his lap. Steele asks the inspector, What brings him to Ashford Castle? O'Brien lifts the newspaper, hands it to Steele, and directs his attention to the photo of Roselli on the front page, asking if Steele has seen the man in the photo. Steele feigns studying the photo, and then taking the pipe from his mouth, he begins gesturing and pointing with the stem, saying, Oh yes, speedy eyes. Yes. And then holding the newspaper so the inspector can see the evidence that Steele points out in the photo. Look at that. Just honest scowl. Obviously a hardened criminal.

SPEAKER_03 2:14:40

I like the fact that he does this because Tony's nowhere to hear this. This is just for himself. This is just for funties.

unknown 2:14:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:14:46

The inspector explains that the man in the photos wanted for espionage, and his men think that they saw him heading for the Steele's castle. Steele returns the pipe to his mouth and assures the inspector that he will keep a weather eye out for him. As he begins walking the inspector to the door, he adds that if they get wind of any communists up here, the inspector shall be the first to hear about it. And at the door they exchange pleasantry as the inspector leaves, and Steele falls back against the door, still breathing heavily, though perhaps as much from the tension of the situation as the physical exertion from moments before. Next, it is night. My body's weak. I'm on the room Thank you, Christopher Cross. Laura drives up to the castle, parks the car, and gets out, nearly slamming the door as she does, and then walks to the front door of the castle. Inside, Mildred is sitting in a dimly lit room, candles as the only source of light. Which is somewhat incongruous with the exterior shot we just saw, in which a number of seemingly well-lit rooms were visible with a level of light greater than candles would provide.

SPEAKER_01 2:15:50

But I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:15:52

Hand waves. When Laura hauls out anyone home, Mildred nearly jumps up and screams in panic. Concerned, Laura asks, What's the matter? Voice trembling. Mildred says, Ghosts, the boss's castle is haunted. And she opens a book.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:07

They're all haunted.

unknown 2:16:08

Come on.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:09

Come on. You can't tell me that every single castle in the United Kingdom or anywhere else that has a castle isn't haunted by somebody.

SPEAKER_00 2:16:18

Mildred opens the book, points to a page, and begins reading. Sir Dennis O'Keefe, slain in the 14th century during the Battle of Um Amal Amalgan. Okay. Amalgan. Amalgan? Whatever. I don't remember how it was pronounced.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:37

Okay, did you did you read this from the script?

SPEAKER_00 2:16:41

The name of it. No, I don't think.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:44

Or were you just going on how she said it? Because I couldn't, okay. Because I was trying to find this battle, and it sounded to me like she said the Battle of Omond in Roms, but that probably is wrong. Um so I tried to just Google Sir Dennis O'Keefe and I tried to Google whether or not there was a battle in the 14th century and what it might have been.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:03

And the only thing I could find that would have taken apostrophe M-O-N-G-A-N.

SPEAKER_01 2:17:11

Because I can't I couldn't find any information about that particular battle at all, nor could I find anything about a person named Sir Dennis O'Keefe. The only thing I could find from the 14th century, the Battle of Thomund, uh, which was fought in Ireland on July 14th, 1328, between the forces of William de Berg and an army led by Brian Ban O'Brien, Lord of Thomond. It was fought near Thurrells and modern County Tipperary and featured powerful Gaelic and Anglo-Irish forces on both sides. So that was the only one that I could find that would fit that time period. But I didn't find anything about a Sir Dennis O'Keefe. So I'm guessing they just made this up.

SPEAKER_00 2:17:50

Unless anybody has Google says Omangan Battle. It looks like there may be a small typo or phonetics phonetic spelling in your query.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:00

Yeah, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:02

There is um 1939, there's a uh nine uh 1898 battle of Omdurum.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:11

Yeah, but neither of those are the 14th century, right? So there's one.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:17

Um, but yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:20

Because I looked, I spent a good 20 minutes trying to find this this battle, and I couldn't. So if anyone else can, I would I would I would be very curious. But the only thing I could find was that that the Battle of Thilmond, and I could not find any evidence of a sargeno.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:36

I'm finding um let's see here, a um in the Atlantic Religion website, there is a reference. Well, according to to Google, there's a reference on this website to it, but not on the actual page.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:52

Oh, that's annoying. Yes, gotta love um that's probably the AI overview, I'm guessing.

SPEAKER_00 2:18:59

No, it's it's the actual summary. Okay, here we go. The conception of Mongan and Daubaka's love for Mongan. And the reference here is um to a story.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:15

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:19:16

Uh then there's also a reference to and this is on Facebook, um, Friends of Irish Culture Center in Phoenix, Arizona, the tomb of Father Cornelius O'Mongan in Maghair Kell County, Tyrone. Father Omangan was a priest during the years of the Catholic penal laws when clergy was banned from the country. Priests such as Father Omongan celebrated Mass at hidden locations and were constantly pursued by soldiers and priest hunters. If caught, these renegade priests could be executed. Father Omongan administered the Catholics of Doningmore, Urney, and Termon Termonmongan parishes of counties Donegal and Tyrone.

SPEAKER_01 2:20:05

Well, this is worth it just listening to you butcher the Gaelic.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:10

Well, did you expect anything less from me?

SPEAKER_03 2:20:13

No, that's why I let you go. That's why I let I just sat back and let you cook.

SPEAKER_00 2:20:19

Uh anyway, um, she says that uh this uh Sir Down Sakith roams the castle when the moon is full, calling for his beloved Mary Margaret or Margaret Mary. Uh Laura sighs and shakes her head pityingly. Speaking of free spirits, she says, has Mr. Steele materialized?

SPEAKER_03 2:20:37

She just brushes aside the fact that poor Mildred is terrified right now.

SPEAKER_01 2:20:40

That's right. And I love the fact that Mildred, like they obviously didn't have much for Mildred to do, and they want to justify her being in the finale because you don't want to sideline one of your best characters in what is the finale of your series. So they have to have a reason for her to be in Ireland, and there really isn't any. Like they've she's just sort of horn in another honeymoon. That's right. So they had to give her a storyline, and basically her storyline is sitting around researching stuff about the castle and providing comic relief for either one of them when they fronted her. And honestly, I'm fine with that because it's kind of great.

unknown 2:21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:14

Well, after Laura asks if Mr. Steele has materialized, Mildred says he put on his tux and left. What about Daniel Chalmers? Laura asks. He put on his tux and left too. Laura turns to leave. Mildred panics and weakly asks, What about Sir Dennis? Laura dismissively answers, Tell him to put on his tux and follow the crowd.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:34

That's one of my favorite lines in the entire episode is put up, tell him to put on his tux and follow the crowd.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:42

Laura leaves, leaving Mildred alone with her book and Sir Dennis.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:21:46

Next we see Laura letting herself into Daniel's room. At the foot of the bed is a footlocker with a suitcase set on top. She checks the luggage tag on the suitcase, then opens the lid. And as far as we can see, there's nothing inside. The supposition is also supported by the fact that she quickly drops the lid without any further actions. She moves to the side of the bed, searches briefly, but again doesn't seem to find anything significant. She moves across the room to the dresser and begins going through Daniel's drawers.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:16

Now she's in Daniel's drawers. Everyone's in everyone's drawers in this episode, but weirdly no one's getting any action.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:24

At first she doesn't spot anything of interest in the several drawers that she opens, but then she opens a drawer, the contents of which causes her to freeze in place. She looks at the items for several moments, then raises her head, stares out, studying her unseen thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:39

So I'm guessing that you're liking this outfit she's got on here.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:46

The white sweater? Oh yeah. She looks good here. This is a nice sweater. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_00 2:22:54

It's got some interesting points later on. It's still night, but we are now at the Russian Embassy.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:04

That's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:08

But we're now at the Russian Embassy, and it appears that there's some sort of grand gala taking place. Limos are arriving, each stopping outside the entry just long enough to disgorge the sojourners contained within, who then make their ways to the front door and enter. Then we see Steele modeling a classic trench coat and the lovely beige from our exclusive American Detectives collection. This is represents the very essence of the tough guy. Someone who doesn't take shinola from anyone. I love it. You too can stand out when what you should really be doing is blending in. Only $450. Also available is the Colombo model, which comes pre-rumpled, only $625.

SPEAKER_01 2:23:47

All right, that's the sound bite for the next.

SPEAKER_00 2:23:51

Make sure I find that, but uh when one of the incoming visitors pauses to light a cigarette after having exited his limo, Steele jumps into action. He approaches the man, apologizing for troubling him, but he seems to have lost the cufflink somewhere around the corner over there. Could he trouble the man for a light? The man says, Yes, monsieur, after you. And though he says with a French accent and with French words, which might explain the French accent.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:19

Well, he says bien sir, and then he says après vous, but yeah. And this is very James Bond, this whole bit. Like it it's unf it just must have killed him to be doing the basically playing Bond after he just lost Bond.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:35

Well, the two men walk off camera, and as we look at Shrubbery outside the window, we hear the sound of a fist hitting the face. Yeah. A grunt, and then the sound of a body hitting the ground. And a moment later, Steele steps out from behind the shrubs, the man's invitation in hand.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:24:49

Steele steps to the entrance, shows the invitation to the guards, and then tells the men, Mozilla, as he is granted admittance. Inside the embassy, we see Roselli on his back on the floor, head and shoulders sticking out of a gunnysack, a gag around his mouth, and he's unconscious.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:07

This is my favorite version of Tony.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:09

Tony and a sack.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:11

Only $5.95, Tony a sack.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:17

Tony sold separately.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:20

Or in separate pieces.

unknown 2:25:22

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 2:25:23

Marissa wearing a glittering evening dress, unlike her previous visits, is looking on as Daniel, who is in a full tuxedo, again, unlike their previous visits, is telling Kemedov your package, as promised. Kemedov expresses his pleasure. And now for your part of the bargain, Marissa prompts the secretary. We have no bargain, he says. Not until he talks. Which of course wasn't the deal.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:47

Daniel points out that Rosilli can they promised him not just the person, but the information. Like he has to have information worth trading. If Tony can't give him anything, there's no I kind of see where Kamadoff is coming from here, but Yeah, but that wasn't part of the deal.

SPEAKER_00 2:26:06

Anyway, let's uh um Yes, uh he says we have no bargain, not until he talks, which of course wasn't part of the deal. Daniel points out that Roselli can hardly say much while he's unconscious. Then we will have to wait, Kimadoff tells him. Marissa angrily challenges him, saying that wasn't part of the deal. Gamadoff points at Marissa and in a breathy voice warns I am altering the deal. Price I do not alter it any further. Yeah, no. How do I know he's worth anything until we have a chance to chat? He says. And what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Marissa demands to know. Kamadoff smiles and tells her, try the caviar.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:50

I wonder if it's the same caviar that like from the other episode. Bing. Yeah, he's Bing. Bing. He's somewhere in the whatever.

SPEAKER_00 2:27:04

Listen for things being broken. That's sort of.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:07

Exactly. There's Bing.

SPEAKER_00 2:27:10

Now I'm thinking at this point, Daniel and Marissa should be seeing red flags, no pun intended, flying on over the place. Roselli is supposedly a Russian spy. But Kemanov is not acting as if Roselli is a Russian spy. Instead, he's acting as if he's merely a captured American or British agent who might or might not be a source of useful information. This should be concerning.

SPEAKER_01 2:27:34

Yeah. I think it is, but they know there's nothing that they can do about it at this point.

SPEAKER_00 2:27:39

Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 2:27:40

He said try the caviar. Like they're there, obviously Marissa is angry that he's not honoring his part of the bargain. But beyond, like you can't go to the authorities and say, hey, the Russian spy is refusing to hold up his end of the deal.

SPEAKER_00 2:27:54

That's right. Anyway, back down at the party, Bond, I mean, sorry, Neil and the Tugs is walking through the milling throng of partygoers. Suddenly, Daniel's voice. Suddenly Daniel's voice rings out, Harry! Daniel and Marissa make their way across to Steele, with Daniel snagging a drink from the waiters they do. Remington confronts Daniel, asking if he's rubbing elbows with our eastern cousins. Daniel admits that he hasn't realized that Harry went in for diplomatic soirees. Late invitation, Steele says obliquely. I thought I'd see how the other side lives. You couldn't point out Secretary Kemedov, could you? He's upstairs, Daniel says, the undertone of his voice suggesting a warning that Steele is approaching a boundary that shouldn't be crossed.

SPEAKER_01 2:28:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:28:45

Steele grunts in response. As he and Daniel have been conversing, Steele's gaze repeatedly returns to Marissa, vague recognition tickling at the edges of his consciousness. Daniel catches the looks and attempts to detour Steele's thoughts, apologizing for his lapse of manners. He then introduces Marissa to Steele as Countess Inga Oleson, and Mr. Remington Steele to the Countess as the private investigator par excellence. And in what script describes as a Swedish accent, though you can prove it by me, she accepts the introduction, saying that it's a pleasure to meet him.

SPEAKER_01 2:29:20

It's better than her Irish accent, I'll say that.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:22

Okay. Steele responds as Ediquate dictates that the pleasure is all his, he's sure. Grinning, Daniel says that the Countess graciously called on him to escort her this evening. Steele, perhaps not yet sure of his recollection, asks the Countess if they haven't met somewhere before. Cajally she responds that she's sure she would remember a face like his. That's very kind of you to say, but I'm sure we've met somewhere, Steele suggests. And the grin on his face at this point tells me that he's connected the dots. He's just giving her the chance to do it.

SPEAKER_01 2:29:55

Yeah, he's figured it out. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:29:57

But instead of fessing up, she just simply says that she's a woman of many interests. Steele gives a and then reveals that he realizes she's also a woman of many accents, and that he was rather partial to her Irish brogue.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:11

He'd be the only one. He'd be the only one. It was terrible.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:16

Well, I I'll say this. Um, how to put this?

SPEAKER_01 2:30:22

Um he's trying to put something tactfully, it's it's always an amusing any attractive redhead with an Irish accent is hot. Okay. So the quality of the accent does not matter. Got it. No.

SPEAKER_00 2:30:36

Uh and then calmly without any change of expression at being found out, she asks, Didn't I make a convincing scrub woman? And grinning, Steele teases that she made one fatal mistake. And now, with the slightest bit of interest, uh slightest bit of surprise, she inquires as to the mistake. Steele says, You were the only one that didn't present me with a bill.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:55

I love that. I love that that was what tips him off. Wait a minute, she didn't tell me I owed him money.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:00

That's right. Then to Daniel, he asks, What are you doing here, by the way? And the jovial tone of moments before is replaced with a sincere tone as Daniel says, I stakes roulette, my boy. But his nonspecific revelation is accompanied by a short coughing fit, which Daniel attributes to the damned Russian vodka sticks in the throat. Then, spotting the Belden attache and an opportunity to detach himself and Marissa from further conversation with Steele, he excuses themselves and the two move along. And for a moment, Steele follows them with his gaze and a disturbed look on his eyes.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:36

Next time I wonder if Steele is obviously not suspecting that something's wrong with his health because you know Daniel, aside from a couple of coughing fits, is not really looking like he's sick.

SPEAKER_00 2:31:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:51

But I'm wondering if there's something in Steele's subconscious. He's known Daniel for so long. They've been through so much together that there's something in his subconscious telling him, hey, something's not right.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:02

Well, also, probably the uh high stakes uh Roulette, yeah. Roulette comment has got him concerned as well. But uh yeah, anytime you're dealing with the Russians, you know, and you and you're talking calling it high stakes.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:18

Russian roulette, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:32:20

Yeah, there there's always that chance, yes. Uh anyway, Steele slips upstairs looking for Kemedov. He moves from room to room, testing the doors. All are locked. But as he's skulking about, he hears a moan emanate from one of the rooms. He moves to the door that seems to be the most likely source. He checks his pocket for his lockpick set. He doesn't seem to find it, and he pulls something out of the lapella of his jacket, but I can't tell what it is. Whatever it is, he uses it to pick the lock. He enters the room, finds the gunny sack containing Roselli, who, now fully encased in the container, is struggling to get out. Steele rushes over, unties the rope, keeping that keeping the bag closed. He opens the bag and realizing it's Roselli, scolds him, saying, He thought he told him to stay low. Roselli argues that he did. Steele begins lifting Roselli to his feet, asking why he didn't stay at the castle. Roselli explains that he walked into his room and the lights went out. Then suddenly they hear a sound coming from the door of someone approaching. Roselli begins to get back into his bag, a good place for him, and Steele takes up a position that will be behind the door when it's opened. Kemadov walks in, sees Tony partially out of the bag, but doesn't have any time to do anything about it before Steele hits him over the head, knocking him out. Now what? Roselli asks in annoyance. Bag him, Steele instructs. We have a time jump.

SPEAKER_01 2:33:40

And thus the gunny sack uh games begin.

unknown 2:33:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:33:45

Next we have a time jump and we're back at the castle. Laura's sitting in Daniel's room in the dark. The door of the room opens and Daniel walks in. He closes the door, turns on the light, and then turns to come in, but he spots Laura.

Laura uncovers Daniel's secret

SPEAKER_00 2:33:57

Laura asks if he always makes his security rounds. Dressed in black tie. In his practiced, casual tone, he tells her that even the help gets a night off every now and then. And she says, Why don't we drop the charade? I know you're not the chief of security. You turn down the job. Daniel dismisses it as a minor technicality.

SPEAKER_01 2:34:17

Not really. I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:34:19

Yeah, really. What are you doing? You don't work here. Well, it's a minor technicality.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:24

It's a minor technicality. I want to work here, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:34:29

She says, You came here because you knew he'd be here, didn't you? And she words it as a question, but it's a statement of fact. And Daniel begins to cough and says, the night air catches in the throat. Then, if you'll excuse me, I really must turn in before I get a chill. It's not the Irish air and it's not the Irish damp, she says. A mix of sternness and gentleness in her voice.

SPEAKER_01 2:34:51

This is her performance here is fantastic. Because we as the audience don't yet know what she's found, right? Right. But we can hear in her audience, or in her, sorry, in her voice, that she, like you just said, sternness and gentleness. There's a an empathy in her tone and in her bearing that we haven't seen from her where Daniel is concerned, pretty much ever. And the fact that obviously he was content to let her think that she was he was just making up, you know, the black lung bit earlier. And now when he tries to brush it off, oh, you know, the night air, it sticks in the throat, whatever it is, he said she's not buying it. That it's just so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:36

She's basically calling his bluff and saying, Stop at the BS.

SPEAKER_01 2:35:39

It's but it's she delivers the line in a really powerful way, and yeah, just Stephanie is crazy, crazy talented. She's she's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:35:49

Would it make me look like a pathetic wimp or seem like a pathetic wimp if I admit that this scene made me blurry-eyed?

SPEAKER_01 2:35:55

It's sad. It's no, it is, it it it really is sad because of all the people to show Daniel Grace, the fact that it's Laura makes it that much more impactful, I think.

SPEAKER_02 2:36:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:36:09

Because she's now recognizing what even if she hasn't put all the pieces together, she's recognizing what steel means to Daniel, and it's no longer a case of I've got him or you've got him. She knows that Daniel's there because he doesn't have a lot of time left. Whatever else he's doing in the, you know, whatever other scam he's pulling, regardless of that, I don't know. She just she she cares for him and she's kind to him in a way that that we haven't seen. And yeah, it is a very, very um sentimental scene. It's done really well. It's not over the top, you know, it's handled in a way that is supposed to make you feel blurry-eyed when you watch it.

SPEAKER_00 2:36:49

I think part of it also is that based on Daniel's past and his relationship with Steele, you would kind of expect him to one, be trying to drag Steele into a a situation, which he's not. And secondly, you would expect him to maybe use that as a lure to Steele.

SPEAKER_01 2:37:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:37:25

But he's not. In fact, he's he's going out of his way to hide it from Steel. And I think she's seeing that underneath the cajoling personality that he has with Steele of life is merry, let's go scam somebody. Oh, that's my boy. You know, underneath it, it's not a s it's not a superficial relationship or or a an emotional relationship based on their criminal activity.

SPEAKER_02 2:37:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:37:58

That underneath that that that that's that's there, but underneath that is a genuine feeling for steel that that I think up till now she's kind of dismissed. I I don't think she she really I think she previously saw Daniel as just simply using Steel for his advantage. Yeah. And not really having any sincere deep feelings for Steel beyond, hey, we're criminals together, uh, aren't we buddies? We're in the same club. So I I think I think this is her having an eye-opening moment.

SPEAKER_01 2:38:35

Yeah, she's recognizing the bond that it goes far deeper than pardon the pun with the bond.

SPEAKER_00 2:38:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:38:41

Um, that it goes far deeper than, like you said, just two criminals that have had adventures together. And that act that Daniel has, that perpetually life is happy, I'm never gonna feel anything bad, is not Daniel, it's not it's not a con per se, it's it's a cover. It's him, it's Daniel covering up his own hurts, his own secrets, his own emotions, and she knows that Steele has done the same thing, maybe not in the same way, but Steele has covered his own hurts and his own secrets the same way. And so she's seeing that as well. She's seeing that Daniel is not as much of a liar or a schemer as I mean, yes, he is, but he's also a man who's reached the end of his life, who's desperately trying to not alter the way people see him. He doesn't want pity, he doesn't want sympathy, he doesn't want people to be crying over him or any of that. He just wants to keep that relationship he's had with and you can sort of understand not wanting laugh. Exactly. Like you can sort of understand Daniel not wanting to reveal his his parentage to Steele at this point in time because he's gonna die and and there's not much he can do after to continue. So what does it matter? Yeah, exactly. Why not let him just believe that he is the mentor and the friend that he's always been rather than alter that relationship and possibly alter the way Steele sees him and and yeah, so it's uh it's layered. This whole scene is layered.

SPEAKER_00 2:40:11

Well, anyway, Laura stands and walks over to Daniel's dresser, her right hand clutched around something, but we don't see it yet. She opens the top drawer, reaches in, pulls out a bottle, and sets it firmly on the top. She half turns to look at him and says, You have more pills in here than a drugstore. Daniel grins, looking up at the heavens and then back at Laura. And with a mix of admiration and chastisement, he ruefully says, Yeah. Leave it to Linda to dig until she comes up with all the morbid little details. Well, Laura turns to face Daniel full on, showing off some of the finer points of her sweater. Um Hey, I'm a guy. I notice these things, okay?

SPEAKER_03 2:40:51

Well, the fact that I know exactly what you're referring to, I guess, suggests that I noticed it as well. So keep going, keep going.

SPEAKER_00 2:40:57

She steps toward him and begins, I know you and I have had a strained relationship at best. We've always been vying for the same object, he interjects. Why don't we take off the gloves and talk truth for a change? She offers. Coldly, Daniel says, I don't like the truth. I spent my whole life dancing around its edges.

SPEAKER_01 2:41:16

And this is that that's a line, right? Like that just tells you almost everything you need to know about Daniel. That he's very he and Steele are a lot alike, but Steele has come farther emotionally than Daniel ever has. And Daniel is still hiding.

SPEAKER_00 2:41:32

I disagree. I disagree. Steele has allowed himself to be seen as having come far more emotionally than Daniel has. I think Daniel's still at there with I think Daniel's with Steele there in terms of his emotional development. I think just Daniel has refused to let his guard down in the way that Steele has allowed his to come down.

SPEAKER_01 2:41:58

Okay, yeah. Well, I I kind of just meant that I didn't mean that he hadn't developed emotionally. I mean he just I guess what you just said that Steele has allowed others to see it, that he's allowed himself to be vulnerable in a way that Daniel never has. Daniel has kept that guard up because he hasn't met anybody other than Steele. But even Steele, he hides from, not necessarily because he he doesn't trust him, but because he knows that revealing the truth of their relationship might cause more harm.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:29

And that would be the last hurt that he he could have.

SPEAKER_01 2:42:33

Exactly. And that's the only that's the only true connection that he has, literally, that we know of. And so when he says, I've spent my life dancing around its edges, he's basically just summed up a very lonely existence, which is really quite sad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:42:50

Well, he pauses and he eyes her and then he says, You want the truth? And he gly gives out a slight snort. He steps over to the dresser, reaches into the drawer, he scoops up a multitude of bottles, and angularly throws them onto the drink tray on the top of the dresser, and they clatter as they hit. Here it is, he concludes, and then softly adds, I'll take fantasy any day.

SPEAKER_01 2:43:12

Oof, and he like we just talked about how he doesn't let his guard down. That display of anger.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:18

That wall just came down hard.

SPEAKER_01 2:43:20

Like that display of anger, because obviously he's gotta be angry that he's dying. Anybody would be that there's nothing that they can do, theoretically, or he'd be doing it, and that the only person that knows right now is Laura, somebody who he, you know, as as she pointed out, they haven't had a good relationship with.

SPEAKER_00 2:43:38

And yeah, he wants he's scared of losing Harry to her. And he wants then he'll be gone. He he Daniel won't be in that equation anymore.

SPEAKER_01 2:43:50

And yeah, fantasy. He, you know, you want the truth? I'll take fantasy. And who wouldn't? Because to him, if he can still pretend to be in that fantasy for as long as possible, he can ignore what's actually happening to him.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:44:02

Ouch.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:04

Well, Laura gently says, I'm sorry. No need, he dismisses. Harry will finally be yours, irrevocably. Even a consummate artist at deception can't out fox the Grim Reaper.

SPEAKER_01 2:44:16

That wall just came right back up. The minute she showed him any sympathy, right? Uh, don't be. You'll get you'll get what you want. I can't, you know, he pretends it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:25

It's fine.

unknown 2:44:26

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:26

Laura looks at him and she doesn't say anything. Uh and I think it's as much that she's shocked at the revelation, as much as the the send uh the sense of surrender in his words.

SPEAKER_01 2:44:37

Yeah, somebody commented here, Steele is selective with who he lets see his vulnerability. Um, yeah. And and I think Daniel doesn't let anybody see it, except it right now it's kind of breaking through the cracks because he can't.

SPEAKER_00 2:44:53

There's so much pressure behind him that the wall is is starting to the dike is starting to break. Yeah. Well, after a moment, he asks, Does that satisfy your thirst for the truth? And there's another moment of silence. After a moment, Laura reveals that she's found something else. She walks over to the foot lugger, takes up a position on the opposite side of Daniel, and opens her right hand, which had been clutching something that we hadn't seen yet. And then we hear the sound of the music box rendition of our lawyers are too stupid to realize this song is in the public domain.

SPEAKER_03 2:45:27

I knew this was gonna happen because I had this in my notes. It's pleased when Irish eyes are smiling and Eric loses it. Yeah. That's what it says in my notes.

SPEAKER_00 2:45:38

Uh anyway, um, at the sound of the music, Daniel turns his head away, avoiding Laura's gaze. Pretty tune, he comments. What are you doing with it, Laura asks? Meaningless bobble, he dismisses. The very slightest hint of a hitch in his words. It belonged to the Earl of Claridge, she says. He meant it to go to his son. But it was stolen before his son could receive it, Daniel counters. Then it came to Mr. Steele with a note which said, Your father always wanted you to have this, and the note was signed Patrick O'Rourke. The thief gave it to O'Rourke, Daniel explains away. To give to the thief's son? Laura asks pointedly. A father wants to leave some legacy to his children, no matter how small, Daniel.

SPEAKER_01 2:46:23

So here's this is the only thing that that never really sits right with me. Why this watch? Why steal this particular watch to leave to steal? Why not leave something that actually belonged to Daniel instead of stealing something from somebody else?

SPEAKER_00 2:46:39

Maybe he's got nothing that he's kept long enough that Steel would attach any significance to it.

SPEAKER_01 2:46:46

Well, I mean, why would he attach any significance to this to this watch? It's not it's not a watch that's been in his family.

SPEAKER_00 2:46:52

Right, but I think Daniel knew that somehow the watch would lead back to the Earl. And that Steel might find a relationship with the Earl as his father and and and the Earl as with Steele as his son. Daniel, at the time he did this, he wasn't gonna reveal himself to Steele. Right, right. He had no plans to ever do that, but he knew that Steele desperately wanted a father, and he was setting it up so that Steele could have a father who was titled, who was uh a man who's except for the you know the beating up the uh the prostitutes, uh, you know, a respected figure.

SPEAKER_01 2:47:37

You know, except for that minor detail.

SPEAKER_00 2:47:41

Um I mean that I think this was Daniel's way of trying to give Steele something that he desperately wanted without revealing that this lowly con man was really his father, because that's not what Steele wanted.

SPEAKER_01 2:47:57

The legacy he wanted to leave to Steele was a father that Steele could be proud of having to be.

SPEAKER_00 2:48:04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 2:48:05

Um, which is, I mean, and he obviously didn't anticipate the eye color thing blowing it all up, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:48:14

Um anyway, uh Laura plays with the watch, perhaps to delay not only having to repeat the question, but also to delay hearing the answer. And finally, she just can't avoid the inevitable. She says, You still haven't told me what this is doing among your belongings. Daniel laughs, and it's a laugh with tension and relief and fear and surrender. Yeah. And he turns and walks back to the drawer, which moments before contained the sad commentary on his life, and says, I'm afraid I had I stole it again.

SPEAKER_01 2:48:47

And the interesting thing about this is that Daniel didn't have to admit it. He could have just said, No, I I swiped it from the Earl when I was the chief of his security. Or the thought it might be worth something, or the earl gave it to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:00

He could have because because it was what brought Steel to him. And even though he turned out not to be his son, the the the Earl knew that I was looking for my son as well, or I, you know, yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 2:49:13

He could have made something up.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:49:15

He didn't have to admit you're right. He kind of just once she asked that question, it's almost like it's too much effort for him anymore to maintain the lies story, yeah. To keep it all going. And he just he's tired. He's tired and he's sick and he's done, and she knows so much already.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:33

Why not give it away?

SPEAKER_01 2:49:34

And he just Yeah, exactly. It's like a res it's like a surrender rather than a reveal.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:39

Yeah. And she says, You're the thief. Well, she must have already known or sensed the truth of that statement.

SPEAKER_03 2:49:47

Yeah, even so things she knew.

SPEAKER_00 2:49:49

Even hearing the words coming from Daniel's mouth, she seems to have trouble processing the meaning of them and the implication. And Daniel half turns toward her and warns her that she's uncovered quite a Pandora's box. Yeah. And as a sign of respect and surrender, he addresses her by using her name. Yes. Not some intentional and dismissive sobriquet. And says, as difficult as it may be to believe, he admits,

Reveal that Daniel is Steele's father

SPEAKER_00 2:50:18

the young man you call Remington Steele is my son. And the two look at each other intently for a moment, and then Laura looks down at the watch in her hand. And as the camera pans down the front of her sweater, I that's where you got blurry-eyed. Yeah, pans down to the watch and focuses on it, it freezes. Did you notice her fingernails? I no, not polished, they're cut close. There's no fancy frou-frou, fake long fingernails. It's not even that well clipped and manicured. I mean, you can see where the the nails nail was clipped at a slightly awkward unrounded edge, the sort of clip fingernails an average person has, not the sort of fingernail you would think you would see on a well-paid actress. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 2:51:06

I kind of miss that in in TV because you saw more of that in the past than you do now. You don't really see that now anymore at all. But in the 80s, the 70s, you saw more natural people in and to an extent, British television still does this a lot. One of the things I noticed about Doctor Who when they when they revived it in 2005 was that Billy Piper, uh, whenever she cried, her mascara ran. And and like it was that, you know, kind of clumpy type of mascara that you'd buy at a super at like a cheap drugstore. And that was not just a you could pawn it off as like, well, this was a terrible choice for makeup. They have better mascara, sure. But her character was supposed to be a 19-year-old girl who worked in a shop, who did who still lived with her mom and didn't have any money and was kind of like a like in the low in the working class, right? So the fact that she buys cheap drugstore makeup is totally in character. And to see it run down her face when she cries was like, wow, they're actually letting her just be a human. She's ugly crying. This is not a pretty cry. This isn't like that one lone tear that trickles down your face and the rest of the makeup stays intact. So Laura's fingernails being this is this is also in character because I can't see Laura, we given all that she does, having perfectly manicured fingers with nail polish that never chips, it just wouldn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_00 2:52:34

She's climbing walls, she's scaling embassy buildings like just but but you can imagine the the director or the producer saying, Well, this is a a a shot that reveals too much of the normal finger nail on on your thumb. And we we want it to look attractive and beautiful, and it doesn't matter that it's out of character. We this is what we need. And had had a makeup artist file the edge and make it nice and smooth and round and buff it up so that it's got a little bit of a shine to it. No, none of that. None of that. Nope. It's like um, yeah, and you're talking about the the Doctor Who character. Uh something similar happened on The Office, uh, Jenna Fisher with her character of Pam. When she first started it, she said, okay, my character is uh early 20s. She's a uh receptionist at a paper company. She's done her best. She's gonna have a lot of money. She's not gonna be spending money going down to the beauty parlor all the time. Uh, she's going to be getting up, she's got 30 minutes to get her hair done, eat breakfast, and get off and do her makeup and get off to work. So, what would that character do for her hair and her makeup? And that's what she went with.

SPEAKER_01 2:53:49

Yeah. Similar idea with the Halloween movies. Uh, the first movie, Jamie Lee Curtis went and just basically wore her clothes as her character of Lori Strode because they had basically no budget. And so sh they were they were kind of just all right, let's wear what you've got in your closet. Uh, we have a comment. Oh, someone just said thank you for doing these podcasts. This has been my favorite show since it aired back in 1982. And to know there are other people who feel the same is a great feeling. Thank you for listening. It makes us so happy. Um only one other I have to do it because this is the second last chance I have for a buffy reference.

SPEAKER_00 2:54:22

No it's like a wooden stake through the heart.

SPEAKER_01 2:54:27

Sarah Michelle Geller in the first couple of episodes first season, actually. Um, and I didn't really pay much attention after this, but there's one shot of her in season one where she's leaning over the railing of the in the library, and the sun is coming in from outside, and you can see her arm, and her arm has hair. Like she has it's blonde, but you can see that she's got hair on her arm and it's visible and it's it's clearly there. And I was like, wow, they didn't ask her to shave that or or to to sort of, you know, because women are often expected to make themselves smooth everywhere. Um so that that particular uh shot was interesting. And Allison Hannigan, who plays Willow during the first season, there was a big battle between Joss Whedon and the network because the network wanted her to be more pretty. And Whedon, who felt that her character was nerdy and mousy, wanted her to be nerdy and mousy. So he was frequently putting her in less makeup, you know, kind of awkward-looking clothes. And the network, it's funny because you'd see one episode where she'd be mousy, and the next episode she'd have a full face of makeup, and that was because like that was the fight that was going on at the time. Like the network was like, no, no, no, you need to make her prettier. No, no, no, this is her character. Nicholas Brennan, as well, who plays Xander, was actually asked to stop working out because his character was too buff and he was supposed to be nerdy. So, like these are you know examples that I can think of as well, where actors and characters who have supposed to have more normal traits, you're right, the networks intervene and say, Oh, we they have to be beautiful, they have to be perfect, they have to the People have hair on their arms. People have awkward fingernails. People have, you know, and this is, I think that you're right. It's important that this shot be Laura's hand as is, because this is the sort of like the moment where the audience, where all of us realize the truth about who Daniel is, and it's kind of like not to say her her fingernails are not ugly, but this is an ugly truth moment. This is a uh taking breaking, you know, the emperor has no clothes. This is raw. And so her hands, everything should be raw. That look on her face, like you said before, when she starts questioning him about the about the watch, I think she knew. She suspected. But hearing him say it, it's it's two different things. It's two different things to suspect, hey, wait a minute, I think this man might actually be Mr. Steele's father, and then actually hearing him say, You're right, uh he's my son, she can't hide that reaction, that reaction of like shock, even though that's kind of what she expected.

SPEAKER_00 2:56:57

But there was also part of her that that was no, no, no, that that can't be right. I mean, yeah, there's no way that he would have been been his father. He would have said something about it before now. He this no, yeah, that's a crazy idea.

SPEAKER_01 2:57:13

I think as well, she wasn't expecting him to freely admit it.

SPEAKER_00 2:57:16

That too.

SPEAKER_01 2:57:17

Maybe that's where the shock came from because she suspected it, but she has been there have been almost no conversations that those two have had where he has given her all the truth without any lies, except for this one. And so this is why it's important. And I think it's even more important that the audience finds out via somebody else because it's you know, I we noted before that anytime we found out important information about Steele's background, he was always talking to somebody other than Laura, and so it's like I think it's kind of fitting that we get this information before he does. Because now Laura is tasked with this information and she has this burden of what do I do? I mean, this man has kept the secret from him, he's dying. Is it my responsibility to tell him?

SPEAKER_00 2:58:03

Do I have the right to tell him? Do I have the right?

SPEAKER_01 2:58:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:58:07

But at the same time, he has the right to know.

SPEAKER_01 2:58:10

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:58:11

Steele has the right to know.

SPEAKER_01 2:58:13

Yeah, this is a hard place that Daniel has put her in, and not intentionally, she figured it out. But now Laura's in this really awkward spot. It's kind of like if you find out your buddy's been cheating on his wife, and you know, your wife is friends with that with the wife, and you know, now she knows too. Does she tell the friend or does she kill? Like, this is a really hard decision because if she honors Daniel's wishes and Daniel's dying, and it's people want to honor the wishes of the dead, then she would keep this from him. And if she wants to honor the living, the man that she's trying to build a life with.

SPEAKER_00 2:58:46

Well, not only that, but I mean, he's d Daniel's clearly dying. I mean, he basically admitted it. Yeah. Realistically, just looking at the information, the pills, uh what Daniel's saying, it seems like it's it's pretty close. And Steele should have the opportunity to help connect with his father.

SPEAKER_01 2:59:08

Yeah. To uh ask his questions, to get his answers because he doesn't know his birth date. He doesn't know his birthday. Like how they you know, can you imagine not knowing the day you were born? Like that's the most fundamental and yeah, his name, where his mother, because again, we've we've focused almost completely on the on the father element here, but he's he he had a mother, who was she? He deserves to know that too. There's a lot that that only Daniel can give, and now Laura knows, so she's she's got some hard choices to make.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:42

Yeah, yeah.

End on a devastating cliffhanger

SPEAKER_01 2:59:44

So of course, this is where the episode ends.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:46

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 2:59:47

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 2:59:48

I I think they call that uh uh cliffhanger. Cliffhanger, yeah. Well, it's funny because not a coat hanger, cliffhanger.

SPEAKER_01 2:59:55

My daughter and I have been going through various TV shows and watching them stuff that I've I've watched. We haven't started Remington Steel yet, but it's coming. And anytime we get to an episode of anything that's a cliffhanger in the credits start to roll, she goes, Oh come on! She gets really mad. And I'm like, so I I am telling her, like, after one particular big one, I say, Can you imagine? It was a season finale cliffhanger. I said, Can you imagine waiting three months to see what was gonna happen? And she was like, What? Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:00:25

And think of all the TV shows that ended on a cliffhanger, and the show ended on a cliffhanger.

SPEAKER_01 3:00:30

Lois and Clark is the worst one for that. Lois and Clark was supposed to be renewed for a fifth season, and at the it was a similar situation with Remington Steel. It got axed because the network was bought by somebody else. They moved it around a bunch of times, the ratings dropped, and so the final episode has Lois and Clark finding a baby on their doorstep after finding out they can't biologically have children and they're not allowed to adopt. They open the door, there's this baby laying in a crib and a note that says, Lois and Clark, this child belongs to you, and it's wrapped in a blanket with the Superman symbol on it, and that's the last shot of the whole series. And so fans were like, I'm sorry, what now? You're leaving us here because they could not this show was canceled. They even tried to do like a TV movie to wrap it up, and then they were like, Nope, you're done. So she's Lois and Clark is one of the shows. We're working our way through. She's gonna be real pissed when we get there. So anyway, anyway, all right.

SPEAKER_03 3:01:24

That's right, finish it all.

SPEAKER_00 3:01:26

So um that's yeah, that's that's a wrap on this episode.

SPEAKER_01 3:01:33

These last two episodes are probably the best of of this very short season five. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:01:38

I really enjoy them. Yep. So uh head over to our website, steelwatching.com. Uh you find show notes. No Amazon links because we didn't have any movie references.

SPEAKER_01 3:01:47

No, we really didn't have any.

SPEAKER_00 3:01:49

And um, so that's a that's a scratch.

SPEAKER_01 3:01:52

But you'll also find links to other resources such as the Twitter, Facebook page, and the Instagram page, as well as the um officially unofficial uh Steel Watchers Facebook group, which is not our group. We don't run it, we have you know nothing to do with the maintenance of it, but we're there and and other people are there, and we all talk about Remington Steel, and it's fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:02:13

So yeah. So next episode is the final episode.

SPEAKER_01 3:02:20

Stealed with a kiss.

SPEAKER_00 3:02:21

Part two. Part two. So we'll see you next time, everybody. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_01 3:02:28

Bye bye.